Deception. The world is full of it.

I've learnt. Not to trust.

My Drunkards experience.

I'm not sure how many of us have had experience with drunkards before and how their small little actions could trigger the laughter in you. I've always thought that getting yourself drunk was the most unglam state to get into. All the puking,shouting and blabbering that doesn't make any cow sense at all.

Till date. I've seen 3 man. erm... 1 man and 2 guys, drunk.

The first person and the most unexpected one was my dad. That was a hilarious one. I remember studying in the room with my sisters and my parents came home with my auntie. And they told us our dad was drunk. No one actually believed till we saw it with our own eyes.

For the first time I saw my dad drunk and being carried into the house. He just sat on the kitchen floor totally knock out but still blabbering... Vulgarities in hainanese! I'll never forget that.

Come on!! It's my dad!! The father that was so stern and strict to us when we were younger. The one that look like a monster when he holds the cane up. Is now seated on the kitchen floor half-dead and blabbering vulgarities.

We could do nothing except for standing there,stare at him and laughing.

The second experience was one of my classmate. Which I think most prob we would just give it a miss cause it was nothing much as compared to the first and third experience, which was yesterday.

And I've learnt a lesson. "How to babysit a drunkard".

Drunkard babysitted yesterday-swee wah.

T'was his 21st birthday! I've already wished him so not another time. For the first time in my whole damn 6 years, I saw him PISSED DRUNK. No need for more description of how a drunkard would behave. =) It's his 21st!

Conclusion?

I resent drunkards. For some reason.

3 hours of sleep was what I had. And I'm starving now and my eyelids are getting heavier. Pizza is taking it's own sweet time. HUNGER WAITS FOR NO FOOD!

ok. Probably that didn't make a single sense. But it's FOOD and SLEEP that I can think of now.


I wanna get this!

The one and only issue that has been weighing me down is now a burden off.

Submitted my application for Uni after thinking and considering for a long time.

It wasn't easy but it wasn't that tough either.

Decision making always makes me feel like a bitch. I hate myself for being indecisive and at those moments. I would hope for someone to make a decision for me. But too bad. Sometimes adults,i mean family and relatives,tell you to make your own decision. And when you finally made up your mind and tell them watcha wanna do. They would start giving comments and say it's not good. There's no future. And they would like to end the sentence with.

"I'm just telling you. Giving you comments. But ultimately,it's you to decide. It's your life, you don't live under my shawdows."

AND! They would give that face.

So what am I suppose to do?

That's how it's like in my family. They like to do that.

But hell no am I gonna do what I'm doing in poly. No more finance! NO no no!

That was my first big thing in my life at the moment. For now it's just waiting.

Work was fine this work. I knock off before 7.30pm almost everyday! What more can I ask for? More pay rise?!

Certainly hope so.

Sick sick sick... I'm feeling sick.

Anyways after thinking for so long and searching. Getting lost and confused in between. I've finally made up my mind.

Watched "The pursuit of Happyness" yesterday night. Well not a bad show. An inspiration show.

"Don't ever let anyone stop you from doing what you dream. Not even me."

That was what Will Smith said to his son in the show.

The cutest dude in the whole show!

Next thing.

Barclays and ABN Amro intend to merge.

Barclays, ABN Amro in talks to create banking giant
Posted: 20 March 2007 0444 hrs

ONDON : Dutch bank ABN Amro and British banking group Barclays on Monday confirmed they were in "early and exploratory" talks over a possible merger to create the world's fifth-largest bank.

Shares in ABN Amro had soared 9.6 percent earlier on press reports that Barclays wanted to make an offer to buy the Dutch group.

"Barclays PLC confirms that it is in exclusive preliminary discussions with ABN Amro Holding NV concerning a potential combination of the two organisations which will create value for both sets of shareholders," Barclays, the third-biggest British bank, said in a statement.

"These discussions are the result of careful consideration to create a highly complementary partnership. The talks are at an early and exploratory stage and there can be no certainty that they will lead to a transaction."

A takeover by Barclays of ABN Amro would create a group with a market capitalisation of more than US$160 billion (120 billion euros), making it the world's fifth-biggest behind Citigroup, Bank of America, both of the United States, China's ICBC and British rival HSBC.

The combined enterprise would have 47 million clients and employ 220,000 people in 50 countries.

Analysts viewed a tie-up as being positive for ABN Amro which is under pressure from some of its shareholders who want to break it up.

"After recent activist investors pushing ABN to break-up, a merger with a highly respected bank as Barclays may not be something they could refuse," Dresdner Kleinwort analysts James Eden and Ian Gordon said in a research note before the announcement.

The Dutch bank, which has big interests in emerging economies, is facing break-up demands from hedge fund investors The Children's Investment Fund (TCI) and Toscafund, which want management to sell assets separately to make profits for shareholders.

Meanwhile, analysts said that Barclays could also face competition for ABN Amro from other banks, including BNP Paribas or Societe Generale in France, US-based Wachovia and Spain's Banco Santander Central Hispano. They are all thought to be interested in acquiring parts of the ABN Amro empire.

Barclays's stock dropped 0.8 percent to 677 pence on Monday.

"The value of ABN broken up is more than the whole. Royal Bank of Scotland or Wachovia could buy ABN's US and Treasury businesses, while Santander could buy its Brazilian and European retail banking businesses," said Magnus
Mathewson, banks analyst at stockbroker Hitchens Harrison.

A deal between Barclays and ABN Amro was first mooted two years ago but was torpedoed by the chief executive of the Dutch bank, Rijkman Groenink.

Groenink had insisted then that cultural, legislative and governance differences meant that ABN Amro would be the "junior" partner in the deal and would be "absorbed" by Barclays.

The market capitalisation of Barclays is currently 44.3 billion pounds while ABN Amro is 39.1 billion pounds, so the difference in size persists.

Barclays said last month that its net profit surged to a record 4.571 billion pounds last year, while ABN Amro announced a rise in profit of 7.6 percent to 4.78 billion euros for 2006. - AFP/de.

Question,question,question.

I'm sick of it and am tired of it for the day. All my energy are drained thinking and thinking.

Thinking about my future. Thinking what I should do.

I'm trying so hard to relax now and stop thinking at least for today.

So vexed over it.

I'm feeling kind of sucky,down and irritated. About what I don't know. Probably it's just coming back.

My mood just took a 360 degree turn when I came back.

It was calm and peaceful at first.

Out out out. I need to get out of this place.

Been thinking about my future. My studies.

The thought of studying overseas was one of the options in my list but money has always got to get into the picture and spoil everything. And so from studying overseas,I changed my mind to working overseas. At least I'm going over for a source of income.

Question: Can I survive all alone out there?

yes I can. It's a challenge.

The other thing is to move out and stay. why? Cause I wanna be independent.

Ok bullshit. I don't wanna stay with my sisters that's the reason. Partially. Probably if I move out and see them once in awhile, I'll learn how to appreciate them for who they are. It takes a person to realise how important someone else is when you lose it. I'm doing it that way and I think it's better. Probably our relationship would improve slightly.

I've always tell my friends don't be so mean to your siblings but I don't practice what I preach. It's true. Cause I'm like that to them and I don't want it to happen to my friends.

I hate to poke my nose into my sisters' affairs and try to tell myself that what they do has got nothing to do with me. Egoistic as it may seems. Selfish I may appear to people. But I'm leaving it the way it is cause life would be so much simplier and easier.

Work was good today. Left early and headed back to SP band to made payment for the Japan trip.
Yup am going Japan with SP band in June.

Going back just brought back so many memories and they will playing "Highlights from Chess".

Oh boy how I miss those players when we're in year 1. Had so much fun!

Caught up with some peeps, had a really short talk but t'was good enough.

Dinner was settled at Holland V with aud and weiloong. As usual Jo was missing. So we've gotta plan another outing.

Took time off tml from work to give tuition in the morning. Feeling so guilty but it makes me even more guilty that my student is not really doing well. Anyways it's an hour only and work only comes in after 10. So it would be just in time when i'm in.

Gonna catch the a movie with Swee wah tml. =)



All set to see some hot dudes!!! =)

The sound of my alarm intruded into my precious sleep and gave me the worse feeling I could ever wake up with.

I dragged myself out of my bed and walk sleepily to the bathroom to take my bath while thinking what would be the attire for the day. And so I decided to go for a lazy choice. One that I could just take from the cupboard and not iron.

Put it on but didn't exactly felt great.

Just when you know that monday blues are terrible enough, work has always gotta poke it's "nose" into it.

The HK system that I was using to process my transactions were super duper slow!! How slow? Slow enough that if it was a living thing, I would strangle him to death with all my patience already ran out. For 11 freaking hours, I had to bear with the system. Everybody was frustated.
And I had a high volume today, definitely more than 100, and processing alone. I stayed till 1015pm.

Am so tired and worn out now. Gonna have a good sleep. It's yet another day tml.

Okies before going to bed. Some photos to share when I went to bintan for team building.

View from our room

The swimming pool.

And yes!!! Our room!!!

Despite that,I still went ahead to take a photo there. =)

My best roomie for 2 nights!

The nice and soothing "Killing me softly" from my windows media player is getting me so relax. And getting tipsy and lay back with the Susan wong's voice.

Jazz,Jazz. The wonderful relaxing effect it has on such a quiet night with just me and my lappie.

Time now is 11.58pm. Been wanting to update about what was going on in my life since 9? or maybe earlier. ha... but chatting and "Ugly Betty" has took it away. =)

So I'm back here trying to update this blog of mine.

Pretty good week. Work was ok. Knocking off slightly earlier as compared to the other times. 9pm. Not much of early I can talk about but still hoping for a better change.

Mid-march is coming and I've yet to do something so important. That is to sign up for Uni. I've everything planned. No. It was changing and changing. But now that I've decided, I'm afraid of taking a step forward.

The initial plan was to sign up and do full-time in marketing and leave ABN in july.Now it's to take part-time in marketing and continue to work full-time in ABN. But the problem is that I'm not sure to go for a course that goes along with my interest or a course that would guarantee a bright career prospect.

Probably interest would be a better choice. Anyways anyhow, we'll see. Gotta get it done real soon.

Anyways went to watch a concert at Esplande with Arvin yesterday. Performance by "Tower of Power". Really good band. Good vocalist,drummer. Every one were good. The crowd was good too. Everybody was dancing. "Young at heart" was what I could see yesterday.

The kind of music from dreamgirls. Found better choice of music. Thanks to Arvin's recommendation. Wouldn't have had such a good time. Made my 60 bucks worth it all.


And yeah some pics from "Dreamgirls".

Boy oh boy!! I love Keith Robinson!! They should just change the roles of Jamie Foxx(Jimmy) and Keith Robinson (C.C). But well come to think of it. I think I just had a change of mind! Cause in the show Jimmy was some big time arse! So C.C is too nice. We'll jsut leave it that way. He being the nice,charming and talented songwrite who produce music with da'soul! =)

Oh man. I love Blacks! Auds love whites.

Love this scence. Jennifer Hudson(played Effie white) was so passionate. Really touching scence. Being abandon and helpless with a lose of direction. Love the character,Effie.

Okies tat's all folks!

Ciaoz! =D

Don't say I didn't try... I did k. =)

Anyways, dad bought dinner back for mum and I. And since I rarely see them and have dinner with them. Thought it would be good to have dinner with them in the kitchen since I'm home early.
I'm not the kind who can sit and just eat in the kitchen. I need TV!! I need to watch and eat at the same time.

I know it's bad for stomach. Indigestion. But sorry! It's a habit already. Hard to kick off. Never want to anyways.

So hard for trying. When they finished their food, I'm not even a 1/4 done. =)

In the end I still ended up in front of the tv...

I just SNAPPED my long hair! =)

yup your eyes are not playing tricks on you.

I snapped it real short. How short?

It's just really short. =D

A MAJOR BIG change.

Finally march has come. Have been in abn for 7 mths plus and how time flies.

Thinking back... I didn't know how I could survive those times when I was so stressed up and doing near 200 transactions alone. Staying to 10+ 11 almost everyday. Any healthy human would just fall sick. And I was almost on the verge of collapsing and giving up.

But well things are back in order now. Going back at 7 or 8 is more possible.

Probably God knew that I could not claim OT anymore from this month onwards. And have upgraded from giving one month notice to 3 months notice if I ever wanna quit.

No more OT claims and joining the 3 months notice for resignation club doesn't sound good at all huh.

But it would look good on my resume in future. Something that I can be proud of.

So I'm not sure if this promotion is good or not.

Well... will see how it goes. Guess it won't be that bad with God around.

Haven been updating for quite awhile. Busy with work and everything. Leave was well spent doing things that I should.

Had a good break... a long weekends last week. Took half day on friday and full day on monday. Monday was well spent with Jess. She's been here for almost a month and I haven got much time to spend with her since she came back from Perth.

Took the day off. And just like the good o'days, we went shopping like crazy. I spent like 200 over bucks buying.... a pair of jeans,a skirt, a wallet, 2 tops, 2 bags and 3 watches. if I didn't miss out anything it should be all. There was supposed to be a dinner gathering with her brother,my sisters and a couple of our friends. But thing just went the other way and in the end it was cancelled. And we went separate ways to meet our friends.

Wat else did I do.

Watched "Dreamgirls". DAMN! Hell of a good show! I wanna watch it again! well tat's if I have the time to. But I'm so gonna get the sound track. Best show ever.

Okies... gonna zionk out.

I'm not sure to be happy or not.

If happiness was water... Then there isn't a single drop of it in me.

Somehow I'm just not happy. Not satisfied. It's not worth the amount of work I'm doing.

Now I just have to be double efficient.

Work,yes to my amazement,it ended at 7.30pm sharp.

And the bus came at exactly 7.35pm. Headed home for a bath before I went out to catch a moive. Watched "Ghost Rider" with Swee Wah. Not a bad show. But I simply could take the volume. It was way too loud for me and we were sitting to near.

But overall it's still ok. Tired but come on! I finished early like once in a blue moon! I had to go have some life.

Okies. Tired.Seeing stars already.

Ciaoz!

Was expecting a massive traffic jam down at Keppel Road this morning since it's the first day of work after chinese new year. And people might still be in the holiday mood. Well at least for me it is. But it turn out otherwise,the traffic for smooth sailing and there wasn't even a slightest jam to talk about.

And I suddenly thought to myself. Oh shit. Am I supposed to start work today. Was it tomorrow? I didn't want to dress up and reach the office just to realise that I've made a mistake in coming in to work today.

I was hoping I was right but too bad. It ain't that good.

Despite staying home to rest for the past 2 days, I am still very sleepy now. Reason?
I slept at 2+ last night.

And now. Even the fax machine which has rested for so many days is down. Probably everybody and everything needs abit of warming up. I missed the bus in the morning and had to take a cab or I may just reach miserably at 9.45am. 9.30am is already bad enough. So I took a cab and guess what. The cabbie needs warming up too. T'was a lady cabbie. From the look and the smell of her cab, I reckon she was new. Plus the fact that she didn't know her way from my house to ORQ. Given that it was only a short distance and most cabbie would have know how to reach here.

I was thinking of catching some sleep while on the way to work. I mean that's what all of us would do after a late night sleep. But sad to say. I could not. She could not even read the signboards or road boards clearly.

Was rather annoyed but tried to be patient. After all, everybody has their first time. =)

I'm starting to think the break was to get prepared for the battle today. I have not done anything for today. I did but it was from last week. I have a bad feeling and I'm quite sure about it. Emails are coming in. Incoming logs has reached 34 and given the time now., it's way too early for this figure.

What's more can I expect.

My leave on friday!

The break that I finally long for is gonna be over soon, that is in less than 24 hours time.

But this break just came right on time.

Before that, Happy Chinese New Year Peeps!! Hope you guys had a great one! I did. Lots of sleeping and resting at home. Just lazing around.

It's the 3rd day of chinese new year and I've finished all my house visiting on the first day! =D
Didn't collect much of hong baos since I've only been to my uncle's house. And the thing I was looking forward to for this cny wasn't the hong baos, it was more of the rest and sleep I could get.

Work has totally took all my time that I didn't not had time to spring clean and given the mess in my room, I knew I need the time badly.

And so friday I finished work at 9.30pm, I definitely could not do it cause I was dead beat. I came back feeling so tired and really wanting to give this job up. But a good sleep does it all.

And thank God, I didn't have to go back to work on saturday. Boy! It was new year's eve! So it was spent packing the room. Phew. Lucky me. I had my cousins to help me. So it wasn't that bad.More hands, twice the speed. Did all the vaccum,mopping and cleaning. Didn't really do a thorough one. But good enough as compared to before. And I realised I have so many new clothes that I have not washed!!! Some have been there for almost a year!!! And it's still there!! oh God!!! I need to really do something to it. That is! Washed them soon!!!

I could almost fall asleep while packing. All of us were tired and sleepy! Started packing from 1pm and just in time for our reunion dinner, without taking a bath yet! =D

We had steamboat this year... again... But we never got sick of it. It's fun. And another thing that never change every year is... We would never fail to quarrel with each other. But I would say it's kind of tame this year. It lasted for awhile. But not as bad as the previous year.

And without fail, our programme after the dinner would be to join the crowd after dinner. But sadly, this year i was too tired and had the only intention to zonk out at home. No matter how my sisters persuaded me to go, I just rejected them. That they just got to bed. Cause they knew they failed.

Did I ever tell you I have a soft spot for friends?

If I didn't, now you know.

Jerm called me at exactly 15 mins before the clock strikes 12! To ask me to go chinatown!!! I told her I was tired and I really need rest... blah blah... but like I said. I can't reject a friend. So we went instead. Was supposed to wait for my cousins and his friend to come home for a game of monopoly. So in the end change of plan. My sisters,cousins, Jerm and I, a total of 7 of us went to chinatown. But it was quite a bore this year, probably we went too late. It wasn't as squeezy and I didn't manage to get anything at all. ok except for 3 pair of earrings. That's all. It was so bored.

We stayed there for only 1-2 hours, went to look for my cousin's friend whose working at party world ktv. Talked to him for awhile and headed to look for swee wah.

We met, we talked and look at each other. Guess what?! We didn't know where to go or what to do! We stood by the road thinking and thinking and thinking.

Final decision?! To head to my house for monopoly! Imagine 7 people in the middle of the night! No not middle! It was already 3.30am! At that time, we were still laughing and shouting loudly!! For your info,my house isn't that big. But we... no they! had fun. I was practically too tired to play the game. Paired up with swee wah. But thanks to him! Before we even start the game, he said he had a feeling we would lose. And thanks thanks! We did. So I left him battling alone. Was kind of worried that he wasn't comfortable at my house. But turn out otherwise. He had so much fun, that I left him there to go to bed. Luckily he knew Jerm and my sisters.

So yup... that was my new year. I slept at 5 in the morning and woke up at 8.30 am!! It was a sunday had to head to church before the visiting starts! =)

Headed to uncle's place for lunch and saw my baby niece!! Oh my!! She's so cute!! And so FAT! haha... but it's ok. And I fed her... boy she's so heavy that my arms was getting numb... and it was quite a big bottle of milk. My uncle said I'm qualified to be a mother already. Passed the test! ;)

But seriously, I'm not sure if i'm up to it when I really have one. It's different.

Headed to my grandma's after that... stayed there till I met my mother's side uncles,aunts and cousins to catch a movie. "Follow the law" was what we watched. Funny. Very typical Jack neo's movie, very Singaporean.

Finished the show at 11 plus. And that's it. I could not take it any longer already. With the work and amount of sleep for the past few weeks. I was really getting giddy already. So my uncle drove me home while the rest of them headed to Marina to walk and spent their time at starbucks.

I came home,bathed and just fell asleep on my bed.

And for yesterday. Nothing much. Cause I just stayed home to sleep and rest.

Nothing interesting.

Okies.. I just woke up 2 hours ago... now I'm sleepy so I'm gonna take a short nap. =)

And ya... Will photo blog in a couple of days time!

It's been a long and torturous week. Work was like fighting a battle. A race. A race against time that victory is seldom on the same side as human.

For 2 weeks. 2 freaking weeks! Out of 5 days, I would go home at 10+ for 4 days. I'm barely hanging on anymore. Mentally and physically, every single energy inside me is taken away. Sucked dry by ABN.

My health is giving way soon. And I know that. I get giddy and my gastric is acting up more often recently. I couldn't go to sleep until 3am last night, cause the pain was unbearable.

I'm barely hanging on anymore. Trying hard to brace myself up!

Before my morning has really started, I already had so many things to do and so many problems... and the meaning behind this?

That is... I can't knock off early today... which is quite a high possibility.. since we are having a meetin now! to 1pm... thanks! 2 hours gone!

The bad thing of finishing work early the day before is that you're never able to go home early the very next day!

So I did enjoy the once-in-a-blue-moon privileage to knock off yesterday and I headed to bought my bedsheets cause I don't think I'm gonna have time this weekend. And definitely not next week during days cause of work and plus the fact it's gonna be near CNY, we are expecting lots of payments. And CNY is next weekends!

Red packets! Red packets!!! Bonus!! Oops... =x

I didn't just say that!! I didn't!!

Yes I did!! haha...can't wait!

Anyways yup... I finally bought my bedsheet with a kind companion, Mr Swee wah! Actually maybe not... probably he just wanted to take a breather from studying that's why he was willing to accompany me... haha... =D

I spent like 95 bucks at Aussino for my bedsheets. But am satisfied, can't wait to change it and sleep on it...

Now I forgot the purpose of this entry already. haiz.. see what work can do to someone.

Ciaoz peeps!

Just came back from lunch and am so lazy to start work but just sleep.

My jaws are feeling so tired after the 2 days of chewing gums to keep myself awake during working hours. To keep those eyes of mine wide open so that I won't missed out any single instructions.

It's only a wednesday but I have been working till 10+ for the past 2 days. With such a start,I'm not sure how is it gonna go for the next few days. I'm supposed to meet up with swee wah but have been going back on my words. Now for that I really have to apologise pal!

And CNY is not gonna make things go any better.

I'm tired and really need a break.

Somehow I feel that my health is deteriorating. I'm getting giddy spells all the while. And on monday I could almost faint from the gastric pain that was overbearing since lunchtime. Maybe fainting/collapsing won't be a good idea. At least I get a longer MC to stay home for a peaceful rest. hmm... sounds like I'm dying soon.

Anyways it's wednesday, hope it's a better day!

GO OFF EARLY!!!

The weekends are finally here. Phew what a week at work, it's always like going for a battle. So much to follow up since Eanna has gone on leave. A week of leave in fact. Hope things settle in a little and go on smoothly as we're short of the manpower if anyone goes on leave.

As usual, I'm working my arse off. Being the only pathetic soul doing the HK box, while 3 others are doing SG box. And i'm starting to feel tired and irritated, and starting to complain more often. It's not the work i'm complaining about, it's my colleague. His hissing and noise are getting on my nerves. It startes from when I step into the office at 930 till he finished everything. And now I can't the least be bothered to talk to him anymore.

He likes to not pick up his calls and it would be route to me. Like yesterday, there was this poor lady waiting for him to fax something to him! The lady sounded so pathetic! It's a friday! Ya we have work to do but she doesn't! Why can't he just get it done and over and let the lady go home. That was the first call. Half an hour later!! Imagine the girl waited and waited! I would just bloody come up and look for him! He refused to pick up and it was routed to me. The worse thing he had the cheek to tell me.

"Jocelyn, if the call is route to you( HELLO! Isn't it obvious it will EVENTUALLY route to me), say KC left!"

Damn! You bet I was so pissed off! I didn't even answer or picked up that stupid call!

I mean how much time can faxing take up?! And he was almost done with his work and I'm NOT!

He's just the typical kind of person who show favourtism. Thank God he's not my boss. Sometimes I really pity those people he shouted at. Like yesterday.

I better stop talking about him or else I'll just list out all the bad comments I have about him. Not that nice.

Like a flash, the first month of Jan 2007 has ended. Chinese new year is just round the corner. hmm... new clothes?! maybe not... we'll see about that. Oh and it's definitely the month of love.

About that I've something to say. But not now... cause i'm running late!

Bathing time!