Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Tired and guilty...

What a tiring day today... Went to Ikea AGAIN!! Before band prac! Guess they can give me a regular customer award! Bought a bread bin, drawer mat, bottle and gloves...

Was late for band prac... We had sectional for the first half of band... So of coz we will take the opportunity to practice for the percussion ensemble!! We did 2 pieces... WholeTone Fantasy and Theme from New York,New York... These are the 2 cofirm pieces... During the break we will discussing about the proposal and we came with our Percussion ensemble concert name already!!!

Ladies and Gentlement!! We are proud to present to you DE AVAGANDA PERCUSSIANS 1!!! Haha... Sound cool right~! Definitely man!! hehe...

Ohya!! Surprisingly!! We've got full attendance today but CHRIS WAS NOT HERE!!! HAiz... ALMOST FULL! BECOZ OF HIM!! Was quite pissed during band prac coz of the orientation... Sometimes it's really irritating... It just gets on my nerves... Ok forget about it!

Went for supper with some percussionist... Nasir was there again... Again with his corrupted mind what else can he say... But he brought laughter after all...

My mum told me to buy BK for her... SO i did buy for her but i bought beef for her... She can't eat beef.. And the moment I knew I bought the wrong thing I feel so guilty!! I felt like crying! I feel so bad!! GOD!! And end up she didn't eat... Even though she said it's ok but I still feel guilty... There goes her super...

*yAwNz* I've got freshmen oritention tomorrow... Got to wake up at 6.45!!! It's like for decades that I wake up so early!! And I'll be going to west coast!! Haiz...

After that I'll be going out with the percussionist... Guess that will help me forget my tireness.. Guess I really enjoy their company... Life seems boring without them...

Off to sleep npw... Really sleepy!

Monday, June 28, 2004

My mind is in a blank...

Actually I have a topic to blog today but I just forgot... It slipped from my mind~! Must be busying packing the house... Too tired till my mind is blank now... Can't really remember what's my quote for the day... So I'll start with what I did today... Then take a bath, see if I can refresh my mind or not...

Well as usual Sunday... I went to church in the morning Then after that I went to Ikea alone... Got lots of stuff! And I was there alone to carry the things myself...

Finish bathing but still can't remember what is my quote for the day... Nvm forget it! I'm too tired to think of anything now... My eyes are heavy now... Seriously can't think of anything to blog... But got something to share with you guys... My friend send me this mail... Quite meaningful... I know it's long but hope you will read till the end...

-----------------------------------------------------
The "BUS" in our life *meaningful*

When the bus come, you look at it and
you says to yourself, "eeee... so full...cannot sit down
one"....... So you says to yourself, "I'll wait
for the next one." You let the bus go and
waited for the second bus.

Then the second bus came, you looked at it and
you says, "eeee.........this bus so old...surely
very uncomfortable one." So you let the bus go
and decided to wait for the next bus.

After a while, another bus came. It's not
crowded and not old but you said, "eeee... no
air-con one...and the weather is so warm, better
wait for the next one."
So AGAIN you let the bus
go and decided to wait for the next bus.

The sky starts to get dark.
It is
getting late.

You panicked and jumped on to the next oncoming
bus. It is not until much later that you found
out that you had boarded on to the wrong bus!
So, after many waits,
you wasted your time and money waiting for what
you want...

Even if an aircon bus came, can you ensure that
the aircon bus won't break down
or
will the
aircon be too cold for you?

So people...(mostly girls but guys too!) want to
make sure that what you want is not wrong. But
would it hurt to give other buses a chance?
If you found that the "bus" doesn't
suit u,
can't you just press the red button and get off
the bus?
think, think..

But wait...I am sure all of you have this
experience before.. You saw a bus coming (the
bus you want of course) you flagged it, and the
driver acted blur by pretending not seeing you
and zoomed pass you!

The bottom line of being loved is like waiting
for a bus and whether you want to get on the bus
and give the bus a chance
depends
totally on you
and walking alone is just like being out of love.

Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell. Don't be afraid to
express yourself.

Reach out and tell someone what they mean to
you.
Because when you decide that it is the
right time,
it might be too late.

Seize the day.

Never have regrets.

Love. Give lovE a chance when the oppurtunity comes.
and remember, there's the red button u can press.

It culd make a difference...

The difference between doing all that you can or
having regrets which may stay with you forever.

Friendship is never an accident. It is always
the result of high intentions, sincere effort,
intelligent direction and skillful execution. It
represents the wise choice of many alternatives.

And remember.... Keep Smiling....coz... "Of All
Things You Wear, Your Smile Is As love returns
to me, As I return to you, As love returns to
us."

I guess this is really wondeful and makes a lot
of sense.
For all those 'buses', gd Luck.
For all thoses commuters waiting at the bus stops....


Love, and be loved. Its ur choice. =)
-----------------------------------------------------

Friendship is never an accident. It is always
the result of high intentions, sincere effort,
intelligent direction and skillful execution. It
represents the wise choice of many alternatives.

I totally agree with this... Do you?

Try this out...
Face builder

K... Off to sleep! nitez....

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Restless eyes, deep and dark eye circles, pale face, lips that lost it's redness and a smile-less face... That's me now... Or rather today... I'm just like a walking zombie going around... As if the whole world has offended me... Been somehow forcing a smile on my face...

That's the results of too much late nights sleep!!! I've been sleeping late these nights but yesterday was the only night that I can't get to sleep!!! Lots of things running in my mind... But I don't know what coz my mind can't function systematically... All of the parts are working at the same time.... At one go, just like the whole band playing on the first beat...

I can really sleep anywhere man today... Once my eyes are shut, my soul seems to be leaving my body... ok scary!

Well I really need some sleep... ok not some lots of sleep... NOW!!! The earliest time I've slept so far...

Nitez...
Z's Are Calling (time For Bed)

Friday, June 25, 2004

"We need to talk"

Doesn't this line sounds familiar to everyone of us? At least all of us have been asked or have said this sentence once in your lifetime...

But for sure that when someone say this sentence, it's not gonna sound good... It's the four most horrible words in the English language! Imgaine your parents,gf/bf or friends asked you this questions.... How would you feel? Close your eyes and put your yourself in that situation...

AH................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ain't you shivering or having cold sweat now? Probably not that bad... I'm just trying to exaggerate... But these horrible words have two possible outcomes... It can be good or bad...

Actually, what I'm trying to say is that... Sometimes the most horrible words or sentence may not be that bad... I have said this sentence lots of time, but everytime it brings about good things... It improves my relationship with people...

I used these words for my msn nick... And my friend came to talk to me, he thought someone had made me sad... So sweet of him... Well, this sentence let me know that my friends are concern about me...

Kinda tired now... Don't know why didn't go anywhere except that I went to give tuition...

Okie off for Mahjong!! But before that BATH TIME!!
Shower

Bored! Bored!

It's just another boring night... Where my surrounding seems so quiet,dull and dim... Even though the room lights are on and the tv is on... But my heart feel so empty and feelings doesn't seems to filled me... Like a cold-blooded human except that i don't kill or do anything bad... But I seem to have a penny of thoughts... Running through my mind and it's like all entangled together... But nothing can help to fill that emptiness in my heart now... Or untangle the knots...

I'm like digging a hole to let myself fall in now... This hole is getting bigger whenever I try to climb out... But no matter how I hard I try, I just fall back and it gets worse each time... I can't possibly get someone to pull me and help me fill up that hole... And it hurts after each fall... OUCH!
Fall To Pieces Please put me together!

Looking through my friendster just now... Reading through my friend's testimonial... But why can't I see the point that the others see.... All the comments was something that I would not say about this friend... Seriously, I don't know why... I know this person for a few years but the longer I know this person... All the bad points outweigh the good points... And it gets worse after every meeting that I would try to avoid going out with this person unless needed... Wanted to leave a testimonial but can't... I don't feel like writing something against my heart... After the last outing, this person did ask me out but was not able to see the problem....

I may even come to a point that I hate this person and don't want to have a thing to do with this friend... It sounds scary that how a friend that I used to be so closed with is someone I dislike now... In the past, someone told me that this friend of mine is not a good person... I know that but I chose not to believe,I feel that since everybody is given the chance to change... This friend of mine is no exception... But I was wrong! Totally wrong!! How can a person who is self-centered and living in a world of their own, who never wants to compromise others but want others to compromise them, who will never change for the better, to be someone caring,sweet,understanding and whatever.... How!!! ALRIGHT! I ADMIT THAT I'M BITCHING ABOUT SOMEONE HERE! SOMEONE WHO I KNEW FOR A LONG TIME~! But I just can't tell the truth to this friend... With the character and attitude this person has... No way... So the only solution is to have lesser contact with this person...

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Felt Better today....

Felt better when I woke up this morning... But I was happier when I saw what Venassa has tag on my tagboard... A sudden warmth just filled my heart at that moment...

Probably God gave me the talent to organise events just like He gave the others a talent of their own... And I'm going to bring this talent with me till the day I return home to where I belong... To be with the big guy up there... Giving me the chance to see the smiles on the others faces and knowing that "Hey, Life isn't just that bad!".... And probably a chance to see the results of my own work!

But God gave me something that I will never regret... And that is the chance to know this group of wonderful,adorable,caring,understanding... Man! What else can I say... Even if i used up all the good words in the dictionary... Guess it's not enough... Ok I used the word "guess"... Whatever it is... I'm glad to have this group of seniors and friends being around for me...

Seriuosly when Alan has become the SL, I discover a side of him which I never see... Besides the leadership... A very understanding and caring side.... Ok one simple word would describe him... Sweet Alan!!

When I made lots of discoveries yesterday... Nasir... VENASSA getting more screwed in the brain... And the two freshies quite funny....

Hey guys! Thanx for being there! And I love you guys...

Upset? Happy? I don't know which one....

Kind of upset today...Need A Hug Actually there are a few issues that cause it...

First thing... Before band i'm supposed to have dinner with my sister, but i have this feeling that she doesn't want to have dinner with me instead she wants to go out with her friends... So ended up eating at home... Maybe i'm just too sensitive but it really upset me...

Secong thing... I thought when I go to band it would be better... But nevertheless I didn't feel better... And I didn't even feel like going home at all... I wanted to go somewhere... Maybe it was God's plan... Venassa wanted to have ice-cream and I told her that I didn't want to go home... She suggested to have ice-cream... We asked the rest of the section... Alan was ok with it... As usual Chris was not there... But I got even more upset when I asked Muru and He gave me the attitude that he is going but unwillingly... I was so upset... It just makes me feel that persuading people to go has make people sick of me... Annoyed by me... Couldn't help it but cry and at that moment I don't want to be in-charge of organising anymore outing... But actually deep in my heart I know I want to do it... Coz I like to see the smile on people faces whenever they come for the outing I organise... It gives me the sense of satisfaction... But I know he's tired after work and I feel so bad that I make him feel bad...

Third thing... The change of dates for the F.O camp... It has brought about lots of inconvience... Like the Batam trip... It has too be cancelled!! Side-track abit... I'm actually quite surprised with something... My section mates can actually see that i'm quite upset about not able to go Batam... ok back to topic... Ya I was looking forward to this trip so much... To be able to spend time with a group of people which I think that not knowing them would be my greatest regrets... Then there goes my bubbles of hope... But the good thing is that we can have it here in Singapore whereby everybody can make it... I hope so!! I was supposed to be the back-up singer for church service this sunday... But now got to change again... Haiz... My changes got to bring so much trouble to others...

Had supper with alan,muru,weeliang,weehong,nasir,jermaine and venassa... Well, it cheer me up... I really meant it... Had a good laugh... And I've seen a side of nasir whereby I didn't know... Never! Goodness! Never thought he was like that... Guess everybody had a big shock! And We were bitch-ing about people... hehe... But whatever it is... They cheer me up... And the food cheer me up too... Whenever I feel tired,down or angry, eating would cheer me up... which is quite bad la huh... Had burger king just now... Sinful!!!!
Burger Joint

Organising another outing for percussion... We are going to KTV!!! Hope everybody will go and enjoy till the fullest before school starts!!!

Off to watch tv... CARTOON!!! TOTALLY SPIES!!! hehe...

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Idling away...

Woke up at about 3... Well, I didn't go anywhere or do anything today... Just slack at home... Supposed to go teach but cancel it... Coz I'm too lazy to go... Been watching tv the whole day... Power man!!! Lots of Cartoons!! Hehe...

And I did quite abit of thinking... After the talk with them on Sunday... I think I should not tell them what I wanted to say for a long time... Guess that's the best choice... And keep it to myself....

My com is giving me lots of problems... Guess I can't write much... Or else I have to take quite awhile and restart my com again and again... Haiz...

Okie off to watch tv!! Nitez... Cheers!Goofy

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Sick of band?

Guess what! It's my 3rd time trying to write this entry coz of my stupid com... which just restart on it's own for no reason... Making me forget what i want to say... I hope i can successfully finish up this entry...

Recently, I feel like running away from band... I don't know why... Band has always been something I would look forward to after school if there was band prac... Qutting band would be the last thing in my mind... But nowadays, quittng band or getting away from band would be the first thing in my mind... Probably it's the politics... They say it's unavoidable but i feel that it's avoidable...

Think problems are somehow emerging in our section... Problems that emerge and disappear once in a while... Like Charlton... i can't get along with him and he's always getting on my nerves... And sometimes our members can't make it for band prac which somehow brings abit of inconvience... And Jia Hui feels that percussion is very away from the main band.... And so on...

Yesterday was the band bbq, well it didn't turn out bad! Only some of our members went... Jermaine,Muru,Bernard and me left at about 11 plus... But we didn't go home immediately... We spent our time outside marine parade 7-11... We had a long talk and a honest one too... guess it has never been so honest before...

Bernard was feeling tipsy... We were talking about serious matter and he was there smiling and laughing like a lunatic... But i guess it was a good thing after all... Because of him the questions that was within us for a long time was solved... We became dead serious... Even though the truth was hurtful but at least everything has come to light... There is no need to guess... No one needs to make anymore guesses... We wanted to leave early but Bernard didn't want to... He said he hated the taxi and didn't want to leave... But it add some laughter to this serious talk...

Band prac was not that bad today, at least i didn't have that feeling to go home immediately...

I should stop here now... Actually it is already my 6-7 times before i can finish writing this last sentence... Think i really need to get my com repair... Bt hope it would be alright tml... Cheers!Goofy

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Liven up again!

Finally start my blog again... Took quite a while to figure out things! Woh... Well I'm too lazy to write so here I am again... But not going to write much coz I'm too tired now... Just feel like laying on the bed and wait for the sky to brighten up... If I can't get to sleep... Anyway Thumbs Up!