I finish at around 9 again. Gosh i'm feeling so tired. Need some time to relax.

Planning for sat's outing. Hope the turn up is good!

Can't think of what to blog. Just plain tired.

ciaoz!

Basically weekend was... nothing much. To be exact. Wasted.

Didn't mange to spend much time with the bf for his weekend book out. Probably less than 12 hours for the 2 days.

But we manage to make it for breakfast on saturday morning. Mac's breakfast. It's been a long time since we woke up early and catch the morning sun. The smell of the fresh air and freedom. It's different as the ones on weekdays. You know what I mean. Anyways we headed to Daiso to get some stuff and it was time to head home to change. I had to go back to office. yea... Had to do some system testing for the Dubai market.

Totally wasted. I was there from 2-8pm. I could have done lots of things with 6 hours. Anyhow I rushed for the bf's friend's grandma's birthday celebration right after that. Nothing interesting happen. Headed over to his place with his parents while he had his night out with Clintson. Men's talk. They need it sometimes.

Resting day it's what I would call Sunday. Was lazing at his house after church and waited for dinner to come before sending him back to camp. Again. The part I always hated. And he's ever so sweet. Your sweets help to survive me through a stressful day at work. Thank you!

Nothing much. Work just felt like that today. Seriously!

Sleepy. Turning in soon. Ciaoz.

What's going on?

I got a little too emotional just now.

Don't know why. Anger was overtaking my senses. And then I started crying to let it all out. I raised my voice at him but he was still talking to me in the most gentle voice. I felt bad but am glad that I manage to control it there.

We had a good talk, though it was just 15mins or so. But it's just so precious. I miss the bf. When I need a hug from him so badly and I know he wants to give me that hug too. It's comforting enough. Weekdays are hard to go by, friday is what I'm looking forward to every week.

And work is missing the satisfaction part. I don't know where I'm heading to. After much thought, I've given myself a dateline. It's still long but I have yet to settle some things. Now it's not the right time.

I was talking to Wan Chien this afternoon. I was telling her, we're the minorities that bear with the unhappiness of our job for our age. People our age would have just quit and not think so much. Only those in their 40s will think twice. We are complaining and grumbling everyday. We talk abt taking that leap of faith. BUT! We are still where we are!

Zonked

Beautiful and joyous friday is here to say hello!!

What a week it has been for me. Working till almost 10 everyday and came in 30mins earlier to try and do some stuff. But couldn't manage to. Crazy week with lots of problems. My overlook to a certain payment has cause some disagreement. Should have been more careful while checking inputter's work. But my confidence for her got the better of me. And trouble is here knocking on the door. Make phone calls from melbourne to Wellington to HK, it's insane due to the time difference trying to catch hold of the people there before they knock off.

Anyways it's over. A mistake done is a lesson learn for life! Move on. Life goes on. The earth is still moving.

Totally zonked out. Each day pass and I'm just so tired. But everything is cleared. A better week will come!

The sleeping bug seems to be in the office today. I thought I was the only one but turn out few of my other colleagues felt the same too. I guess it's the weather. Rainy days... and mondays always gets me down. Sorry can't help it. Carpenters. Lovely!

So it's 8pm and am still in the office. Well waiting for the bf to call so that we can head out for a sinful meal together! Mac! and "G-force" with Alex and Vony!

Peeps! Have a great evening ahead! Mind is gonna blank out soon! Ciaoz!

Chilling weather. Rainy season. Making me lazy and sleepy.

It makes working tougher. Especially when there's just so much to do and lots of patience and tolerance to some colleagues while working. Worked till 10 last night and headed to office early this morning.

Made a mistake at work, trying to get the case solve. It feels kind of crappy. Helpless. Somehow it's solved but it's not. It's weighing on me.

There's something I've been thinking the past few days. Since I've finish my degree, I should feel like a burden off the shoulder. But somehow I still feel like a stone on me. The feeling that I had when I was struggling to go through every assignment and paper. Is it time for a break?

It's been a long day at work. Totally consumed. Feeling crossed at the same time.

I felt my head busting with what seem to be many enquiries but the fact that there's only one burdensome and demanding case. Lots of phone call from HK asking me this and that. I felt the pressure. I felt like an octopus. But a handicapped one. And I allow myself for a slice of chocolate for the day. Usuall it happens 2-3 days for a slice of chocolate. But I had more than that which didn't really help. Probably I was too stressed and pissed off.

Strangely at one point of time, when chocolate has lost it's effect, sub-consciously I was craving for something else and it kept playing in my head. A fag.

yea a fag. It just came to me. Sounds funny coming from me? I think so too. 'Cause I can't stop wondering why. I start to think of those guys which I see in the every morning or lunchtime or even after work, standing downstairs the office building chatting and smoking away. SO! That's when the smoking habit starts to kick in for most smokers. The first time you probably accompany them for the after lunch "dessert" and that time you still wonder why they smoke. De-stress they would say. The second time you thought of what they say and try it out for fun. Your first puff and you start coughing away. Third time you got the hang of it and might as well be a social smoker. Before you even know it, it has become a habit. An excuse to de-stress the unhealthy way.

With that thought, I laugh it away and thought of heading to the gym for a 1-hr sweat it all out cardio session. But I didn't have the proper footwear and ended late.

Now I'm lying comfortable on the bed, waiting to call it a day. Need some good rest. Waiting for the bf to book out and welcome him back to the life for the next days before booking into camp again.

Ciaoz peeps! Gd night!

Damn! am still in the office at this hour.

This whole legal separation thing is driving me nuts. There are so many things that can't be done and yet have to be done. Once the special request is granted and we're able to access it again. It's hell 'cause I've stuff that are not cleared in the system since last friday. Goodness I don't even dare to think about it.

It's friday tml. Hope it's a better day!

Cheers!

Long lost friends!

Haaa... it's a disaster in the office now. Coz of the migration of system. The legal separation between 2 banks that used to be under the same family.

But I've found my long lost friends! Thanks to the separation! Ailing and I are ecstatic!

It was the first thing Ailing tried accessing ytd when we came back for the testing since it was last banned! Immediately she msg me the good news! Finally! Contact to the outside world through MSN! =D

movie night

Just got back from movie with the bf. Watched G.I.Joe. It's been a long time since I went for movies. And after so long, it was a show worthwhile! If you have not catch it, you should!

If you're looking for...

action packed,you have it.
a little humor,you have it.
hot babes? I only saw 2 ladies in the show.
hot and sizzling bodies?! oh yea! there's a few in there. though not as many compared to "300".

It's sure a movie of the good triumph over the evil. I would give a 3.5 out of 5. hmmm... maybe 4. It can't be that perfect. Just that I felt it's worth my $10.50.

Anyhow it's bedtime! Hope I'll be able to wake up for some work-out after those cheesy nachos! =)

Night peeps! ciaoz!

crappy goodbye msg

I was clearing my office mail in preparation for the migration from lotus notes to microsoft outlook and I came across this mail which one of my ex-colleague, Hannah sent back in 07. Here it goes...

IF YOU CANT SEE,YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT?iF YOU DON'T,DONT ASK ME
Hey gal & gay,
Thank you so much for lunch & card!!!!!!!!!!i'm so touched!Almost into tears & knee...erm.... I mean tears...almost wet my ......also

Kinda of worried about Joc...AliSia,pls take care of her..& guys pls...be patient LIKE me,who always extend LOVE & PATIENT to people,ESPECIALLY to the NEEDY..Although at times s,O I mean ALL the times she is late but I know she don't really mean it.Right Joc?

Ligen,too bad I just get to know that you are a gay.You know I have so much "trick" to give you.Hence,we can always talk about it.I can't sms to you bcos you never give me you HP no!Even though I did asked,Weisan can be the witness.

Weisan,PLS,even thougth take it as I am begging you.DON"T FAINT ANYHOW.Why choose when people wants to chill out?Only chill out what...not that they are going for ROM.Remember,if you ever want to do it again,my hp is always OFF.yes,you did read correctly -OFF

Carlene,I don't know what to say about you bcos the look at you,always make one SPITLESS.
AliSia,continue to burning,I can see something coming out.....keep it out.

LiangDe,I always want to tell you this but I don't have the guts to do it...but after today,I realize you are a nice lady...so...UR NAME HOR..SOUND LIKE MAN's name.

ok ok .I don't want to say goodbye,we will still meet & MAKE SURE WE WILL!!!!!!! I really hate to leave here but I have no choice!

cheers!

Can't help but laugh. The meaniest goodbye msg from a ever irritating person. But always the person I can look for if every situation. Talking about that... I haven met her for a long long time.
Guess it's time since am already done with my studies!

Anyways! TGIF!

Nightmare

Think I had too much of Tess Gerritsen's books.

I had a nightmare last night. Dreamt that I was almost killed by someone.

More of like... gonna be be gruesomely killed. And woke up in a shock.

Thank God I woke up, if it continues... think I might just scream and wake his sister up. maybe the whole family.

Just finished work. Heading to gym! =)

Say goodbye to bluey tuesday!

It's 10.50pm now. But it feels later. Feels like a sunday though. A long weekend but I didn't really enjoy much. Time just past like that.

Friday: prayer meeting after work. And dinner was settled with crispy noodle.
Sat: Church,tuition and steamboat at night.
Sun: Church, his uncle's place for dinner and Daiso at IMM. Just love Daiso so much. It has practically everything. I never let my trip go wasted each time I'm there.

As for today, did nothing much. I was quite upset about that. We had a quarrel. It always happen before he book in and regrets would always fill me.His effort to humor me will always be reciprocate with my coldness. Feeling bad, I'll try to be the understanding gf again and not let the temporary separation leaving both of us feeling upset.

Anyways we bid goodbye unwillingly. As our gaze met, I just knew what we wanted but you were in your uniform. And each time it's replaced with a tap on my shoulder. For a hug.

Suddenly it seems like a long week for myself and once again the feeling of dragging myself to work is back.

I was dreaming again just now... it was a beautiful scene played in my head and I could feel the happiness.

1hr and 18mins ago, Singapore just celebrated it's 44th birthday. A nation wide celebration. Celebration for her success. Her recognition over the world.

44 years may not seem that long. But for a small country like us, a little dot on the world map, it didn't came easy and it was the hard work of the pioneer leaders that we are leaving in comfort today.

From little to many.
From seas and grass to land filled with many skyscrapers.
A once dirty river and land which has now turn to a clean country and amazingly acknowledged worldwide.
A place for the youth olympic games.
From nothing to something and even being one of the top centres of finance.
And what's more? With the integrated resort coming up what would Singapore turn to become.

It's been 44 blessed years for Singapore. Blessed with good leaders and their foresight. Blessed with harmony among races. And the riches and prosperity it was given.

Now the time has past and life is once again resume after the joyous celebration. And now we'll all have work towards a better 45 years.

12:34pm is arriving. And if you guys have already rec'd sms or email from friends, you would know what i'm talking abt. if not...

Do u know?

At 12hr 34 minutes 56 seconds on 7th august this year, the time and date will be

12:34:56 07/08/09

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 this will never happen in your life again!

Amaze your friends, be the first to tell them!

Anyways I would email some of my friends at work everyday. Just in case work gets abit crazy.

oh when I was typing this I rec'd another email. The chinese version from my friend in hk.

今天12点34分56秒是一个神奇的时刻, 它显示为12:34:56 07/08/09. 123456789在我们的有生之年再也不会出现 , 祝您一切顺利,身体健康 ,工作愉快^^

Back to sending emails during working hours.. and yea... Ligen happens to be one of them.

and here goes our conversation. we were talking about how busy I am and we were deciding for a date to head down wala.

Me:
hahha... tat's y my friends are always scolding me.
need to pre-book in advance... how abt make it on the 22/08. 15/08 i can't...

LG:
yah, maybe i should start scolding you as well. haha.
and you know whats the most irritating thing.
there was this once when we confirm the venue and date for wala, and when i ask you about it.
you said "HUH? whats happening on sat?" wah thats the ultimate man seriously.haha

Me:
oh shit man!!
serious! i can't rmb that... seeshh... u must have really been not that impt in my life... =)

LG:
oh well,
hey wala is not just you and me alright, it includes dean ws wm too.
oh well, at least i know i am significant to u, thats what matters!
wahahahahahahaha~

Me:
you meant insignificant? hahahah...

LG:
you know i'm significant.
stop deceiving yourself. you arent doing any justice to yourself you know. ;)

Me:
wonder who's the one that is deceiving himself...

LG:
who who who? where what when whom which? ;)

Me:
see u're doing it again... haiz...

As usual he went...

LG:
ohh shuddup~ haha!

Me: =)

See the reason why email is so impt now... Coz our co.... well not exactly our co., ban us from MSN. It's the only way to communicate with the outside world while working.

A little interest or laughter when work just sucks...

Blessed thurday!

A blessed thursday. A joyful day. Bless by the the big guy up there.

I passed my supp. paper! I was ecstatic when I saw the email. I just wanted to dance, shout and sing! The feelings were just filling within me. Overwhelming. But I can't do so in the office. So I was just dancing on my seat and within me. And letting joy to carry me away with the wind in my beautiful garden. Of cause in my imagination.

This verse best describe how I feel now. From the time when studying for exams just turn so tough all of a sudden. Worries that filled me when I was preparing for my supp. paper.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

Psalm 30:11-12

It was a battle won after 1.5 years. Indeed it calls for a celebration.

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

Once again weekends just passed without a sound. Without a blast.

Time spent with him was short. And we did nothing much for the weekend except for having lots of fried food. I can hear the machines calling me in the gym. I drag going gym on mondays 'cause it's always fill with people due to the overeating during the weekends. But other days are occupied.

He's back in camp and probably sound asleep.

Picking a fight with him was so much easier in the past but now I'll have to think twice. Just the other day we had a little quarrel and it sort of worries me. Isn't that the time when relationship starts to change during enlistment? But a simple sorry makes everything loving again.

It's kind of a bitter-sweet day. It's our 2yr anniversary but he's back in camp. But none of us really mention anything about it or rather it slip our mind. Just like how we always did. The exact number of days doesn't really matter I guess.

Currently reading "The Sinner" by Tess Gerritsen. If you like thriller, this is a must read. I started reading the book on friday and am halfway through the book already. And I guess it's gonna be another late night with the book. =)

At the bf's house now.

Came over to wash Butsie's cage if not his sister will have to wash 3 cages.

Was the supp. paper today. I don't know what to say. Feel more at ease but hope that I can pass this paper. It's the last one already. Hope I don't have to re-module again. I'll need to pay 1.9k. It's insane.

Staying for dinner at his place. It's finally tues. Can't wait for friday to come. His booking out day. Miss him terribly the past couple of days. Didn't know that I would miss someone so much. Or even need someone so much before. It's just weird to not have him around me. But I'll slowly get used to it. oh well we'll have to.

But I don't really look forward to work tml, after taking a break for 16days. The thought of work just sucks but money... need me to say any further... Need to get the engine running again.

Gonna laze in his room before dinner... then it'll be time to head home and get ready for work tml... =(

Certainly hope I can wake up.

He left this morning at 8am to CMPB and they sent him to camp. Didn't slept well the whole night 'cause he was still not feeling well. Having diarrhea and chest pain which got me really worried. He was still having diarrhea when he reported to cmpb this morning.

I wonder how is he now. Resting or going through crazy trainings. Hope he's doing fine. Will keep him in prayer. Anyways some photo from KL & BKK.

"Garden" in KL.

Photos with his nephew.

The super long tissue prata at a super cheap price.

BKK.

Not much photo taken in BKK. 'Cause most of the time it was spent on shopping and walking! I'm so glad to have a bf that loves shopping!

There were some small arguments during the BKK trip which I really regret 'cause I was the unreasonable one. But it made me cherish him even more knowing that he's putting effort to be patient with me and trying to learn more about God.

I remember on monday night when little pudding die, I was crying like nobody's business and washing up her cage. which I rarely do it. Most of the time he'll do it though it's our pet. But he never ever complain that he's doing everything even for our guinea pig, Butsie. I thought he wasn't that upset after all. I kind of doubt it 'cause even the slightest abnormality of our pet drives him really crazy and worried, and the next sentence that comes out from his mouth would be "shall we take her to the vet?".

After praying for him to be ready for enlistment the next day, I saw tears coming down his cheek. Finally.... who wouldn't have miss the cute little pudding. With all her stupid and funny actions.

R.I.P pudding.

Got back from some crazy shopping in Bangkok with the bf on friday.

And we sure did paid a high price for this trip. Fall sick and still recovering.

My poor bf was down with fever the day before he was supposed to be enlist into police academy and was sent back home instead. Time just tick away and his 2 day mc is up tml. He's gotta report tml. Gonna miss him for 10days.

well... after some crazy shopping it's time to prepare for my supp. paper next tuesday. How sad. My block leave is gonna end in 4 more days. Isn't it a tragic!! Getting back to work after 10days of leave. It's like trying to get the engine started once again. Going back to the fast pace life.

Having your alarm waking you up from your beauty sleep, like it's screaming "it's time to work".

oohhh... that feeling. What a drag. oh well I'll just make good use of the last few days and enjoy it.

met up with mei,wan chien, ivan and james today...

Dinner at fish and co.

Dessert at Canele.

And we called it a day. Upload the photos soon mei!

It's the bf's driving test day.

I certainly hope he'll pass... 'cause it'll benefit me alot! =)

I'm already planning for late night outs without paying for cabs anymore!

SO it' the last sem. exams... I woke up at abt 10am and it's 3:44pm and I have read less than a 100 words related to my paper on monday.

I've been lazing on the bed since breakfast, doing everything except study. And now I'm blogging. The weather outside is killing and I wished to just stay in the cooling air-con room and do NOTHING. 12 chapters to finish for my retail paper and let's see how much time am left with....

Not too sure given the amount of time I'm lazing around. And still... I've plans to go Bishan. And I so wanna collect my clothes I bought online from Lyn! Talking about clothes. I've cut down my shopping expenses by more than 50%! Oh well... I'm surviving quite well for the moment.

BUT! Not gonna last long. In 3 weeks time, I'll be taking my block leave, taking a break from work for 10days. I wished it could longer or forever. Work is just getting shitty nowadays. It's not the work scope but rather it's the people. The head. Nothing can be worse off than being under a terrible leader. Anyhow back to my well deserved break.

Will be heading to KL and bangkok for holiday with the boyfriend. He has to visit his relatives in KL first 'cause once he's back he'll be going to NS. Old solider! He hates it whenever I call him that. =)

As for Bangkok, I don't have to say anything more.

I simply can't wait. I've been wanting to head to BKK since last year. And each attempt to go failed since I plan to go. But this time nothing's gonna stop me. Unless the H1N1 flu gets really bad. If not! It's time to go crazy and let loose!

Alright enough said. it's time to hit the books again....

Ciaoz!

Excited? ecstatic? happy?

I can't describe how I feel now... But one thing for sure. My shoulder feels lighter now. One by one, each burden is off. Portfolio and retail test is over. Portfolio assignment has already been submitted. For the past few weeks, it's been hard to breathe. The race went on week after week. Each week there was something to prepare for or to submit. Even the simulation group game, is left with the last round this week. It's the last 2 weeks before this sem. ends and it's time for exams.

Just checked my PM results... 77. It was such a relief. 'Cause this module has the highest failure rate. Looking back in April, getting this sem. started was something that I thought I couldn't do anymore despite the 4 sem. I went through. I was demoralised and discouraged. I didn't know how to survive through this period but eventually I did. And it's ending soon. I owe it to some of the people around. Their care, concern, encouragement and faith in me got me through.

Now it's left with one reflection paper report and final presentation for biz cap. Am still dilly dallying... =)

Another thing I can't believe is getting close with Lyn. Someone which I thought I couldn't click with since the very first sem. But damn... I was wrong. We're planning to go on a self declared graduation trip. I'm just glad that I knew her. =)

Alright... it's time for reflection paper. Gotta get it done before dinner!!

Ciaoz!

am supposed to be studying for my retail test tml. But I've been sitting in front of the com. doing everything else except for studying. So much for a long weekend... I have to worry for my test tml.

10 chapters... I'm not even done with chapter 1! I would need some good luck and good memory now.

Anyways I scored pretty ok for my individual simulation game. It was such a relief. I've got so many burdens on me, now slowly it's taken off one by one... exactly 1 more month lessons will end and my final exam will be here.... The smell of freedom is near! Though there's another supp. paper.

I was just reading through some email. And time really flies. It's been 4 years since that incident happen. I look back and i'm glad Jocelyn is standing strong. A much more stronger person today. =)

You know I've so much plans in my head for holidays and I can't wait. But once again BKK is gonna be out of the question. People stop rioting!! There are shoppers dying to go there! Anyhow if BKK is out of the question, it shall be HK. Again.

But what I really wanna do is to go back to Sabah again. To climb Mt KK. I need buddies! Still in the search of people who are interested.

Alright... time to study!

Have a long and nice weekend peeps!

Insanity

It's been hell of a week for me.

And my emotions sets in to make things worse and on top of that work has to join in the fun. I find it quite hard to deal with my emotions nowadays especially with him around me. And he always has to face with my different emotions. And it's anger and impatience most of the time. He tried hard to cheer me up. I appreciate it.

Just finished a test on tues and it was the week of our individual simulation game. It's terror seriously. Am so tired running my last lap and I'm giving every last bit of my strength for this sem. Retail test is next sat. It's no time for resting. The run has to continue on. And after that it continues on with presentation and project submission. 2 more months... the race will end.

The study race is ending soon but when will work race end? When will my race in this place end, I'm thinking. 21 july would be my 3rd year here. I look back and wonder... how many times did I thought of leaving this place so badly? Countless... And now it's back again... Quite determine this time round. Even more determine to realise my dream. But I need money.

But I can't wait and I hate it here! I drag everyday again. What can I do?

Quite after studies? I need to think it through.

But I need to breathe....

Have you ever notice yourself scratching when you feel stressed up? And probably just feel better after it?

Well I was in the lift this morning up to the office on the 26 floor. In our building, every lift has a mini tv that broadcast news from Reuters. And I happen to chance upon this depsite having so many heads in front of me, I thought it was rather interesting and true to a certain extent. Here it goes.

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Oh, it brings such blessed relief and now scientists can tell you why -- scratching an itch temporarily shuts off areas in the brain linked with unpleasant feelings and memories.

I recalled the times when I did scratch my head when there isn't an actual itch. The chances of it is... 8 out of 10. so the next time round... scratch! :0)

My colleague forward an email about Zodiac sign yesterday and I went to checked it out. And it's pretty accurate about libra woman.

LIBRA WOMAN
Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look younger than her age.

She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman. She looks nice in either Jean or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far behind. She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated in any games she plays with you even she is winning.

She is a little flirt even she has no idea what she wants. She can not decide what to do, and what not to do, so she can not set her schedule very well in all cases. She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.

In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she can tell which party will win the election.

She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself. She can not decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people ,or what you feel as much as her own feeling.

She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.

Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for you.

She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks and may loose you (let you win) in a few poker games.

If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!

Free day

It's a free day. I would said it is 'cause I had time for myself. I've been so caught with all the busyness in my life that I've already forgotten that I need time for myself. To stop and reflect. Sundays would be tuition. The little time that I can squeeze out is occupied as well.

But it's different today. After spending some time in church, preparing for good friday, I headed to orchard. I was still early and buying time. I walked from city hall to PS. A short walk but probably enjoyable. And i realized I've missed out so much. Letting the things around me just passed? How the traffic lights are being placed for pedestrians to cross. It sounds lame and not necessary to mention that, but I really never take notice how the traffic lights were despite walking past that area so many times when my school was still there.

With my cup of green tea frappucino, I chilled out alone @ PS starbucks waiting for time to pass. Was there to catch Arvin's gig with SMU. I would said it's 1 hour well spent, least I got some notes into my head for portfolio mgmt. An hour plus of waiting for just a 10mins gig. But oh well it's not too bad.

And right after his performace, we decided to give weiloong a 'visit'. More like surpirse. T'was the changing of guard parade at Istana. It's rather interesting. Hmm... maybe it's fun. I remember how I always drag it when I see them parade, 'cause their nothing but hazards on the road causing traffic jams. Delaying my time home. But today I finally understand why. It's fun to just walk down with the soldiers marching and the band. And watch a mini show outside the Istana. Many people were just walking down with them, taking photos and videos of them.

Anyways good job weiloong! :0)

Joined him @ Clementi for dinner with his family and relatives. I just love being with them. It's so much fun. And easy to communicate. oh yea... It's really sweet of his aunt to get me a ring on her holiday trip. Lovely ring. Love it. Gonna wear it tml.

That's it for today. Doesn't seem much but I felt that I had time for myself. It's 1.37am. Weekends always pass so fast. Luckily it's a 4 day work week.

Alright! Bed is calling!

Ciaoz!

it has been madness since I came back from Sabah. Everything didn't seem to work well at all.

Results was out on the day when I flew to Sabah. And I checked it at the airport free internet services provided. Didn't do well and I had to take a supp. paper for corporate finance. So guess how much I enjoyed my trip. It's probably just that little bit.

Things were just horrible when I came back. I had allergy spots on my feet and hands. Apparently I was bitten by some sea organisms and allergic to it. And then 2 days later I was down with urine infection.

And the best part of everything, he left for Ipoh with his family and I was left alone at his place to look after 3 guinea pigs, 2 hamsters,fishes and plants. Since when I became a gardener or farmer. It was really bad. Practically devasted. Crying was my only way of releasing out my stressed up mood. And I didn't understand why he could just leave me here alone.

I just wanted to quit school. It's really draining. Work and study. But it's my last sem. I can't just give up.

And I thought that I would feel so much better after he's back. I did feel slightly better but I didn't exactly feel better. I still had many issues to deal with. The problem lies with me. I realised that I had to let it go. I had to look at things positively. Feelings goes with thoughts. That's true.

If I didn't had to take supp. paper this time round, I don't think I'll be that motivated this sem. It's really a wake up call. I screwed up one sem. Not this last sem anymore.

Things are getting better. And I'm standing strong again.

Nothing is gonna beat me down!

It's freezing cold in the office. My fingers are numb. And damn.. I brought my jacket back home.

I'm leaving for Sabah at 5pm. Finally a short getaway to the nature. After so much of shopping holiday trips, I think it's time that I learn to appreciate the beautiful nature that God has created. Something that I've missed. Until Ivy's trip here. And I didn't realise Singapore has such nice places. So near my house but also only caught my attention when the bus passes by.

Leaving for Sabah... but it's pretty shitty. I had stomach cramps since sunday and stomach upset since sunday. Everything goes in, comes out watery. And I had seafood for dinner last night. Now I have rashes on my feet! Damn!!

I really hope I enjoy this trip!

I totally screwed up my paper today. and I doubt I can passed. But I pray for the best.

My strength is not strong enough to support my will. I have slowly drift away from Him. My quiet times with Him had seem to disappear. What's the most important thing in my life and yet my faith is not built upon it.

I've been depending on my helpless strength. But why not depend on the One who have unlimited strength.

I need my REAL life back!

Time now is 7:39pm.

And we're supposed to be on our way to weiloong's 21st birthday. But I just managed to finish. Sorry boy... work has to come first.

Anyways morning was a real busy time for me... Boss was sick. She went to see a doc and came in late. Leaving me to be superwoman, handling both SG and HK. But anyhow it all went well! Talking about falling sick. The weather is pretty bad nowadays. It's hot and dry. Everybody is suffering from sore throat,flu and headaches. Just hope the germs dont start to spread! Take care my friends!

I rec'd a call from mum just now. I would be happy if she didn't call. And it probably won't end up in such an upset situation. She called to ask if I was free to help my dad sign a contract to get him a phone from starhub. I told her that am having exams next week and I need the time to study. Sure it takes a short while but it's Sat tml. Starhub is ALWAYS flooded with people. A short while could be 2hours. I could achieve lots in 2 hours rather than sitting at a place with so many deseparate people waiting for their turn. So my dad not having a phone to use is more impt than my exams. How good can she improve the already so bad situation.

I don't know how...

Anyways it's time to leave! Auds waiting at Vivo! Sry girl!

I don't know why but as I get older I seem to hate... probably the word "hate" is too much, dislike might be a better word, my family.

Probably like the old saying... 长大了, 翅膀长硬, 会飞了.

Growing up has allow independence to be part of my life even more. And having an income has made me wanna break free even more. From this family. A home. More like a place I wanna get away from so much. And I'm counting down to the day. I'm waiting for that day to come.

Having being introduced into another family, I realised the meaning of being a real family. Maybe it's because of this family that fillls the part that's is missing in my life all these while. Strangely, it makes me wanna cherish this family more than my own. Everyone in this family plays a part and not saying "those are not mine, it doesn't bothers me." Everyone in this family helps each other to keep the house neat and tidy. Relatives that communicates with each other with not much restrictions and talks about anything. And not feeling like a stranger and have no topic to talk about.

Not relatives that says things without thinking or say things that might even hurt. Not relatives that gives a strong urge to show them that without their help financially, I'll still stand on strong. Even if it takes to stop school.

And my family. I'm starting to close my doors towards them.

This chinese new year's spring cleaning has taught me not to do too much. Just stick around with your own stuff. I find time and spend time to do but it wasn't appreciate. All I get back is "only hardworking today" from my mum when my aunt came. That's all I got. Not a single thank you or anything. Packing to the wee mornings after work and non-stop from sat afternoon to 6am sunday morning, no appointments, no sleeping despite of headache. Just to try to keep the house clean and presentable. And all I got back is a bucket of cold water right on me.

And my youngest sisters who did nothing and 2nd sister who helped abit and went straight to bed after saying having headache didn't even got a single nag or scolding from my mum.

I had a huge quarrel with her few days after the cny eve. A quarrel that changed everything since then. Home is no longer the place I took refuge in. I've not talk to my sisters much since then. Not share with them what happen at work. I've become someone of few words at home now. I won't say that it's totally her fault but I would say only 20% is my fault. But 80% will be my fault 'cause I was disrespectful. But I had enough.

Life in my family will be different. You may say I could have choose the other way. But I'm telling you now, i'm choosing this way. I'll let things be the way it is, so as to minimize the quarrels at home.

Family is no longer that important to me, but in times of trouble I won't run away.

My OWN family will be the important one to me in future. A family I built up with love and warmth. With lots of laughter and sharing. With happy memories that make me smile and not fill it with tears.

Don't say anything 'cause I'm not changing my mind. Mum hasn't wash a single of my clothes since then. 'Cause I've been doing it. And i'll con't on.

Call me stubborn, stupid or heartless. It will be the way it shall be.

It's been madness at work these 2 days.

The word "madness" seems to be always used to describe my work. Frankly speaking it is. It comes and goes like nobody's business. It can be calm this moment and stormy the next. Sometimes I think it's too much. 'cause every single payment is urgent. But there's only me. One Jocelyn.

Yesterday's work left me seeing red. And really realise the reason why many hate these, in this case I would like to refer to them as "zi you shen". Learnt this when I was in HK. They are really horrible. Calling china is always the greatest challenge for me. And I was being transferred here and there. Details I shall save it. Manage to get it settled after 2 days. And I'm "impressed" with their working attitude. How could their main branch sent our amendment to the wrong branch?! We're talking about payments here. Late payments=lost of interest or causing a OD in client's account. I take my hats off them. They're nothing but "superb".

This case was already driving me crazy and this morning I've so many payments that are urgently waiting to be authorised. I wonder how I manage to cope, but I just did.

So much about work. Let's gossip abit.

I've a stalker sitting next to me and he's slowly getting on my nerves and a pain in the arse. He did something that probably NO ONE will ever do. Didn't they say men think from one box to another. But he's thinking OUT of the box. It was a stupid thing to do.

He's been bugging me and my colleague for weeks as to why I'm not speaking to him. Somethings are just best left unspoken. I was already slowly talking to him but he screwed it up yesterday.

We have templates at work to used when crediting the client's a/c. Once the entry is keyed, it would be reflected in client's a/c, pending for my approval. This smart alec actually type "Ms lee, can u pls tell me why are you not talking to me leh. I really dont know why leh." So you know why it's stupid.

Luckily I found out in time, reprimanded him a little and ran away from the qns. It stepped on my tail again.

What can I say. He's just too imaginative. Smart.

I've been through lots of emotions yesterday, good thing was it ended on a happy note. I bought a pair of boots for 50 bucks. Cheap!

My mind is wandering off soon... Getting slpy.

Gotta sleep early and prepare for a power pac morning!! Body combat here I come!!

Ciaoz everyone!

Till then! Take care!

Gastric is giving me problems again.

Was on mc for the past 2 days. down with gastric flu. I slept the whole of yesterday and I just feel like sleeping more. Headed back to work today. But felt worst.

I was having terrible headache. Had a nap on the bus and woke up feeling giddy and nausea. And my vision was blur. I was afraid to stand up when I reach office. Coz I fear that I will collapsed again. I had something sweet and felt better. But my vision was still blur. I was trying hard to keep my eyes open. To make sure that the numbers I saw and figures were correct. Fearing that I might just sent the wrong amt out.

Lunch was terrible. I could barely eat anything in. I didn't ever had half the salmon or 1/4 of rice. I lost all the appetite.

Sudden change in body temperature was frustrating. This minute i felt chill, next I'll be in cold sweat. I felt like going home badly but there was no one to cover me. Sg side already had enough problems.

Manage to get off work early due to low volume. Headed to Tiong Bahru for a better doc. The same doc which I went back 3 times and got a 5 days mc. He's good just that i'm a lousy patient with a stubborn gastric. Well medicine is stronger i guess this time round.

But if I don't recover by this weekend. It's straight to the specialist this time.

So pray hard Jocelyn! U have a mighty healer! Have faith!

2008 has been a year of great blessings and trials.

It was a year hard to get by. Trying to balance life between work and school.

And work gives me nothing but sadness. It took me awhile to finally realize and figured out how I could look at my job the positive way.

Besides work and school, manage to meet up with some of my poly classmates and sec. school mates. And of course, the percussionists! The people I truly and always adore! It's fun having their company. And I've owe them a gathering since a long time ago.

But sadly, there are a group of people. I don't wanna use friends here 'cause they are the people I would like to forget as I leave.

Friends were wonderful. But there is someone else that played a bigger part in my life and he still is. That is the boyfriend.

I recall the many times when we quarreled but without fail you always give in though it's my fault. I'm always the one who's all out to pick a fight with you and just walk out of the problem with my tiredness. But you taught me how to be patient. How to not give a verdict without hearing you out. And sad to say I'm still learning and trying...

You always gives me the best and keep the lousy ones for yourself. I don't understand how and why but you seem to have endless patience with me. My roller coaster mood swings must have gave you many tough times. Something which I might have took for granted sub-consciously. This part I'm trying very hard...

You get upset and ask me why I always refer you as "my friend" when speaking to others. It's just like we never or seldom call each other "baby,honey,dear or my darling etc....". But bitch,slut and arsehole. And our contact name in the phone are still our name. I like it this way 'cause what's important is just us. There better not be a 3rd party!! That's for me! haa... =x

I treasure this relationship, treasure you and all the effort you've put in. Especially helping to take care of Butsie. She would have been dead if she was living under the same roof as me.

Thank you for being my best friend,confider and arsehole! And never to forget my best bitchy shopping partner since a long time ago! You love to see me buy clothes that suits me and so do I! That's why we always over spend!

It's a brand new year with several "missions" to accomplish.

2009's resolution:
1) Building a closer relationship to God
2) more Devotional time
3) Re-discover my keyboard skills in worshipping and leading worship.
4) His salvation.
5) Get done and over with my Degree
6) A new job with better boss and career opportunity.
7) To spend less. (Quite impossible but trying.)
8) Travel more. (How to spend less????)

The lists goes on but these would be top priorities.

It's 1am. Time for bed but I need to start on my assignment due on wednesday.

Gosh feeling lazy and it's suppose to be a brand new year!

So long peeps! Till then! Take care!

Mum and Aunt called to check on me several times these 2 days.

I feel touched and loved.

I made them worried. Esp. my mum... who called me many times just to ensure that I'm alright.

I fainted on sat mornin and my sister, meichan, freaked out 'coz my eyes rolled.

Thank God she was in the living room. If not I might had hit my head on the sofa side or the floor.

When I woke up I was kneeling on the ground with my sister trying to hold me up and shouting "Jie" and the last thing I could rmb was me standing up talking to my sister.

Thanks mum,aunt and meichan!

I'm struggling hard to keep myself focus in my studies.

Exams are just one day away and I've hardly prepare anything much. What have I done the past few days?

I really don't know. concentration only comes in the night. And in the day it's just time for Jocelyn's lazy afternoon.

My life is better much like a roller coaster nowadays. I think I know where the problem is. But why is it so difficult. Why do I find it so restless or weak to stand against it.

I have time to reflect on my actions. But I chose to leave it at the back of my mind.

Am I just such a coward to admit? While on the outside stands a ego and strong me.

Nobody screwed up my life, except myself.

Work could have been fine, even though it's really shitty.

But it's just how you see it.

I need to get my life back in shape. Like how it used to be.

I pray for help, O God!

I finally found the reason of my unhappiness.

Not exactly found but re-confirm.

My work is the one.

It's my 2nd day of leave and I have not felt a single unhappiness in me. I'm enjoying every moment. And I realise that it's really time to leave this place. But not with the current situation. Just how long do I still have to wait.

The work is fine but some people are juts shitheads. Esp. if it's your boss.

And I just found out that one of my colleague didn't like the girl I always dislike.

I've always thought that I have a problem with her that's why everything she does. Just annoys me. But it turns out otherwise. Ai ling felt the same way too.

And after hiding so long and working with each other for quite awhile then we realise that there are alot of things that we think the same way. We have been hiding and complaining to out bf and husband. Now that we know we have each other, work seems happier.

Having her ard makes me happier at work. Coz least I know I can speak to someone about it.

I have about 8 more months to go before completing my studies. At this point of time, I need the money for my school fees. I don't pin much hope on them reimbursing me for my studies. After all studying and taking a degree is for my own benefit.

When it comes to a point that it reaches my limit. I'll definitely do what I've been wanting to do and ought to do for the past one year.

I've become such a unhappy person because of work. My boss doesn't really give my opportunities. Not sure why. Probably she's afraid.

But the day when I tender I'll give her the real reason for my resignation. And not telling her I've a better offer. No lies.

We're a family. That's what she told Ailing today. But are you sure you really see me as a family?

I've chosen to keep quiet at work and not give her much suggestion. Since she doesn't really use them.

She loves her "pet S" so much. They can go form a family then.

I think I better stop. Or else it'll bring the anger out from me again.

It's just 40 over days more to the end of 2008.

Bear with it! i believe I have higher tolerance level than this.

Time to study! Econs! Damn!

I hate...

After 2 weeks of madness working, I finally went for my workout.

It felt good. I let it all out.

Work is making me moody. It's making me depressed.

I want to end my journey here.

This is not what I want. I need something better.

I hate restrictions. I hate not being able to go further.

I hate my life now....

punctured.

I'm feeling like a thousand things is in my head. and I just can't get things started.

Am tired from work for the past 2 weeks. almost 15 hours of work everyday. It's draining me...

Economy is going chaotic. And so are our lives. Long gone are those who said that banking pays well. Now the question is. Can you even keep your job? People are paranoid about their investment. And I've lost some too.

I'm getting annoyed with people around me. Wanting to get some interest out of AUD. But is afraid. Changing minds from time to time. It's getting on my nerves. Just what the hell is your final decision.

My mum thought that I've lose my senses by having a $10K credit card bill and there she goes nagging away over the phone. With a "no it's not", I ease her and just hang up.

Things around me are going on so fast but my pace is slowing down each day with the tiredness. Yet I can't stop 'cause I've projects and assignments.

I'm starting to hate school. Hate marketing. But like finance. Surprising.

And I just want to leave somethings the way it is now. I don't feel like meeting some people 'cause it reminds me of others. The others that I don't really want to associate with. I tried to push it away. But they keep forcing me.

I'm disappointed with some people in my life but they just don't know. I've become less interested in what they are doing. Cause the ones that really cares are far away. The friendship that used to bring some fun and laughter, now I want to stray faraway. But it just won't allow me to. I've hinted but it insisted.

Does it have to be so clear? I just want my time alone. To spend time with people that I think would make me happier.

My voice has slowly lose it's existence in the work place 'cause I chose not to be too close. Everyone is wearing a mask. Even those that I thought are nice, are actually not really sincere and nice. Those I don't like remain unwelcome in my life.

Now those few people are running through my head. And some used-to-be close ones. I'm feeling sore.

I need chocolate or ice-cream.

It's okay. I shall abstain.

Till the next time round.

ciaoz.

Typhoon No.8

yes... it is but not here at work. But live in HK.

HK market is closed for the day. And there's not much work to be done.

So now the decision maker is my boss.

Waiting for the green light from her to see if we can go home.

hmmmm.... but she doesn't seem like she want to...

Anyways we'll see.

Life have been such a bitch. I'm beginning to realised that I've lost myself. Work is becoming such a drag even after 10 days of block leave. I can't get back the passion that I used to have. Becoming abit more laid back when doing work. But not too much.

It's like a time bomb have been planted within me. Waiting to explode anytime. I've been holding on and biting my teeth. How I wish I can bite it off.

anyhow.. i'll still try to hold on.

hk

it's my first day in HK.

And for the first time i'm travelling alone. prety exciting taking into consideration trying taking a big luggage,8 boxes of pandang cake and taking public transport to my friend's house alone.

All these I've never done before. It's always taxi and taxi. Fun and cheap.

Then I can save all my money on eating and shopping. Headed to this shopping mall that has almost most of the brand outlets. Cheaper but outdated in HK not SG.

Not much activities today. Just these much.

Getting abit sleepy. Gotta head to bed. Coz it's gonna be more fun and shopping tml. =)

I miss him so....

It's been a long time.

my last post was in April and it's almost exactly 2 months that I've not update any single thing.

It's been a long-weary-challenging-uptight 2 months. I am drained to the extreme and I know I need a long break from work.

Just ended my summer semester couple weeks ago. Having my well deserve holidays. Not quite. But still trying to make full use of it.

I'm back to my "no-life" life. Working late and later.

Seriously am sick of my life here. Here. In Singapore. I need some change and I need some motivation to get my life going on.

Though I am now an authorizer. I don't feel like one. Felt that I was the right person, at the right time to be make use of. Not the best candidate. It saves her trouble it look for someone new.

Sometimes I wonder is it me. Or is it them. Or rather it's time to leave? It's pointless staying there with absolutely no opportunity to go anywhere further.

Part of me is hesitant. But almost a whole big part of me is hoping everything goes well and I can get what I want. Life would be a brand new start. I still remember how ecstatic I was, with my blood pressure dropping and feeling faint over my excitement.

Well if it's meant to be, it shall be. That's all I can say.

*Oh GOD! Pls give it to me!"

It's 1.24 am and he's mugging hard for his paper tml. Best of luck.

Time for bed. Ciaoz.

April... the fool's month.

phew what a close shave, I would say.

Am finally able to eat chilli after 2 weeks.

Last week was terrible.

Seriously speaking I was really afraid of scoping that I prayed hard and cried that it will recover.

As always. God answers prayers. Everything is all well.

Recovering from that painful experience was the best thing that happen in the month of April.

April was a really bad month. Not just for me. But everyone else beside me.

I screwed up my Finance Managerial MST. And I walked out happily facing the fact that am going to fail this paper. I just know it.

Finished up my MR individual proj., not gonna do well. I just know again.

Left with FM & MR grp project.

I have not been studying and doing my revision. Too much slacking. Am just so tired and exhausted everyday.

And with promotion to authoriser, am finishing work at almost 7+,8 everyday. There's too much things to do. More to come. I know that. Again.

I barely even have time for gym nowadays. What's more abt losing weight and sweating it all out.

And interest. well... it was supposed to be an interest,doing what you enjoy. Absolutely stress free. But now it's more of a burden. No not the right word. Stress. yea... that's the word. It's making me a little upset and helpless. And definitely guilty.

Seriously speaking. Stress level is hitting it's peak soon. And I'm talking about taking 3 modules for my next sem,with work and tuition.

Mentally: am zonked.

Physically: Not sure when it's going to give way.

Probaly stress was the reason to the gastric pain. Maybe it was sub-conscious initially. But when it became conscious, it was too late.

I start to doubt myself. My ability. My tolerance level.

How far can I go in this journey?

Something undesirable.

Am struggling hard to finish up my Marketing Research project.

2 questions.1000 words each. Seems easy,sounds easy. But it's hell of a time to so research for just this 2000 words. Am already done with question 1.

There's still left with one more to go... probably another 3-4 more hours. I hope I get it done fast. There's still finance to study. I've cutting too much slack for myself this term. Gotta get the ball rolling again.

It's a tuesday afternoon and here I am at home doing my project. Not on leave but medical leave. 2 days of MC ytd and today. Talking about that I was on MC for 3 days last week too.

Guess gastric has really knock me down this time. Been to the doc for 3 times. Med from the first doc didn't help much. Immediately the next day I went to another clinic. The pain relieve for a couple of days. But on sunday the pain was back and I vomited at night. Feeling more nauseous than before.

Headed back to the doctor again ytd. I was given stronger med and a referral letter to a specialist. 'Cause if the med doesn't helps,he's afraid that ulcers have already start developing. And if it burst... that's it. That is how simple it can be.

I know how serious the situation is now. And I'm really afraid. I don't wanna do scoping or whatever they call it. Insert a tube right through my mouth and start scanning. Gesh...

God please bless me.

And thanks I have not touch chilli for 1 week. I'll do anything now man... Even if it takes to eat porridge everyday. Anything. So long as it recovers and am able to take chilli again! Anything!

Maybe it's stomach cancer?

Maybe

I wanna talk.

I wanna study my finance.

I wanna fo my mkting research proj.

I wanna shop online.I wanna read a book.

Maybe... Maybe I wanna do either one of those above.

But I don't know.

I just feel weird.

Yea that's how I feel.

The "maybe" mood.

Nitez.

It's been a bad week since monday.

And friday has to be bad too...

I left home w/o my hp and only realise it at the bus stop. Overslept and missed my bus. Reached office the system was down... Seesh!!

It's not even black friday to talk about.

Hope things get better over the weekend. Think nth much gonna with intensive lecture taking up almost half a day for sat and sun.

Was so angry this morning.. But the thought of Butsie, is all it takes to see a smile on my face.

I'm upset.

Worried.

Tears are flowing down my cheeks.

My heart aches. And it's hurting even more.

How I wish I can leave right now to see you. And just sit beside you to watch you sleep.

Give you all my TLC and be there when you need me.

I miss your noise. I miss your liveliness. I miss you running and hoping around.

Get well soon. Butsie.

Time... Flies.

Once again. Our anniversary passed. Our 8th month.

And we just let it past us again. Both of us forgot about it and it's not the first time. I just think it's kind of funny. I don't know what's the reason but ya... somehow both of us wld let it pass until one of us rmb-ed.

We laugh at each other for being so silly. But the love is still going on strong. The bond is there. Stronger than ever. The love is filling up the air and our hearts. I've learnt to be patient. Learnt to listen before giving a verdict. I mean still learning.

Everthing doesn't seems to be 8 mths that far. But the fact is that we are and still counting for more silly moments tgt.

Thank you for the past 8 mths! Pan di.

Anyways march was pretty crazy.

The start of march was slightly peaceful with just work and tuition. But the end of march was insane. School just started and I've projects to be submitted in apr. And I have a test in 3 weeks time. How nice. I just haven got the motivation in yet. Trying to get the fire started. But so far Finance Managerial is still okay. First few topics are a revision of last sem's work. So school is still fine till this point of time,it's only the 2nd week. But the stress is in.

Besides school, I had some fun time last weekend. My hk colleague,Ivy,came to visit singapore and being close,I'm definitely her host. Maybe half a host. We met up in JB with her friend Cecilia. Yea JB. Haven step into there for 5 years! But not everything went smoothly.

The bf and I bought the 3.30pm train tics so as to avoid the unnecessary jam. But it turns out worse! The train broke down and we were stuck at Tanjong Pagar train station for 1.5hrs!!! Everything was delayed!! We could reach at 4.30 but we reached at 6. So half a day was gone. And so finally we reached,happily headed to the Mac to meet Ivy. She was at the wrong place. Apparently the coach that she took from Malacca dropped them off somewhere even further than city sq... So it was time to wait again.

Didn't do much that day. Just brought her around to take some photos and headed for dinner. It's dirt cheap for my weak stomach. I don't have to elaborate here.

Seriously speaking if it wasn't for Ivy, I won't have such time to relax or maybe have fun. Thanks to her we headed to wild wild wet. Had fun and a good laugh under the sun. Got a little burnt but it's nice! Sentosa was next. But weather was throwing tantrum. So we just had to leave early.

Brought her for prata after she had dinner with TAG dept. We spent our time till 4am. Sleepy. But lots of fun.

The bf hit it off well with them. Am glad. And we're planning our next trip to KL tgt. The 4 of us. It's rare. That's all I can say.

Well more updates later... gotta work!

Time now is 1:14am.

It's way past bed time for a weekday like that. But soon I'll turn in for a good sleep.

It's been a long day for the both of us. More details tml,if possible.

Anyways I'm overjoyed and Thank the big guy up that for all the strength and blessings'cause I've gotten back my results! Satisfactory. I would say.

Got a credit for finance,66 marks. Guess my final year exam pulled the grades up 'cause I only got 56 for my test and it's 40%. So still quite satisfied.

And as for consumer behaviour, I've got a high distinction! 87 marks... haha... Am so proud of myself. Despite trying to cope with work,studies and tuition.

The other thing is that I've got a guinea pig! It's cute,timid,playful and lovely! For it cost us a total of 200+! And we're planning to get a 2nd one!

Period!

Sigh... It's monday again. Why does weekends always have to pass so quickly. And I'm already counting down to friday.

Exams are finally over. Last paper was on last tues,Fin. Gosh... don't ask. It's just not so easy. Just hope for the best now. *crossing my fingers*

Finally I have some time to take a breather... But good times doesn't last too long. Starting school in about 3 weeks time. Drag!

Classes are gonna be on wed & thurs. Seesh... Better take in more breathe now! And I'm so not happy at work. In fact,miserable. Nothing can motivate me to come to work everyday. But I've been coming in on time or on the dot. Strange. But oh well.. Let's just say I'm leaving no loop holes for my boss to pick on me. Just in case she does.

He says that I'm thinking too much,that's why I feel so stressed.

But I just can't help thinking. Work is so free that I have ample time to think. No... in the first place my work doesn't even need any brain work. Got advise of couple of my friends. And they gave me the same ans.

LEAVE!

I'm just not sure. I'm so confused up in my head. Not knowing what to do.

I've lots of issues up in my head. And even my issues have issues.

I think I'm making things too complex for myself.

Spoke to a couple of people over the weekends regarding my job. I just love speaking to fellow church mates and my pastor. They just always know what to say. I'm not trying to say that my other friends don't give good comments. But they somehow remind me that I've neglect my time with God. Which I did ever since I started working.

But anyhow... after listening to what I said. Some of them told me it's high time to change my job. But nevertheless pray about it.

So PRAY it shall be. Meanwhile just bear with it first!!

You think taking a long break will help?

Not sure too... All I know is that my long break can only come in july. Pretty excited about this whole trip. It's the first time I'm gonna travel with my friends. Sounds like a hill billy? Actually my mum doesn't allow me to. But this time I think I'm just gonna do it first then tell her. =)

The weekends were well spent. Least am able to slow down my pace and take a look at the beautiful things that I've missed out on all this while.

Had a great workout followed by facial with fab massage ytd!

A less busy weekend for me I would say. Being able to workout and have my facial session peacefully.

Just like they say... Good times always passes fast.

School is starting soon in 2 weeks time. And this week I'm already packed with tuition.

Happy lunar new year in advance peeps!!

I'm so guilt striken now... Guilty for not attending class on tues. Missed out on a super impt lesson. Partly I didn't wanna go 'coz of the holiday mood and the other reason is I wanted so badly to service my phone. Having so much problems... all in one morning. Can't answer calls. Problems with my touch-screen,can't get into some of the applications. Freaking pissed 'coz I can only ans calls by touching my screen...

Tell me about it... Am I just plain unlucky?!

Using my sister's ugly and laggy N73. Can't really get used to it esp when I'm alr so used to touching the screen. You know what I mean...

Chinese new year has always been the same for me each year. On the 1st day, we would head to my uncle's place for lunch. And we would have the same old things each year. But! This year was a little special. We had it in buffet style. We had the eastern meet western combine. For the eastern we had chinese and jap. Western was pumpkin and some other things. Something fresh for the new year...

And as usual after that we headed to my paternal grandma's place. Plan was to stay there for less than 30mins, get our movie ticket money and head home. Which we do every year. But this year we stayed on for hours and had a game of mahjong with the adults. Well we never have a close relationship with cousins from my dad side, it's still the same. We headed home at 5 to get my stuff before joining my maternal uncle's and aunts for "CJ7".

Total waste of my money. It's not worth my 9.60. That's why I never like to catch chinese movie.

But what makes this year cny special was having pan di.

For the first time in my whole entire life,cny was so much fun and it meant so much. Not just collecting red packets. And that's all.

Was invited to pan di's uncle house ytd for dinner @1am. Why 1am? I don't know. All I knew was that I had so much fun. Somethings that I never done in any of my cny celebration.

3rd day of cny, would be just lazing around at home and watching tv. Can u imagine how lifeless my cny was. But tml I will be heading up to pan di's uncle house for lunch again. Something that they wld do every year. I'm quite excited abt it.

Cny was fun with pan di around. Though next wed I have a paper. I don't seem to worry much. He makes it special. Pan di, thanks for bringing me into your family lives. It's not just special but it means alot to me. Thank you for letting me understanding the real meaning of cny.

Study time...

January is over with a blink of an eye and we're stepping into the month of love and prosperity.

Work has been quite alright for the past few days except for wed. Ai ling was on leave and Serene was on MC. And only left with KC and I to battle through the peak hours and high volume for both SG and HK box. And what was a tragedy I have class that night. And I was late. For an hour.

Cny is round the corner,all the client's are rushing to give instructions to remit money to everywhere. Seems like the US market crash hasn't really affect much. But that was a few days ago. Market is slowly picking up.

Hmmm.... wonder if it's time to invest my money.

Problem? The money is not with me. And I need to convince my aunt that principal on investment would definitely be affected.

Have the idea of playing shares. But still quite hesitant about it though returns can be quite tempting.

13 feb:consumer behaviour
19 feb:Finance(Intro)

Yea I so totally have to spend cny studying at home.It's just not too far and I have not really start preparing. So drain and tired after work. I don't know how am I gonna study.

Talking about exams,I've just gotta back my finance test. It's a terrible and disappointing score of 56. Damn I seriously think I'm not cut out for finance. It's kind of disgusting.

Anyways I've paid. Can't change course. So plan now is to ask around and look around to see what are the interesting jobs. Though 1 & 1/2 years seems long. But didn't Jan just pass like that when we feel that we just celebrate new year like yesterday?

Studying and working is tough. I've always wanted to go overseas to further studies. I wanna get out of this boring place and start a new life,new chapter. But I didn't want to depend on anyone,not even my mum or my closet aunt,for my school fees. I wanted to do it all by myself. Though at that point of time my aunt did say to use the money that was given to me by my grandma to study. I thought it wld be good to invest and generate more earnings. However if I'll to save and then go overseas,I'll be too old and too late! So here I am with my decision made.

I have to search fast and look fast. There are tons of different paths out there but which is the one that I want? I need to know what I want so that once I graduate I can develop my career. Instead of start searching only at that time. 'Coz it's too late. By the time I finish my studies, I'll be 23!!! It's too late. Women's youth and prime time is when we are young. We have to do it faster than the men. Men's prime is at 40,but a women at 40 might just be an ordinary housewife or wrinkled face. Oh gosh... don't every let that happen. Maintain is the word.

"Men aged gracefully,women aged."

Time now is 10.43am. Gonna head out for breakfast with pan di and his sister and mum. It's gonna be a long and tiring day. Not forgetting heavy day. Have got intensive lecture from 2pm-9pm and 10am-5pm tml morning.

Tell me about it. School...