Fear. A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Or it can be explain as concern or anxiety; solicitude.

Stress. The importance or significance attached to a thing; emphasis: to lay stress upon good manners. Which in this case, it's not what I'm talking about. It's more of a physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.

Stress level is slowly building up. And at this time, I'm losing all the sleep that I'm suppose to have. Energy is using up but not replenished for me to go further. I could be so tired when I reached home,almost drained and dead. But as I lie low on my bed, I can't sleep. Finally when I'm into dreamland, I found myself awake checking the time on my hp. And that was only an hour or so of sleep. To fall asleep again, it would be 3-4 hours later and waking up at intervals of 1-2 hours.

As usual, sleep was the way it was. Despite that had to wake up at 8 in the morning for service. Still it was a long day ahead. No matter how sleepy, I had to get it going. Student's exams are round the corner. To be exact. 2 more weeks. At this point of time, I really hope that God could give me more than 24 hours a day. Maybe 48 hours? yea. 2 days in one day. I could do tons of things. I could go through as much as I want.

Responsibility is the thing that makes the word "STRESS" look even bigger than ever. Time is running out. I know. The tiring thing is that I have to run after it. The cruel fact? Time waits for no man. I don't mind skipping dinner or losing sleep, or even teach till the wee hours, so long as they do well.

Feeling stressful is already a big burden. At the same time, I'm fearful. I have so many things running through my head. I was holding to it so firmly and I thought I have gotten over it. In fact,convinced myself. And I have come close to losing it, something that I struggled so hard to hold on to. Now. I would gripped on to it real tight. So tight that no one can take it away from me.

My fear?

Everything just happen all at a time. I've to face it alone and try to do it alone. There's no one who can help me or go through it with me. No one. I'm not even sure if I can get it right yet I have to get it right.

A week has finally past. It wasn't the kind of week that I thought it would be like. It seem so long on monday that saturday is coming. And now it's already saturday. Finally a day for just myself to sort out my thoughts.

So much things had happen this week. Bitter,sweet,sour and spicy. I had it all. One after another. Have not been sleeping well. Turn in early, divert my calls to my voicemail. But still I just could not sleep through. I woke up every intervals of 3-4 hours.

Went to bed at 9 on monday. But was haunted by worst nightmare that one could ever had. Work. 888......3414.... 888.....8697....5,000,000.... Figures. yes it keep flashing in my head,before my eye. Something that I do everyday,suddenly I seem stuck. I could not even get a simple payment done.

I open my eyes in fear and tried forgetting abt it. But once I shut my eyes. There it goes again.

It wasn't the same for the next couple of days but getting into a deep and proper sleep was impossible. Wish I could take one large sleeping pill and just knock out. Wanted to get it from Hannah ytd but I had an appt which was cancelled this morning.

Work was boring ytd. I finished early at 6.30. Was tired but I wanted to go for a shopping spree. From a shopping spree to waiting for an hour plus at the salon for Hannah to get her hair cut and highlight. Boy!! Never knew I had so much patience! Thankfully I had the company of my MP3 player that I would die without it.

Pretty stylist haircut! The reason she took so long was because!!! Her hairstylist said! Your friend is so stylist! You can't lose to her!! haha... MAN! He's so cute!! Made me happy cause this! was coming from a hairstylist, that knew how to appreciate it!

Headed to Bugis for a SHORT shopping, manage to bought a dress at a steall of 22 bucks! And met up with Wei Shan. Spent sometime at Breko. Had salad for dinner, well it's still better than nothing. Talk and had a good laugh!

As usual. Hannah was rushing me to talk to my mum and asked if I could move out and stay! OH!!! I just love the idea of it!! The smell of freedom... oh no! not freedom . I have that already! it's INDEPENDENCE!!! The whole idea of it just excites me!! I've always wanted to move out and learn how to be independent.

It would be even better that I could leave this place. Study overseas. Due to restrictions! uh huh... like money! I was thinking maybe I could finished up my studies here and get a job overseas!! Perfect plan!

While reading, I'm not sure if you can feel how I feel or the kind of feeling that I'm giving. The desperateness of leaving this place. The desire for a whole new environment and experience. There are so much more out there to see.

Thought of joining world vision to third world countries to help, perharps from there I'm able to learn that my problems are far incomparable to what they are going through. We worried about what to eat for lunch,what we should wear to work to look good,what brand of shampoo is good. But there's only one thing on these people's mind. I survived through today but what about tml?

A question that would never be asked by most of us here.

oh well... all these are the plans I have in mind. I still have to complete my studies and get my degree.

Talking about degree! I went for my interview at UniSim! I got accepted! for the JUL 08 intake! Cause I met NONE of their criteria!! I had to be 21 and above and 2 years working experience!!! What a joke!! But the lady was kind enough to tell me what I could do. I didn't know what to do after she said that. Are you trying to tell me that I can get in and have to try next yr?! But fortunately she accepted me. So I'll have to wait till Jan 08 to take some certificate programmes which are modules in the course and when I start in Jul I could be exempted. At least time is saved! =)

Funny huh!! When you applied for it, they didn't call and tell me. Instead asked me to go for an interview. But if i'm not wrong, I think the place is secured. Gotta wait for their call. So now I don't have to save so much! At least I can spend a tiny bit! Not too much of cause!

Caught "300" on thursday! oh boy!!!THE SPARTANS!!! I could pay for another time to see their SIZZLING SEXY hot bodies!!! Each and every one of them!!! Of cause the main point isn't that. Lazy to type more. So just read up or watch it for those we have not!!

Time to PACK!

I've always believe that everyone around me,people i know and don't know, are all pure and innocent. At least that's the way I chose to look at people. Everyone is good.

But as the truth are uncovered before my eyes. I realise I was wrong. The world is not made up of only the good ones. Balance is the word. The bad ones balance it.

Everyone of us,when born into this world, we brought nothing with us. We don't even know what lying is. And if the world wasn't that complicated and if humans was not that vulnerable, till today we won't know what lie is. People lie to get what they want. People lie so that they can run away from responsibilities.

That incident. Has taught me the greatest lesson in my life. Don't trust men.

Each time I look back , I feel so ashame of myself. For not being able to be strong and breakdowning in front of so many people. And this kind of feeling makes me feel pathetic of myself. Pride and dignity. I've lost it that time. And I vow that I won't breakdown in front of anyone else! Not for anything. Especially for some stupid issue.

You may think I'm silly and stupid. You may feel that I'm just a pathetic girl trying too hard. But that's the only way I can protect myself from having another wound which would heal but leave a scar forever.

I have to be tough and strong. Even if i'm not. I have to act tough. To not get hurt.

The world is changing. In fact too fast. People are having different concepts now. So different that sometimes I wonder am I too outdated and conservative or people are just too open-minded.

Sometimes the relationship between some girls and guys are just so complicated. Some could bring themselves to toy with people's feelings. Not anyone in specifically.

Question. How could they ever bear to do it?

I did ever thought of not being serious,have some flings and play with people's feelings. But I realise I can't. I can't bring myself to be so cruel to people. The thought of vulnerable ones going through that process.

Don't we all belong to the same species? How could one wonderful creation be so cruel to another. Leaving ugly scars on their hearts, that no matter how much he/she trys to conceal. You could see it in her eyes when she's deep in thoughts.

It's the state I'm in now. Scars that gives me the fear of trusting anyone,not even my closest one.

I remember Aud once said that I'm too independent. Independent? I never thought this word would be used on me. Never ever did I think I was.

This was what she replied.

"Sometimes I still wanna depend on my mother on some things."

I think otherwise. I didn't wanna depend on my mum ever since I came out to work. Though she still gives me pocket money. If i'm accepted for Uni. I'm gonna support myself through the years of uni. Working full-time and studying part-time is not gonna be easy. But I'll do it. I would rather suffer for a few years than to depend on my parents or my relatives. That is. Another stage to go through to be even stronger,since i'm the eldest in the family.

However tough it is, I will not give up. I'm not gonna let anyone see the weak me.

Enough said till here. Too much to digest.

Anyways caught 2 movies recently.


Watched "The number 23" last night. Pretty ok show. Abit of twist and turns. But!!

"Freedom writers" is highly recommended. =)

This scence was really touching. What this kids had gone through are things that were not happen when it was 1992 in Singapore. And also the part that they realise some adult is listening to them like they never before.

The debate session. Totally no idea what they were arguing about. Probably the battle between the 2 sexes.Respect.

Lastly! Ain't he Charming!!

I'm giving way. My body is. My mind is.

I'm stressed up and tired. One week five days I worked almost 10-12 hours. Probably longer for some people. But for me. It's tiring. And weekends I'll have to run around for tuition. And stress is building up on my shoulder that I can no longer lift it up.

My students' exams are round the corner. Probably in 3 weeks time. And I've so much things to do. I'm worried about their results. Worried for them. To me,their bad results is my failure.

Time is just running out. And because of work. Having tuition on weekdays are always so difficult. By the time I finish, it would be too late to go over. And I can't just throw my work to my authoriser. It makes me feel irresponsible.

Told Eanna and Lydia that I'll have to leave early during late aprils and may. I feel guilty.

Am I too responsible or what? I hate leaving my work to someone else to do just cause I need to rush off. It pisses me off. Though my bosses don't mind. They knew from the very first day that I was giving tuition.

And I've never thought of giving up anyone of the 3. They are my students but the kind of close relationship it's more than a student-tutor kind of relationship. I'm not sure how they feel, but that's how I feel.

At times they do pissed me off for not doing their work. But when worries sets in, anger is just nothing at all.

Well just gonna hang in there for one more day. After which it's a long weekend. From thursday to monday and back to work on tuesday.

Pretty packed for all the days. In fact all packed up!

Gotta head to bed. The pain in my head is making me insane!

Deception. The world is full of it.

I've learnt. Not to trust.

My Drunkards experience.

I'm not sure how many of us have had experience with drunkards before and how their small little actions could trigger the laughter in you. I've always thought that getting yourself drunk was the most unglam state to get into. All the puking,shouting and blabbering that doesn't make any cow sense at all.

Till date. I've seen 3 man. erm... 1 man and 2 guys, drunk.

The first person and the most unexpected one was my dad. That was a hilarious one. I remember studying in the room with my sisters and my parents came home with my auntie. And they told us our dad was drunk. No one actually believed till we saw it with our own eyes.

For the first time I saw my dad drunk and being carried into the house. He just sat on the kitchen floor totally knock out but still blabbering... Vulgarities in hainanese! I'll never forget that.

Come on!! It's my dad!! The father that was so stern and strict to us when we were younger. The one that look like a monster when he holds the cane up. Is now seated on the kitchen floor half-dead and blabbering vulgarities.

We could do nothing except for standing there,stare at him and laughing.

The second experience was one of my classmate. Which I think most prob we would just give it a miss cause it was nothing much as compared to the first and third experience, which was yesterday.

And I've learnt a lesson. "How to babysit a drunkard".

Drunkard babysitted yesterday-swee wah.

T'was his 21st birthday! I've already wished him so not another time. For the first time in my whole damn 6 years, I saw him PISSED DRUNK. No need for more description of how a drunkard would behave. =) It's his 21st!

Conclusion?

I resent drunkards. For some reason.

3 hours of sleep was what I had. And I'm starving now and my eyelids are getting heavier. Pizza is taking it's own sweet time. HUNGER WAITS FOR NO FOOD!

ok. Probably that didn't make a single sense. But it's FOOD and SLEEP that I can think of now.


I wanna get this!

The one and only issue that has been weighing me down is now a burden off.

Submitted my application for Uni after thinking and considering for a long time.

It wasn't easy but it wasn't that tough either.

Decision making always makes me feel like a bitch. I hate myself for being indecisive and at those moments. I would hope for someone to make a decision for me. But too bad. Sometimes adults,i mean family and relatives,tell you to make your own decision. And when you finally made up your mind and tell them watcha wanna do. They would start giving comments and say it's not good. There's no future. And they would like to end the sentence with.

"I'm just telling you. Giving you comments. But ultimately,it's you to decide. It's your life, you don't live under my shawdows."

AND! They would give that face.

So what am I suppose to do?

That's how it's like in my family. They like to do that.

But hell no am I gonna do what I'm doing in poly. No more finance! NO no no!

That was my first big thing in my life at the moment. For now it's just waiting.

Work was fine this work. I knock off before 7.30pm almost everyday! What more can I ask for? More pay rise?!

Certainly hope so.

Sick sick sick... I'm feeling sick.

Anyways after thinking for so long and searching. Getting lost and confused in between. I've finally made up my mind.

Watched "The pursuit of Happyness" yesterday night. Well not a bad show. An inspiration show.

"Don't ever let anyone stop you from doing what you dream. Not even me."

That was what Will Smith said to his son in the show.

The cutest dude in the whole show!

Next thing.

Barclays and ABN Amro intend to merge.

Barclays, ABN Amro in talks to create banking giant
Posted: 20 March 2007 0444 hrs

ONDON : Dutch bank ABN Amro and British banking group Barclays on Monday confirmed they were in "early and exploratory" talks over a possible merger to create the world's fifth-largest bank.

Shares in ABN Amro had soared 9.6 percent earlier on press reports that Barclays wanted to make an offer to buy the Dutch group.

"Barclays PLC confirms that it is in exclusive preliminary discussions with ABN Amro Holding NV concerning a potential combination of the two organisations which will create value for both sets of shareholders," Barclays, the third-biggest British bank, said in a statement.

"These discussions are the result of careful consideration to create a highly complementary partnership. The talks are at an early and exploratory stage and there can be no certainty that they will lead to a transaction."

A takeover by Barclays of ABN Amro would create a group with a market capitalisation of more than US$160 billion (120 billion euros), making it the world's fifth-biggest behind Citigroup, Bank of America, both of the United States, China's ICBC and British rival HSBC.

The combined enterprise would have 47 million clients and employ 220,000 people in 50 countries.

Analysts viewed a tie-up as being positive for ABN Amro which is under pressure from some of its shareholders who want to break it up.

"After recent activist investors pushing ABN to break-up, a merger with a highly respected bank as Barclays may not be something they could refuse," Dresdner Kleinwort analysts James Eden and Ian Gordon said in a research note before the announcement.

The Dutch bank, which has big interests in emerging economies, is facing break-up demands from hedge fund investors The Children's Investment Fund (TCI) and Toscafund, which want management to sell assets separately to make profits for shareholders.

Meanwhile, analysts said that Barclays could also face competition for ABN Amro from other banks, including BNP Paribas or Societe Generale in France, US-based Wachovia and Spain's Banco Santander Central Hispano. They are all thought to be interested in acquiring parts of the ABN Amro empire.

Barclays's stock dropped 0.8 percent to 677 pence on Monday.

"The value of ABN broken up is more than the whole. Royal Bank of Scotland or Wachovia could buy ABN's US and Treasury businesses, while Santander could buy its Brazilian and European retail banking businesses," said Magnus
Mathewson, banks analyst at stockbroker Hitchens Harrison.

A deal between Barclays and ABN Amro was first mooted two years ago but was torpedoed by the chief executive of the Dutch bank, Rijkman Groenink.

Groenink had insisted then that cultural, legislative and governance differences meant that ABN Amro would be the "junior" partner in the deal and would be "absorbed" by Barclays.

The market capitalisation of Barclays is currently 44.3 billion pounds while ABN Amro is 39.1 billion pounds, so the difference in size persists.

Barclays said last month that its net profit surged to a record 4.571 billion pounds last year, while ABN Amro announced a rise in profit of 7.6 percent to 4.78 billion euros for 2006. - AFP/de.

Question,question,question.

I'm sick of it and am tired of it for the day. All my energy are drained thinking and thinking.

Thinking about my future. Thinking what I should do.

I'm trying so hard to relax now and stop thinking at least for today.

So vexed over it.

I'm feeling kind of sucky,down and irritated. About what I don't know. Probably it's just coming back.

My mood just took a 360 degree turn when I came back.

It was calm and peaceful at first.

Out out out. I need to get out of this place.

Been thinking about my future. My studies.

The thought of studying overseas was one of the options in my list but money has always got to get into the picture and spoil everything. And so from studying overseas,I changed my mind to working overseas. At least I'm going over for a source of income.

Question: Can I survive all alone out there?

yes I can. It's a challenge.

The other thing is to move out and stay. why? Cause I wanna be independent.

Ok bullshit. I don't wanna stay with my sisters that's the reason. Partially. Probably if I move out and see them once in awhile, I'll learn how to appreciate them for who they are. It takes a person to realise how important someone else is when you lose it. I'm doing it that way and I think it's better. Probably our relationship would improve slightly.

I've always tell my friends don't be so mean to your siblings but I don't practice what I preach. It's true. Cause I'm like that to them and I don't want it to happen to my friends.

I hate to poke my nose into my sisters' affairs and try to tell myself that what they do has got nothing to do with me. Egoistic as it may seems. Selfish I may appear to people. But I'm leaving it the way it is cause life would be so much simplier and easier.

Work was good today. Left early and headed back to SP band to made payment for the Japan trip.
Yup am going Japan with SP band in June.

Going back just brought back so many memories and they will playing "Highlights from Chess".

Oh boy how I miss those players when we're in year 1. Had so much fun!

Caught up with some peeps, had a really short talk but t'was good enough.

Dinner was settled at Holland V with aud and weiloong. As usual Jo was missing. So we've gotta plan another outing.

Took time off tml from work to give tuition in the morning. Feeling so guilty but it makes me even more guilty that my student is not really doing well. Anyways it's an hour only and work only comes in after 10. So it would be just in time when i'm in.

Gonna catch the a movie with Swee wah tml. =)



All set to see some hot dudes!!! =)

The sound of my alarm intruded into my precious sleep and gave me the worse feeling I could ever wake up with.

I dragged myself out of my bed and walk sleepily to the bathroom to take my bath while thinking what would be the attire for the day. And so I decided to go for a lazy choice. One that I could just take from the cupboard and not iron.

Put it on but didn't exactly felt great.

Just when you know that monday blues are terrible enough, work has always gotta poke it's "nose" into it.

The HK system that I was using to process my transactions were super duper slow!! How slow? Slow enough that if it was a living thing, I would strangle him to death with all my patience already ran out. For 11 freaking hours, I had to bear with the system. Everybody was frustated.
And I had a high volume today, definitely more than 100, and processing alone. I stayed till 1015pm.

Am so tired and worn out now. Gonna have a good sleep. It's yet another day tml.

Okies before going to bed. Some photos to share when I went to bintan for team building.

View from our room

The swimming pool.

And yes!!! Our room!!!

Despite that,I still went ahead to take a photo there. =)

My best roomie for 2 nights!

The nice and soothing "Killing me softly" from my windows media player is getting me so relax. And getting tipsy and lay back with the Susan wong's voice.

Jazz,Jazz. The wonderful relaxing effect it has on such a quiet night with just me and my lappie.

Time now is 11.58pm. Been wanting to update about what was going on in my life since 9? or maybe earlier. ha... but chatting and "Ugly Betty" has took it away. =)

So I'm back here trying to update this blog of mine.

Pretty good week. Work was ok. Knocking off slightly earlier as compared to the other times. 9pm. Not much of early I can talk about but still hoping for a better change.

Mid-march is coming and I've yet to do something so important. That is to sign up for Uni. I've everything planned. No. It was changing and changing. But now that I've decided, I'm afraid of taking a step forward.

The initial plan was to sign up and do full-time in marketing and leave ABN in july.Now it's to take part-time in marketing and continue to work full-time in ABN. But the problem is that I'm not sure to go for a course that goes along with my interest or a course that would guarantee a bright career prospect.

Probably interest would be a better choice. Anyways anyhow, we'll see. Gotta get it done real soon.

Anyways went to watch a concert at Esplande with Arvin yesterday. Performance by "Tower of Power". Really good band. Good vocalist,drummer. Every one were good. The crowd was good too. Everybody was dancing. "Young at heart" was what I could see yesterday.

The kind of music from dreamgirls. Found better choice of music. Thanks to Arvin's recommendation. Wouldn't have had such a good time. Made my 60 bucks worth it all.


And yeah some pics from "Dreamgirls".

Boy oh boy!! I love Keith Robinson!! They should just change the roles of Jamie Foxx(Jimmy) and Keith Robinson (C.C). But well come to think of it. I think I just had a change of mind! Cause in the show Jimmy was some big time arse! So C.C is too nice. We'll jsut leave it that way. He being the nice,charming and talented songwrite who produce music with da'soul! =)

Oh man. I love Blacks! Auds love whites.

Love this scence. Jennifer Hudson(played Effie white) was so passionate. Really touching scence. Being abandon and helpless with a lose of direction. Love the character,Effie.

Okies tat's all folks!

Ciaoz! =D

Don't say I didn't try... I did k. =)

Anyways, dad bought dinner back for mum and I. And since I rarely see them and have dinner with them. Thought it would be good to have dinner with them in the kitchen since I'm home early.
I'm not the kind who can sit and just eat in the kitchen. I need TV!! I need to watch and eat at the same time.

I know it's bad for stomach. Indigestion. But sorry! It's a habit already. Hard to kick off. Never want to anyways.

So hard for trying. When they finished their food, I'm not even a 1/4 done. =)

In the end I still ended up in front of the tv...

I just SNAPPED my long hair! =)

yup your eyes are not playing tricks on you.

I snapped it real short. How short?

It's just really short. =D

A MAJOR BIG change.

Finally march has come. Have been in abn for 7 mths plus and how time flies.

Thinking back... I didn't know how I could survive those times when I was so stressed up and doing near 200 transactions alone. Staying to 10+ 11 almost everyday. Any healthy human would just fall sick. And I was almost on the verge of collapsing and giving up.

But well things are back in order now. Going back at 7 or 8 is more possible.

Probably God knew that I could not claim OT anymore from this month onwards. And have upgraded from giving one month notice to 3 months notice if I ever wanna quit.

No more OT claims and joining the 3 months notice for resignation club doesn't sound good at all huh.

But it would look good on my resume in future. Something that I can be proud of.

So I'm not sure if this promotion is good or not.

Well... will see how it goes. Guess it won't be that bad with God around.

Haven been updating for quite awhile. Busy with work and everything. Leave was well spent doing things that I should.

Had a good break... a long weekends last week. Took half day on friday and full day on monday. Monday was well spent with Jess. She's been here for almost a month and I haven got much time to spend with her since she came back from Perth.

Took the day off. And just like the good o'days, we went shopping like crazy. I spent like 200 over bucks buying.... a pair of jeans,a skirt, a wallet, 2 tops, 2 bags and 3 watches. if I didn't miss out anything it should be all. There was supposed to be a dinner gathering with her brother,my sisters and a couple of our friends. But thing just went the other way and in the end it was cancelled. And we went separate ways to meet our friends.

Wat else did I do.

Watched "Dreamgirls". DAMN! Hell of a good show! I wanna watch it again! well tat's if I have the time to. But I'm so gonna get the sound track. Best show ever.

Okies... gonna zionk out.

I'm not sure to be happy or not.

If happiness was water... Then there isn't a single drop of it in me.

Somehow I'm just not happy. Not satisfied. It's not worth the amount of work I'm doing.

Now I just have to be double efficient.

Work,yes to my amazement,it ended at 7.30pm sharp.

And the bus came at exactly 7.35pm. Headed home for a bath before I went out to catch a moive. Watched "Ghost Rider" with Swee Wah. Not a bad show. But I simply could take the volume. It was way too loud for me and we were sitting to near.

But overall it's still ok. Tired but come on! I finished early like once in a blue moon! I had to go have some life.

Okies. Tired.Seeing stars already.

Ciaoz!

Was expecting a massive traffic jam down at Keppel Road this morning since it's the first day of work after chinese new year. And people might still be in the holiday mood. Well at least for me it is. But it turn out otherwise,the traffic for smooth sailing and there wasn't even a slightest jam to talk about.

And I suddenly thought to myself. Oh shit. Am I supposed to start work today. Was it tomorrow? I didn't want to dress up and reach the office just to realise that I've made a mistake in coming in to work today.

I was hoping I was right but too bad. It ain't that good.

Despite staying home to rest for the past 2 days, I am still very sleepy now. Reason?
I slept at 2+ last night.

And now. Even the fax machine which has rested for so many days is down. Probably everybody and everything needs abit of warming up. I missed the bus in the morning and had to take a cab or I may just reach miserably at 9.45am. 9.30am is already bad enough. So I took a cab and guess what. The cabbie needs warming up too. T'was a lady cabbie. From the look and the smell of her cab, I reckon she was new. Plus the fact that she didn't know her way from my house to ORQ. Given that it was only a short distance and most cabbie would have know how to reach here.

I was thinking of catching some sleep while on the way to work. I mean that's what all of us would do after a late night sleep. But sad to say. I could not. She could not even read the signboards or road boards clearly.

Was rather annoyed but tried to be patient. After all, everybody has their first time. =)

I'm starting to think the break was to get prepared for the battle today. I have not done anything for today. I did but it was from last week. I have a bad feeling and I'm quite sure about it. Emails are coming in. Incoming logs has reached 34 and given the time now., it's way too early for this figure.

What's more can I expect.

My leave on friday!

The break that I finally long for is gonna be over soon, that is in less than 24 hours time.

But this break just came right on time.

Before that, Happy Chinese New Year Peeps!! Hope you guys had a great one! I did. Lots of sleeping and resting at home. Just lazing around.

It's the 3rd day of chinese new year and I've finished all my house visiting on the first day! =D
Didn't collect much of hong baos since I've only been to my uncle's house. And the thing I was looking forward to for this cny wasn't the hong baos, it was more of the rest and sleep I could get.

Work has totally took all my time that I didn't not had time to spring clean and given the mess in my room, I knew I need the time badly.

And so friday I finished work at 9.30pm, I definitely could not do it cause I was dead beat. I came back feeling so tired and really wanting to give this job up. But a good sleep does it all.

And thank God, I didn't have to go back to work on saturday. Boy! It was new year's eve! So it was spent packing the room. Phew. Lucky me. I had my cousins to help me. So it wasn't that bad.More hands, twice the speed. Did all the vaccum,mopping and cleaning. Didn't really do a thorough one. But good enough as compared to before. And I realised I have so many new clothes that I have not washed!!! Some have been there for almost a year!!! And it's still there!! oh God!!! I need to really do something to it. That is! Washed them soon!!!

I could almost fall asleep while packing. All of us were tired and sleepy! Started packing from 1pm and just in time for our reunion dinner, without taking a bath yet! =D

We had steamboat this year... again... But we never got sick of it. It's fun. And another thing that never change every year is... We would never fail to quarrel with each other. But I would say it's kind of tame this year. It lasted for awhile. But not as bad as the previous year.

And without fail, our programme after the dinner would be to join the crowd after dinner. But sadly, this year i was too tired and had the only intention to zonk out at home. No matter how my sisters persuaded me to go, I just rejected them. That they just got to bed. Cause they knew they failed.

Did I ever tell you I have a soft spot for friends?

If I didn't, now you know.

Jerm called me at exactly 15 mins before the clock strikes 12! To ask me to go chinatown!!! I told her I was tired and I really need rest... blah blah... but like I said. I can't reject a friend. So we went instead. Was supposed to wait for my cousins and his friend to come home for a game of monopoly. So in the end change of plan. My sisters,cousins, Jerm and I, a total of 7 of us went to chinatown. But it was quite a bore this year, probably we went too late. It wasn't as squeezy and I didn't manage to get anything at all. ok except for 3 pair of earrings. That's all. It was so bored.

We stayed there for only 1-2 hours, went to look for my cousin's friend whose working at party world ktv. Talked to him for awhile and headed to look for swee wah.

We met, we talked and look at each other. Guess what?! We didn't know where to go or what to do! We stood by the road thinking and thinking and thinking.

Final decision?! To head to my house for monopoly! Imagine 7 people in the middle of the night! No not middle! It was already 3.30am! At that time, we were still laughing and shouting loudly!! For your info,my house isn't that big. But we... no they! had fun. I was practically too tired to play the game. Paired up with swee wah. But thanks to him! Before we even start the game, he said he had a feeling we would lose. And thanks thanks! We did. So I left him battling alone. Was kind of worried that he wasn't comfortable at my house. But turn out otherwise. He had so much fun, that I left him there to go to bed. Luckily he knew Jerm and my sisters.

So yup... that was my new year. I slept at 5 in the morning and woke up at 8.30 am!! It was a sunday had to head to church before the visiting starts! =)

Headed to uncle's place for lunch and saw my baby niece!! Oh my!! She's so cute!! And so FAT! haha... but it's ok. And I fed her... boy she's so heavy that my arms was getting numb... and it was quite a big bottle of milk. My uncle said I'm qualified to be a mother already. Passed the test! ;)

But seriously, I'm not sure if i'm up to it when I really have one. It's different.

Headed to my grandma's after that... stayed there till I met my mother's side uncles,aunts and cousins to catch a movie. "Follow the law" was what we watched. Funny. Very typical Jack neo's movie, very Singaporean.

Finished the show at 11 plus. And that's it. I could not take it any longer already. With the work and amount of sleep for the past few weeks. I was really getting giddy already. So my uncle drove me home while the rest of them headed to Marina to walk and spent their time at starbucks.

I came home,bathed and just fell asleep on my bed.

And for yesterday. Nothing much. Cause I just stayed home to sleep and rest.

Nothing interesting.

Okies.. I just woke up 2 hours ago... now I'm sleepy so I'm gonna take a short nap. =)

And ya... Will photo blog in a couple of days time!

It's been a long and torturous week. Work was like fighting a battle. A race. A race against time that victory is seldom on the same side as human.

For 2 weeks. 2 freaking weeks! Out of 5 days, I would go home at 10+ for 4 days. I'm barely hanging on anymore. Mentally and physically, every single energy inside me is taken away. Sucked dry by ABN.

My health is giving way soon. And I know that. I get giddy and my gastric is acting up more often recently. I couldn't go to sleep until 3am last night, cause the pain was unbearable.

I'm barely hanging on anymore. Trying hard to brace myself up!