I'm struggling hard to keep myself focus in my studies.

Exams are just one day away and I've hardly prepare anything much. What have I done the past few days?

I really don't know. concentration only comes in the night. And in the day it's just time for Jocelyn's lazy afternoon.

My life is better much like a roller coaster nowadays. I think I know where the problem is. But why is it so difficult. Why do I find it so restless or weak to stand against it.

I have time to reflect on my actions. But I chose to leave it at the back of my mind.

Am I just such a coward to admit? While on the outside stands a ego and strong me.

Nobody screwed up my life, except myself.

Work could have been fine, even though it's really shitty.

But it's just how you see it.

I need to get my life back in shape. Like how it used to be.

I pray for help, O God!

I finally found the reason of my unhappiness.

Not exactly found but re-confirm.

My work is the one.

It's my 2nd day of leave and I have not felt a single unhappiness in me. I'm enjoying every moment. And I realise that it's really time to leave this place. But not with the current situation. Just how long do I still have to wait.

The work is fine but some people are juts shitheads. Esp. if it's your boss.

And I just found out that one of my colleague didn't like the girl I always dislike.

I've always thought that I have a problem with her that's why everything she does. Just annoys me. But it turns out otherwise. Ai ling felt the same way too.

And after hiding so long and working with each other for quite awhile then we realise that there are alot of things that we think the same way. We have been hiding and complaining to out bf and husband. Now that we know we have each other, work seems happier.

Having her ard makes me happier at work. Coz least I know I can speak to someone about it.

I have about 8 more months to go before completing my studies. At this point of time, I need the money for my school fees. I don't pin much hope on them reimbursing me for my studies. After all studying and taking a degree is for my own benefit.

When it comes to a point that it reaches my limit. I'll definitely do what I've been wanting to do and ought to do for the past one year.

I've become such a unhappy person because of work. My boss doesn't really give my opportunities. Not sure why. Probably she's afraid.

But the day when I tender I'll give her the real reason for my resignation. And not telling her I've a better offer. No lies.

We're a family. That's what she told Ailing today. But are you sure you really see me as a family?

I've chosen to keep quiet at work and not give her much suggestion. Since she doesn't really use them.

She loves her "pet S" so much. They can go form a family then.

I think I better stop. Or else it'll bring the anger out from me again.

It's just 40 over days more to the end of 2008.

Bear with it! i believe I have higher tolerance level than this.

Time to study! Econs! Damn!