Some photos taken on my birthday celebration...


Me and sufen



Sufen and me


My sisters singing birthday song for me! 


My birthday cake! 


Making a wish... Wanna Know?! *_< 


Blowing candles time! May my wishes come true!! 


at esplande.. 


Sufen... 


It's us again! 


Lina and me... 


Sisters love... 

This gift can be said to be given by my mum... She gave me money to shop at OG... And these are the 2 skirts which I bought...


Skirt from Dorothy Perkins!  
It costs $19 only...


the other skirt...  
This is the skirt that costs $55.20!! But well I like it... Like the cutting...

Just reached home... Went to KTV with Sufen, Lina and both of my sisters... So sweet of them to celebrate it for me... Thanx guys!! Appreciate it alot...

Had a fun time at "Party World"...

Recieved my presents from Alicia, Sufen and Lina...

Alicia gave me a bottle of marbles... Indeed a little creativity from her little mind...


Gift from alicia 

Sufen gave me a flower-shaped necklace...


Gift from sufen... 


A closer look... 


Nice card rite! 


But... It's empty! 


and Lina gave me a cross necklaces... Thanx man! been wanting to buy one cross necklace... You help me save all the trouble...


Cross... 


From Lina... 

Got my happy birthday wishes from some of my friends... Also message 2 of my friend who share the same birthday as me... hehe... So happy to be able to share this important day with 2 of this friends... Happy Birthday CHRIS AND IVAN!! ENJOY!! AND DON"T FORGET MY PRESENT!! HEHE... Just joking!

After KTV, went to esplande with them... Had a talk with Sufen... hm... Finally!

Off to bath... Then rest... Will upload the photos tml... if i can do it!

Woke up late today... Lessons start at 9... I woke up at 9... All becoz of my laziness... hehe...

Finshed lesson at 1... Then intended to head down to Cityhall alone to get storybook... But so sweet of Meimei to offer to accompany me... Was walking out from school then saw James, Edwin and Hanyong... Were walking with them to the train station... They were heading to PS... So they pshyco-ed us... Or rather as Hanyong claims persuaded us... Coz it sounds nicers... Head down to PS with them... Regret abit coz the Times bookshop there is so small... And I couldn't find the book which I want so ended up buying another book entitled... "PS, I love you"... A rather sad story...

Some people wait their whole lives to find their soulmates. But not Holly and Gerry. They are childhood sweethearts... But the unthinkable happens... Gerry's death devaststes Holly... But as her 30th birthday looms, Gerry comes back to her.

spend about 1 hour in the shop coz I couldn't decide what to buy... Finally got the book and went to the arcarde to look for Edwin and James... After went to have our lunch while waiting for Hanyong to cut his hair... Had beef noodles but didn't had any appetite... Struggle to finish it...

After that Meimei got to go home, Hanyong back to school for rock climbing and me... Went to OG!! Finally!! I spent about 2 hours there man!! Was deciding what to buy... So that it would accumulate to $75... Really had a difficult time... When I don't have the money, I've got lots of things to buy... But when I had the money I don't know what to buy... What the hack! Never in my whole life I thought this would happen to me... Man!

After shopping for 2 hours plus... Finally got stuffs... And I spend $99... bought 2 skirts and 2 sets of bra... Didn't go home start away... Went to lucky chinatown that area... Shop for awhile... Bought 5 pairs of earrings, one braclet and 2 necklaces... One for Jermaine... Coz she likes Jade... Though it's not real but think it looks nice... Bought one for myself too...

Got tired so headed for home... Terrible man! The bus was so packed!! Got hit by the bus door... hurt the back of my heels twice already... Yesterday in lecture hall and today the bus door... Don't what's wrong with people nowadays... THe bus is so packed and I'm already squeezing... And they gave me those eyes as if I'm at fault... Just becoz I was reading!! What the hack!! What's wrong with me reading and not giving space!! It's not as if I'm blocking your way~! Spastic people~! Just been pissed off...

But felt ok when I alighted the bus... Finally a load off my mind... Got the card for my mum already... So she will not nag anymore... hehe... She gave me another $50 again... Probably it's nearing my birthday that's why...

Don't know whether should I be happy that my birthday is nearing or not... Happy coz my mum been giving me money... She always does... At least it's been a good week in this sense...

But nothing good ever happen on my birthday... Faced with my bad prelims results in Sec 4, had a quarrel with my aunt on 2 years of my birthday... Probably I should just celebrate it alone or keep it low... Even though my wish will never come true but I don't want to be disappointed every year on my birthday... In fact I'm so afraid for the day to come... I'm not looking forward to it... Wish that day could be fast-forward...

Well, off to do my project already...

Haiz... Didn't manage to go OG in the end... Coz I fell asleep on my bed while waiting for my mum to take a nap... Super tired la...

Manage to wake up on time to catch my show... so sad like each other but can't get together becoz of the sister...

Having many of thoughts this days... Positive... Negative... Think more of negative...

Seeing someone again, makes me feel so hurt... Everytime I see that someone... Those scene just flash through my mind... But I'm glad I made that decision... Filled with regrets but smart move... At least I'm free...

Why is that I can't bear with singleness?! Ain't I enjoying it? Probably, it's just my mood swing... Feeling rather down, tired and laid back this days... I think I should come up with a mood chart for myself... To keep track of my moods... Look at my life... And see where's the problem... I guess I know why... Not having enough faith with God... Who's always there for me everytime... Looking over me... Have not been spending time with God... Have to start already...

My mind is blank now... Trying very hard to remember what I want to blog...

Ohya... I finally foun someone who think the same way as me... My FA tutor, June lin... Coz yesterday my whole class guys skipped FA and she was worried... I always have this thinking... I don't like the subject but I'm studying for the sick of studying and passing it... I don't like to fail... On one! I never like Physics but I still had to study it... Always been telling my sisters that but doesn't seem to be getting into their head... Well, she said that too...

Got lessons at 9 tml... End at 1... Got nothing after day!! Nice day... What should I do? Tot of going out alone... go to the bookshop to look at some books which I want to buy.... Then probably head down to OG... My mum is deseparate for that card... Better get it before the month end...

Oh I'm so proud of myself... Thought the same old thing will happen to my com... But I actually settle it... I delete some of the stuff in cookies... then did this ad-ware scan... Hehe... And it did not hang... I'm so smart... So worried that this will happen again... It always happen once in a blue moon... Coz my friends are coming over next week to do project... guess it should be ok... Pray hard!

I'm home!! Home sweet home!! I feel so good!! Feel so good with nothing after school... No tuition and band... haha... I'm home early and i'm so happy when I saw my mum... Feeling so cosy now...

Just finish shitting!! Shiok!! hehe...

Listening to "Stand by me"... it's from the disney channel... Super funny... The frogs are so cute! Timom and Pumba makes me feel so cosy... There's such a strong bond between them... Very meaningful song... "As long ass you stand by me"... Friends can do that too... I'll always stand by my friends...

Hehe... Going to OG with my mum later... Love shopping with my mum... Just realize how much I love my mum... Really love her alot...

Off to watch tv...

Finally got abit of reuslts but not sure if it's useful or not... *Praying hard*

ok the light of hope is gone... Can't find anything... And the freaking lab is so cold... My hands are going numb.... I want a hot cup of milo... But not craving for it....

Manage to come to early but! I took cab coz of my laziness... Woke up and went back to sleep... Think I better sleep early tonight... Feeling so tired... *yAwNz*

It's gonna be a long day... I guess... School ends at 3... Can't wait to go home and slack... Coz there's nothing after school today.... No band! No Tuition!! Just home, tv, books and me!! Ohya.. and my family... I missed so much time with them... Probably go out with my mum to OG coz she still wants to make her card... let see how... *eViL*

Then she can pay for my stuff then i get to keep the $50 that she last gave me.... haha... probably not... let see what she say first... But she would always end up saying... "Aiya, bu yong jing la! Take it and don't spend all!"

Then she'll give me that look and I'll give her that smile!! hehe...

Anyway having MA practical now... Doing project... I'm searching for the data for Japan's economy... Coz we've got some values missing for the one that we collected at the library... But still can't find anything... Anyway working hard... Trying not to be laid back... got a test in week 4... Got to start now... Exams are also coming soon... got to really pull up my socks... I'm so behind my classmates... I guess.... It's a short term... Only 6 weeks of school... Oh I love it man!! Study late at night to the wee hours... And get to sleep till afternoon... More time with my bed!

Still can't find my data!! Ah...!!!!

Sunday

Thought it's going to be weird but I was thinking too much... Everything went well at Sentosa... Everything was like gone... But felt better... The outing was a success! Although little people turn up... But we did enjoyed ourselves... Managed to click around with Andy's friends... Really nice people... Especially Serene... She sounds like Eugenia... But she's far better than Eugenia...

We played couple of games... Then there was this game that I had to compete with the opponent team in the sense of highest pitch!! And my opponent was Mei Chan!! My sis!! Both of our voice are of higer pitch except for Meiying! Extra!!! Voice so low!! My student thought she was my boyfriend over the phone... hehe...

Of coz I win!! My pitch is the highest at home!!! They didn't even need to compare with a recorder!! haha... Way to go to my voice!! All thanx to the choir training during primary school days...

We wanted to play Ultimate Freezbie... but too bad it rain!! So can't play.... So waited for some of them to change... My auntie is so horrible! While waiting for the others... She was sort of "match-making" me and Charles... She asked if I can consider him... Coz she said I prefer mature guys... But he's 9 years older than me lor!!! What the hack!! So far off!! I like mature guys but.... not in age wise... Unless I really like that guy or else no!

After separating from the others... Went to Harbourfront with Meiying to look for Lina... Took our dinner then she came to my home to study... Helped her in her geography... Not bad! I can be geography teacher!! hehe... Way to go Jocelyn!! :x

Lucky I did my FA on saturday... Coz i was too tired to do my work last night...

Monday

Managed to wake up for school... But! Took a cab to school... Coz woke up to late! RWPS was abit slack... Coz she go through with us our individual group project... Can you believe it!?! Our group got the highest! And guess how much we got 61%! What the hack!! That's bad!!

Went to the library to collect data on Switerland for MA... we spend 1 hr just to get the data into floppy disk!! Irritating man... But in the end we did it... Then went for FA... Was super tired... Trying hard to concentrate... Manage to...

After that went to Meimei's house to do ecm project.... Manage to do somethings... Or rather finished and divide the work up... Super tired... Left at ard 7... Share a cab with Nat... Was $11... Slept in the cab... Finally get some sleep...

Went for tuition at ard 9... Didn't do much coz she got some problem with drawing angles... So spend abt more than 1 hr to do her school work...

I'm so happy!! I'm rich!! My mum gave me $100 for my birthday... No at first she gave me $50 than asked me enough or not... Then I said enough coz the other time she gave me $150 already... But she said this time is for my birthday present... So i say like that I might as well say not enough.. Then she gave me another $50... hehe... I love my mum!! She really dotes on me alot!! but I really missed my Grandma! Think she's getting me a cake to celebrate for my birthday too... And also cook... hehe... Looking forward to good food! FOOD! GLORIOUS FOOD!!

And Meiying gave me $50 for my birthday... Coz she don't know what to get for me... Haha... I'm rich to get books for myself already... Saw lots of books I wanted to buy when I went to "Times" that day... Hand itch!! hehe...

Off to copy some of my tutorial then sleep... Lessons start at 9... Sian... But now no band liaoz... Shiok! Finally a rest!! So I can come home earlier to rest...

Copying time then... Sweet dreamsssSSSsssss...........

I don't even know how to start... I've not open my mouth since i put down the phone... Was doing my FA tutorial just now... But sub-consciously I'm thinking of another thing... Why does my life goes up and down so fast... When I'm happy, I'm really happy... But just when I'm happy, bad things take the happiness away from me... Things that screwed up my relationship with people...

Just when we are getting closer, just like the past... Things happen today... And there it goes again... back to square one... And I just kept silence... I didn't explain coz I couldn't find the reason... No matter how I did, reasons that I thought of are just a piece of shit... I'm still at fault... I know it too well...

Just this matter alone, make my happiness, that I have since afternoon, gone... Gone... I don't know how and what I have to do to make things go back again...

Probably I should be left alone... With my forgetfulness, I think I shouldn't be given any responsibility... I'm irresponsible... No matter how responsible others think about me, but in your eyes I'm forever irresponsible... you affect my life so much... But I doubt you know it... Coz I never know how to tell you... the barrier is there...

Probably you won't even believe me... coz you have a different thinking... And you always manage to even make me believe or agree with you that I'm in the wrong... That's why I couldn't think of reasons to explain...

I'm in a lost now... I don't know how to face you... I'm filled with guiltiness...

I think I should just buried myself under my blanket and do some soul-searching?

Just reached home not long ago... Just finished bathing... Feel so refreshed now...

It's the big day for SP concert band just now... The IBM concert had ended 7 hours ago... well, can see all of us enjoyed ourselves... We all went super high... Alan, Venassa, Rebecce, Joanne and I came out to dance for "American Graffiti"... I guess this is the first time... We broke the rule again... We always break rules... But it all leads to good results!!! The audience enjoyed "Kabe".... and the whole convention hall was filled with laughter... And we were simply enjoying ourselves on stage... Sufen said that we seems to be enjoying more than performing... But well, if we ourselves don't enjoy... how are we going to lead the audience to enjoy... right?!

My sisters and Lina bought pink roses for me!! So sweet!! My favourite colour!! Thanx peeps!

Apparently, I didn't manage to play the running notes for "Merry Widow"... Coz i came in too early and was lost after that... But well, I'm ok... I didn't dwell over it... I guess I learn how to take things lightly now... It's no use bothering over it... I can stop the band... the conert has to go on... So all I can do is... To enjoy this concert... And to focus on my other pieces for the concert... "RiverDance" went well... Even though I screwed up the starting when Yong xiang was playing... But we got together then after that he screwed up abit but got back again...

So glad he didn't rush... I think we did a great job... I'm happy for River Dance... hehe...

After the concert, went to Holland V with Muru, Alan, Venasaa, Raf, Chee Guan and Jermaine... Had our dinner at a coffee shop... The eupho and tuba section was there too... All of us wanted to go Breko... But they had no sits for 16 people so ended up at Coffee Bean... Not too bad... Enjoyed ourselves... Took lots of photos...

Supposed to reach home at 2+... But both jermaine and I had a long talk... After alighting from the cab... we sat down at a place and started talking... We talked till 4+... We talked about lots of things... At first it was about my problems... Some sensitive feelings I have with the section... then talked abouot her problems... Just contiune talking non-stop... our grandmothers, some eerie stuff but that was like for few mins... then about relationship....

Never had a good talk with her for a long time... Both of us have been busying with band, projects, tests and personal stuff... bought a drink from 7-11 then sat outside and talk again... My mum called a few times to ask where am I... I know she's just worried... Not angry with me...

Kind of weird... Jermaine's father only trust her with me and ting hui... same for my mum... When she knows I'm with Jermaine or Sufen... She doesn't say anything...

Even though the concert is over, I'm not the least happy... In fact, I'm sad... But glad that I talked to Jermaine... It's not because of my playing or becoz everything is over... I'm glad that everything is over... I can have a break! Finally! Becoz of this concert... There's some unhappiness between me and some people... And I'm very sad about it... probably the section need a break from me... I'm too hard on everybody... I'm sorry if I'm too hard on you guys... Probably i'm being too sensitive but I believe there are people who are unhappy...

I think recently many things happen in my life... it has change my life... I've changed abit... I've learn not to put my heart and soul into everything now... I just do what I have to do that's all... I've not been my usual self... Coz I can't anymore... everything has change my life and I'm really very sad... I can't even used words to express how I feel... All I know is that... the feeling is making cry...

I think I know what I should do already... Sorry Jermaine... After all those advices, I still stick with my initial decision...

Backstage preparation before the percussion individual performance...


Venassa and rebecca... 


Zai... 


ME! 

It's our turn!


Before the piece start... 


KABE! 


Our tribe! 


Raf's tribe dancing... 


Banner made by the first year 

Full band...


Full band 


Full band 


Merry Widow 


Flowers given by my sisters and lina!! It's my favourite colour!! PINK!! 

Damn had a bad morning... I had a good sleep last night!! But I was awaken by all the drilling at 9.15am... When I should wake up at 9.30am... i know it's just 15mins... But it makes a difference!!!! But well, I extended my sleeping time to 9.45... But the stupid drilling didn't stop!!!

It's only when I got out of the house then I saw the light to all this drilling... It was some renovation of the shop downstairs... I was crusing and swearing when I saw it... Stupid people!! Ruin my beauty sleep...

I woke up with puffy eyes... Don't know why... I didn't cry... Probably I drank too much water the night before... Or rather I didn't have enough sleep... I selpt at 3+... Studying for ECM...

I took a bus to school!!! Finally no cab!!! hehe... Reached school at 10.50... not bad quite punctual!! Then went to apply for LOA for 1 sep and the past 2 days...

Took quite awhile...

I just want this to be over soon... Just 3 more days... All this would be over...

So close...

I'm glad that Nei called...Make me see things that I can't see at that moment... I'm not alone and God has not foresaken me... He's always there... Feel so much better after Nei prayed for me... My heart is comfort by God... No longer feel the hurt...

Went to church this morning... Feel so happy... To feel the warmth of God and He's love... It seems like a long time even though I just didn't go last week... After Service head down to PS with Pastor Lee, Nei, Andy, Meiying and Mei Chan...

Nei wanted to give Andy and I a treat... Coz both of our birthday fall on this month... His is tml and mine is in 2 weeks time... Since Andy is the birthday boy I let him decide where we should makan... But that guy took such a long time to think... He went from head to tail then back to head again... So fickle minded... One moment Thai food, the other moment indo-food... Thai Express, he said he had a bad impression... Swenses don't like... Can't stand him... So in the end I decided for him... Swenses...

Reached PS then... Still couldn't make up his mind when he saw the menu for Thai Express... Feel like bashing him up!!! ARGH!!! End up! Decided to have lunch at Thai Express then Ice-cream at Swenses... hehe...

I had "Fire Noodle".... Super spicy... For once I eat till I cried... Guess I did the wrong thing by eating spicy food with cold water... No wonder it makes it worse... So full!! Straight after that we went over to Swenses to have Ice-cream... Shared "Earthquake" with Nei, Pastor Lee and Andy... Then after that we discuss about the Sunday church outing... Everything's out now... So glad....

Simply couldn't walk after that... Went to Carrefour to get some tidbits.... Ohya... Met Jackson and Bee Cheng... Hmm... Wonder why they are together? Well... Nvm...

HURRAY!!! PS is having some bra sales!! haha... Saw a few which I like... Going to get them on Wednesday... Intended to go with my sis, Mei Chan... But I guess can forget abt it... After what had happen...

Head down to Orchard point OG... Bought 2 skirts... hehe... at $32... Well, quite cheap.... took a long time to try and walk around somemore...

Separated with Nei and pastor lee after we came out from OG... Decided to go home... But both of us had the sudden crave for "Mango Tango"... SO headed down to Bugis just to drink... hehe... Stupid right... But well... Who cares! I had my cup of drink! Then from Bugis took a cab home...

Everything seriously went well... But everything was screwed up when we reached home....

I'm so upset... why is my closet people only seems to be close to me physically but not mentally and emotionally... Ain't we supposed to share everything since we are a family...

Mei Chan came home with a big present... And I asked her who gave her that... she said her fren... I asked her if the guy likes her she said she don't know... But I think God had it all planned... To let me the fool to get out from darkness... A card dropped out from the bed, I picked it up and I told her the card dropped... I opened up the card and see... Guess what I saw... They've been together for a month... Why is is that she had to lie to me? I bet Meiying knew about this coz the guy is her friend...

I really feel like a fool... why?! I was angry at first but I was sad after that... Ain't we supposed to be close?! Don't tell me all this while, it's just pretending... I told them everything in my life... I share with them everything... Ain't they supposed to tell me their life? I thought we should share... Probably I'm too naive... I really so cheated... I think they don't treat me as an elder sister... Probably i'm not their biological sister...

I wanted to change the Jocelyn I am now... I want to change into a sacaristic, snob, hack care, irritating bitch.... Whoever talk to me... I won't bother about them... I won't give any advice or do what i do now... I want the good part of me to vanish and the bad in front of everybody... But God knew what I was thinking... Nei called and told me somethings about the skirt... Then she asked whether is Meiying home or not? She told me to give her a call and I told her I don't want and that I can't be bothered about them... before I couldn't finished my sentence I cried...

I told her everything and she consoled me... Her words really make those hatred go away... She said that sometimes what I do to people... They may not do the same thing... My sisters may feel that It's their privacy or probably she's afraid that we may scold them... If we know that these people are like that... Don't put all your heart and soul into this matter coz what I could get back is disappointment... She knock some sense into me...

I put all my heart and soul into them, even though I said I wouldn't care... But all I get was the pierce in my heart...

I think I shouldn't put all my heart and soul into other people's matters anymore... Except for my own work, interest and church... Coz I will end up hurting myself....

Nei called Meichan to lecture her... Think instead of feeling gulity (coz she didn't bother to apologize), she hates me to the core now... She's now downstairs with her friends... She's crying to her friends telling them what I did to make my aunt scold her and how she cried... And I become the bad guy in front of all her friends... But well, be it...

I'm going to try to guide them when they need to... But no longer with all my heart and soul anymore...

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz

Just reached home... Went to see the doctor... Everything went well... He said that I had good recovery and I need not depend on medication... Since I have not taken medicine for 3 months and there was no outburst... So happy! At least everything is under control already!

No worries people~! I'm talking about my skin! Not any sickness...

I can say good-bye to my acne face already! But he gave me a gel to apply every night... To prevent outburst again... Coz there's no cure for acne... Just got to learn how to take care of my skin... I guess I know how to take proper care already...

After that went to Circuit Road hawker centre to have dinner with my mum and sisters... Lina was there and Uncle Robert... We had steamboat!! Yummy!! Missed those vegetables and fishballs!! hehe... Coz when I eat steamboat I only go for fishball, vegetables and the japanese mushroom... Don't really like to eat meat... Anyway wonderful "vegeterian" dinner...

I haven't study my ECM yet... Got to start later... It's 0n wednesday...

The holidays are going to be over soon... So sian... I feel so laid back... Can't get anything done... Still got projects!!

I've been blogging like 2 to 3 times a day... coz I want to write every moment down... Every moment to be remembered.... Coz I'm very scatterbrain... I don't want any moment to be slipped away from my hand...

I feel so sticky... Going to bath... Then rest!! Got church tomorrow!!!! Hurray!!! Didn't go to church last week... Felt so uneasy... And it seems like a long week... Love going to church... It makes me forget all my tireness and worries... Even the morning sickness would just go away once I enter the church... Feel so light-hearted there... :P

I"m so sleepy and tired... Feel like sleeping but going out with my mum later to see doctor and go for dinner...

Must be all those perspiration in the band room just now... Went for sectionals in the morning... Then the freaking band room air con is not on... In fact it can't be on... Coz of the 5 day work week... so sat can't have any cca... Stupid~! Perspire like hell!!

Went through all the IBM pieces except for "October"... Luckily we didn't go through that or else I'll start to sleep... Well, need lots of practice... I still can't play my parts for "Merry Widow"...

After sectionals, stayed in the band room to practice merry widow... Kept practicing the running notes... Didn't stop and rest... My arm went numb just now... But well my efforts paid off... I could play now except for a few wrong notes now and then... I'm left with the last 3 bars of running notes... Couldn't go on with it coz too tired... My arm is still aching now... Must relax more when play...

Come to think of it... where were the rest of the percussionists? There were only a few of us only... Pathetic...

Practice till about 3... Then went to Clementi for lunch with Raf, Charlton and Jermaine... Then headed home...

But Jermaine and I went to Tiong Bahru to walk for awhile 'cos we were looking for specs... Intend to buy a specs with plastic frame... well see about it first coz i'm not used to it...

Hehe... My hamsters are here... So adorable!! my god!! I was blogging half way then my aunt told me to get ready for it... hehe... Well hane not thought of names for them yet.. Probably on the way out...

Finally finished everything with music... Pick the song "Love in any language"... One of my all time favourites... Also added some words to keep myself going whenever I "drop by" my blog... To keep myself going whenever I'm tired or feel like giving up...

My bed is calling me... Off to sleep! *yAwNz*

hehe... I changed my blog skin!! Finally got it done... encounter with some problems just now... But well everything is solved!

Like the background... Strawberries! and more strawberries! The sight of it makes me feel like eating my blog up... hehe...

Plus the fact it's my favourite colour and fruit!!

Wanted to study just now... But when I finished bathing I felt so refreshed so I sat down to watch tv... then surf for more blogskins... Had my dinner and went to teach...

My aunt whom I called Nei, called me just now... Told me that Sunday we will be going to get tidbits for the outing next sunday... She said something that really made me jump! She told me that the OG at orchard point is having sales... And skirts that are used to be sold at $90+... Is now only 15+... MY GOD!! What kind of sale is this man!! I was so happy! But well not sure if those skirts are of my liking or not... But i'll definitely go down and take a look!! I won't want to miss this chance!

Haha... I'm not broke anymore!! My mum gave me money!! I think I'm so blessed!! Everytime when I'm near to broke, my mum would just leave the money on my table! She's always my rescuser! hehe... She totally understand me!

Just like the camp... Before I left for camp she gave me $100... But when I came back home on saturday... She left $25 on my table on sunday morning and $15 on monday morning... Altogether $140... And you know what... I was left with nothing after that! I don't know how I spent all that money... Guess is cab and the food i bought... really need someone to take care of my finance...

My hamsters are coming tomorrow!! Haha... Can't wait to recieve them with open arms... My aunt janet is giving them to me... Winter white... Wanted this breed all the while! finally got them... can't wait to see how tiny they are coz they just came to this world like a few weeks.... hehe... :P

Having sectionals tomorrow morning... Last sectionals before IBM... then it's exam period! Don't plan to go anywhere after that! Got to come home to prepare the cage for my hamsters... Talking about them... What should I name them?! Still thinking about it...

What do u guys reckon?!

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hmm... let's see...

I woke up at 11+... lying on the bed for while before i got up to brush my teeth and have a nice cup of Golden tomato juice to help aid in my digestive system...

Snack abit and all i did was just slack on my bed and watch tv... Then my mum brought lunch back for me... Wah! Missed her wanton noodles so much!! Finally had it today!

After that... slack on my bed again!! After awhile, I fell asleep!! Woke up.... then had a cup of apple juice and snack again... Then finally on my com to blog...

the whole day is just slacking, snacking and sleeping! I can feel the fats growing on me... But it's been a long time since i had the time to do this... Finally a day for myself together with the things that i like to do...

I just remember that I need to study for test... totally forgot abt it... Gonna teach later...

For now, i'm gonna take a bath and buried myself in my notes, reading and some writing...

And some soul-searching, before my noisy sisters come back...

I'm feeling rather down nowadays... Even though when I'm with my friends... I go crazy... But when I come home and hide myself under my blanket I'm no longer the Jocelyn that everyone sees in the day...

Sufen said that I'm acting rather strangely... I'm mean speaking strangely... she was so freak out I guess... When I told her about that thing yesterday...

Haiz... I guess I'm too tired... I need some space and rest...

Or else my feelings is going to control over me again... sometimes I wonder why must God create us with this thing called feelings... But if we are not filled with feelings... Our life would just be a straight line... No more interesting events!

Went out with zai, venassa, rebecca, Qiao ling, muru to have lunch at rice table at cuppage there... Well, Had a full lunch... the food was not bad but i guess is not much of liking to me today...

After lunch, head down to Bugis... Went to the arcade... alan joined us... Played some lame games... Then sat down at Rockery to chat for awhile... then Raf came to join us... went to TCC... well, me and zai didn't want to sit down so we went for window shopping... By the time we were back... they had already finished their drinks... Then we head to this halal coffee shop which sells fishball noodles, wanton noodles etc...

Intended to eat desserts but couldn't find the place... so gave up... Instead we went to Breeko! Chilli out an chat!! Ohya... Raf was analsying our characteristic by our handwriting!! Guess what!! Nobody will ever thought of this man!! You know what did Raf analyse from muru's handwriting!! he have high sex drive!! haha... The moment we heard this... WE, 3 girls can't stop laughing!! My god!! Zai kept making fun of him... haha!!! Sorry brother!! It's just too unbelievable!!

But know what!! Raf is really very accurate!! He was like 99.99999% right!! My god!! Probably one day, you guys can give me your handwriting then i'll pass it to him to analyse... It's free!

Wanted to go home... But Zai suddenly suggested to go "Actors"... WAh!!! Wonderful place man!!! Alan! Muru!! U guys missed lots of fun lor!!!

"Actors" is a pub... but is not those pub where u dance like crazy or watever... it's a place to chilli out... Zai, Venassa, Raf and I had so much fun!!

After reaching the place for abt 30 mins... there was a live band!! Shiok man!! The songs they played were superb!!! We played tai-tee... But after awhile, Venassa and me started to dance to the music... it was so romantic... But when they played "Can't take my eyes off you"... All of us went haywire!! We started singing loudly!! But well there was only 4 of us there! Coz the night is still young!

So they told us to go down and sing but we refused!! We simply went high!! I was super high!! Plus I was having terrible headache!! I did not need alcohol to make turn red!! My face was super red when I came out...

Anyway the bus came shortly after i reached the bus-stop... Was like dead when i was sitting in the bus...

Having terrible headache... and it's making my eyes red...

The concert went well... Even though there were breakdown in between...

I screwed up the drumline... but managed to get back... But well... Everybody enjoyed... The audience were so entertained by us...

After concert, we had band camp straight away... We went for AGM... Horrible tiime... All the time the topic revolves around the key issue... And the percussionists were all starving... And I guess this issue makes it worse... It's all because some of them are against someone... Politics!

After AGM, we went to the area near the sports hall to have our "dinner"... the time was already 1+... All of us had a talk till about 5+... all of it was about the concert...

Only managed to sleep at 6+... We were all dead beat...

Went home on saturday... Coz i thought I had test on wednesday... But when I reached home I realized the test was next week... hehe... sorry alan!!

Guess what! I slept from 6+ till next morning 6am... Open my eyes and went back to sleep again... hehe... Don't start saying I'm a pig!! I'm over tired... Put yourself into my shoes... guess you will be like me...

Had section competition on Monday night... We had already planned to celebrate the success of our concert... Be it if we win or not for the competition...

WELL, we didn't win... But we recieve the loudest applauses!! The most important thing is that everybody enjoyed and we, the percussionists, enjoyed too!! I guess we lost because of the IBM quiz... But never mind it's ok... Alan was quite sad about it... But I guess he somehow got over it after that...

We played badminton, volley ball and captain's ball... Haha... I finally paired up with Jermaine!! After 4 years!! Even though it was not a real game but we put in our best... And we lost to 7-6... Not that bad right! We were the only girls' team that played the longest!! ANd we make good partners!! hehe...

Slept at abt 6+... Woke up at 8+... Then had full band with Mr Tan from 9-12... Then head for home!! hehe... Home Sweet Home!!

Went to do project with my friends just now... Managed to get things done... Came home to have my beauty sleep before going out with my sis to K-ster...

Been thinking of someone recently... Never thought he would be in my mind once again... Thinking of the time we spent together in the past... Guess i'm just too tired that's y...

Off to sleep... Meeting up with the section for lunch tml...

DE AVANGANDA PERCUSSIANS 1!! Is in 19 hours time~! Man!! I'm so nervous!! Just hope it's gonna be a good concert~!!

Got camp after that~! Haven pack my bag yet!! tot of packing it tml.... But guess I can forget abt it!!

Better start packing now~!

hahah!!! I'm feeling so high now!! So happy!!! Can't stop grinning!!

My friends who are not interested in any band thingy... They had preview of our concert just now... Guess what they say... Wei bin said, "Thinks it's gonna be a good concert tml, seems real good!"

haha... Man!! Plus ruben might be getting another ticket from me... Makes my day even better!! Something good before a good night sleep!!!

Guess it's a good sign to us for the concert tml!! hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahahahahaah!!! :P

I'm pissed!! So pissed! I'm so angry!! Ah.... I hate you!!!

I cried to sleep last night... I cried for 1 whole hour!!! Is it going to be the same again tonight?!!

Or am I going to be burn with flame within me!!

Saturday
Went to school for sectionals... Then after that went out with Venassa, Jermaine,Muru & Charlton... Had a tiring day... And I was very pissed... So too bad... Muru and Charlton saw a sight of me that they were so shock... I ate alot... Went to IMM... Had fishball noodle, yam cake and Chui kueh... share it with jer and Ven... Then Went to Daiso to get some concert stuff... Haha... It was like a playground for the few of us... Then head down to Orchard, think to look for hat... Took 105... Tot that it will go to PS but forgot it doesn't... So alighted at Far east.... On our way we bought the $1 ice-cream... Straight after that Venassa,jermaine and me had bubble tea... Then head down to center point to look for the hat but too bad the shop closed already... So decided to chilli out at Coffee Bean... Guess what... We pasta and oreo cheese cake! Hehe... After that head for home...

Sunday
As usual, went to church in the morning... Super tired... After church went for lunch with my aunt and church members... After that head down to Chinatown with my pastor, aunt and Vivian... Coz I need their help in helping me get cloth... Feel so guilty that they have to run with me the whole of Chinatown to look for the hat... Appreciate it so much... But manage to find the hat but not black so decide to head down to Bugis to take a look... My aunt and pastor left after Chinatown... So Vivian and I head down to Bugis... To contiune to search... But the shop closed down already... By that time I was really drained already... I really feel so bad to make Vivian run with me everywhere... Lucky she was there to help me think of places or else I don't know what to do...

Decided to stop the search after walking from 2+ to 6+... Non-stop... Went to suntec for dinner.... Goodness gracious me!! I really can't stand myself... I took 1 hr to decide what I want to eat... But Vivian was very patient with me... Waiting for me to decide... So end up decide to eat Vietnam food... Had a fulling dinner... A big bowl of beef noodle and fries... it was kid's meal...

Meet up with Adeline for awhile... It's been a long time since i last saw her... Missed her so much... Hope she can go for my concert... Hope her shift would stay the same... Nurse = Irregular hour!

Monday

I missed my first lesson... RWPS!! I couldn't wake up! And I just realized that Friday is the percussion concert and I have RWPS presentation!! OH NO!! HOW!! Must go look for my teacher already... Went for FA tutorial with all the stuff I bought on Saturday and Sunday... School ended at 2+... Then meet up with Venassa and Jermaine to go around SB to promote our concert!! But hang on!! We went around the whole of SP!! To promote... And I was so tired and excited about the promoting... That when I saw my friend I shouted... I don't for what bloody hell reason why I did that... I just know that I have to push ticket sales... I don't give a damn about other think about me... Go ahead with your thinking!! It's not my concern!!

Had dinner at FC2... Ate lot too... But I everything is burn off already... Had sectionals... We did the combine stomp thingy... Finally we had completed the thing... Just have to practice more!! After the band prac... Mr Tan did Canon In D with us... Terrible man!!

I finshed studying for my test tomorrow... Tried to sleep but I can't get to sleep... I'm wide awake... I feel numb... I don't know whether I'm tired or worried... I feel like crying but tears just can't come out...

But this few days have been sad for me...

Why is it that I care?! And this is what I get in return... Is this what i get for my concern... I put in so much... But the more i put in... I get more disappointed and it's more tiring... I'm so sick and tired...

I shouldn't have put in so much in the first place.... I think I'm like a fool... I know I should give more than I receive... BUT I'M STILL A HUMAN!!!

I really hope this can be over soon... God please give me the strength to carry on...

Had sectionals with Mr Tan just now... He helped us in our percussion concert pieces... Weel not too bad... But I'm disappointed in something... Having a terrible headache now...

Going off to rest... Will be going out with some of the section people tml to buy costume! Hope we have ideas... God please give us inspiration!

I'm bored! Very bored... Woke up late today... Came to school at 1... I'm now doing my report for RWPS... It's on some bubble tea issue... Suddenly I remember Chris asking us to do a survey on this... Guess those data tally sheet are from them....

Can't believe I'm getting to work... Usually I'll slack for this lesson... But I'm doing my work now... Anyway the percussion will be having sectionals with Mr Tan... Hope it goes well...

*SoB*

I'm drained! I'm numb! School started at 9 and ended at 1... Well not a very long day... But had a terrible headache this morning... Lack of sleep... Thanx to Alicia's panadol... Or else my head would be bursting! I have been suffering from stomach upset since sunday... I don't know what happen... i just know that when I go to the toilet... It just comes out with it... Hope it would recover by tml...

Head for the band room after school... Coz we had rehearsal at the auditorium at 3... So practice my love songs... Lots to do... Muru helped me up with my "Overture"... Thanx muru! Even though I screwed up during the rehearsal...

Rehearsal ended at 6... So gotta to move the instruments back... Then head to FC4 for dinner with the section... Man! Joanne is really a big-eater! Probably we could ask her out the next time we go for buffet... hehe... A percussion girls' outing!! Purely girls!! Sound kind of cool... Gossiping! Bitching! Whatever we can talk! Girls! What else!

After dinner we practice the combine stomp and the drumline... up at FC5...
Kind of worried for the ticket sales... Doesn't seems good... I'm so worried that people would not enjoy our concert... There's so many things to be done...

Everybody was so tired... Rarely see the section so wearly before... guess everybody had a long day... Everybody is feeling uptight coz the concert is nearing... We have to work really hard! Like practice everyday... After that it's the IBM concert...

As for me, I'm drained! No! I'm numb!! Totally numb! I can't stop playing just now... The rythms just keep flashing through my mind... I really couldn't stop! On the way home, while bathing and even now!! And later when I go to sleep... i'll be tapping!! totally insane!

I'm feeling kind of lonely recently... Not that everybody is ignoring me... My family and friends are there... It's not that kind of loneliness.... it's the singlehood... Ah yes! It's the need for love... A need for relationship... Hoping for someone to appear... I don't know why I'm feeling this way... Probably it's becoz I'm tired and I need a hug... A warm hug... And someone to lean on... The feeling is overwhelming... It's taking over me... Probably it's just for a moment, it would soon be gone together with those tiring days...

Anyway I'm enjoying singlehood... I have my family and friends... And it's less commitment... Probably I have the gift of singlehood... Hope not!! Relationship = time consuming + hassle...

Anyway I'll just leave it to God for "Mr Right", while letting that feeling fade off itself... It would be gone soon.. for now! "Mr Right" is percussion concert!

Something eerie... I don't know how the hell my blog has music... Serious! I didn't change the template or do anything... Don't know why it's there... Nvm just leave it there...

Very tired... Having terrible headache... So sleepy... had sectionals just now... Came back quite late... I've been seeing my mum and dad last often... And I think she's worried about me coming home late... But I guess she understand... Coz she's never angry when I come home late... As in like 3am or so... All she does is just nag... YEAH MAN! My mum has lots of trust and confidence in me!! hehe...

I've been quite disappointed with some of my closet people... It's affecting me so much... Affecting the way I think etc... The worst thing about me is that once I change my opinion of someone... It's gonna be there forever... They are blacklisted... I don't want to blacklist them... Guess I got to take it easy...

I've been thinking of somethings that happen in the past... The things that I went through during my band days... I really hate myself sometimes! I hate myself for crying! When I think back... I think people are irritated by me... Probably I'm too sensitive... If they don't, I'll hate myself too! Why is it always that I'll only drop tears when I'm in band?!

If it's not meant to be yours, it would never be yours...

Finally understand this sentence... Went through it and know the pain behind it... Terrible feeling...

Something eerie... I don't know how the hell my blog has music... Serious! I didn't change the template or do anything... Don't know why it's there... Nvm just leave it there...

Very tired... Having terrible headache... So sleepy... had sectionals just now... Came back quite late... I've been seeing my mum and dad last often... And I think she's worried about me coming home late... But I guess she understand... Coz she's never angry when I come home late... As in like 3am or so... All she does is just nag... YEAH MAN! My mum has lots of trust and confidence in me!! hehe...

I've been quite disappointed with some of my closet people... It's affecting me so much... Affecting the way I think etc... The worst thing about me is that once I change my opinion of someone... It's gonna be there forever... They are blacklisted... I don't want to blacklist them... Guess I got to take it easy...

I've been thinking of somethings that happen in the past... The things that I went through during my band days... I really hate myself sometimes! I hate myself for crying! When I think back... I think people are irritated by me... Probably I'm too sensitive... If they don't, I'll hate myself too! Why is it always that I'll only drop tears when I'm in band?!

If it's not meant to be yours, it would never be yours...

Finally understand this sentence... Went through it and know the pain behind it... Terrible feeling...

Screwed! Totally screwed!! Our presentation was like shit! totally...

We made abit of mistake... Well the whole class was like that... He would even comment on the slightest mistake then one can ever spot... But well that is his job... True enough! Sarcastic remarks are definitely there... But he did try to help us so that we won't fail... Anyway it's ok... I'm feeling like shit now... I don't know why...

This few days my mind can't seems to be organised... Plus the talk I had with Alan last night... About the percussin concert... We are so not ready... But what can we do now... It's too late... We just have to practice everyday...

Problem is that I've got to go for tuition today at 5.30pm but I have sectionals at 6pm... And I know I can't missed it... But my student's chinese CA is tml... I'm not sure if she can study herself or not... I know the concert is coming but my student's CA is as important to me... I don't know what to do... Guess I'll msg her later and see how it goes... Probably a telephone tuition...

haiz.... My mood is totally down...

Anyway I did a personality test... I'm a blue monkey...


You are Blue Monkey, who has pretty smile and are charming woman. Your personality is very straightforward and conscientious. Although you seem rather nervous, you are naturally strong and can not stand to lose. You are a honest person with guts. Your facial features are handsome and you are a smart dresser with urban sense. You are also a curious person.You are a hard worker, and you put your energy not only in work but also in your personal interests. There are many Blue Monkey people who have mastered an art that would result in practical benefits. You can show womanly consideration to those around you, and even if you are not feeling well, you can commit your self in making happy atmosphere.Although you try to act cheerfully, you tend to be rather lonely mentally. Unlike your outer characteristic, you tend to submit to lonely circumstances.You are not very good at expressing your feelings, and may give false idea to those around you. You should know that without trying to make your self understood, you won't to get the cooperation and help of the others.You will be able to lead life free from pressure, if you can keep a relationship with those people bonded by heart. Your intelligence and creativity makes you suited to jobs relating to art and design.Once married and you have children of your own, you will become good mother and wife.

My Sunday seems ruined! Totally! But not exactly!

First my student said that my hair was ugly, I looked old... OUCH!! Totally ouch!

Then my mum told me my white t-shirt got stained... Coz she hanged it with the stupid NDOC red colour polo T... What the hack... She said that the colour is coming off... Not to sure about that coz I've not seen it...

There's this sour and bitter feeling in me... Making me feel like crying... My jaws feels numb... And I'm feeling paranoid at the same time... There's so many things in my head... My mock presentation next tuesday... And my freaking teacher is a sarcastic idiot... Everything that comes out from his mouth is sarcasm...

I'm so afraid that on the day... He will just shoot me with something that I don't know how to answer... Then he will start to throw sarcastic remarks...

My test results... The concert... my playing... And me making a mockery out of myself... I don't know... there's so many things in my mind... It's so messy... How i wish I can organise it... Like an organiser...

The concert is getting near... And I'm feeling more and more uptight!

Well at least there's something good for today... With my mum around... Guess what my hair cut + highlight + treatment was $195! Yes!! It's not typo error!

My mum was asking me how much I highlight my hair since yesterday night... And I refuses to tell her... Then she made a guess that it was $30... Nah my mum is not that stupid she knew that it cost a bomb... That;'s why she kept asking me the price even till this evening... She came into my room just now and say she pay $15 for me since my hair cut is $30... She's smart man! She took out a $100 note... Can't deny my mum really knows me very well! She knew it! She must have knew it!! So sly!

She lured me to tell the truth... I pulled her and she ran away laughing.... So i ended up telling her the price and she gave that $100... And my dad came into the room... And he was laughing...

At least this is not that bad... I love my mum man!! Of coz not just becoz of that!

Mami!! I love ya!!!

Sorry guys... Always seeing the same old thing... Have been very busy recently... Too tired to blog already... One week has just passed like that! SO FAST!!

Monday
Nothing much... Just school and then band...

Tuesday
Was a terrible and tiring day... It was the graduation performance day... We had 3 sessions from morning till evening... Even though we have long breaks in between... It's the humidity and the perspiriation that is making us weary... Finally the thing ended at 7+... Carried instruments back to the band room... Then slack for awhile... Then cut the percussion concert tickets! From 8+ to 10... Couldn't finish cutting it... So some of us brought it home to cut... Ohya Lj was there too... So went to have dinner at Clementi Mac... LJ and gf, Jia hui & Dennis, Muru, Alan, Joelly and me... Reached home about 11+... Then bath then contiune to cut tickets.... Man! I cut till 4am... God I was really half dead when I finished...

Wednesday
Supposed to reached school at 8am to chop the tickets... Then passed it to Alan at 9 then go for lesson... But I couldn't wake up... I was too sleepy to get off my bed! Waited for Alan's call at home but he never call so I thought he didn't go to school too... But he went... Don't know why too... Nvm contiune with my beauty sleep til 12 then wake up and chop the tickets before meeting Zai, Venassa and jermaine for sushi...

Luckily Alan and Muru didn't go... Or else they were be horrify by the way we eat... We seriously couldn't walk after eating... And Venassa looks as if she's pregnant! haha... Then after that went back to school for sectionals... Venassa, jermaine and me were stoning while doing the storm thingy! Our minds were totally shut off!! So we went to washed our face...

Sian... IBM camp coming... It's on the day of our percussin concert... BUT thanx to Mr Tan... He said the camp shall start with everyone going for our concert!!! HEHE... HURRAY!!!

Thursday
Supposed to practice Samba Classico but don't know why end up only get to practice 30 mins... Haiya... don't want to say... Have this feeling that we were end up not perforning Samba Classico... Ohya... We did the ticketing... there goes the time...

Friday
Had sectionals with Mr Tan... Man terrible! I felt so terrible! He did "Overture for Percussion ensemble" with us... My tears was already coming out when he was correcting me... Tried to hold back my tears for so many times... But it kept coming back... Manage to hold it till the end of sectionals... But when we were on our way home... I couldn't hold it anymore... I stopped at the bridge and broke down... Luckily Jermaine asked me to go off....

Took a cab home... I really poured out to her when we were at the taxi stand... Luckily she was there... Or else I might just wander off everywhere...

Went home finished up the last 3 pages of my BLAW then went to sleep with lots of worries in me...

Saturday
Took my BLAW test... Well not that bad... hope I can passed! Just pray for the best... Went for sectionals after that... Missed out on 3 pieces... Got to buck up... Felt better... Was rather sad when we did the storm thing... Coz of a sentence... Thanx Venassa and Jermaine for helping me in the new rythm...

Finished sectionals at abt 2... Then went for lunch at clementi with Zai, Venassa and Jermaine... Then went for my haircut... Cut my hair short and highlight it... super gold or brown... can't take it man! was super shocked... The price was more shocking!! Nah... don't talk about it...

OHYA!! Finally went for movie!! Finally after ages!! Went to watch "The Notebook" with jermaine... We were sitting at the first row!! But luckily we went! The show was not bad... All the show that we wanted to watch were all selling fast or sold out! But well the show was not bad...

Sunday
Went to church in the morning... Had a meeting on the September and Christmas event... Went to give tuition... I'm so sad! My student say that my hair is ugly and I looked old! I felt so hurt! Then came home to asked my sister, Meichan... What she think of my hair... How contradicting! When I asked her yesterday, how was my hair... She said ok, just not used to my hair colour and hair style...

When I asked her just now, how she think? She said ok... That was the first time... The second time I asked her... If the hair style suits me or not... She say it doesn't suit and the colour too gold!! What the hack! Ain't my closet people supposed to tell me the truth... why is it like that?! why?! I'm really disappointed lor... Feel like crying now...

Just hope that tomorrow people won't start laughing at my hair...

Off to do my tutorial...

Took my FA CA today... My confidence level is so low!!! The fear in my heart is there... I not only have to pass... I have to score well! Very well! Or else my aunt will start nagging at me... It's true... I talked to her on the phone just now while I was in the train... i told her I took my FA CA and I was scared... Guess what she say... "Aiyo, you always like that study. how to passed!" WHY?! Why is it always like that!!!!! Why?! It's as if that I didn't study... she think I did not put in effort to study hard... But... Why?! Why can't she see the point that I have no confidence?! WHY?!!!!! why... ARGH!!! My mood just change within one night~! Plus the gastric juice working up! The awful dinner!

And I think I should tame down... It's time for me to quiet down... I think I'm too noisy... Probably I talked too much... Make too much noise...

Hope tml would be a better day for me...

After school, went to the band room to get the poster and ticket design for Ms Hope... But when I went to SAA, She's not there so went back to the band room....

Stayed there to practice for abt 2 hrs... Waiting for Alan to come to go see Ms Hope together... But it was horrible when we see her... Can't believe she actually can tell us... Don't whether she should invite people or help publicise for us... Just becoz of that NDOC performance!! Hello! We only manage to practice on tuesday evening and wednesday morning... While the actual performance is on wednesday afternoon... What can you get Ms Hope!! Alan and I was like telling her that we have practice for this concert for abt 2 mths and for that performance 2 days... She still give that kind of reaction... Can't be bother... Main motive now is to get the concert done! And of coz with good results!

After seeing Ms Hope went to have dinner with Alan and some of the freshies... Was waiting for Jermaine to go home but end up she not going home... So I went home to change first then go meet them to watch concert... It 's by Kasetart University Wind Symphony... They are from Thailand... They are really good man! They sound good! played well.... what else... I don't know...

But fot the first half I was struggling to keep awake... Coz I was very tired and the pieces they played was quite slow... Well I managed to keep myself awake... The second half was better... But sad that they didn't prepare encore piece... But the Trombone players did played a song called "Jambalaya"... Good! Nice song! Like that song alot!

After concert, went to Lau Pa Sat with some of the band members to have dinner... Bet all of them are starving... Joelly, Xue Chun, Yiting and me share our food... Then took a cab home...

I'm dead beat now... But I'm too tired to know what's tired already... In fact, I don't feel sleepy but my body is tired...

Guess I'm taking things easier now... Since they don't appreciate what I do for them... I don't see why I should contiune... Or drop tears becoz of them... Or drop tears when I say I'm getting to hate them... Seriously I'm getting more and more emotionless towards them already... It's as if there's no more feelings there...

Haiz... don't talk about such unhappy things now... Just had a wonderful time just now... hehe... Had a great talk with him... hehe....

Off to sleep already... Nitez!

School starts at 9... And I can't wake up! I woke up at 8... So you guys know how I came to school...

BFI lesson ain't that good... She was quite unhappy that we were chit-chatting away while we were supposed to do our tutorial... I was not guilty when she scolded us coz our group really did our work... We really did spend the time doing research online when the time was given to us... Guess what kept us going?! All thanx to you, Alan!

Alan thanx to your blog's song... Suddenly all of us were searching for information online... Thanx man! But in the end we still couldn't find anything much... But manage to do abit...

I'm having ECM tutorial now... Quite sian... Lesson end at 1 then got to go see Ms Hope to show her our percussion concert poster and ticket design... And also to get the excuse letter for last week NDOC performance...

I was reading through Venassa's and Alan's blog... And I found out that I missed out alot... I've not been reading their blog... Sorry guys!

Venassa, You know what! There are many more guys out there... Who are not like him... Or maybe like him who might be your prince charming... Probably he's just not the one... Sometimes it's just like that... When you don't know him... You felt that he wa the most wonderful guy ever! And when you get his email or no. you are over the moon... But when you get to know him, he becomes you nightmare... And you wish that you have never gotten his number... What to do! Life goes on!

And ya you are right! You got a life to live on! And don't forget! You've got us!! Jermaine is my girlfriend and you are my sweet heart! Remember?! Or are you my lover? argh... it's the same anyway... Hope to see you more often coz I missed you!

Alan I know this is late... But coz I really missed out alot on the pervious few entries... It's only when I clicked on the archives and read thru then I realized... Just wanna tell you that life isn't always smooth... Here's sth for you... LIFE has it's ups and downs. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes the rain pours. BUT DON'T FORGET! It takes both sun and rain to make a RAINBOW! Remember that!

Just wanna tell you that, you are a very caring and helpful person... Thoughtful, humourous, considerate, good SL and lamer... opps... hehe...

In fact, the percussion section guys are the most caring guys among my guy friends... From Lj to you to Chris to Bernard to Muru...

You know sometimes things just ain't going our way... I definitely have times that did not go well... Remember my jay-walking incident! Bet you remember! Forever! How many times were you jay-walk before you get caught?! Probably never in your whole life! You bet I have spilled my bowl of noodles, soup or cup of drink like thousands of times... I was even stupid enough to use my fingers to touch the hot iron without feeling the heat immediately... when I was young... And ya I'm forever getting bruises everywhere... and the best part is that I don't know how i got them...

So you are not the only one! Cheer up! There are many others with you!

Ohya Thanx for the praise! About me playing soccer! What do you not know?! Of coz I'm good... "P

Joking...

Probably we could organise an outing to play soccer... Maybe all of them might come! hehe... Not a bad idea? What do you think?! Comments?!

I'm doing research on my ECM project now... And we have to discuss online... Probably post some questions or website on... My group is doing personal finance... Still searching for it!! HELP!!!!

Haiz... Have not been blogging this few days... Coz I've been very tired... Really tired.. Let's see the last time I blog was friday night...

Saturday

Supposed to wake up at 8+ to go to church but was late... End up reach there at 10... Sing practice supposed to be at 9 but end up Vivian and I were late... So start late... Poor Andy! Got to wait for us for 1 hr... Sorry Andy!
After song prac, took a cab down to SP for sectionals... I'm was like half dead already...Couldn't do or think about anything... I only ate 2 small panckaes... And it last me for 9hr plus... Almost fainted while having sectionals...

But I'm glad that we came out something for the stomp already!! hehe... Sounds good! Even though I didn't manage to play the love song medley but I guess it's good... All thanx to Charlton! hehe...

Ohya... We had spring cleaning on that day too... The band room is neat and tidy now!! Hurray!! And It's more spacious at the percussion side! Goody good!

After that went for SWS percussion concert... We were late... All thanx to Alan!! Last minute need to SHIT~! Missed the "overture for percussion ensemble"! So sad... If you asked me what I think of the concert... I would say that it's too jazzy... Way to jazzy... I almost fell asleep probably it's because I'm too tired... Well! We had a friend who fell asleep... hehe... :x

But the mallets player lack of energy level... So abit dead... After that we went for dinner at Holland V... That's all for saturday!!

Sunday

As usual... It's a church day for me... Never will I missed! hehe... Service starts at 10.30... And Andy was late!! Very late! He woke up at 10.15! Must be surf too much already that's y... I was so scared when we started without him... What if he didn't reached when i needed to play... I will be playing the keyboard alone!! And singing at the same time... But thank God he came on time... And we got back the guitat and keyboard working together again!!! hehe...

After church, went for lunch and then after that came home... Wanted to study but too tired... so took a rest... But I can't seem to study... I'm really so tired... And plus it's the time of the month... Makes it worse... But still manage to study Chapter 1 and half of chapter 2.... Then after that went to bed... Was looking forward to the percussion outing on monday...

Monday

Finally, MONDAY HAS COME!! Was so looking forward to the outing... Woke up about 12+ then study for awhile coz I've got a test on tuesday... Supposed to meet the them at 4 but I was late... I reached at 4.30... Sometimes shit just happen... Attendance was quite bad... Only Vanessa, Alan, Muru, Charlton and me turned up... But nevertheless we still enjoy... When I finally met them, told Vanessa something that make me cry... I really did cry... Tears came out... But lucky Alan said "Hi"... i quickly hold it back...

And everything went fine for the day... We went to Pizza Hut for dinner... Ate alot... After that had ice-cream and drank bubble tea... We were strolling around orchard when we finally decided to go play pool... haha... pool again! I'm an expert at it man!! hehe... ya! "expert"... right alan?!

We were watching "Singapore Idol" there... Super funny sia!! Some of the contestants really make a fool of themselves... Especially the Lemom tree guy... haha...

After that went home... Study for BFI...

Tuesday! It's today!

Had my test today... Doubt I can passed... If I really passd my test, I'll be laughing or maybe crying... Everybody is asking me why I'm dressed up... People listen up! It's becoz of a lame reason... IT's becoz of my module EPI... My teacher wanted to see the way we walk and sit down... So she made us wear skirts and heels... And what did I get at the end of the day... Blister on my legs... Of coz I did learn something... So sian... My legs are aching now...

Feel like studying for my FA test on friday... But too tired... but tml I'll be going for a concert... Better study abit later... and tml... don't like last min work...

Countdown to "De Avanganda Percussian 1"
24 days

Countdown to IBM
38 days

I'm feeling kind of weird... Very weird... Somethinh is making me think!
THINKING Thinking Thinking Thinking thinking....

I'm so sleepy... I feel as if I'm floating in the air... Feeling so drowsy... I'm not having enough sleep and I'm aching all over due to the moving of the percussion instruments on wednesday for the NDOC performance... Thru and forth 4 times...

Had sectionals with Mr Tan yesterday... Only the percussionists... we did two pieces... "My Merry Widow" and "Miss Saigon".... ohya and abit of "October"... I hope they take out "October"...

"Miss Saigon" was still alright... Lucky I'm not playing for this piece or else I'll go deaf in about a few more band pracs... It's fff... And Mr Tan is right!! I'm always afraid to play the gong... It not only hurt my ears but it affects everyone standing near the gong... Especially the mallet players... I'm so sorry guys!! Especially Venassa! She's the first victim!! hehe... And I played like 10 over times... Coz Mr Tan find that It's too soft...

"My Merry widow" was terrible... I screwed up my marimba part!! Totally... I've lots of bar of running notes... And I missed lots of them!! Or rather all of them!! Need lots of practice... IBM is like 42 days time... And there's the percussion ensemble concert... it's in 28 days!! It's in a month time!!! God!!

Finish school at 5 today... Wanted to go to holland v to eat dinner but end up I changed it to Bukit Merah Mac... EEEeeee........ Been eating fast food... so sian...

Then went to watch the play "Army Daze" at Henderson sec... Well, it's not bad but I think there's lots of things to improve on... And I really can't stand the students... They were screaming and shouting!! And trying to be cold... Now I know how irritating I used to be last time... And I was having a terrible headache (due to lack of sleep!)... will tell you why later... Those screaming just makes it worse...

And the second half of the play was like forever... Can't wait for it to end....

Finally it ended... Marilyn and I immediately went off...

Called Alan they all to see if they were still having sectionals or whether they wanna go makan... But they don't want so I came home...

Ohya!! My head is hurting!! It's killing me man!! Tell you why... I didn't go for my BLAW tutorial yesterday... So when I went for lecture, my friend told me that I have to submit the tutorial today... It's a must.. Coz Ms Pat is angry... So I took her word and I did it... I had sectionals and I went for supper with edmund,Muru and Alan... When I reached home is about 11.30... And I did my tutorial till 4 am!! I seriously did it... And I overslept this morning... Lesson was at 10.. i woke up at 9.30... Rushed to school...

Then I went to look for Ms Pat asking her if I could hand up my work on sat... She said it's ok... It's not compulsory!! I was like!!! What the hack!!! Hello! No one told me that!! They said it's a must!! I felt kind of cheated and angry at the same time... Haiz... anyway it's over... So I just submit what I've done...

*oUcH*!!!!!!!!!!!!! my head hurts!!

Sian... Tml I 'll be busy for the whole day... Got song prac in church at 9 am... Then after that rush down for sectionals at 10.30 to 2.30... Then After that give tuition at 4.30... Then got a concert in the evening... Haiz...

Got a test on tuesday... Better start studying now... So that I can go out with the percussion section on monday!!! YEAH~! I'm looking forward to it!!! I hope no one back out the last min...

What Shall I plan?

Hmm...... Meet 3.30pm at Somerset Mrt... Then probably go shop awhile first then go for dinner at centrepoint Pizza hut... Then probably we could go see fire works!!! hehe.... Pure percussion outing!! YEAH!!

Okie off to bath liaoz... Got to study later.... Sian-ed...

Today was the NDOC performance... It was really terrible... I felt that we really tarnish the reputation of SP percussion...

We only started practicing yesterday... And this morning... We were excused from 9 onwards... And we took this time to practice... And no matter how I practice I just can't get it right... I was so dishearted! Very! Tears ere in my eyes... My nose was getting red... I tried very hard to fight back the tears that was coming out of my eyes... I just hope that it didn't come out... Thank God it didn't!! I even wanted to gave my part to muru... or like runaway... But that's irresponsible...

And when the real thing came... We screwed up... i got lost!! Totally lost! I didn't know where I was and I started to anyhow whack softly... Only the ending part was together and good... Ms Hope is very disappointed... It's all written on her face... I feel like shit man!

After that we went back to the band room... All of us were tired... But I guess upset was more than the tireness in us... Well, it's over! What to do! LIFE GOES ON! (Jermaine's favourite line)

After that went to Holland V's Thai Express to have dinner with Alan, Muru, Zai, Jermaine and Joanne... Well we had a good dinner... Everything went back to normal... All of us were laughing and joking around...

After dinner, Alan, muru, Zai and me went to BREKO to chilli out... well, had some serious talk... But I guess it's good thing... At least we know what each of us are thinking... And everything is clear in front of us... Even though the atmosphere was abit still but the food and drinks makes it better... We had photo wedges and Oreo Cheese cake!!! My god it taste so nice!! I just love cheese cakes!!! YUMMY! Alan and zai had alcohol, muru had caramel twister... it's coffee... And I had Passionfruit tea... It's not bad... Quite nice... Well so long as it's fruit tea it tastes nice to me...

Got to go sleep liaoz... I'm so sleepy... My head is spinning...

Sorry guys... Have not been blogging recently... Coz I'm very tired after I reached home... My eyes just can't fall in front of the computer... I would feel giddy after that....

The whole of last week was terrible... My schedule was really killing me... I hadn't have enough rest...

Monday school was from 11-3... Then had band prac at 6.30pm... Can't remember what I did in between... Ohya... I went to work out with Zai... Did some prac before that and studying...

Tuesday- school was from 11-5... Thank God! My MA lecturer had to go for a course or else school will start at 9... Then due to the string's performance on thursday, we had to rehearse on wednesday... Band prac was brought forward to tuesday...

Wednesday school was abit better... Had lessons at 9 but lesson at 11 was cancelled... So that calls it a day for school... Went to Jurong point to get "school of rock"... Did abit of shopping with my friends... Bought a really big pencil box... Wait till u see it... It's really big... And it's cheap... Is 2 for $5... Head back to school to pack the percussion "cupboard"... the scores was in a mess... Everything was in a mess... Couldn't stand it so decided to pack... Thank God Muru, Alan, Bernard and Joelly were there to help... Managed to pack the stuff in abt an hour... It looks neater now... And I feel as if a burden is off my shoulder...

Had rehearsal with the stirngs... My god they are terrible!!! So dis-organised! There are 10 over people on the string to help set up and they took like more than an hour!!! We waited from 3+ till 6... But lucky they did "Carmen Suite" first... Or else we have to wait till 9+...

Thursday... A BLAW DAY!! Had 5 hours of BLAW... 11-2(tutorial), 3-5(lecture)... Heavy!! By the time it was 3.30, I can't take it anymore... We actually have excuse letter from 12pm but decided not to use it... Coz I think it's useless... Going there early is just a waste of time only... They will still delay the time... And true enough... When I was there at 5, they got nothing done... I'm so glad I didn't skip lessons... Was the actual peformance day... I'm so glad everything is over... But I was quite angry... Let's not talk abt it... It's over anyway...

Friday... School was 9-5... long day... Nothing much happen I guess... Can't remember... After school went home for dinner and rest awhile before going to teach... from 9-10.30...

By the time Saturday come, I was already very weary... I was exhausted... I've been waking up 8+,9+ practically everyday... And my body doesn't seems to be getting enough rest... I don't why I didn't fall... Guess God gave me the strength to carry on and that's why I'm still kicking a life now... Just when I was feeling restless and breatheless... This came to me... Really at the right time..."He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." I think it really gives me the answer... After my mood was better... I'm became to be very tired and busy... But yet I'm happy... And I still can go on...


Had sectionals from 10.30 to ard 2.30... We manage to practice "Overture for Percussion ensemble", "Canon in D", "Whole Tone Fanatasy" and we did the rythm for the drumline... It was written by Raf...

Then after that I went to church for lessons... 4-6... How am I going to concentrate? Was the questions in my mind... But surprisingly... I managed to... I was so high that I was joking and laughing my heads off... guess it's becoz I'm too tired to be tired anymore... get me?

After that stayed in church to practice songs and played on the keyboard... I need more practice... Going to sign back for keyboard lessons again... Met my sister, Meiying for dinner... We went Swenses again!! And she pay again! Lina was there too... I played a joke on them that really scared them... They got really freaked out! And they chose not to believe me... I told them that I was not my parents' biological daughter... It was so funny to see the expressions on their face... They beg me to not joke with them... hehe... Take it easy man!

Ohya... In order for our food to digest... We decided to walk home from Chinatown... I know that sounds crazy... But that sth more crazy... While walking home... We went past this pub that was having bbq outside... it's just beside the road... All of us were like why are they bbq-ing here? And Lina just said happy birthday... The guy heard it and he asked us whether we want some food... We told him we didn't want it... And he kept pestering us... So we walked faster! But you know what!!! He started chasing after us with the food and ask us to help him!! He's totally out of his mind!!! Of coz we run away and shouted to him that we don't want... Guess he saw how relunctant we were... that's y he gave up... In the end we still took a cab home....

Sunday
As usual I went to church... I'm so happy... I met up with marilyn!! So happy to see her... Supposed to study but end up we went to K-ster... hehe... That stupid girl... Take so many photos of both of us... Then not satisfied with every shoots...