Basically weekend was... nothing much. To be exact. Wasted.

Didn't mange to spend much time with the bf for his weekend book out. Probably less than 12 hours for the 2 days.

But we manage to make it for breakfast on saturday morning. Mac's breakfast. It's been a long time since we woke up early and catch the morning sun. The smell of the fresh air and freedom. It's different as the ones on weekdays. You know what I mean. Anyways we headed to Daiso to get some stuff and it was time to head home to change. I had to go back to office. yea... Had to do some system testing for the Dubai market.

Totally wasted. I was there from 2-8pm. I could have done lots of things with 6 hours. Anyhow I rushed for the bf's friend's grandma's birthday celebration right after that. Nothing interesting happen. Headed over to his place with his parents while he had his night out with Clintson. Men's talk. They need it sometimes.

Resting day it's what I would call Sunday. Was lazing at his house after church and waited for dinner to come before sending him back to camp. Again. The part I always hated. And he's ever so sweet. Your sweets help to survive me through a stressful day at work. Thank you!

Nothing much. Work just felt like that today. Seriously!

Sleepy. Turning in soon. Ciaoz.

What's going on?

I got a little too emotional just now.

Don't know why. Anger was overtaking my senses. And then I started crying to let it all out. I raised my voice at him but he was still talking to me in the most gentle voice. I felt bad but am glad that I manage to control it there.

We had a good talk, though it was just 15mins or so. But it's just so precious. I miss the bf. When I need a hug from him so badly and I know he wants to give me that hug too. It's comforting enough. Weekdays are hard to go by, friday is what I'm looking forward to every week.

And work is missing the satisfaction part. I don't know where I'm heading to. After much thought, I've given myself a dateline. It's still long but I have yet to settle some things. Now it's not the right time.

I was talking to Wan Chien this afternoon. I was telling her, we're the minorities that bear with the unhappiness of our job for our age. People our age would have just quit and not think so much. Only those in their 40s will think twice. We are complaining and grumbling everyday. We talk abt taking that leap of faith. BUT! We are still where we are!

Zonked

Beautiful and joyous friday is here to say hello!!

What a week it has been for me. Working till almost 10 everyday and came in 30mins earlier to try and do some stuff. But couldn't manage to. Crazy week with lots of problems. My overlook to a certain payment has cause some disagreement. Should have been more careful while checking inputter's work. But my confidence for her got the better of me. And trouble is here knocking on the door. Make phone calls from melbourne to Wellington to HK, it's insane due to the time difference trying to catch hold of the people there before they knock off.

Anyways it's over. A mistake done is a lesson learn for life! Move on. Life goes on. The earth is still moving.

Totally zonked out. Each day pass and I'm just so tired. But everything is cleared. A better week will come!

The sleeping bug seems to be in the office today. I thought I was the only one but turn out few of my other colleagues felt the same too. I guess it's the weather. Rainy days... and mondays always gets me down. Sorry can't help it. Carpenters. Lovely!

So it's 8pm and am still in the office. Well waiting for the bf to call so that we can head out for a sinful meal together! Mac! and "G-force" with Alex and Vony!

Peeps! Have a great evening ahead! Mind is gonna blank out soon! Ciaoz!

Chilling weather. Rainy season. Making me lazy and sleepy.

It makes working tougher. Especially when there's just so much to do and lots of patience and tolerance to some colleagues while working. Worked till 10 last night and headed to office early this morning.

Made a mistake at work, trying to get the case solve. It feels kind of crappy. Helpless. Somehow it's solved but it's not. It's weighing on me.

There's something I've been thinking the past few days. Since I've finish my degree, I should feel like a burden off the shoulder. But somehow I still feel like a stone on me. The feeling that I had when I was struggling to go through every assignment and paper. Is it time for a break?

It's been a long day at work. Totally consumed. Feeling crossed at the same time.

I felt my head busting with what seem to be many enquiries but the fact that there's only one burdensome and demanding case. Lots of phone call from HK asking me this and that. I felt the pressure. I felt like an octopus. But a handicapped one. And I allow myself for a slice of chocolate for the day. Usuall it happens 2-3 days for a slice of chocolate. But I had more than that which didn't really help. Probably I was too stressed and pissed off.

Strangely at one point of time, when chocolate has lost it's effect, sub-consciously I was craving for something else and it kept playing in my head. A fag.

yea a fag. It just came to me. Sounds funny coming from me? I think so too. 'Cause I can't stop wondering why. I start to think of those guys which I see in the every morning or lunchtime or even after work, standing downstairs the office building chatting and smoking away. SO! That's when the smoking habit starts to kick in for most smokers. The first time you probably accompany them for the after lunch "dessert" and that time you still wonder why they smoke. De-stress they would say. The second time you thought of what they say and try it out for fun. Your first puff and you start coughing away. Third time you got the hang of it and might as well be a social smoker. Before you even know it, it has become a habit. An excuse to de-stress the unhealthy way.

With that thought, I laugh it away and thought of heading to the gym for a 1-hr sweat it all out cardio session. But I didn't have the proper footwear and ended late.

Now I'm lying comfortable on the bed, waiting to call it a day. Need some good rest. Waiting for the bf to book out and welcome him back to the life for the next days before booking into camp again.

Ciaoz peeps! Gd night!

Damn! am still in the office at this hour.

This whole legal separation thing is driving me nuts. There are so many things that can't be done and yet have to be done. Once the special request is granted and we're able to access it again. It's hell 'cause I've stuff that are not cleared in the system since last friday. Goodness I don't even dare to think about it.

It's friday tml. Hope it's a better day!

Cheers!

Long lost friends!

Haaa... it's a disaster in the office now. Coz of the migration of system. The legal separation between 2 banks that used to be under the same family.

But I've found my long lost friends! Thanks to the separation! Ailing and I are ecstatic!

It was the first thing Ailing tried accessing ytd when we came back for the testing since it was last banned! Immediately she msg me the good news! Finally! Contact to the outside world through MSN! =D

movie night

Just got back from movie with the bf. Watched G.I.Joe. It's been a long time since I went for movies. And after so long, it was a show worthwhile! If you have not catch it, you should!

If you're looking for...

action packed,you have it.
a little humor,you have it.
hot babes? I only saw 2 ladies in the show.
hot and sizzling bodies?! oh yea! there's a few in there. though not as many compared to "300".

It's sure a movie of the good triumph over the evil. I would give a 3.5 out of 5. hmmm... maybe 4. It can't be that perfect. Just that I felt it's worth my $10.50.

Anyhow it's bedtime! Hope I'll be able to wake up for some work-out after those cheesy nachos! =)

Night peeps! ciaoz!

crappy goodbye msg

I was clearing my office mail in preparation for the migration from lotus notes to microsoft outlook and I came across this mail which one of my ex-colleague, Hannah sent back in 07. Here it goes...

IF YOU CANT SEE,YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT?iF YOU DON'T,DONT ASK ME
Hey gal & gay,
Thank you so much for lunch & card!!!!!!!!!!i'm so touched!Almost into tears & knee...erm.... I mean tears...almost wet my ......also

Kinda of worried about Joc...AliSia,pls take care of her..& guys pls...be patient LIKE me,who always extend LOVE & PATIENT to people,ESPECIALLY to the NEEDY..Although at times s,O I mean ALL the times she is late but I know she don't really mean it.Right Joc?

Ligen,too bad I just get to know that you are a gay.You know I have so much "trick" to give you.Hence,we can always talk about it.I can't sms to you bcos you never give me you HP no!Even though I did asked,Weisan can be the witness.

Weisan,PLS,even thougth take it as I am begging you.DON"T FAINT ANYHOW.Why choose when people wants to chill out?Only chill out what...not that they are going for ROM.Remember,if you ever want to do it again,my hp is always OFF.yes,you did read correctly -OFF

Carlene,I don't know what to say about you bcos the look at you,always make one SPITLESS.
AliSia,continue to burning,I can see something coming out.....keep it out.

LiangDe,I always want to tell you this but I don't have the guts to do it...but after today,I realize you are a nice lady...so...UR NAME HOR..SOUND LIKE MAN's name.

ok ok .I don't want to say goodbye,we will still meet & MAKE SURE WE WILL!!!!!!! I really hate to leave here but I have no choice!

cheers!

Can't help but laugh. The meaniest goodbye msg from a ever irritating person. But always the person I can look for if every situation. Talking about that... I haven met her for a long long time.
Guess it's time since am already done with my studies!

Anyways! TGIF!

Nightmare

Think I had too much of Tess Gerritsen's books.

I had a nightmare last night. Dreamt that I was almost killed by someone.

More of like... gonna be be gruesomely killed. And woke up in a shock.

Thank God I woke up, if it continues... think I might just scream and wake his sister up. maybe the whole family.

Just finished work. Heading to gym! =)

Say goodbye to bluey tuesday!

It's 10.50pm now. But it feels later. Feels like a sunday though. A long weekend but I didn't really enjoy much. Time just past like that.

Friday: prayer meeting after work. And dinner was settled with crispy noodle.
Sat: Church,tuition and steamboat at night.
Sun: Church, his uncle's place for dinner and Daiso at IMM. Just love Daiso so much. It has practically everything. I never let my trip go wasted each time I'm there.

As for today, did nothing much. I was quite upset about that. We had a quarrel. It always happen before he book in and regrets would always fill me.His effort to humor me will always be reciprocate with my coldness. Feeling bad, I'll try to be the understanding gf again and not let the temporary separation leaving both of us feeling upset.

Anyways we bid goodbye unwillingly. As our gaze met, I just knew what we wanted but you were in your uniform. And each time it's replaced with a tap on my shoulder. For a hug.

Suddenly it seems like a long week for myself and once again the feeling of dragging myself to work is back.

I was dreaming again just now... it was a beautiful scene played in my head and I could feel the happiness.

1hr and 18mins ago, Singapore just celebrated it's 44th birthday. A nation wide celebration. Celebration for her success. Her recognition over the world.

44 years may not seem that long. But for a small country like us, a little dot on the world map, it didn't came easy and it was the hard work of the pioneer leaders that we are leaving in comfort today.

From little to many.
From seas and grass to land filled with many skyscrapers.
A once dirty river and land which has now turn to a clean country and amazingly acknowledged worldwide.
A place for the youth olympic games.
From nothing to something and even being one of the top centres of finance.
And what's more? With the integrated resort coming up what would Singapore turn to become.

It's been 44 blessed years for Singapore. Blessed with good leaders and their foresight. Blessed with harmony among races. And the riches and prosperity it was given.

Now the time has past and life is once again resume after the joyous celebration. And now we'll all have work towards a better 45 years.

12:34pm is arriving. And if you guys have already rec'd sms or email from friends, you would know what i'm talking abt. if not...

Do u know?

At 12hr 34 minutes 56 seconds on 7th august this year, the time and date will be

12:34:56 07/08/09

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 this will never happen in your life again!

Amaze your friends, be the first to tell them!

Anyways I would email some of my friends at work everyday. Just in case work gets abit crazy.

oh when I was typing this I rec'd another email. The chinese version from my friend in hk.

今天12点34分56秒是一个神奇的时刻, 它显示为12:34:56 07/08/09. 123456789在我们的有生之年再也不会出现 , 祝您一切顺利,身体健康 ,工作愉快^^

Back to sending emails during working hours.. and yea... Ligen happens to be one of them.

and here goes our conversation. we were talking about how busy I am and we were deciding for a date to head down wala.

Me:
hahha... tat's y my friends are always scolding me.
need to pre-book in advance... how abt make it on the 22/08. 15/08 i can't...

LG:
yah, maybe i should start scolding you as well. haha.
and you know whats the most irritating thing.
there was this once when we confirm the venue and date for wala, and when i ask you about it.
you said "HUH? whats happening on sat?" wah thats the ultimate man seriously.haha

Me:
oh shit man!!
serious! i can't rmb that... seeshh... u must have really been not that impt in my life... =)

LG:
oh well,
hey wala is not just you and me alright, it includes dean ws wm too.
oh well, at least i know i am significant to u, thats what matters!
wahahahahahahaha~

Me:
you meant insignificant? hahahah...

LG:
you know i'm significant.
stop deceiving yourself. you arent doing any justice to yourself you know. ;)

Me:
wonder who's the one that is deceiving himself...

LG:
who who who? where what when whom which? ;)

Me:
see u're doing it again... haiz...

As usual he went...

LG:
ohh shuddup~ haha!

Me: =)

See the reason why email is so impt now... Coz our co.... well not exactly our co., ban us from MSN. It's the only way to communicate with the outside world while working.

A little interest or laughter when work just sucks...

Blessed thurday!

A blessed thursday. A joyful day. Bless by the the big guy up there.

I passed my supp. paper! I was ecstatic when I saw the email. I just wanted to dance, shout and sing! The feelings were just filling within me. Overwhelming. But I can't do so in the office. So I was just dancing on my seat and within me. And letting joy to carry me away with the wind in my beautiful garden. Of cause in my imagination.

This verse best describe how I feel now. From the time when studying for exams just turn so tough all of a sudden. Worries that filled me when I was preparing for my supp. paper.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

Psalm 30:11-12

It was a battle won after 1.5 years. Indeed it calls for a celebration.

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

Once again weekends just passed without a sound. Without a blast.

Time spent with him was short. And we did nothing much for the weekend except for having lots of fried food. I can hear the machines calling me in the gym. I drag going gym on mondays 'cause it's always fill with people due to the overeating during the weekends. But other days are occupied.

He's back in camp and probably sound asleep.

Picking a fight with him was so much easier in the past but now I'll have to think twice. Just the other day we had a little quarrel and it sort of worries me. Isn't that the time when relationship starts to change during enlistment? But a simple sorry makes everything loving again.

It's kind of a bitter-sweet day. It's our 2yr anniversary but he's back in camp. But none of us really mention anything about it or rather it slip our mind. Just like how we always did. The exact number of days doesn't really matter I guess.

Currently reading "The Sinner" by Tess Gerritsen. If you like thriller, this is a must read. I started reading the book on friday and am halfway through the book already. And I guess it's gonna be another late night with the book. =)

At the bf's house now.

Came over to wash Butsie's cage if not his sister will have to wash 3 cages.

Was the supp. paper today. I don't know what to say. Feel more at ease but hope that I can pass this paper. It's the last one already. Hope I don't have to re-module again. I'll need to pay 1.9k. It's insane.

Staying for dinner at his place. It's finally tues. Can't wait for friday to come. His booking out day. Miss him terribly the past couple of days. Didn't know that I would miss someone so much. Or even need someone so much before. It's just weird to not have him around me. But I'll slowly get used to it. oh well we'll have to.

But I don't really look forward to work tml, after taking a break for 16days. The thought of work just sucks but money... need me to say any further... Need to get the engine running again.

Gonna laze in his room before dinner... then it'll be time to head home and get ready for work tml... =(

Certainly hope I can wake up.

He left this morning at 8am to CMPB and they sent him to camp. Didn't slept well the whole night 'cause he was still not feeling well. Having diarrhea and chest pain which got me really worried. He was still having diarrhea when he reported to cmpb this morning.

I wonder how is he now. Resting or going through crazy trainings. Hope he's doing fine. Will keep him in prayer. Anyways some photo from KL & BKK.

"Garden" in KL.

Photos with his nephew.

The super long tissue prata at a super cheap price.

BKK.

Not much photo taken in BKK. 'Cause most of the time it was spent on shopping and walking! I'm so glad to have a bf that loves shopping!

There were some small arguments during the BKK trip which I really regret 'cause I was the unreasonable one. But it made me cherish him even more knowing that he's putting effort to be patient with me and trying to learn more about God.

I remember on monday night when little pudding die, I was crying like nobody's business and washing up her cage. which I rarely do it. Most of the time he'll do it though it's our pet. But he never ever complain that he's doing everything even for our guinea pig, Butsie. I thought he wasn't that upset after all. I kind of doubt it 'cause even the slightest abnormality of our pet drives him really crazy and worried, and the next sentence that comes out from his mouth would be "shall we take her to the vet?".

After praying for him to be ready for enlistment the next day, I saw tears coming down his cheek. Finally.... who wouldn't have miss the cute little pudding. With all her stupid and funny actions.

R.I.P pudding.

Got back from some crazy shopping in Bangkok with the bf on friday.

And we sure did paid a high price for this trip. Fall sick and still recovering.

My poor bf was down with fever the day before he was supposed to be enlist into police academy and was sent back home instead. Time just tick away and his 2 day mc is up tml. He's gotta report tml. Gonna miss him for 10days.

well... after some crazy shopping it's time to prepare for my supp. paper next tuesday. How sad. My block leave is gonna end in 4 more days. Isn't it a tragic!! Getting back to work after 10days of leave. It's like trying to get the engine started once again. Going back to the fast pace life.

Having your alarm waking you up from your beauty sleep, like it's screaming "it's time to work".

oohhh... that feeling. What a drag. oh well I'll just make good use of the last few days and enjoy it.

met up with mei,wan chien, ivan and james today...

Dinner at fish and co.

Dessert at Canele.

And we called it a day. Upload the photos soon mei!

It's the bf's driving test day.

I certainly hope he'll pass... 'cause it'll benefit me alot! =)

I'm already planning for late night outs without paying for cabs anymore!