Blessed are the meek

Fear. A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Or it can be explain as concern or anxiety; solicitude.

Stress. The importance or significance attached to a thing; emphasis: to lay stress upon good manners. Which in this case, it's not what I'm talking about. It's more of a physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.

Stress level is slowly building up. And at this time, I'm losing all the sleep that I'm suppose to have. Energy is using up but not replenished for me to go further. I could be so tired when I reached home,almost drained and dead. But as I lie low on my bed, I can't sleep. Finally when I'm into dreamland, I found myself awake checking the time on my hp. And that was only an hour or so of sleep. To fall asleep again, it would be 3-4 hours later and waking up at intervals of 1-2 hours.

As usual, sleep was the way it was. Despite that had to wake up at 8 in the morning for service. Still it was a long day ahead. No matter how sleepy, I had to get it going. Student's exams are round the corner. To be exact. 2 more weeks. At this point of time, I really hope that God could give me more than 24 hours a day. Maybe 48 hours? yea. 2 days in one day. I could do tons of things. I could go through as much as I want.

Responsibility is the thing that makes the word "STRESS" look even bigger than ever. Time is running out. I know. The tiring thing is that I have to run after it. The cruel fact? Time waits for no man. I don't mind skipping dinner or losing sleep, or even teach till the wee hours, so long as they do well.

Feeling stressful is already a big burden. At the same time, I'm fearful. I have so many things running through my head. I was holding to it so firmly and I thought I have gotten over it. In fact,convinced myself. And I have come close to losing it, something that I struggled so hard to hold on to. Now. I would gripped on to it real tight. So tight that no one can take it away from me.

My fear?

Everything just happen all at a time. I've to face it alone and try to do it alone. There's no one who can help me or go through it with me. No one. I'm not even sure if I can get it right yet I have to get it right.