Things were supposed to get better,especially when I'm on leave today. But reality seems to be playing a trick on me.

As usual I reached office at 9.15am yesterday morning. But I didn't start work till 11.30am. My pc was down. I couldn't log in to my intranet, my shared files are gone, my daily processing system was impossible to access too. Basically over the weekend, my pc network was gone, for some reason.

And unwilling I called up the "helpless" desk. And thanks to ABN fantastic idea of outsourcing. They called but no one came to help. So I could only ask for help from the IT outside the room. And oh well, though it took long. He did after all save half of my day back for me.

Work was piling up and up. And nothing was done. And I had to skip lunch. So all I had ytd was pancake,chicken sandwich,one small chocolate muffin heavenly made by auntie jenny and a hot cup of chocolate.

I didn't stop working from 1130 to 830pm. Boy. That was work for ytd. Every thing just gotta turn out bad.

Anyways I met up with swee wah ytd and we watched "Step up".

Seriously, in my opinion, on a range of 1-5 stars if I could give 6 I will. It has this power of telling you to. "Hey! Get up from your seat and start moving peeps!"

But well that's my opinion.

Okies I've gotta bath. It's Thailand in a couple hours of time!

I hope I'll be able to come back in a piece despite some political unrest there!!!

Ciaoz peeps!!

14/11/06

I have lots to blog, lots to share but here I am now sitted in front of my laptop. Not knowing what to say or type. The last time I blog was probably 3 weeks ago.

And wow it's seems like a long week. Work has totally drain every single of my energy. What's left of the little energy is used for tuition and meeting up with friends during the weekends.

Work has seem to turn to the better side nowadays. I'm back to going home at 8+. And leaving time for tuition during the weekends instead of squeezing it all in the weekends.

It just seems that my life has become so routine.

Oh well not exactly. A whole set of meal always end with a nice and sweet,delicious dessert. Making it interesting and colourful. Though it might cause some weight-gaining situation but we all deserve to indulge in sinful treats. ",)

Looking at the cheese cake in the fridge is good enough. Tasting it might turn out otherwise.

Anyways being in Abn for almost 4 months, I've seen almost like 7-8 people leaving. It gives low morale to the people. And just when things ain't getting anywhere better, Payments & Receipts and Treasury merged. My nice lady supervisor was swapped over to Treasury and I'm gonna have the most not gentleman supervisor. But so far I've not gotta report to him so life's good till date.

That's not the point. I saw lydia and teck seng talking to Jack and another girl in the meeting room today. I reckon that both of them wanted to quit since Jack ever mention to me that he wanted to tender but was told to thought it over just last week. So I guess everybody is up to their neck already.

When I tell them,anyone, that I ever tender and withdraw after that. All of them would give me one kind of look. The "why" look.

But the funny thing is that I never knew how resolve or take away the "why" from them. I could not give an answer. It's something that I can't express out myself. I just knew that I felt un-safe when I made that decision. If you ever have such feeling, you'll understand what I mean. Though I'm tired and working late, but somehow I'm happy.

And I've learn something. People may come and go due to the work stress, the working time. But that doesn't means you'll have to follow. It's how versatile you are. How adaptive you are and how you look at every single situation.

Friends asked me why don't you get another job. It's too tiring. But where am I gonna find a job is willing to pay 1.7k diploma holder with grades that sucks but a merit in cca?

It's not gonna be long term cause no matter how. Stuides come first. Degree come first. I'll complete it before I really step into the next stage of my life.

But the first most important lesson for me to learn is to stop spending like there's no tml!

I'm going thailand next week! =.="

Oh man! It was the most embarrassing moment of my life today! I've never blush like that before! Rmb there was this cute guy I mention like few mths back at SB night?

Yes I've got his number,his msn and friendster. Crap man! I can't believe this is happening. Went to watch their band perform, it was fab. Just that the others can't stop teasing us! And shit! I was trying so hard to deny that I was blushing! And the worse thing was he was sitting opp me while having dinner at mac.

Ok it doesn't mean anything. Though I do find that he's cute.

But well I'm still happy. Happy to know a new friend. or rather friends!

It's KTV session tml!!!

Oh anyways I've been very happy recently cause two of my students did well for exams. Nini was promoted from NA to Express! Imagine as a tutor the sense of satisfaction! My efforts of teaching till 12 mid-night paid off. Qiao Ting maths improved from a C to A1!

What more can I ask for? Oh maybe I can't . For Yolanda to improve more, to get more than border line pass.

23/10/06

Hello folks! It's time for some updates. But we'll just skip mon to thurs. And jump to every weekend. I can't really rmb what I've done for the past few weekends. Oh well, one thing I can rmb is spending almost 100 over bucks every weekends.

And from mon to thurs I get stuck in that stupid place! Ever since we've moved to the new place. I've been staying later and later. The whole of last week I finish work at 9+... What's new. Like today I left at 10plus.

Somethings need to be done. Oh well! Karen! Heard that. She just can't be bothered.

Anyways let's skip work! What's so nice about it.

But I do love my weekends! Meeting up with friends. Shopping like some rich tai-tai. How I wish I was.

Met up with ruben and halim one of the weekends. Went for dinner and mustafa. I don't know everytime we meet, we would go there. We just simply enjoy it I guess. But t'was nice. Bitching, laughing... haha...

And last friday I met up with jo,audrey, weiloong and afiq... We went to makansutra. Oh the food was fab! Or maybe probably cause I needed some console after a hard day's work. The meeting was fantastic and nice. Updated them on my small little office "romance"! haha... And audrey just can't stop asking me to get the courier guy's number! HEY! I want to k!! But how!!! He's like gone. And it's gonna be the silmmest chance ever to bump into him again! I just know he's at Great Eastern!

Right. Now i'm thinking about him and those short little walks "together". This sounds so silly. And they just kept pushing me, pscycho-ing me. Disturbing. And Miss andrey said that she thinks it's right. That's why she's asking me to do so.

OKIES! If I have the chance I will!!

And sunday was waking up day! I bought a puma bag for 99 bucks! A top and a bottom that added up to 159.90 bucks! Yes shits! So dead!! I'm gonna control! And I'm dead serious!! Control! Control!!!

I guess that's all. Probably more. But I'm slpy!

Well, it's a public holiday tml!! not sure how you guys gonna spend it! But listen to my good plan!

I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK!!

My fellow ladies and gentlemen! It gives me great honour to annouce to you that I'm officially an auntie!

My cousin gave birth to a baby girl yesterday at 5.36a.m! She's so adorable! So small! And she just slept quietly and peacefully when I was carrying her!

Babies are the most precious gift from God!

Her name is Jemmima. Probably I would upload a photo soon. e\Everybody in the family is so happy about her birth! But sadly I didn't get to see her open her eyes. She kept sleeping throughout the time I was there.

Well that's the only good news I could share now. Besides that, nothing good to share.

Finally secondary school exams are over soon. It would mean that I'm gonna take a break for 2 months! Not rushing here and there. Could you imagine that I actually taught to 12 midnight last week. Boy! I was so tired.

And Ive yet to get enough sleep from all that I've lost.

But shopping was never better! I spent like shit every week man! 100+ every week! Seriously is too much! But I need to vent it out somewhere!

Okies! Self-control!

Now that I've got more time... Hopefully! If work doesn't requires much from me! Which is almost impossible!

Okies that's all for updates!

Ciaoz peeps!

Rest

Finally I'm home resting. Had to cause I was too sick to go to work.

Was sick since monday night, but still went to work ytd. And boy it was horrible man! The headache was killing me and I had so much pressure on me as I was doing the HK side.

The pressure really made it worse and I had to work OT till 9+. Tell me about not wanting to go and rest.

Anyways not much of a rest today, I'll still have to give tuition. So get well soon jocelyn.

Finding myself trapped in an enclosed office,
Your sunshine smile suddenly surfaced.
The room seemed warmer ever since.
Of all the world's 12 billion folks,
We saw, we smiled and we finally spoke.
The moment we shared may be minimal
but we ended in a perfectly happy note.

Written by Mr WRM.

29/09/2006

Life is just a short stay on the planet known as earth. A temporary hotel or motel that we check-in for almost 60 years. Less or more. Depends. But still a whole 60 years is gonna flash across your eyes just like that.

But what is beautiful is the moments spent with the people you meet in life. Along this journey that will end someday, we meet many different kinds of people. Black,white, yellow. Short,tall, fat and thin. Name it out. I guess we're all gonna be so amazed.

The only big difference would be the period of time they accompany you on this life journey. There are people who comes and go. And there are some who would stay forever till you're one leg into your own grave.

But they are some whereby you would just wanna keep that little excitement trying to be able to coincidently bump into each other.

And yes. This part is about me. And I'm already thinking back of the moments. It may sound stupid but it's a little colours added to my boring working life.

I think back and I don't regret staying at ABN Amro. Oh well at least for this part. My job scope requires me to up and down the floors almost every hour, that was at the old building. On a particular day at 12.05pm, that was the first time I saw him. The day his existence was made known. First impression. Cute. Seems nice. Hmm.. sounds like a description for food. But anyways that was the first time. And from then on each time I go to the 2nd floor or 11th floor I see him all the time. And that was when the crush begins.

And yes. My crush was the TNT guy or rather the courier guy in the building. We see each other so often. That I begun to think that it's so funny. I can't help grinning to myself each time I see him. And I often wonder if he knew my existence in this small 15 storey building. And once I couldn't hold the happiness in me, I gave him a smile. I couldn't help it cause we bump into each other too many times.

Of cause, there are times I don't get to see him. Like I didn't get to see him a couple of days and I was sad. Cause see-ing always made my day. I remember see-ing him at 5+ whereby I was totally dead. But I was recharged! Okies.. it sounds weird but oh well.... the power of crushes.

I still remember trying to bump into him a couple of times but failed. It should not be planned . It should be coincidence. I still remember the kind of feeling when I couldn't see him on the last day at the old building. But in fact the new building was better.

Going thru and forth from the old and new building in the morning was the most pleasant moments I had. We would walk back together as in front and back. Oh well! We didn't know each other! What do you expect!

And finally I saw him grinning to himself the other day when we saw each other. And it was so dumb when he didn't enter the lift the other day. Oh I can't imagine.

But well. We saw each other. We smiled. And I always wondered if he knew my existence. And I've got my answer!

We spoke for the first time yesterday! Yes I was over the moon!

The lift that cause the upsetness was the one that broke the silence and smiles that we often exchange. And I can't imagine how can someone be so blur to forget pressing the floor that he was supposed to go. But that was nice. haha...

"Do you often walk around. cause I always see you."

My existence is known to him. I'm satisfied.

We spoke again today. In the lift again. and while waiting for the lift. And once again, he went to the wrong floor. At this point of time, even he can't help but laugh at his stupidity.

But it would be the last time we spoke. Cause it's his last day today.

The whole smiling at each other and see-ing each other. And realising each other existence. Ended on a happy note. That is what I would say. I like it this way. Though it may sounds like a some little girl's feeling but I think I like it this way.

The simple and sweet acquitance relationship. The whole excitement was trying hard to bump into him. For a look and a smile.

Now that it has ended. Lydia has made special arrangement for TNT to deliver the documents to me. Called it coincident or what. It doesn't matters anymore since he's not working at ABN anymore.

But who knows I might just bump into him since he got a new job at Great Eastern. ",)

Now this was a short journey in my life.

Not too sure why I feel happy and satisfied. Probably I guess 'cause this is much more simple. Need not know too much and feel too deep.

if you think your birthday is getting any worse. Then listen to mine.

It's my birthday today and you know what I was working OT till 9pm in the office. So how good can it get?

No celebrations but I still have gifts. Oh well I did had a mini celebration with my family. Sweet of them to buy a cake for me.

Sweets~

Okies not much to share. Just tired.

Ciaoz

20/09/2006

It's simple. I have a crush! Oh gosh! A crush was like sometheing that can happen like centuries ago! And mind you it's a crush! yes. C.R.U.S.H. CRUSH!

See. Told ya it was simple.

17/9/2006

T'was a fun,exciting and tiring day. And not forgetting a happy day.

Cause I bought 3 pairs of heels in less than an hour and a bag. Yes I did. I was just like some happy little girl, walking around with two big bags and people staring at me. But who cares. I'm happy! It's "Once in awhile" anyways.

Bought a bangle and a ring too. Oh I bought a pair of sandals ytd. So in all it's 4.

I'm so tired now. That I could just fall asleep right at this instance, if not for my wet hair.

I just came back from Nini's place. Now here's the interesting part. Too excited already! Now I'm seriously hesitating having babies. Cause of cleaning the shit part! I totally had a bad experience just now. But no doubt she's a smart girl. She knew she shitted and asked me to change her diaper. But you know me. So inexperience.

The worst part comes now! She started digging her hands into her diapers! Knowing that we were scared, she started chasing us around the house! And this little bitch was so happy! Can you imagine Nini and I screaming and laughing in the house and this little rascal is chasing after us. Imagine it and you might now be having cramps because of laughing.

We called for "SOS" but her father was no where to be seen. Decided to change her diapers! Don't ask me how? We just had to! And so we started to do it! And Thank God! The dad came back just in time! To save me from not having dinner!

Oh God! I'm having second thoughts. Maybe next time when I have my baby I'll leave it to my husband. At most, I'll use gloves! I'm dead serious!

Don't ever try picturing me doing it with my bare hands! NO WAY!

It's work again tml... Nitex peeps!

9/9/2006

If I ever start blogging it's gonna be about work. You know like how NS guys talked about NS?! That's how I'm gonna talk about work.

Ya. You said it! "Get a life! Jocelyn!"

And yes. That's what I'm gonna do. It's not gonna be about work.

The used-to-be busy and exciting Jocelyn's life has now revolve around work and tuition! I seriously need to get a life! It's ugh disgusting and unbearable! Even I can't stand it.

Anyways I have not been blogging for almost a week but I guess you guys won't wanna read about it cause it's just work so I'll shall be kind enough to save all of your eyes and emotional state.

Well I save you by not blogging. But I save myself by shopping! I bought 2 bags, a pair of shoes and I don't know what else did I buy. I just can't stop buying. I seriously need a shopping therapy as in a real one. Not that kind of shopping therapy.

I'm stuck. I'm stuck about what to blog. I can't believe this. Gosh. It's just goes showing how boring my life has become.

Suddenly I just wanna sit by the river with the strong wind blowing against my face, almost disfigured, and read a book. Totally laid back kind of life, with no one around, just people walking through and forth. Sitting alone with no conversation engage. Just me and my book. That's what I call life for now.

You think it's boring? Well It's my life. And it goes with my mood. I don't have to go with the crowd right. The way I dress, the things I get and things I do. If not, Jocelyn's kind of life would not exist.

I'm gonna live the lif that way I want!

31/8

Dead dead dead... I'm dead beat.

It's the last day of the month. Work has taken the toil out of me. Mentally and physically. That I can't do anything now.

All I want now is to sleep and rest. It's 1st sep tml and it means I can apply for NIE already. But you know what, I'm not so enthu into it yet. Cause I really don't know what I want.

Anyways it's been raining so heavily for the two days but too bad. I can't sleep! Work always gotta spoil everything! Well work load was rather heavy today or should I say for the past few days. OT everyday but well there's OT pay so who cares.

27/8/06

First of all, not too sure if it's good or bad news. I've withdraw my resignation from ABN Amro. Don't ask why cause I don't know. And for a matter, yes I'm staying. So maybe just be happy for me?

I don't know what lies ahead of me. For now it's confusion and uncertainty.... erm... and more uncertainty? The next step is crucial cause it's gonna decide my future.

I really wonder why did I ever wish growing up faster when I was a kid. Growing up means more responsibility. And more decisions to make. But well, that's life. It's never forever 16.

I'm just slowly getting used to whatever I'm doing at ABN, while doing that I'll just wait upon the Lord.

I've gotten my first pay! And it's pay-day this week! Pay from ABN, pay from tuition. Shit! Now I'm thinking of how to spend it. When will this bad habit be gone. well it's already habit.

And ohya. To anonymous and anonymous, it's just a teeny-weeny issue. Pls don't start. Help me to keep it a happy blog. Would appreciate it.

P.S. try looking back a few entries.

To my esteem ladies and gentlemen!

I hereby announced that I,Jocelyn Lee, has verbally tender my resignation to ABN Amro Bank at 8.05pm! Yes I was still in the office!

Wat else work?! I totally can't stop smiling! Can you believe this! I finally said it out! I couldn't stop grinning to myself. =)

But I had to control! But I'm still glad!

Anyways I have an interview tml! Job that I like but the pay is definitely not as good! But well. Shall leave it to God! Let His will be done!

Nitez...

It's offcially my 3rd week at ABN Amro. Just in case, you think that I'm waiting for my first pay. You're so wrong! I'm just thinking of when would be the right time to tender.

Anyways I've been working OT since Monday! Except for yesterday. I've been knocking off at 8plus. It's only the 3rd week and it's already like that. imagine if I stay there longer.

I really hate telling myself everyday to hang in there and just do it. I'm sick of it. I totally hate the job but I can't bring myself to tender. Well we'll see how the other interview goes first. It's really not about the pay. It's my interest and about me being happy while working.

Oh well, I'm once again stuck in a situation of not knowing what to do again.

Just see how it goes.

Oh btw! I didn't know a typewriter in this era could actually "delete" away the wrong words you type! Ok right! Call me a hillbilly for all you want! I bet some of us really didn't know about it cause we NEVER EVER use a typewriter in our lives! Not even in the school!

And here I am like a fool trying to figure how to use the typewriter to type the wordings on a draft. And you bet it sure took me a long time. Probably the school should teach those taking my course to use a typewriter. Serious there's alot of things that you still have to do manually. After all, technology ain't that helpful.

Why do I sound as if I'm so happy there?

Crap.

And now I miss staying at sengkang! I've been staying there more often than my home. And I went shopping at compass point with my aunt. I was only given 3 hours to shop! And I sure did make full use of it! I spent like $103 at Metro. Please don't go "Eeee... Metro! Auntie clothes!"

If you did, I'm gonna smack your head! I can basically shop at anywhere! Even Chinatown! That's what I call real shopping! Anyways I bough a pair of super cute slip-in with a donkey print on it! "Aww... Cute!"

Okies sorry!

2 tops and a shorts! I think that's all... I could not buy more cause I wasn't allowed to! =D

But well i'm glad there's someone to stop me!

Holiday is over and it's back to... Oh I hate the word! Save it!

And it's a drag to even say "good night".

So it's gonna be...

That's all folks!

well let's see... it's my second week at ABN Amro. how is it like?

Totally sucks! There's never one day I would live without saying the sentence " I wanna quit!"

I have already gotten ready my resignation letter, it's just a matter of time when I will be tendering. It just makes me feel so guilty that Lydia(my head) is trying to rush the IT side to configure my PC with all those olympics and lotus notes! Totally so useless! And troublesome.

And talking about work there! The people there are so damn rude! Not those from my department! But those bloody private bankers! Trust them to call themselves PB! They know nuts man! Useless people! And Patricia Sng! You bloody idiotic PIG! Oh she's one of the PB! The super rude lady which I don't know why my ex-colleague could actually just let her push her around! Just so sry I was in a bloody bad mood cause i'm stuck doing this job! And just in time for me to vent it on this bloody pig!

My colleague, KC, was like so happy when he heard how I answer her man! She's so bloody unreasonable man!

Let's not talk about work. There's only one word! yucks!

Anyways been rather busy. Very busy in fact. And I need a change of job. I need a job that will make me happy.

Okies people! Listen up! I would so totally appreciate if you guys could STOP asking me how's work after this entry!

Work is just one word! Disgusting! And it's just gonna be the same till the day I quit!There's never one day I went for work feeling happy, only when I step out of the building.

So quit asking the question!

Seriously I can't care more about earning 1.7k a month to slog my life away for something I don't even like a tiny weeny bit. Going for work is horrendous. Each time I walk near Abn Amro, the feeling is never nice.

Before I was thinking of trying out if I really don't want a office job. Probably I might love it. I have proved myself right the very first day!

I'm totally so tired and exhausted. And I've only been to work for 7 days. And my officer, Lydia, already knew that I don't like my job and I wanna quit. She called me into the room. Well as you know, it's never a good sign to be called to the room by the officer.

Ya but it turned out well.

Suddenly I feel that I don't have any friends! haha... Nah cause at this moment I feel like going to shop! cause it's the last day of GSS but I guess it won't exactly be the last day... But I'm just too tired to go out.. Think I'll just save the money and forget abt it... Shopping is never enough...

ok crap!

Anyways I'm totally exhausted from work. Office job is killing me so much but i'm still trying hard to hang in there.

I went to nini's house.... only one word! Finally! Have not seen her for weeks and it's just way terrible... her work! Gosh! I have like touch on algebra and related topics for like more than 2 mths or so... It's still like that. But I got to see her sister! Gosh man! Is it because I'm getting old or she's just way too energetic! She's like never tired, I got so tired running and playing with her. But she's just adorable! And I love it when she baby talks! And with the expression of "Woooo" .

Adorable is just the word!

My student asked if I was attached. I said no and she said how was it possible. Cause she said I look too happy to be single! Since when being single is SAD!! Gosh! What kind of logic is that! Being single is like the best thing that you can ever enjoy! While you can!

It's finally the first day of work. And you notice I didn't use "!" cause it wasn't that bad BUT it ain't that FANTASTIC too! If you ask how's first day of work?

Here's my answer... It's just a NORMAL office work! I'm working in the operations department doing payments and receipts, just like when I was at DBS vickers for attachment! Just that this time round, it's no longer itp! It's a perm job! should I sigh? okies... *sigh*

9-630 just pass like that. And I'm already worried about working OT though it's just the first day of work. Cause it will affect my tuition. well will see how it goes first.

And how's the peeps there?

Hello! It's the first day of work! So everybody is NICE! Let time reveal them all! =D

After passing by this restaurant for so many times during itp, I finally tried the paper pot! but it was quite ok. Not too bad!

I'm freaking tired now, yes it's first day of work but for the past few days I have not been resting well.

I'm not sure is it because that I started working, once again I feel so assured that I wanna teach! Instead of working in the office. It's so not for me. When I was waiting to apply for NIE, I though to myself do I really wanna teach? Now... Hate waiting man! Once september comes! I'm just gonna sign up!!

*yawn*

So sleepy!