Monday, February 28, 2005

came across this article... "Tap those feelings"... Rather good... It goes like that...

Right. We know from science classes that our bodies are 70 per cent liquid, but our emotions seem equally fluid.

Phrases that are used to refer to the states of water are commonly used to describe the state of the heart too.

For instance, a loved one can ooze charm one minute, and make your blood boil the next.

A betrayed friend can fume when he is wronged, lashing out at you as hot rage flows through him.

On the other hand, when you win a football game, elation can course through your veins. Indeed, victory is sweet, and those who experience it can drink in their success.

When you get top marks for a test, relief and pride can flood your heart. But when the chips are down and an "F" is announced, sadness can well up at the sight of failure.

Best friends tend to pour out their feelings to each other, confiding their secrets. In fact, misery loves company, so there's no need to drown in sorrow, or wallow in it alone.

Thankfully, bad times don't last. The next big event you plan with your friend can stir up excitement, and that can bubble up to the surface as the day draws closer.

A reliable friend is someone you can count on. Sometimes his presence and presents can make your heart overflow with gratitude.

When your friend does well, it is as if his joy is yours too, and you might feel your heart swell with pride when he wins a national award for an excellent essay.

The thought of being away from good friends and missing them could even fill you with horror.
:)

Saturday, February 26, 2005

just a sentence to share...

We can't live without skin... BUT! with skin life is complicated!

How true it is... it's for you to decide...

check this out too...

http://www.cartoline.it/pics/_zoom_flash.htm?immagine=scherzi_150404_01

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Once upon a time, there live a girl





































































































































And the story ends here....

It's my life now...

If you can understand you can if you can't then you can't...

Saturday, February 19, 2005

If you are still burying yourself in some problems today and brooding over it... DAMN!! GET OUT FROM IT NOW AT THIS INSTANT AND CARRYING ON WITH LIFE!! Coz Life goes on...

It has been a tough week for me but I've pulled through... Finally straighten things out... I've been thinking too much and creating a problem or problems that doesn't exist! Thinking back I think I'm so dumb!! It's so dumb... Why did I ever do that... And end up with 3 sleepless nights... Man! 3 days!! Without sleep! I wonder how I did that... GESH!

I don't know why the sudden enlightenment.... I just know I feel good now... After all how long can we be upset for... It's tiring... Of coz my friends were there to help me to pull through... Fortuntately there was MA to keep me busying with... and band that stop me from thinking...

Oh yeah... Talking about band... Hmm... I've been dragging myself to band... It's been like that since... can't remember when... But I just feel so tired.... Wanna take a break... Feel so tired.... Band should be something I look forward to... but don't know why... But I'm always looking forward to sectionals... Coz can get to do marching season!! Love that piece!! can't get it off my head...

ok for today... I woke up late!! lesson was at 9 and i woke up at 8:52 when meimei msg me.. haha... And it's weird... my phone was on my left the previous night but this morning it was on my right... Probably when the alarm went off I just switch it off and went back... But serious I couldn't even remember doing that... Who cares!! Too tired already...

Rather long day today... I'm exhausted... Very... After lesson had band... whoa... Was watching basetball match... WAH!! NUS is GOOD MAN!! Not just that... The guys are pretty good-looking too!! haha... opps! :P

OH! OH!!! The coach is cute too!! haha...

Okie off to sleep already...

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Finished my MA individual report already.... Well, went to school to finish it coz my com have got no excel and words... etc... so had to go to school... stayed at the biz library till about 3+...

Didn't go for FF and Fmkt today...These few days have been tough for me... Since Sunday... Feeling so heavy hearted... it was like fighting a war with my emotions.. I've not really slept for 3 nights... I hated to sleep, I hate to lie on the bed with many thoughts running through my mind... With tears filling in my eyes... Waking up suddenly when I manage to get some sleep... And those things just flash through my mind...

Starting MA was a tough job for me... i couldn't concentrate... My mind was simply in a whirl... But manage to get started with the help of Cia... telling me what to do... Helping me to survive through this time... Burying myself in work was the only time that I didn't think of anything... and when we had band... I couldn't even have a single second to let any other thoughts come to my mind... except for the rythmns and getting it right...

Those words just keep coming back to me... It's so scary... I don't know what to do... probably the best is to leave it as it is... probably when I don't talk about it... the problem won't emerge... I know it's not the best solution but that's the least I can do... Coz I really don't know what to do... I couldn't even keep eye contact with them... I'm really scared... Starting a conversation might be tough in future... And now I know clearly where I stand...

well... for the rest of the week I don't know what will happen... I don't know if tears is going to roll down my cheeks or not... probably it has already dry up ater 3 days...But I'm glad I have good friends... that support me and giving me encouragement... Jerm have been always there to listen to what I say, giving me encouragement... Hope I didn't give u a shock that night... Cia helping out in my MA and of coz those things that you said... and meimei too... thanx alot peeps!

For the moment projects and preparing for the coming tests...

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Tired... Drained... But trying to keep the smile and laughter going... and the only time is in band with the percussion...

It's scary how things turn out to be.... Within a day... But it's like a lifetime that is flashing right in front of my eyes...

Humans are fake... That's why we get along sometimes... Even my smile and laughter are becoming fake...

A simple sentence that ends my day...

Sunday, February 13, 2005

I'm so glad... I cried out... been surpressing it for a few days... didn't know how to release it out... shouting no use... nothing could help...

But now I'm feeling better... I just couldn't stop... Tot I was ok then went to brush my teeth... but when Lina spoke to me... I broke down again... this time worse...

Then my mum came in... Manage to stop... Seeing her just makes me laugh.... she still can crack a joke with me... "what happen to you?! your air-con not cold that's why u cry ar?!"

Haha... how can I possibly be sad after hearing this lame joke... :)

Well just half an hour more to Valentine's day... It means half an hour more to cry and put a full stop to today... :)

BE STRONG! COZ LIFE GOES ON!! Familiar huh, Jerm?!

Thanx meimei, ShunLi and Cia for the encouragement.... I'm ok... And I'm quite sure Shunli...
hmm.... tml is Valentine's day!!! So my dear friends!! How are you guys gonna spend your day? Studying for test? sleeping at home? Watching tv?

OK nvm about tml... what are you guys thinking of now?

Thinking hard how to ask the person you like out for a date... peeps! Do it! Have faith!!

If you don't have a date, it's ok!! Don't be sad! Keep smiling! Valentine's day doesn't means you have to spend with yr gf or bf... It means spending time with your loved ones... and yes! It doesn't only include yr gf or bf... It can be your family, friends, or someone that you have neglected... Watching tv, sleeping or studying for a test... it's ok... better than spending big bucks... :)

well... talking about test... kind of worried... Might not be going to school tml... Not sure yet, told my mum I'm not going... Will see how tml... I'm kind of tired... though I have a long nap just now...

Worried for MA project... need to submit this coming week... I have not started coz I don't know how to do... And I have tests coming up soon... Many projects!! MAN! I really don't have the motivation, determination and mood to do all these now... I hate tests and projects... But would rather do projects... I don't know... i always feel so stress up during exams...

well one at a time... just finished my dinner... feeling so sleepy...

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Ok was pissed just now... Calm down already... tired... A day that is somehow good and bad... And kind of disappointed with my sister...

I guess most of the time is the people that are closed to you and matter to you most disappoint you...

Ok well I cleared the misunderstanding and I'm glad I did... Like what Ven said Sisters are out to make love, not war! just some miscommunication... I'm back to normal now... After blasting some music and not talking for about an hour I guess... Coz I know I'm just gonna shout at people if I did open my mouth to talk... And I don't want that to happen... So yeah! I'm cool now... I'm smiling already...

Thanx Ven and Zai! For offering help to calm me down... Sorry for the harsh words that I have used just now... U know... F*^K... Oh yeah... And Hanyong... Thanx for asking whether I'm ok or not... :)

Well let's see what I did today...

Went for tuition in the morning... Nini's sister is so DAMN CUTE!! I was carrying her and she kept smiling to me... acting very shy.. but she had her whole load of saliva on my arm... but well she's still cute!! MAN!! BABIES!!

Anyway, Nini's mum gave me a $50 hong bao... Thanx thanx!! Hmm... guess in total i got about 300+ I guess... Hehe...

AND YES SHIT!! I've spend too much this week!! DIE DIE!!! I spend so much money...

Went out with meimei... met her at Outram... went to Pearl Ctr to trade-in my phone... YEAH!! I bought my new phone!! Nokia 6670!! YEAH!! haha... the uselss phone is gone! But my pictures inside are gone too... haiz... couldn't find the cable to download into my com this morning... so just have to let go... when it's time to let go it's time... I'm so glad that I check with almost all the shops there... as I go to the shops behind they offer better price... But well got the phone for $268.... quite a reasonable price I tot... :D MEIMEI! Thanx for accompanying me to go there... Thanx! Thanx!

SHIT!! I spend about 200 bucks on tuesday... and today!! I bought a pair of striking green slippers at $5 and I bought a heels for $31.90 from VNC and a watch for $8... shit!! I bought too many pair of shoes, slippers and slip in!! DIE! And watches too... Meimei bought the same pair of slippers too... And she bought a pair of slip in from VNC too, for $13.90... It's pastel yellow colour... Looks good on her!

Not a good idea for a one week break huh... Glad that it's is starting next week... It means I have no time to shop... GD! At least I won't spend much... I hope so!!

After Far east we headed to Harbourfront... Coz wanted to get handphone pouch but couldn't find anything nice at Far east... Managed to get the handphone pouch and some handphone accessories.... Then went to Sakae for dinner... then headed home...

OK talking about that... I think my student, Nini.. is freaking mature! She knew who I like... yeah! I totally forgot till she asked me... it was like kind of wrong to tell her... She kept teasing me... But she said things that really surprised me... She said don't just stick to one guy... look around and try to know more people... i might find someone better... Shocked?! she's only 12... But hearing it from her it's like wah!! she make it sound so simple and somehow somewhere it just knock some sense into me... A 12 year old girl telling me that... I've lots more to learn when I'm handling with this area...

Anyway tat's it for a day...
My mind is tired... Not able to think... can't concentrate... my eyes are closing soon... But I'm trying hard to keep it open... funny huh?! I don't know why too... I've been in a daze the whole day...

Not been doing things right... Dropping every single thing that I'm holding on my hand... almost broke a bowl just now... spilled water on the table and floor when i was refilling my bottle... what else I dont know... Just too many times...

But thanx to Mr CUCKOO!! and his lame joke... As you guys can see the messages he tag... Anyway thanx pal!! It kept me smiling...

Tml is sat... What am I to do?

I've got tuition in the morning at 11 a.m.... Then after that is either I call meimei out or not... Have yet to msg her... Coz I can't decide myself...

I need time out alone... I need to be alone... Tat's how I'm feeling now... Probably it would be gone tml...

Friday, February 11, 2005

ok how was my day? if you were to ask... well I'm kind of tired... I was like in dreamland when I was out...

Didn't know whether to go Chinatown to check the price of my phone... But when the train was at Outram I didn't feel like getting down so sat all the way to Tiong Bahru...

Went to Watsons to get some stuff... And cheese hotdogs for my mum... Bank in money... GREAT! I have money in my bank now... When I meant "great"... It ain't filled with happiness or greatness... It's just the word "great" that has no emotions... well... that's what words are when it is itself... It's us that put in the feelings...

My face is getting better... At least my 90 bucks is not wasted... *phew*

Feeling kind of shitty... But better now after eating somethings... snacks as usual... no proper dinner... or lunch...

and I have a BLOODY BIG BLISTER! DAMN!! Super painful!! I'm feeling hungry but I don't know what to eat... Again I don't know what I want...

Was talking to my aunt just now, Nei. She said somethings to me... that left me feeling so.... shit?

But I think she's kind of right... She pointed out things that is nothing to me... Which I didn't realise myself too... It just left me so heavy hearted... In fact through out the train ride half of my mind was thinking about that issue...

Well just another person who is outside of the situation telling me things that I can't see myself... But still I'll follow my heart...

Thursday, February 10, 2005

It's the second day of chinese new year... yeah... Guess I'm gonna rot at home... Not too sure either...

Anway had macdonald's for breakfast... Hotcakes!! Yummy!! A long long time...

Didn't count how much I collected... Kind of sian... Ok till here I suddenly forgot what I wanna blog... GESH!! What do I wanna blog...

Ok just let me say what I'm thinking at the moment... Getting a new phone... Oh! I feel like shitting... haha... My mind seems to be kind of blog... It's stuck at that moment... The moment that leaves me thinking and thinking...

Suddenly thought of Edwin... haha... I'm so proud of myself! "What counts is that the moment I saw you, you melt my heart. Whether my next day would be bored or not it doesn't matter, coz having you in my mind every min brings no boredom into my life!" haha... *PROUD* haha... Can't believe I could actually thought of this... Edwin you owe me one don't ya?! haha... just kidding... Btw did she reply?

And trust me!! You won't regret! *Crossing my fingers* hehe... no la kidding...

hahahahahaha.... lalalallalala..... lalalalalala.... hehehehe.hehe...... lalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalallalalalala....yeahyeah yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah....... hohohohohhohohohohoohohohohohohohohohohoohho.......hahaahahahahahaha.......

Ok guys I'm bored... bye! Off to shit! :P

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Happy Chinese New Year peeps!!! Did you guys manage to get lots of clothes?! spend lots of money?! haha.... Well for me it's not bad... Quite good I guess... haven count yet... Went to my uncle's home in the morning... then to my grandma's home... stayed there for awhile only coz was not feeling well... having a tummyache... shit rite! on this day... reach home at about 5... Gonna rest... night's programme don't know yet... anyway just updates!!

Mon (7/2)
Did some packing... spring cleaning... then went for band in the evening... manage to surprise JERM!! haha... I didn't forget your birthday girl! HOW CAN I??!! I did that on purpose! And I'm so glad you feel SAD!! It shows how important I am to you... haha... Ok! sorry about that! Hope you like that simple celebration we had for you... And sorry... make the whole section don't wish you happy birthday... :P

After band went home... can't remember what I did after that... oh yeah... I can buy new phone soon!! haha... my mum gave me 300 bucks to buy phone... 100 bucks for me to spend... another 100 bucks for my facial products!! haha... :P

Tues (8/2)
New year eve!! A wonderful new year eve I can say... haha... Woke up at about 10+... then did some packing before meeting Jerm...

Met Jerm at 11.30... MAN!! WE had a great time shopping!! It was really a shopping spree!!! SHIOK MAN!! It's been a long time for me and her... a long time that we spend the time together to shop... as we are both very busy... and someone's attached huh!! haha... joking!! SERIOUSLY!! But hey! I realy envy you... serious! Glad you found someone...

Anyway.. I bought a set of facial product that cost 90 bucks... then 2 pair of slip in for $16... 2 necklaces, 2 bracelet and a ring for 52 bucks... yes wonder how people spend 50 over dollars just on accessories?! Let's go shopping with me and you'll know! hehe... then 2 tops... one from "Samuel and Kevin" $11.20 and one from "U2" $13... and a bottom for $23.90...

Really feel damn shiok sia!! it's been a long long time... Glad that I spend that money... haha...

feel satisfied headed home for reunion dinner....had steamboat... as usual... except something different... we had guests at our home... Justin and his dad came to join us... Justin is my cousin's friend from perth... Not too bad... Then contiune packing my clothes after dinner...

After packing met up with Hanyong to watch "Flight of the Phoenix... Not a bad show... though all the while they were in the desert... feel thirsty for them man... headed to Chinatown after the show... Saw fire works!! haha... super crowded at Chinatown... Don't even have to walk... you just get pushed around... Bought sweets for my mum then we headed to clarke quay...

Reached home about 2+... washed up packed then went into my dream land....

Sunday, February 06, 2005

AHH!!! My acne is back I guess... So troubled by it.... DAMN TROUBLED!!

It recover after I have seen a doctor... But I don't wanna see the doc again... waste money...

How does acne develope? Acne is caused by overactive oil glands (sebaceous glands), stimulated by the hormone androgen, mixing with dead skin cells, which leads to plugged pores and outbreaks. This is particularly true during the teenage years when androgen production is at its highest.

Acne begins in the hair follicles. Sebaceous glands, which are attached to the hair follicle just below the skin's surface, produce an oil called sebum. Normally, sebum empties onto the skin's surface to lubricate the skin. But when cells that are shed from the follicle lining stick together, they form plugs that prevent the sebum from exiting the pore. This is especially common during adolescence, when cells from the follicle lining shed more rapidly. Rising hormone levels during puberty cause the sebaceous glands to get bigger and produce more oil. The mixture of oil and cells helps bacteria to grow, eventually breaking the walls of the follicles. That's when sebum, bacteria and shed skin cells collect under the skin, causing inflammation, pain, redness and pus, causing acne.

Ok I'm just being over upset about the acne on my face... So sian... feel like buying this product... "Proactiv"... seems good...

nvm... forget it... Just use what I'm using now... if it's not helping then I'll use that... get money from my mum... anyway she will be more then willing to pay coz it's my face... haha...

ok i finish cleaning the kitchen... kind of tired...

Saturday, February 05, 2005

YEAH!! It's back! It's back to normal again!!! haha... My com is working again!! Yes finally!! All thanx to my cousin!! And of coz Malina's cd... Thanx for all the help peeps!!

Now I can't blog without being worried that my com will just auto-restart itself!! haha...

Well, yesterday was MA presentation... well he said that... our class has high B's and low C's... and there was a "D"... Kind of worried... very... But well... it's over... What's done cannot be undone...

Submitted my CRM individual project yesterday... yeah! After that my com "recover"... Haiz... Have to go to Jerm house to do my project... Feel so bad to disturb her... But thanx pal!! thanx thanx!!

Well it's a good thing that I submit early... It means I can slack during the weekend... and not rush my project... And Monday there's no school... Kind of troublesome to go back to school... So here I am... Slacking at home on a weekend... Or rather spring cleaning... yes! No one is at home... so I'm doing the spring cleaning... Sorry Ven! Had to do spring cleaning... Can't meet up with you... Hope you enjoy!!

Wanted to skip MA lecture and UCCD tutorial... But for that moment yesterday... I really didn't know what I want... I keep saying that I don't know what I want in my life!! For the moment! haha... BUt well end up mei n I went for both... but luckily we went... Coz we only can afford to skip once... So I skipped once already... *phew*...

Skipped UCCD and headed down to town... Wanted to go Far east... BUt end up went to Cafe Cartle to eat... Met up with Edwin and Hanyong... Saw Shun Li on the way so drag her there with us... haha... Was super tired... Not been sleeping well the past few days... But mei has Jap class at 6.30... so decided to walk to PS with her... Just treat it as an exercise after a meal... On the way both of us were quite quiet... Guess we were tired... Reached home... took a rest before going to give tuition...

Met up with Swee Wah... he passed me something... then we had a chat downstairs my house... from 9+ to 11+... Well, realised that I haven been catching with him... At my student's house I read an article that says how to survive on Valentine's Day... And there was this part which says... spend with someone that you feel you have neglected all this while... haha... he's was the first person I thought of... Feel so sorry towards him!! Sorry pal!! Can't meet up with you... I know you know the reason... I'm really busy... Even if I promise to meet up with him, last minute it might be cancelled.... hmm... think need to do some reflection...

So I asked him out on Valentine's Day... but he rejected... haha... He said if I really have nothing on then asked him... or else last minute cancel again... haha... give him too much hope... And I demanded a bouquet of flowers from him... haha... Just joking!! It's extremely expensive on that day...

Just had my dinner... And going to start spring cleaning... Gonna be a superwoman!! My parents are out! Sisters out too... YUP!! DOING IT ALONE!! HAIZ...

Went to bought new cups... cups are getting too old!! ok shall start with the kitchen... Must get it done before chinese new year!!

Friday, February 04, 2005

It's 1.30 AM now!! yes!! And I'm not at home... I'm at Jerm's house doing my CRM project... Well, I'm kind of done already... Just need to go school to print and bind it... The submission date is next monday... But it's my term break next week!! I don't wanna go back to school in the morning!! So think I'll submit tomorrow... That's why I'm mugging here...

I'm so tired... Still got MA presentation tomorrow morning... AT 9!!! Hope everything goes well... Hope Ambrose won't shoot us with difficult questions!! Pray hard!!

Well... lots of thoughts running through my mind now... But don't know what is it... I'm just too tired...

Ohya... went shopping with meimei today... a rather short one... I bought 2 new watches again! then a necklace... some daily products... moisturiser... wet tissues... and a facial massager... yup that's all...

ok people I don't know I'm talking... Need to rest... Mind's off!! Nitez peeps!