Just bored...

Am taking a break now, before I start on my bond valuation tutorials... Finally I understand time value of moneyy, after doing the tutorial... It really suck big time... I was bored in the afternoon when I was studying... So i took some photos... And rummage through my drawers and found some pressie...

Bond valuation lecture notes...

Below are my schedule...
This is this week schedule... it's counted as one of the least pack ones...

this was last week's one... if you think this is worse.. nah you are wrong... see the one below!

One of the busiest week! fully packed...

Had to drink my bubble tea this way... All thanx to my "smartness"...

"Parking lot pimp" rox!! Was crazy over them when I heard them sing at the mosiac festival... See the words at the right hand corner?! YES! "SAY NO TO PRIACY"!!! Got weilun (Jerm's bf) to get it for me when he was working in music junction... And he could actually said he can burn for me!! MY GOD!! We should support local bands k!!! Actually most of the staff does that... They open the CD, burn it then put it back on shelf to sell again.. HOW DESPICABLE!! oops :x haha...

Remember the other time when I couldn't get into the indoor stadium for festival of praise on the first night... This is the cd they compensate us when they asked us to go home... It's still nicely wrapped! I've yet to open it up.. Can't be the least bothered...

Finally I got back my "school of rock" vcd!! I can't believe it, I bought it like 1 year ago... And only now, anthony return it to me... Thank God! He remembered! I was looking high and low for it... Till I gave up!

Was a gift from the year 3s during the MD concert... The photo was taken at Toa Payoh... Our second outdoor performance... The top 5 best performance for "The stage is yours"... *pRoUd*

A valentine's day gift from meimei... I lost it for a period of time... :) sorry!! But I found it back!! and kept well...

A bookmark Jerm made for me on my 17th birthday... Simple yet sweet!

Just took these photos just now... Time value of money tutorial...

And my table looks like that now! Papers everywhere...

OH DAMN!!! OH SHIT!! I don't know how to do time value of money!! DARN!! What's this man?!! My test is tml and I'm struggling like hell!! I'm gonna die!!!!

Time value of money!! Shit man!!! I'm dead....

It's 4.09pm!!! YES! I'm home!! I'm home early!! Actually I skip BD to come home and study!! But I've not started... still slacking... Starting right after this entry...

And Gonna study till 5.30pm and catch my hong kong series on channel 55!! :D

Oh yeah... I'm such a scatterbrain... I bought 2 cups of bubble tea from tiong bahru... One for mummy and one for myself... And when I reach the market downstair my house, I realise that I forgot to take straws! How smart... So I had to cut open the top and drink it with a thin straw and a spoon...

I'm off to study before I start sitting in front of the com for another few more hours...

OH GREAT!! After re-starting the com for like hell lotsa of times... I'm finally done with my BD project, after a few days of dragging and a little blurness with the figures, with a little help from Kang Ming... Thanx alot!! I would have just die-ed trying to make up those figures which might not even make any sense at all when I don't know some of the games...

Doing project with these freaking com is even worse than asking me to sing in front of people or try playing the drumset... Giving me so much trouble... And the only time I swear like lots of time in a day is when I faced this com... And each time I swear, I just feel so guilty... But it can't be helped!! It's really getting on my nerves...

I'm just glad that I'm done with it... and hope that Daniel won't call me 'cause it would mean that I've to make some or maybe lotsa changes... *pRaY hArD*

Anyways today was just like the past few days... I'm not in a good shape... I'm feeling empty and my mood is kind of bad... trying hard to fight back and not let it go downhill... Or esle it's just gonna get worse... I don't know how to describe how I feel...

but it just feels like shit...

And today is a special sunday... Why? 'Cause I've gotta teach... Sunday = rest day= no tuition --> my logic... :) Come on! From mon to sat, I'm a student, tutor and percussionist... Sunday... I just wanna be a small little girl that hops to church in the morning and straight after that fellowship or maybe shopping... That should be me on sunday!! A lovely little girl!! haha... :D

Anyways after service, had lunch then bible study... Then song prac...

Headed to Bugis Village for awhile... And that was to accompany meiying to buy her bag... If you ever wanna buy bags from "Zinc" at the edge! Please don't get it there! you could just get the same bag from bugis village at a much cheaper price!! My sis saw the bad at "the edge", it was $30... I think! But it was selling at $25 at bugis village... And you could reduce the price to $23! So go there if you wanna go... If you can't bargain get someone who can to go with you...

Saw a couple of bags which I like... well I've yet to decide whether I wanna buy it or not.... Though I've like more than 65 bags... But when it comes to these I get a little wishy-washy... I would think real hard if it worth the money and if i could get it somewhere else cheaper... I could take months to make decision... :D

But I still don't know why I've so many bags...

Headed to Yolanda's house for tuition!! HURRAY! I got my pay!! :D

And finally the last stop Qiao ting's house.... Supposed to get my pay... But i just dislike getting cheque.... 'cause I don't know when I would actually bank it in... So I'll just have to wait 2 weeks later... sad!!

Talking about money... I was just thinking of coming out with a plan to help myself save up... Not for other reasons! But for SHOPPING!! haha... So that I can be cash-rich all the time... And not worry when I'm going to Hong Kong in Nov, which is not confirm yet... 'Cause of some stupid virus there... Whatever!! Just hope that the stupid virus can just get it's arse off! And bring all it's bacteria somewhere out of Hong Kong with it!

Kzz... That's all for today... I've got to study for FIA, there's a test on tuesday... Only studied a few pages... No progress... And I'm freaking tired!! Thinking of skipping tml's lesson!! AH! NO! I CAN'T!! I'M A BIATCH IF I DID!!!

I'm off to my bed to study...

Ciao!

It's not neo print!!

Finally I packed my bed, after my bedsheet is changed... It was in a total mess... LOOK!! They are like one happy family!! :) ok the red thingy you see, is just the reflection of this red-eye bear...

The only 2 big fellows...



I love care bears!! They are just so cute... The big one is from Jermaine as Christmas gift and I bought the small one myself... I wanna have a whole collection of care bears!!!

Look how much they contrast....

And overall the happy family on my bed looks like that... And look at the amount of space I'm left to sleep... But! i'm still feeling comfortable...

New TOPS & BOTTOMS!!!



Bought these 2 tops from chinatown!! YES! Chinatown!!! It's cheap!! If you think you can't get anything from chinatown you are wrong!! Try shopping there...

The necklace supposed to come with the tube but it dropped off... And I'm glad 'cause I was still hesitating whether to cut it off or not... Now I save all the trouble to think...

A day just past like that...

Saturday's schedule has finally ended... Another busy and tiring day, I would say...

Slept at 4+ in the morning and I woke up at 8.30am... Supposed to do projects last night but I ended up not doing much shit... 'cause I couldn't come out with the figures for the survey and Kangming was busying playing game when I approached him to help... So I had to not do BD...

So EA was next on the list... Got on the SGX website and found SIA... Got the balance sheet, profit & loss... So on and so forth... But I didn't know what to do next... :D

There was no one I could approach coz all of them were asleep... So the idea of doing EA has to be given up...

What did I ended doing? hmm... Good questions...

I started blogging... And by the time I realise it was already 3+... I've finished blogging but I just couldn't get to sleep... Lied on the bed and switching channels here and there... the next moment I was awoken by "close to you"... My alarm...

Got up, took my bathe and headed to school for sectionals with Jerm... Sectionals was rather good with Muru's help in conducting and correcting us... So sorry peeps, I really can't conduct... Just gotta leave to the experts...

After sectionals, headed to church for song prac... Feeling heavy and tired, I tried hard to get things done... And Thank God it did...

Now the only thing that got me smiling after sectionals and song prac... Was the trip to ntuc with Andy... He had to buy honeydew and watermelon to his friend's bbq... so he asked to tag along to help... He asked me if I know how to choose... I said well If I don't know how to choose, I'll always get the auntie beside me to help me... :D

Ain't I smart?! :)

We headed to choose the honeydew first...

"So... which one do we choose?" We stared at the honeydew... And I told him... Get the one with a rough surface not smooth... I knew this coz each time my mum bought honeydew, the skin is never smooth... So! Common sense! He almost reached out for the smooth one I guess... Can't really remember...

To confirm he approach this lady BUT!! She's worse than me!!! She don't even know how to choose!! GOSH!!! So I took it from him and asked a couple to helped us... :D And the honeydew that we chose was the best among the worse... all of them are smooth!

Next was the watermelon... The heavier the better!! But NOTE!!! Don't ever take 2 watermelon, one on each hand... And take the one that makes your hand tired... Coz if your one hand is weaker than the other, of coz the weak one can't take the weight...

So they only way is hit it... Well!! I didn't really help out! Coz I ended up playing drums on the watermelons!!! haha... :) Couldn't resist it!! The sound of it... And there are so many of them...

Hmm... not a bad idea to have watermelons as drum for our next performance... OK! Just joking... But maybe it can be taken into consideration...

After that short and fun moment, it was time for tuition... Luckily it's just for an hour... Or else I'm gonna sleep while teaching...

One whole day was spent just like that... It's now 10.49pm... I need to start studying for FIA which is on tuesday... 'Cause I've got to teach tml... Starting now would lighten the burden by just a little bit....

And no late night sleep!! There's church tml!!

August is so sucky

Didn't I mention about August being sucky!! It's damn bloody true!! From the start of August till now, it's been rather bad... And it's not gonna get better for me even till the end of August...

The moment I stepped out of the house, I was already in a foul mood... You know how important it is to be out of the house with a happy feeling... Rather than a bad one... 'cause nothing is gonna be fine...

I got ready to step out of house with nice smelling and shampoo-ed hair, feeling a bit better than before and hoping for fresh air... But the moment I stepped out, it was smoky and the air was filled with ashes and the burning smell.. Within a few seconds!! My nice smelling and shampoo-ed hair had the burning smell!! That totally pulled me down!! It's so irritating!! you just had your bath and you have not enough even step more than 20 steps away from your house door, you need to get a bath... I really wanted to come back to bath but forget it... Lecture is more important... So I had my hair tied up the whole day... Gross!

After lecture, headed to give tuition... NOW~~! This is the worse part man! It totally got me pissed off!! After tuition, I was waiting for bus 123 to go to Tiong Bahru... I waited for like 20 mins or so... But that's not the worst part!! Waiting was terrible enough!! But standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus and having ashes and smoke flying in my direction, didn't make it better!

I was totally turn off!! I didn't want to head to band smelling burnt! And the amount of carbon dioxide I breathe in!! GOSH!! And for some reason, I don't know why it change my mood through out... I mean can't they go like somewhere else to burn those incense paper? Like the temple? Ok I don't know... Probably it's already a practice since don't know when... I don't like it when my neighbours burn it at my house corridor... The smoke travels with the wind... And when it travels into my house when the windows are open! I'll start making a big fuss and slam the door and closed those freaking windows!! Can't they just go there to the little "garden" downstairs to do so.. I would really appreciate their cooperation and consideration...

I just hate this period... Can't wait for it to be over... then not so much of burning!!

Band prac was rather ok... But I'm in deep shit for Jap Graf 4... need lots of practice... My mood was affected through out since I step out of house... Was rather quiet through out the band prac... Lots of things running through my mind... But I'm feeling empty...

I'm strangled by my packed schedule... I need time to study for my tests next week... But I need rest too... Without enough rest, I can't get myself started... I only have 3 more days to study... I've 2 projects to do... Thank God for BD, I don't have much to do for my part... But EA is a problem... I dont' know how to start... I've got my data... But not the next step...

Yolanda and Qiao ting's prelims are next week... Within all the tuition and rehearsal crashing down on me... And how nice... Nini's prelims falls on the concert week... And that week I have rehearsal for the poly 50, BD presentation and IBM concert...

How I wish there are more than 24 hours a day so I can take my time to do my stuff... But again, I hope that time faster so that I'm able to survive this 2 tiresome week faster... Once IBM is over, I've start digging my head into my studies and my students' PSLE... Exams are in September and PSLE is in October!! I really don't understand why does the stupid dumb ass government has to change the academic year!! It's of no help at all!! Just MORE TROUBLE!! So many people are affected by this damn change!!

2 months plus... Is what I have to bear with... No matter how tough or tired... I must survive through!! I don't care if I cry, laugh or be angry... I MUST walk through this period!! So try screwing my life and making it more packed! GO AHEAD!! 'CAUSE!! I WILL SURVIVE!!! Definitely not alone, but with God's help...

There's sectionals tml morning... And it's just gonna be another long day... *yAwNz*

an end...

And The day is coming to an end... :)

There's no BD today... YEAH!! Which I always drag going... 20 more mins to 2 and thursday school is gonna come to an end... Which means trading for the day is ending...

Gonna head to the band room to self prac later... And gonna go home early since there's no band prac or tuition today.. Hurray!! :)

ShunLi and meimei are beside me... And we all regretted for settling it early... Coz the price closed at a even lower price...

All my classmates are like happy fishes, laughing like hell... But I bet 99.999999% that it's definitely NOT about TA!

I can really die trying to figure out those freaking chords which I rarely play man! Bm7b5!! What the hell is that man?!

There's Fb,Gb and so on... I rarely touch these chords! And Thank God! Andy gave me a website... Totally helpful to me man! Manage to figure out all the chords for all the 205 bars...

Oh ya... I might be playing the keyboard for "poly 50"... Just in case you don't know what's poly 50... It's an event that SP 50th anniversary is coming to AN END!! YES!! Finally!!! They celebrated it like when I was in Yr 1!! Now I'm in Yr 3!!! It finally come to an end...

Seems to be quite a big event... coz the piece was composed by this local well-known song composer, charles something... Ok maybe not that popular after all... :D

A last minute rehearsal today in the bandroom... Which affected my schedule... Gave out the parts... And there's the synthesizer part, it's all in chords... Seriously I never ever thought that I would be playing the keyboard for any performance in SP, overall outside church... But none of them in the section knows how to read chords! So I had to play... If not I won't even play...

But I doubt they might even want me to play, 'cause I play really badly...

Now I've extra parts to practice... The performance is on the 31 Aug... One day before IBM!! This is really torturous man!

My schedule is once again packed... From this weekend onwards... My students' prelims are next week, band prac... ARGH!! OK!! STOP!!! I'm not gonna say anymore... I'll die just by thinking of it...

And I've yet to start on my BD and EA project... and you know what it means?!! It spells TROUBLE!! I don't know how am I gonna survive...

I'm sleepy now...

Shit! I missed again!

I missed my CF tutorial this morning!!! SHIT MAN!! I've already got warning letter and I didn't go!!! Sianz... Lesson started at 8 and I woke up at 7.50am!!! What's with the darn phone man!!! I set alarm but I couldn't hear it!

OK Probably I was too tired, that's why... Thank God I could get and MC today or else I'll be dead!

There's ea but I'm so bloody lazy to go...

:)

2 major incident happen today that leaves a deep impression on me... Let me start with the first one...

At 8.52am, I was awoken by the noise outside my room. I'm a light sleeper so I wakes up easily... Ok anyways... I was irritated by it coz I started school at 12pm!! And I got woke up by all these noises! Heard my mum's voice vaguely, but it was 9am, she's at work so it's definitely not her... So I thought it was someone else that sound like my mum... But being the usual lazy me, I chose to ignore and go back to sleep!

But the noise level was increasing! It got louder and louder!! And I was sure I heard my mum's voice!!! VERY SURE!!! So I got off my bed... Hugging on to my bolster tightly!! with messy hair and a sleepy look on my face... I walk out of the room... OK! Now I'm even sure that it's my mum voice... I saw her!!

And I witness a dispute that was SUPPOSE to HAPPEN 30 YEARS AGO!! And it happen today, which is 30 years LATER!! HURRAY!!!! :D

I saw my mum sort of arguing with my neighbour, an old woman.... OK!! Get this clear!! My mum is not so EVIL! She doesn't yell at her... She talks to her nicely coz she's old! And who the hell will talk nicely to this old lady who is so evil! Not even me!! I'm just gald that my mum finally voice out!!

This evil old lady one hell person that makes things difficult for people and caused bad neighbour relationship!! She used to sweep all the dirt in front of her us to my corridor... You think that's bad!! There are WORSE!! She would blow her mucus and clean it on my corridor wall!! And the wall outside her corridor are white and clean! While mine is dirty which some brown stains!! She pluck our leaves and stuff!!

She and my neighbour,Miss A, who is staying below us are big time enemies man!! Both of them simply hate each other!! Miss A helps to clean our house once a week and she would come up to my house everyday to chat and stuff!! And when I get to see her, she never FAILS to complain to me about her and definitely not forgetting cursing and swearing her!

Ok! this is what happen... Miss A put a pot of flower outside my corridor and she applied oil to the pot... So this old lady touch it today!! HAHA!! Itchy hands!!!!!! anyways!! If you think she went home and wash it! WAIT LONG!! AND FAT HOPE!! She clean it on my window!! and even on the handle of our door gate!!! My sister came back home... She touched the handle and her whole hand was oily... She called my mum! And that explains why she's at home at that hour...

Miss A came up and the old lady and Miss A started arguing... I freaking hell know no shit what they are saying... coz it's hokkien... But I do know abit.... Miss A said something that she thinks she has stroke she wins, she thinks that her voice is louder, she wins... Man!! I felt like laughing but too sleepy...

The old lady said we can called the police for all we want... And finally I spoke!! What's the use of calling the police man?! What can they bloody hell do!! All they can do is just file a report and that's all!!! And with all those FAT and UGLY policemen at my area!! What more can they do?! All they can do is just give some attitude and get nothing done... Ok nvm! Just some of my own experience... I'm just glad that my mum didnt' even THOUGHT of calling the police!! Or else I'll be so paiseh! *pHeW*

Can't really remember what happen... All I knew was that... I came back to my room to contiune my beauty... And 10 mins later my mum came in and said she's going back to work...

That was the first incident that happen even before I was fully awake!

Got ready to go to school and I can't imagine this happen to me!! I thought it would only happen in drama...

I stepped out of my house and was walking down the stair... I saw this man sitting on the floor.. His head was facing down and there was a cigrattes box on the floor... Thought he was drunk!! But when I look carefully! I got shocked and really scared!! I saw him injecting some form of liquidon his hand... FREAK MAN!! I never thought I would see a drug addict on sction... I got really scared coz he's really near me... I quickly made my way down hoping that he doesn't sees my face... I hope not?!

What a day... Thank God! Nothing much happen after that...

Lesson started at 12 and and went for TA first half and skipped the second half... Headed to chinatown with meimei... And I've got 2 tops for myself... :D

Don't ever think you can't get clothes at chinatown! You're so wrong!! Those are the place which I like to head to~

Can really get cheap stuff... Probably not just chinatown... Just those sub-urban areas... You never know what you can fish... :)

Headed for band after that...

Oh yeah my mum called when I was in band, so I asked her about the incident... My mum told the old lady's son about her "crimes"... He was SHOCKED!! And my mum told her about the incident that happen to me 2 years back I guess... Before I changed my windows, it was those old type of windows... I was sleeping and she splashed water into my room!! ARGH!! can you imagine you are sleeping and water suddenly leak onto you.. I still remember that incident so clearly! I would had scold the hell out of her for disturbing my sleep! Which I hate people to do so!! And my mum is soft hearted enough to talk to her nicely!! Just don't know why my mum bears with her!! 30 years! AH!! I guess I can't even stand her for 30 secs!

She's just gonna get her retribution... When she was young she ill treat her mother-in-law... Not giving food to her!! Oh man! Can't believe such people exist in the world!!! How could they ever bring themself to do such things!! And now her daughter-in-law don't like her too!! I doubt anyone could get along with her man... Well that's her family problem!! I just hope she stop giving us trouble or else these things will never come to an end! Thank God I rarely get to see her... :D

Band was not bad today... But the percussion section are not doing so well... Concert is in lke 1 week plus... And there are still lots of them not getting their parts right... And that includes me... I've yet to practive my bells and xylo part of Jap Gaf 4... Darn! Gotta really find time to go down and practice... So I have to sacrifice my lunch time...

Wanted to do my CF tutorial... But sianz... I'm so tired... Can't be bothered to do it... After one whole day, still got to do tutorial... AH!! I always drag doing it...

Just gonna lie on my bed and watch tv... Lessons starts at 8a.m. tml... Can't be late... Already received warning letter!

And it's a darn long day tml... But well I'm used to it... After october I'll be jobless!! Well when it comes, I'll just decide... So I can't afford to spend every single cent which I earn now!! WHICH IT'S SO DIFFICULT!!! It's like asking a mouse not to eat CHEESE!!!

Ok... *yAwNzZzZ*

CIAO!

My horoscope for the day

If you want to keep moving, you can't let heavy baggage from the past keep dragging you down. Take some time to examine what old blocks might be keeping you from your goals.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

The Bottom Line
The past can be a heavy weight if you let it press on you. Can you lift it?

In Detail
Following routines and obeying orders won't feel very fulfilling right now -- on the contrary, it'll feel like you're kowtowing and knuckling under to authority for no good reason. You're a rebel and you need to feel free of strictures, especially ones that don't make any sense to you. Find ways to convert this strong energy into something useful, and preferably far away from the presence of bosses or other authority figures.

Seems similarly to what andrew said to me...

I found my ez-link card...

Yes just like what the tittle says... I found my ez-link card... BUT! In my dreams! =.="

I dreamt that some random guy found it and pass it to me... Can't remember where it place... And can't remember who was beside me... The more I can't remember what's the event... All I know is that I was queuing up and when I lift up my head, this guy was looking at me... Wondering to myself, if I ever knew him... And all of a sudden!! He came to me! And gave me back my ez-link card!! I was SO happy!! And jumping... Then I remember my curse.. :)

Then I woke up... and realise I was dreaming... So sad!! :`(

I doubt I will ever get it back... As you know dreams are always opposite... Just like my previous cf test... I dreamt that I failed my re-test... But I passed in the end... This time round i dreamt that I found it... So it would mean I will NEVER get it back...

Rest

Time now is 5.25pm... Yup I'm supposed to be taking my CF test now... But... I'm home...

A whole day of rest at home... Went to see a doctor just now and I've got an mc... But which means I've missed my CF test and I've gotta take the retest...

Well would rather stay home to rest than go there and feel really sick...

well it won't harm to have already studied... preapre early... Then can study for FIA... :)

I'm feelin terrible...

I'm very sick man... Feeling terrible... I feel like sleeping but I'm worried for CF tml...

My mum asked me to go see a doctor just now... Coz my voice changed... But well the same old stubborn me who refused to see one.. Perharps tml...

Should I go take my CF CA2?? hmm... Wonder if I can concentrate...

A wet day...

It was SPBand spring cleaning day... oh yeah and not forgetting getting wet day...

Didn't wanna go down in the first place coz am terrible sick... down with a bad flu... But felt bad for not going... So headed down...

Reached there and there were lots of people in the band room scrubbing the floor... Man! It's really dirty and all of a sudden there was this water war! Everybody who was inside were wet... And I mean it... So decided not to help out in washing out... Shifting would be the best...

BUT!! I was not SPARED!!! I was drenched!! Thanx to Jerm for her wonderful plan!! I knew that she wanted to make me wet by asking me "where you going after this?"

Oh man I knew it! So I decided to stay near instruments and some stuff... So they were not given a chance to splash water on me!! And so she got more helpers for her EVIL plan... She got Cindy, Raf, Xiao bai... Don't know who else!!

Was sitting with Joanne!! NOTE: JOANNE IS BESIDE ME!!

Saw Raf standing somewhere in front of me... And Xiao bai asked him who... He didn't answered... RIGHT!! I knew something was wrong... It all happen in a few seconds!! I turned back JOANNE WAS GONE!! AND I wanted to run but Raf carried me up and into the bandroom!!! AND! I WAS SPLASHED WITH 3 PAILS OF WATER!!

AND YES!! JOANNE!! She just went off like that!! AH!!! MAN!!! AND AUDREY!! U TOO!!!

"Wanted to tell you. But thinking that seeing the fun is so much better, I change my mind!"

ARGH!! How could you people!!!

I was wearing white!! And I was terrible drenched!! I should had just heed Jo's advice not to go and stayed at home to rest...

THANX JERM!! And I can't believe that skinny Raf could actually lift me up...

Besides that it was rather fun, it's my last year... The band room is cleaner now... But it will just get dirty next week...

Met my mum and sisters for dinner at Chinatown... Now I'm back home... Dragging to start CF... With an itchy throat and a really bad flu...

Gotta go bath, then start studying... So long peeps!

Some new members...

A beach bag which I got for free by helping to do a survey when I was at the bus stop outside school...

New bag... (:

my earrings... That's all? Of coz not!

More earrings...

My accessories box... as u can see... It's messy... Coz I've yet to pack it and there seems to be too little things... hmm...

Take a peek...

Kind of blur... ya this is my wardrobe... it's full... and messy...

I'm sick... Down with a flu and my throat is feeling uncomfortable... Just feel so terrible... I'm sleepy and tired... But I have to study for CF... Darn... I just can't seems to concentrate... I need rest... Lotsa of it...

I'm starting to feel like a toy... And yes I'm a toy...

God! My brain is totally dead.. Can't really think well... Always hated morning lessons and today I've four hours of trading lessons... When you have to really think hard whether to buy or sell and if your own views are correct...

Wrong position... That's it... Make a lose... And there goes my credits for the lesson...

I'm beginning to be afraid of trading...I'm beginning not to trust my own judgement and views.... And that's totally sucky...

For FO we traded foreign currency... And let me tell ya... It totally suck!! Not exactly know what I'm doing but still made a profit of 31 only... really bad...

Man!! Trading it's so gonna be my nightmare... And so is my year 3... I just can't wait to graduate... But I don't wanna graduate coz of SP PERCUSSION!! That's MY LIFE!!

But I can't let music take up everything of my life coz my aunties and uncles won't never agree to it... Coz there's no prespect which is kind of true in our society... How much effort had the government tried to promote ARTS in Singapore... But look at the bloody repsonse! How many outdoor performance the DAP had... The audience are just so DEAD!! Lifeless!! You try to get them to anticipate but all they do is just give you that "huh" look or smile and sit down... WTH!! What's with these people!!!

We try our best on stage to bring joy to these freaking people but they are not helping us... :_(

Probably I'll just let it take half of my life... Just waiting for the holidays to come and get a taste of how the entertainment world is like... I don't mind giving up what I'm studying now... It's my family... Probably not my mum or dad... It's my aunts and uncles... And my interest is what I wanna be doing though I'll be poor...

Got back my CF retest... I passed! 69%... Seems like dreams are always the opposite... I dreamt that I failed again... But thank God! Despote of my busy and tiring schedule that day... I'm still able to concentrate... :)

Had 3 days of rest this week... Won't say it's a good rest but at least I got to rest... There's lots of things coming ahead and I've not start doing it...

I need to start studying and buck up the last year... :)

Not gonna let anything affect me... Though I envy them but I'm trying to control... I decided my road so I can't be envious... I've to stand FIRM!!

*sTrEtCh*, *yAwNz*!!!

I feel so good!!! Just woke up man!!! haha... Reached home in the morning at about 5+...

There was section outing yesterday... We went Marche!! haha... A good gathering... had fun with them... After that Audrey, Raf, Randy,Weiloong and I went to esplande and it happen that there was a concert there... And we count down there!! Met uy and kenneth there... It's been a long time that I last saw them...

Shared a cab home with uy and so the others came along to my area... And we talk all the way to 5+... Thank God!! I just leave upstairs or else I'll just sleep at the coffeeshop... not moving...

Anyways... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!! We are 40!!!

BUT!!! THERE'S SCHOOL TML!!! NOT FAIR!!!! AH... WHATEVER!! I'm hungry and i'm eating papaya... =.="

I'm a happy fish!!!! haha... I don't know why fish but i'm just happy... I went for F.O.P... Finally!!! After friday...

Started queueing at 5.30p... MAN!!! It's so damn bloody hot and I was like melted chocolate man!! Sianz... But it was all worth it!!

Hillsongs rocks man!!!

Sigh... Wat did i say about August being bad... How true...

Had our performance at Marina south today... The freaking security was freaking tight man... We had problems trying to unload the instruments... Then while setting up on stage, I hurt my finger... Was setting up the snare and I cut my finger... It bleed before the performance... How nice man!! Just went ahead with the pain... And I seemed to get the ball rolling... Audrey hurt her finger too... Think she sprain... Follow by Joanne and it bled too... All of which happen on the stage... Is the stage crused or what!!

Finally headed back to school to put back the instruments... After which Audrey, Weiloong, Randy, Raf and I headed down to Orchard Cafe Cartel for a fulfiling dinner!!! Ate lots...

Now this is the next UNFORTUANTE INCIDENT!!!! Took a bus home, was concentrating msging and talking to Raf... And when I wanted to alight!! I realise I couldn't find my ex-link card... I LOST IT!!!! I couldn't find it in my pocket or bag!!! ARGH!! I'm just left with freaking few more months in SP!! And now this happens!! shit man... Just hope some kind soul can picked it up and return it... I doubt they ever will!! But why would they ever need it... AH!! Freak that asshole or bitch if they have did that!! SHAMELESS IDIOTS!!

Pardon me... I'm tired and it's really a bad day... Or rather month...

Tml's the last day of F.O.P!! Just hope that I can enter in... I really wanna go... Can't miss it this year....

August started out really bad!!! Really really bad!! And it's gonna suck through the whole month of August!! I don't know how, don't know why and don't know what... I just know it will be bad... Damn bad!! I don't expect good things to happen...

Probabaly nothing good will happen till I graduate from SP... I don't know...

It's a terrible day for me today... not gonna say why... It's just terrible... There are somethings that I realised that till today I'm still thinking about it... I just can't forget... And I begin to wonder how am I supposed to...

Probably I'll just live my life through out like that...

Finally!!! WEDNESDAY HAS OFFICALLY COME TO AN END!!!

It's been such a busy day today... And I was feeling dizzy coz I hadn't had a proper meal until just now... Instant noodles with lots of vegetables, one hotdog and egg... it sure taste good!!!

My mind is not working... And I'm having a headache and it's spinning inside my brain! Guess it's the lack of sleep since yesterday... And it's a tough day today...

Didn't mange to catch a proper sleep on monday night and on tuesday after school Joanne and I had to get the stuff for the flea market today... Seesh!!! Got our stuff and by the time I got home.. I'm already dead!! And I still have to study for CF re-test... Manage to get those bond, preferred shares into my head... And after that I had to do something to the accessories...

Slept at 2+ and woke up at 7... Rushed to school... Wasn't looking forward to today.... I dragged today... I had CF re-test, a stall at the flea market to tend and also ndoc performance... And we had sectionals with Mr tan just now...

Man!!! Imagine that my heart had to work so hard to pump blood to my brain to function (if I didn't get my facts wrongly)... Tried hard to concentrate... But sectionals was quite fun.... Though I don't have lots of pieces to play...

Ok till now I'm not sure what I'm saying.... I need SLEEP!!! S-L-E-E-P!!! YES! SLEEP!!!

Darnzz!!! There's trading lesson first thing in the morning...

It wasn't exactly a happy day... Though was excused from lessons due to the ndoc performance but the waiting part was horrible...

the freaking weather was so darn hot... I don't know what's the temperature BUT!! I'm definitely gonna get heat stroke if there wasn't any shelter there... Nv did I feel so dehyderated before... The walk from the sports complex to SB fc 6 was a chore to me... I could die man... I was out of breathe and thirsty that I could drink like a dog that had just finished it's run... we waited for like an hour plus before the STOOPID!! SAA people came and started to get things done!! We arrived at the sports complex at 1+ and FINALLY the full run through started 3+!!

Thank God we only bought the jazz set there or else i'll kill them!!

We actually needed the bass drum, timpani, crash & suspended cymbals, xylo & bellls but we only brought the jazz set!! haha... can't be bothered it's only a rehearsal... and we substitute the timpani rolling with the floor tom!! haha... for the national anthem... we could play every single parts for national anthem on the jazz set!!! ;)

but besides the horrible waiting part, there was something really funny... We had the SP kinderland kids doing dance for us... OH MY GOD!! They are so damn CUTE!! The way they dance with the poms poms and the song... S-I-N-G-A-P-O-R-E!! haha... it was so messy but that's the cute part... even the boys were like shaking their butts... That's daring!! I'm like so in love with them!! can't wait to see them on wednesday again.. this time round i'll take a video of them... :)

Suppose to be studying for TA now... But I'm so damn tired... And ya as expected I failed my CF... was mentally prepared... Gonna take the re-test...

ARGH!! I'm going nuts man!! Really... I seem to be jokin and laughing but deep down i'm really worried and tied up...

Tml I have TA test... after school I have to get the stuff for the flea market the next day... And I haev to rush home to study for CF... wed after the ndoc performance I have percussion ensemble with Mr tan... Thurs I have sectionals...

Saturday is the performance and I'm really worried... It's the first time we are doing a half an hour show... And we have yet to come out with the pieces... except for marching season, outdoor samba and jam...

It's not that I don't have faith in my section mates.. I don't have faith in myself... worried that I can't get things done... haiz... Guess I just have to let one day pass by itself and I'll see how...

OK! I don't give a FARKING DAMN ANYMORE!!! It's not my problem anymore!! Never it will... Heard it but not much of a feeling anymore... I wasn't pissed, wasn't sad... I did what I can in the past but you all just didn't think well of it in any way... Now things happen, both of you want me to do something about it... Don't you know that you two ask for it... When I was doing something both of you help them and when I'm don't give a fucking damn about them you want me to do something...

I said I washed my hands off this matter and I mean it... Their problem is never my problem anymore.. Anyways they won't listen so why waste my precious time when I can do so many things with all these time...

I'm sorry for being rude just now and shutting you up but I'm just being honest with this... She didn't feel that there's problem with her attitude... She's just asking for it therefore she should be responsible for her own action...

Whether if she find that she's in the wrong, is whether she realised her own mistake or not... There's no one able to help her except herself....

I didn't say it on an impulse... just saying what I have put in my heart for a long time...

If you want help I'm here... But if my help is not appreciated, then it's ok... I've more people appreciating my help...

this is so sian... My one week break is coming to an end in just abt less than an hour... DARN!! I never had enough rest at all!!! All the sleep I've lost... Damn... I'm feeling so lazy and slack...

I've got TA test on tues and I've yet to start... Think I'm gonna fail it again coz I don't understand a single shit!!

I'm kind of stressed out!!! With all the outdoor performance... There's just too many to say... Shan't mention it here..

I'm off to study... Hopefully

OH MY!!!! OH MAN!!! OH MY GOD!!! It's such a fruitful and wonderful day for me!!! You can't believe this!!! You can't believe who I met!!! You are not!!! And NEVER GONNA BELIEVE ME!!! I'm so happy!!! Ok probably not so...

I met DAVID TAO!!! YES!! HIM!!! Face to face... in private not in some stupid event... I met him in the studio!!! I heard him sing... Heard his conversation... EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!!! Man!!! HE's Damn good!!! He's so cool!!! Nobody knows!!! ONly me!!! and of coz those producers... Wasn't really excited when I see him... He's just some normal human... I don't wanna over-react and freak him out...

i'm not gonna say how I end up at that studio coz it's gonna be a long long story... I'm just happy I'm expose to another side of the world... :D And I'm looking forward to it... :)

OH YUCK!! I'm so sticky.... and tired... Went to school for the graduation performance... Not bad... We had a full band and the percussion section only....

We did "Outdoor Samba", "Marching Season" and "Jam"... well the first 2 piece wasn't well done... But "Jam" was good... We had fun!!!

After performance... Slept in the band room while waiting for Joanne to keep the scores... And some of the percussionists were playing the piano... Headed to Hollan V Swenses with the whole section except fot Fit... And we had unlimited scoops of ice-cream!! haha.. I had 5 cups!! Talk alot... Crap alot...

Slowly getting to know them better... Percussionists are just a hell crap bunch of people.. But we rock!!! haha...

I'm lack of sleep... After the camp plus today... I'm having a terrible headache... Gonna bath and take a rest... Oh!! And I'm having a stomache after 5 cups of ice-cream with breaded chicken!!

Finally back from my 4D3N band camp... Camp was not bad... had lots of sectionals especially on "Marching Season" coz there was section competition...

Percussion got 3rd... Not too bad... But what matters most is not the ranking... I'm proud of my year 1s!!! "Marching Season" is a very difficult piece which took us months to practice for the previous concert... But this group of people took 2 weeks plus.... I'm proud of them... And of coz my yr 2s and 3s!!!

As a section leader, I've achieve more than just the 3rd place... Got to know the yr 1s better through this camp... And hmm... looking forward towards more fun with these people...

Well that's all for now... I'm really tired and I've got to freaking wake up at 6.45am tml... coz I need to report to school at 8 to go through the performance for the graduation with them...

I still remember the courage that day... I admire that courage of mine... I never thought that it would ever come into my mind... Especially the mind of mine... With a mindset that freaks everybody out...

Reluctant as I am, I said that little prayer to God... I didn't know where that courage came from and the willpower to stay firm... That little war in my heart of doing or not doing it...

I'm glad I did it... the moment I finished saying that prayer and open my eyes... I didn't regret and in fact I felt better... Doing well and sticking to that little prayer... No regrets!

Just another tiring day for me... School started at 9... Oh ya talkin about that... started at 9, I woke up at 9... End up was late for my trading lesson... Didn't wanna go in the first place but didn't wanna go for make-up... So I decided to spend the money... Just a penalty of 15 points...

Ok... School ended at 5... and it ended with the most BORING LESSON!!! BD!! Headed for tuition at Lucky plaza then opposite my house... By the time I'm home, it's already 10+... *yAwNz*

Tired... having a headache... But I'm up packing my clothes coz they are piling up... And soon I'll be in my dreamland again...

school starts at 9 again tml... I hope I won't be late... But that's not gonna help much...

Time now is 1.35pm... And Mr Low is still not back... Missions failed!! The class is awaiting for his return...

It's TA lesson now... And the class is dead silence... More quiet than usual... Coz Mr Low left the classroom... Coz he has already lose half of us... Not just for this lesson but for almost all his lesson, we are basically not concentrating... So he left the lab but before that he talk to us nicely... He didn't shout or yell at us... Now this is the guilty part... So nice yet not appreciated by us... some of my classmates have gone to apologise... wonder what's the conversation like?

I'm having my TA notes in front of me... Reading it through coz I know NUTS about this topic... And after reading... I conclude..... I KNOW NUTS EITHER!!! I'm freaking tired, my eyes are heavy and nothing gets into my brain... I have to read it like several times before I know what is it about...

EA test was ok can pass but think it's gonna be border line only...

Went to see DR Eu just now... And just like tat 175 bucks is gone... YES JUST LIKE TAT!! And I'm still on the bloody medication which I really drag taking... Just hope this would be the last month...

Was on the train home and Denis said something... At that moment I didn't know how to answer him... I looked away when I answer him and I could feel that tears was filling my eyes... How am I suppose to answer something that I, myself, don't even know what's going on... It brought be back once again...

The clock is ticking and each day past like that... I don't know how I manage to survive but I did... Those feeling initially I could remember so clearly... When I was in the state of depression, the next moment wasn't important at all... Death was nothing at all coz you feel that you don't belong here at all... All you wanted to do was to hide and be isolated... I still remember those thoughts I have in mind... *geessshhhh* It's scary man... I'm glad those thoughts are gone for GOOD!

Though I'm not happy now... With all those unnecessary stress from tuition, band and school... And wanting to be left alone but I'm glad life is back to normal... Though not as interesting, but at least it's back to the way it is before...

Won't exactly say that I'm back to the normal me... Coz I know deep inside how I have change... My thinking and my directions... But I guess I've mature alot...

I'm having EA test tml... And I'm at my last chapter, left with a few more pages... But I'm still not confident enough... yet to go thru my tutorials and I need to go thru them again...

Took the day off from school today... Ok I skipped school... Stayed at home with the intention to study... but hmm... I think I watch TV more than I study... Just hope tml won't be a killer paper... Lecturers that are super slack but in actual fact they are smart ass!! What's with these people??!!!

I manage to smoke thru my FIA... But I doubt I can pass for CF... Quite sure about it...

Just had a talk with Jerm... I'm glad I called her... Feeling much better now... And glad to clear things up... Though it's not much of a big matter but small matters accumulate to become big... So I'm glad I clean up that black spot...

And anyway in the first place it was because of me that that small little arguement arose... It was my mood...

Been in a rather bad mood recent.. And for those we had suffer under me for the past few weeks... I'm really sorry...

OK off to study for EA...

In conclusion... It's been a bad day... I don't wanna talk about it... The next few days would be as sucky too...

I'm not in the mood to do things with others... Except myself...

I need to get away... I need a place to hide and be alone... I wanna turn off my phone and just leave everything untouch for a little moment... But each time when I wanna do so, the situation doesn't allows me too...

I can't off my phone coz of tuition... I have to teach almost like everyday... I can't off it coz I need to msg the section about band prac and sectionals...

I just wanna put this responsibility down for a moment.. Leave it... Be irresponsible... Heck care... And totally not give a shit about it...

Who am I?

Impatient, short-tempered, awfully disgusting, selfish, uncaring, inconsiderate... blah blah blah... All the bad words that can be used... applies to me...

What has become of me? I don't know... I've been like that... I think I'm really an awful person... I feel so low...

I don't know what happen to my 2 tests too... My mind at that moment... seriously went blank but I seem relax about it...

I just wanna be left alone seriously... I need to do some time for self-reflection... And I need to quiet down to sort out somethings myself...

I wanna be alone!! So pls allow me to!!

Watch your thoughts, it becomes words.
Watch your words, it becomes actions.
Watch your actions, it becomes habit.

Finally!!

I finally packed my room!! I packed my table, cupboard and my bags... I took some of my new clothes to wash already... *pHeW*... it's so much neaty now...  But there's still somemore that needs to be wash and I wonder when would be the next time... ;) Below are the clothes which I bought recently... Some of them I bought months again but have not wash it! :)



Bought the four pair of earrings ytd... :)

Bought this skirt today at $16... It's so me!! That's what they said!

Oh man!! I simply love this pants!! I love the green... Oh ya! I've got a sudden craze into green nowadays... I wore it for my mum to see and she said it's so indian! YEAH! That's the style I like!!

This t-shirt cost 10 bucks only!!!

bought this 2 tops from Giordano... Don't know why...

Baleno top which I bought like in Feb and just wash it today... oh no... I have not wash it yet coz there's no more space to hang it... :)

Bought this from "ebase".. $12.50....

Ok the next few tops are from "Mango"!! Which left me so upset when I didn't get it and went crazy while waiting to go get it!!

This is $13... The one top which I left "Mango" feeling so upset... Just for this top they gave me a freaking big bag which I could fold it and carry like a purse?

A retro tube top... Will only wear it if I get my half black cardigain... :D

Jeans from "Mango"

OK!! This is the top that I LOVE!!! I really went crazy over it! And could help thinking abt it!!!

Another top from "Mango"

This top is from "Four skin"... Bought it for $9.90... "Sex cures headaches just comes three a day"... That's the reason for buying it!! OK!! Don't think otherwise!

Bought this at bugis for $15 i think...



my favourite moomoo top from Giordano Junior!

A formal top... Won't wear this unless it's a presentation day...

From Ebase - $19

I simply love shopping!! And there's Mango sales today!! AH!! And I didn't go... But it's ok... Not really in the mood to shop... The weather is so bloody hot today!! I could just melt even standing under the shade while waiting for the traffic!!

And anyways I'm quite satisfied... Coz I've been spending money like there's no TML!! GOSH!! I need to stop!! CONTROL is the word!! Ok gotta pack accessories!!

I need more hangers!! No... I need a new wardrobe! A room to myself would be the best!!! MY freaking cupboard has no space anymore!! And I have not wash my clothes! My room is in a mess now... I don't know where to start to pack...

Wanted to spend my time to pack today but sadly I failed!

Tml is a long long day... I have CF tutorial in the morning, then follow by EA and then a make-up FO practical! Hopefully it ends at abt 3+ .... Coz at 5pm the percussion section has an audition so we need to rehearse!!!

The audition is for performance in Bintan in October... It's some random rich man who initially wanted the Jazz band to perform at his hotel but Ms Hope open up to the percussion section... CHEERS!! If we get in to the audition THEN our trip to Bintan in October would be sponsored!! Everything... the stay the food... hmm... think we would be paid too... I think so... can't really remember...

Oh yeah... The percussion section has got lots of cool offers!!! The "milkrun" was just over... And now!! We have more offers!!

16 July - People's Association's "Rthymn of Youths"
Between 6-14 Aug - National Day Celebrations At Marina South Carnival
27 Aug - Orchard Rd Busking Event

Totally cool!! Never thought that we would go this far...

But... Some of them are tired already... *sigh*

Don't know what to say... Don't wanna stress them... Will just keep it to myself then...

Signing off!

HAHA!!! I'm so happy!! Am Satisfied!! I've gotten my tops at mango!! I bought 3 tops and a pair of jeans from "Mango"!!! And a t-shirt from four skin!!

Man!! I feel so good now!! Spent about 100+ for these five items... :)

Oh my god!! I feel so good! haha... Ok I'm really crazy... I still remember this morning when I waited for tiime to pass... Am really going crazy!! The moment I step into the Shop and got hold of my tops!!! I felt SAFE!!! *pHeW*

Don't know what's gotten over me! These is the second time that I find myself SO CRAZY over something...

Now I have 4 bags of new clothes to wash.. 2 big ones... Hmm... Think I shld wash them tml... Since school starts at 3... Just hope that I don't slp too much!! ;)

I'm so sad!! So heart-broken!!! I can't believe that happen!! I can't believe that I actually did that!! I can't believe that I came out of Mango with only 1 top!!! When I wanted to buy 3 tops!!! Coz I've not enough bucks!!!! ARGH!!! SOB!!!! I had enough money to buy 2!! But I don't know why?! And I didn't buy my fav one!!! ARGH!!!!

I just pray hard it's there tml!! I've asked my sis to go down tml morning to get it for me!! Just hope it's still there!!! Don't you people take it away from me!!!

I'm tired? Woke up early today to rehearse for the sunday performance... somehow it's ok already... Hopefully...

Am stoning at home now... There's band bbq later... Hope it would be good!

Oh ya!! Christopher Cheong, my FO lecturer, called me this morning!! When I was still sleeping! Imagine the way I speak to him man!! Is he nuts or what?! 7 in the morning?! Crazy... Ok anyways that's not the issue! He called and asked for the reason why I didn't turn up for the first FO lesson... I told him that I was excused from class that day and I have already submitted the excuse letter!! I mean didn't they change the whole system?!! And he said he don't care, no matter what I do i must show him EVIDENCE!! When I can produce NO SHIT!! Thank God! I didn't delete the confirmation from the SAS... And I have already attended my 3rd lesson, and until now then he asked me to go for a make-up for the first lesson!! HELLO!! EFFICIENCY!!! It's like way long already!!! Whatever!! I'll just go for that damn lesson....

That was one of the thing that spoilt my mood even before I'm fully awake from my sleep... The second thing was that... Till today I wasn't able to get full attendance and the performance is on sunday... And that really pisses me off! Didn't I state it clearly that everybody must come? If there's a need for me to be more strict and be a bitch in everybody's eyes! Then i'll be one!!!

Everything is just shit now... I'm not in a good state recently... Little things pisses me off.. i'm losing my patience with people... And if things ain't going my way, i'll be pulling a long face...

Whatever it is... I just hope this period of time would go past faster... And for the time being... I really need to be alone...

Finally we are done with the composition for the sunday's performance at Zouk... Was a tiring day for everybody yesterday... But nevertheless... We came out with it... Hope it's gd!

Can't really rmb what I want to blog... But just one word... I'm emotionally not stable recently... I get agitated easily....