Finally manage to "steal" some time to update.

Heading to the gym just makes me feel so good but still I feel fat cause I'm eating. uh huh! Signs of anorexia. Yes yes... am watching out for that. Still munching chips down my throat but only a few pieces.

Anyways was on the bus the other day, heading somewhere when this just hit me.

Happiness. What is that? Each individual has our own definition of happiness. A simple 3 syllabus,9 letter word but it's worth is higher than that.

So what's the measure of yours? Or you've yet to think about it.

Slow down. Take a few secs to think. Soon you'll realise secs would turn to mins then hours. Now you're starting to think.

When I mention happiness here, I don't mean having "the man" of your life. Come on we're still young (if only my friends are reading). Life's a bitch, you never know a better man will come along one day. We are the new age women. Stronger and tougher.

But like I say each individual has different point of view to happiness. Maybe to some people having lots of branded goods is their happiness. Ain't trying to say that it's materialistic. Those are the results of hard work so pamper yourself!!

Gucci,Guess,LV.... blah blah... as the list goes on. They're never my kind of thing. Despite coming out to work for nearly a year plus. I still don't set my eyes on those. But I love bags. Cheap affordable bags that have different style and look.

Heading to the gym 3 times a week is an enjoyment for me. No matter how tired. The thought of putting on weight is just simply unacceptable. I've become paranoid I'm aware of that. Watching my diet and keeping fit.

Making the percussion band a success. Lots of performance,exposure. Excel at work. Hoping to change an environment. Studying part-time and working full-time which I simply can't wait. It sounds insane.

But this is my happiness. These are the things that satisfy me. That could keep me smiling.

Had dinner with my mum just now and she was so happy... And I realise I have not been spending time with her. I've been coming home late and barely get the chance to see her. She's happy but I'm sad. Cause she misses me yet I didn't realise it cause she never say it out. But it isn't difficult to see right. She everyday she would call me to ask what time I'm coming home.

"Don't be too late."

That's already a hint. But I was just to busy to even care... No heartless I would say.

So I came out with this plan. Every sat would be dinner with mummy. Bring her around for good food.

After reminders from Aud and Weiloong, I decided for a short entry! ",)

well it's always better then nothing. Ha...

Anyways life been rather the same. Same old roller coaster life. But wait. Not exactly the same. There are some changes to work. The lady helping me tendered! Thanks Thanks! Thought that we've finally found someone who will stay long. But now she's gonna be gone soon.

And I can't help asking myself.

"WHAT THE HELL AM I STILL DOING HERE?!"

Working my arse off! Having my dept head saying... "Do you know that our company is paying her very high?!"

Oh! So what I'm only a dip. holder! You have a problem with dip. holder having high pay! I'm so glad that I ain't working in yr used-to-be section. Where you even pay yr contract DEGREE holder PEANUTS! They're your staff! Not yr slaves!

But sadly you're soon gonna be my EX-boss! ",)

I'm getting sick of my job. But am worried. Quitting without a job is dangerous! There's a risk after 3 months, I'll be shaking legs at home, logging on the jobsDb, sending tons of resumes that when tat stupid someone calls you and asked if you did remember, think hard you'll still end up saying no!

And I've been overspending recently. So I guess I'll have to stick on to some time later.

That's the problem when you start doing online shopping and when you lose weight! You know you can just fit into it even without trying.

The fact that I'm happy that I've lost weight seems to backfire to all the adults in my life. My parents (esp. mum), my auntie Emily, my boss Lydia and some of my colleagues. I look way too skinny. That's what they commented.

Can you imagine my relatives used to call me "xiao pang" and few days back when i went back to my uncle's place for dinner. They all actually said I was skinny.

See it's difficult to satisfy all these adults. But so long as I'm happy.. It's cool. Heading to the gym every alternate days in I can. Still watching out my diet but sometimes I still give myself a little treat. After 3 mths of controlling,losing 10 kgs and now heading to the gym... I think I can still afford that little treat. Though I still feel guilty about eating. Yes I'm a little anorexia but still under control. It's all in the mind.

But I've to give away alot of my clothes but i'm happy to do so! Cause....

As the saying goes....

"If the old doesn't goes, there's no room for the new ones!"