SICK!

I am so sick!!! I'm having a terrible flu now... Feel like cutting my nose down... It's so itchy and I have to breathe through my mouth! Do you know how dirty is that!! All the dirt just goes into your body... At least I still have nose hair in my nose to help filter those things but not my mouth!! hehe... I know is abit disgusting to talk about this... But it's true!

Having Itab lesson now... But I'm so motivated... haha... :P Had a short but wonderful bus journey...

I think I blew some mucus plus abit of blood out... just a tiny bit... no worries!!

Oh I was very happy this morning... I recieved a call that make my day... Mrs Yeo,my CRS(critical reasoning skill) lecturer, is going for my MD concert... And she's buying 2 tickets from me... The $21 one... I'm so happy!! But so far I have only sell 11 tickets... Not good!

I persuaded kenneth to go for the concert just now.... But mission failed! haiz... Now I'm waiting for Wuwu to confirm with me... He's helping me ask around... hehe... so sweet of him... but wonder will he go or not?

Bad day! Bad day!

Today is my cousin's wedding... The wedding was held at Raffles Hotel... Nice place man! We had buffett... Super nice.... I ate lots of chocolates!! We had a fun time with the groom and his brothers... They were really sabo... Poor Barrie, my cousin-in-law, had to go through four stages before he can see his bride...

The first stage: The sister gang demanded $9,999... Of coz the brother gang didn't give... The first red packet they gave was only $20... So big difference... Can't remember the second time how much they give... But he was not to be let in yet coz it's not enough... Then he was asked to sing yue liang dai biao wo de xin outside the gate on his kness... Then he gave the third red packet... tehn was let in to the house...

The second stage: The brothers was ask to each go under a stick with the support of their waist... Can't remember what's that called.... That was a easy stage i think...

The third stage: it was the staircase... He had to say something mushy to my cousin in 7 different dialects... and he can't used back the same sentence... He used English,Chinese,Malay,Cantonese,Hokkien,Teochew and German... Lucky he had a group of brothers who are willing to help him... I remember one sentence he said, it was in english... He said, "Le peng! I maybe the sky but you are the stars that brighten me up!" So sweet!!!

The last stage: He had to knee outside my cousin's room door to say something before my cousin let him in... Well, it was easy! I guess... Finally, after 4 stages of struggle, he got his lovely wife...

Rather emotional day today... During the tea ceremony... few of my aunties cried... Tears was in my eyes too... But I hold it back...

Well... Even though it's a happy day... The day didn't start well at all... In the morning, I almost fainted in the market.... totally black out... then felt better after vomitting... Then after about 1 hr later... I started to feel feverish... What a day! Totally bad man!

Think the fever is back... ate too much chocolate... gonna sleep... nite guys!

I Passed!

I re-do the quiz again... This time I passed... I've got 60/100... not too bad... The weightage is 5%....

I was late for Itab lessons as usual(Nat added this)... But it's true anyway... But I think Mrs Hor is quite pissed off with me... She used a very unfriendly tone to speak to me... Anyway... Can't really be bothered! Hehe... Did my microsoft access quiz.... I've got 35/100!!! Haha... I'm so proud! Nah... not really...

Think there's something wrong with the system, then she say i might have to redo... Then when she ask for my marks, she let me redo... Think it would not make any difference... well, just re-do...

I'm super hungry now... Gonna rush home after this lesson... To do manicure then go to the hotel...

Cooled down....

Just finished bathing... I feel so good... Totally cool down already... Not that pissed anymore... Wanted to practice but don't think I can anymore... Too tired...

I think I can have a new nick name soon... Called the cramp queen... I just keep getting cramps... I got cramp on my toes like 3,4 times... Just winthin a few hours just now... Before, we moved the instuments to the conventional hall... I got cramp and I can't moved... I think it muz the heels... Hate wearing heels man!! It always make my legs so tired and painful!! It's so bad for my legs...

But all Thanx to Bernard... he changed my heels with his shoes... We changed our shoes when we were going to Clementi... So he was wearing my shoes for about 1hr plus... And surprisingly, he can walk with my heels... He could balanced, when Venassa can't even balanced properly... Wow... he's really cool... Haha... Can't believe it... He find that it's comfortable... Crazy man!

Alright! My cousin's chinese wedding is starting about 18 hours time... So happy! But I think I'll be quite busy... Got to do lots of things... So excited!! Haha....

But gonna missed band prac tml!! Haiz... And sectinals on friday and saturday... Better put in more effort!! Concert is coming...

HAHAHA.... The performance is over!! Over for good! I pratically missed the front part coz I lsot count! Basically, all of us smoke our way through the front part... But overall it's ok la... There wasn't much audience too... The front few rows were empty....

I finished lessons at 10.45... So intended to go to the band room to self prac... Lj told the rest to come at 1pm but all of them will late... I was super pissed and Lj sort of gave me the authority to scold them including my seniors!! Haha... So shiok! And they say I'm firece... hehe... I've always been!!

After the peformance, we went for dinner at Clementi... Didn't talk much to the guys coz I'm too tired.. Well nobody talk about the performance, I guess it's becoz we didn't really bother... even though we know it's bad.... But I think all of us are good at acting... No wonder they say percussionist are good actors and actresses... That's what I learn when I join Sp band... Even though you are wrong just pretend that nothing happens... It's quite hard for me... But I always gets used to it when it comes to concert...

I'm so pissed now... K! I'm just pissed.... I don't know what to say... Better stop doing everything and go take a bath... before every bad things come out from my mouth!! It not good.... I hate those words!!

Countdown to MD:

12 days

Message of the day:

Sometimes when someone is sad or pissed... All he/she wants is just a listening ear... Advise may not be neccessary... A listening ear is what they really want...

I took a bus today!! haha.... So happy! I know I sound as if I have never take a bus before.... But it's something rare ever since school reopen... Cheers!

Ohya... I got back my spss results... Didn't really do well... I've got 78%... I think I've got some careless mistakes... haiz... Just 2 marks I'll get an A... What a missed!

What a long day!! Had lessons from 10-5, then went to band room to self prac... then band prac start at 6.30pm... Hm... talking about band pretty good today!! We had a run through of the reportoire... not too bad except for being lost half way and missing some notes.... Cowbells part not too bad... can be better...

Sorry guys... You will find me talking about band more often nowadays coz concert is coming soon... So we are having more prac... Well, tomorrow is the ICF performance but we don't seems to be ready at all... I have yet to get my parts rigth and done...

Lucky tml school ends at 11, that gives me a few hours to practice before going on stage... Hope it goes well tml...

Well left band early coz I've got to rush for tuition... I was so tired, plus my period is here... Can't be more tired... Can't really focus just now when i was teaching.... The worse thing is that she's not focus too... I had to repeat myself so many times... Quite pissed off...

I'm so sleepy now but I want to watch my show!! It's starting at 1.30am.... Quick! why the hell did the SCV people re-arrange the timing of the programme!!! I'm starting school at 9!! Hope I will not be late...

Ya! My cousin's chinese wedding dinner is thursday... That's tml!! I'm so excited!! Haha... Can't wait!!

Okie that's all today... Off to slack around!! And pack my stuff....

Countdown To MD:

12 days

Message of the day:

Tomorrow can be too late....

If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it .

Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend . And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late .



If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know... tell her/him.

Maybe today, that person is also in love with you .

And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .



If you really want to kiss somebody... kiss her/him.

Maybe that person wants a kiss from you, too . And if you don't kiss her/him today, tomorrow can be too late .



If you still love a person that you think has forgetten you... tell her/him.

Maybe that person have always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.



If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.

Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.



If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them.

Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.


If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it .

Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today , then tomorrow can be too late

The real me...

Not a bad day today... Band was great but abit tired and he kept on stopping now stopping... abit pissed off!! But besides that all was well...

Well we had our rehearsal for the ICF, it was shitty!! I forgot my notes, got lost... BAD! BAD!! and the performance is on wednesday... And we produce this kind of results... haiz... Lots to do man!

Another worry is the tickets sales but well I think that is not much of a problem...

I want to have a elder brother so badly... I have one person in mind and that is Chris one of my band senior.... He is such a caring guy... A good brother in fact!! Maybe becoz we were born on the same day just that he is one year older than me... I feel very close to him... Hope I have a brother like that...

Ohya... wanted to write something here yesterday but before that... If what I am going to type here is gonna change some of you guys opinion of me... then go ahead...

Ok recently I have very serous mood swing... I feel sad... sometimes very angry... Becoz of my sisters... I controls my sisters alot... Coz I think that is the only way to discipline them... they have to ask for my permission before they go out... I know they won't like it... Coz I was once their age and my auntie did that to me... I totally know how it feels... But if both my sisters have no one to control them... I don't know what they will become... Maybe they know what they are doing.... I having been teaching how to behave when I started to live with my parents...

I have already gave up hope on Meiying( my youngest sister), I never controls her anymore... Guess what... Now when she goes out she don't even bother telling me... So fine I can't be bothered either... in the past if she do that I will be very angry... But this type round no... I don't even feel pissed at all... If that is the life she wants then I'm fine with it...

Sometimes my mother asks me where are they or ask me to scold them... I will just say it's not my business... At times, my mum is worried about what they do outside... But...

So all my concentration is on my second sister... But who would expect things to happen... she is quite disrespectful recently... maybe mood swing or whatever... I don't know... there are some other things like not coming back home on time... I hate it when I tell them to come back on time... and they do not...

So that day, I can't remember what happen... I shouted at them... Coz they did something... I said " I swear!! I will never bother about you people anymore!!" I actually said "I swear!"... Never in my whole life did I use that word!! Never once... And they make me say it...

In the past, I would just said I'm never gonna be bothered by you all anymore... But end up I still bother about them... I told jermaine about that before... she said,"aiyo... Jocelyn you always said that. but end up she still bother about them..." But how can I not?! They are my sisters, I can't don't bother about them... We are not scare of our parents... Coz they are not firece enough... But at times....

I remember there was one period, my youngest sister was really rebellious... It's recently... I was very stressed up... I didn't know what to do... I've got so many things to worry and she has to be like that at that time... I really couldn't take the stress from school, my two sisters and band... I told jermaine and she said," Jocelyn I think you don't bother about your sisters la, you like very stressed up and not happy at all."

She really say out how I feel... I was not happy at all... I didn't like it either... I feel so tired... But at that time I was relunctant to give up... But what can I do? I didn't know what to do... I was so helpless... I had shed tears so many times becoz of them... I feel so useless as a elder sister... Does being a good sister means not bothering about them? Maybe I used the wrong method...

When I swear that i can't be bothered by them on friday, I cried... i don't know why... It just comes out...
But I know this time I'm for real... I am really going to give up... I can't go on anymore... I don't wanna cry or shout becoz of them anymore... Never will I want to!! I rather have my voice to sing... It affects my vocal so much!! No matter how relunctant I am, just gonna let go... I will never shout at them or scold them anymore... If people is gonna say that as a sister you should teach them, I can't be bother... bothering about them means shedding tears....

Now I know how my auntie feels when I was rebellious that time... It's really not easy... I'm hurt becoz of them, And she's definitely hurt by me... so much so much... Coz she really dote me alot...

I realized that when we are in the wrong, we never said sorry... When my younger sister did something wrong and i didn't talk to her... She didn't talk to me either... Not even a word of apologise... HA! Am I in the wrong?? But now all this are no longer gonna exist or happen again...

But next time when I'm in the wrong I want to learn how to say sorry to my family... This is one thing that I have not learnt... But to my friends I can but not my parents... It's time to learn...

Of coz I'll still talk to my sister, but from today or now onwards it would be just craps... No more like the past...

Ok guys... If you read this I don't know how will you all think... But this is who I am... part of me...

Countdown to MD:
13 days

Message of the day:

Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference...

To both of you:
If you all happen to read... this is how I feel... I don't want any sorry... Sick of it already... What I have been telling or teaching you all this years, seriously it's a waste of my effort... i'm sorry... I don't know how you all feel, but it's time to stop...

Well quite alot to say today, but I'm having a terrible headache now... Think I'll write tomorrow...

Went shopping with jermaine just now... OKie I bought all the things that I need for my cousin's wedding... I have arrange everything already... Great!

I've finally decided to highlight my hair... My first time!! I gave my first time to esplande... I highlight becoz of the concert... I've fixed an appointment with Steven already....

Okie... Off to sleep!

Countdown to MD:

13 days

Message of the day:

Having headache can't think.... hehe...

smilez...........

Today's econs test was quite all right... can pass but not confidence enough to pass well... Coz I have never done well in my econs... I might even fail... opps...

Just hope it's good news... quite worried... Actually I'm quite worried for lots of things... Like my coming concert at esplande... Really nervous... Sometimes I can't even get to sleep at night... Also the coming ICF performance... Haven't really master my parts well enough...

After my econs test, went to the band room to self prac... Hehe... Learn another new rhythm on the drum set... ...super happy! well tat's what I want initially... but think I'm in love with percussion so it's not just drums...

Think I must really thank Lj, if not for him... I don't think I would be able to be in band or be a percussionist.... Even though it's tough at times, but I enjoy alot... At least I'm doing something I like!!

After self prac, Jermaine and I went shopping for awhile at orchard... To get clothes for my cousin's wedding... But well now everything it's settle.... I know what to wear on the both days already! Thanx jermanine for coming to my house to help me out! Thanx pal!!

Well, except for the shoes need to shop for it... asnd my hair... Well, 2 burdens are off my shoulders(econs test & wedding dinner out-fit), but another one has come... I went to consult my doctor just now about my acne... Have been seeing him for about 4 months already... The antibiotes are working but too slow... so he gave another type of medication called "Oratane"... When I take this medicine, I have to sign a consent form... It's about me knowing that when I'm being treated with this medicine I can't get pregnant... well it has no efffect on me la... so signing the consent form it's abit useless cause I don't involve in pre-martial sex...

The thing that worries me is the side effects that I will when I take this medicine... Example: dry lips, dry nose... And in the booklet it also mention that it may cause my joints and muscles to be tender and stiff!! Now this is it... I can't afford that to happen on me... I have to play for my concert the following week... If that is gonna happen , how am I to perform cause I need to use my hands to play... I know there is nothing to worry about cause I can go back and consult my doctor about this problem... But I'm just worried!! Think I better give him a call next week... God bless me!!

okie... I'm off to practice my strokes for awhile then go to bed... I've got church tomorrow!! Hehe... GReat!

Countdown to MD:

14 days

Message of the day:

Only you yourself is responsible for all your actions... No one is to be blame...

Econs test....

Having econs test tomorrow.... I skip school today just to study... Slept til 1+... So shiok.. Have missed so much sleep recently... Well intended to go see a doctor to get a MC but decided not too... Since I've already decide to skip, why pretend to be sick... It's a waste of money and time....

So me and meichan went to habourfront to eat lunch and after that went to MacDonald's to study... When I came home started to do my tutorials and 2 past year paper... Well.... I know how to answer the questons... But just a little worried.... Coz everytime what I do in the papers, it's so different to my actual test... I'm so worried.... Preparation = 75%, Confidence level = 30%.... Sigh....

Just finished studying everything... Hope everything goes well!! God Bless me!!

Countdown to MD:

15 days

Message of the day:

Love is an act of endless forgiveness a tender look which becomes a habit...

Great day!

okie... It's a good day... Coz of band!! Haha.... We had our guest conductor here.... He's Dr Alan Lourens.... I think he has a Bachelor in music and something as.... He is from Australia... He is a really funny guy... Very interesting way of conducting.... He interpret the piece Divertimento for Band for us.... And I had never play attention to this piece except for my part which is movement 1 & 3... There are all together 6 movements.... It's my first time really listening to the other parts... ANd I love it!! Never knew it could be so nice....

Went to the library to study with Nat durng our break... I feel so good after studying... I'm so worried for my econs... I don't wanna fail... Have this feeling that I will feel... Think I've been neglecting my studies recently becoz of band... I'll always be too tired to study that I just wanna relax... Think I better get back on track... It's time.... Or else I will have to pay for my own consequences....

Don't really have much to write coz I'm too tired... Too lazy to recall what happen....

Ohya... concert is coming soon... I'm so worried for the ticket sales... Heard from Kyle it's not that good...

Ok off to study the last chapter of econs....

Countdown to MD:

16 days....

Message of the day:

Imagination is more important than knowledge...

Boring....

*Yawnz*
Itab lesson is so boring.... I fell asleep while she was teaching... Maybe she need to go for some presentation lesson as what Nat has said... Ohya we have this Student personal development programme... Maybe she can attend too.... Hehe... :p

Microsoft Access is so boring.... I don't really understand what she's teaching... Partially I'm not paying attention too.... Nvm... Go home study myself... Since I have the notes and the programme... Anyway that's what Itab is about!

TIRED!!! Later still got band! Today's a long long day!!

All Right~!

I finally played my cowbell solo correctly!!! Feel so happy!! It was really solo!! bcoz Chris was not there and it was so quiet for the percussion solo.... But anyway I feel abit proud of myself! hehe.... Of coz the practice help me... And also the encouragement from Jermaine and my section people!! If not for them, I think I would give up long long time ago.... But just hope nothing goes wrong on the concert itself...

Very tired today! Slept at 3+ and woke up at 9+... Coz James and Kevin reach my house so early to do project... They are really early freaks!! Guys proud of you!! Haha.... It's good to be early!! We came up with the skit and everything... Did till about 4+...

Then after that I've got to go back to school for rehearsal for the ICF!! Carrying the instrument was enough to kill already!! I was already pespiring like hell within 10 mins.. And the bloody weather is so humid!!

As usual we always wait for quite long for our turn to rehearse but of coz we are not the last... Today's rehearsal was not bad... But something seems missing... Aiya... don't know la....

Reached home about 11 coz after the rehearsal we stayed for band prac... we try a new piece today it's our encore piece... I should not reveal it... It was nice... I enjoyed playing my part but it's just temporary... Coz Lj have not gave out the parts yet....

I'm so tired... and I need to study for my econs.... haiz... Can't concentrate man!! No I must! I have to study tonight too... Coz tomorow I have band... There will be a guest conductor... Forgot his name... hehe....

Studying tomorrow too... during the 2 hours break... Coz Nat can't study at home she is glued to her Tv! Haha... Nat you came up with a time-table right!! Why didn't you stick to it!!! Haiz... And I don't want last minute work!! I hate it!!

Okie... Off to bath... I feel so sticky.... Then study!!

Countdown to MD:
17 days

Message of the day:

All our dreams come true if we ease to pursue it!!

Feel so good now!

Today was quite a good day... I went to school at 1 while school starts at 10! Ok I overslept again! hehe... after I took the spss test.... Went to the library with Nat... What I saw can never make me even happier man! hehe... Sort of have a nice time studying there....

I went to jog just now at about 10+... Went with my sister... feel so good! Finally I jog! Feel so freshed and healthy!! Haha....

After school I went to the band room to self practice... Coz there will be a coming peformance next Wednesday... Is for some International Culture Festival! There will be a rehearsal tomorrow at 6... GOD!! haiz... don't think I can make it tomorrow!!

Have been back since 8+.... And I have not study til now!!! I'm supposed to study for my Econs!! It's on Saturday I've not enough time... Think after this I'll go study....

Nat, Shun Li, James and Kevin were be coming to my house in the morning to do our CD( character development) project.... Hope can get it done faster.... but something really keeps me thinging... how come when we suggest to come my house to do the project Kevin didn't say anything... He didn't object or say a single word! When all he knows is doing it in school!!! It's always school....

I've got so many things on next week... Such a busy week! Wednesday- performance, Thursday-cousin's chinese wedding, Saturday- cousin's wedding( where they sign the paper and exchange vows)....

And I'm gonna miss the opportunity of having the guest conductor conducting us! Shit!! It's such a good opportunity! and I'm gonna miss it! Haiz....

Okie time to study!! But I'm so sleepy!! No I must study!! DETERMINATION!!!!

Countdown to MD:
18 days!

Message of the day:

Tomorrow can be too late..... A simple sentence but it applys to everything!! Try to read and understand... Really understand!!

Stats Test....

Just finished doing my stats spss test... It was ok... Not too bad... lucky i memorize the steps... Nat, Faezah and me try cheating... We didn't cheat much coz all of us will so into doing it... Nat was trying to verify her ans on my blog... guess what all my answers are different as hers.... Then i ask faezah... She has the same ans too... But I suddenly thought that the teacher would not be so stupid to let us do the same people... coz it's expected we will do something like that... True enough both of them were doing set C and I was doing set B..... Lucky!!

Wah... It's raining heavily outside... such a nice weather to sleep!! This is my first lesson of the day... Coz i didn't attend Itab! I was sleeping... HAHA... TO lazy to come... Didn't manage to write coz of my stupid cable....

I hurt my leg yesterday... Becoz of Chris!! The vibraphone hit my leg... it was so painful that i immediately fell to the ground... It was swollen yesterday and couldn't walk properly... now it's better...

Ok off to the library to study Econs!!

Went to church this morning.... Then after service went to Barrie's house (soon-to-be cousin-in-law; in about 1 week time!)... Help out in doing the programme sheet.... We had to use tongue depressor and satay stick to paste the programme sheet into a fan... As in those using hand to fan.... We had to do 320 of them but becoz we will out of satay sticks... so we stop...

Reach home about 6+... Slack around for awhile then after that went to Habourfront with meiying to have dinner.... We had dinner at g5...

I'm super tired and giddy now... Can't even sit properly.... think I need to go rest.... Still got school tomorrow... and it would be a long day still got sectional... Off!

Message of the day:

Life is the process of finding love; every person will need to find four people in their life.

Something to share....

First person is you,

Second person is the one you love most,

Third person is the one who love you most,

And the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your
life with.



In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love
most, and learn how love feels.

Because you know how love feels, so you can find the
person who loves you most.

When you have experienced the feeling of loving others
and being loved, you will then know what it is you
need most.



Then you will find the person who is most suitable for
you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.



Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually
not the same person.



The one you love most doesn?t love you.

The one, who love you most, is never the one you love
most.

And the one you spend your life with, is never the one
you love most or the one who love you most.

He is just the person who happens to be at the right
place at the right time.



Which person are you in other people?s life?



No person will purposely have a change of heart.

At the point in time when he loves you, he really
loves you.

But when he doesn?t love you anymore, he really
doesn?t love you anymore.

When he loves you, he can?t pretend that he doesn?t.

Same goes, when he loves you no more, there?s no way
he can pretend he loves you.



When a person doesn?t love you and wants to leave you.


You must ask yourself if you still love him,

If you also don?t love him anymore, do not keep him
just to save your pride.

If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
and hope that he will be with the one he loves most,
not stop him from it.

If you stop him from finding true happiness with the
one he loves, it shows you already don?t love him,

And if you don?t love him, what rights do you have to
blame him for a change of heart?



Love is not possessive,

If you like the moon, you can?t just take it down and
put it in your basin,

But the moonlight still shines upon you.

In other words, when you love a person, you can use
another method of possessing the person.

Let him become a permanent memory in you life.

If you really love a person, you must love him for
what he is.

Love him for his good points, and the bad,

You can?t wish for him to become like what you like
him to be just because you love him.



If he can?t change to become what you like him to be,
you don?t love him anymore.



When you really love a person, you cannot find a
reason why you love him,

You only know that no matter when and where, good mood
or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with
you.

Real love is when two people can go through the
toughest problems without asking for promises or
listing criterias.

In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give
in at times, not always be on the receiving end.

Being away from each other is a type of test,

If the relationship isn?t strong, then you can only
admit defeat.

Real love will never become hate.



When two people are in love,

They love to ask each other to swear, to make
promises.

Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?

Because they don?t trust each other, they don?t trust
their lover.

These swear and promises are useless;

Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for
you will never change!

We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean
will never dry,

Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?



Be careful when making promises; don?t make promises
that you cannot keep.

Swear by things that can never happen, because it can
never happen, so no harm just saying it casually.

Remember, ?Swearing by things that can never happen
are the most touching!!?

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what
you do is another;

The one saying, doesn?t believe; the one listening,
also doesn?t believe.



Which person have you found so far?

In the world so big, which person have you found?

And who has found you?

Finally~!

Met Faezah and Nat to do project in the afternoon... We meet at Habourfront Mac and we finish doing it in about 2 hrs I think... We finish at 5+ so we still had time... and we went SHOPPING!! Finally man!! Have not gone shopping for a long long time... Can't believe that there are tings to shop at Habourfront! Never thought that i could get anything there.....

I bought a pair of jeans and a pink polo tee from Hang Ten. A long sleeve shirt from Euraugo... And 2 pairs of earrings and a ring... Wah.... I feel so good! after so long....

OHYA... Nat felt so cheated! haha.... she bought a mood ring and after a few hours there was something wrong with the ring... she wanted to change it.... So while waiting for me to finish my dinner... she hold on to the ring and the receipt for a long time.... and when we will done... She actually sae this few words, "Goods that are sold, are NOT exchangeable"! haha.... she felt so pissed and cheated! Faezah and me was laughing our heads off..... She's so blur!!

Wonder if is her ring alright now?

Feel so sick nowadays.... My neck is so tight... My throat so uncomfortable!! Argh....... I can't fall sick!! Concert is coming!!! hm... so tired today not writing anymore! Off to slack around!

Countdown to MD:
23 days...

Message of the day:

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

DISGUSTING!!

YUCKS!!!! GROSS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS HAPPEN TO ME!! I'M UTTERLY DISGUSTED!!! OH MY GOD!!! Guys you all can't believe that this happen to me!! I found 2 small cockroaches in my bowl of noodle just now!!! I already started eating!!! MY GOD!!! I immediately ran to the toilet and dig out my food! I practically vomitted everything!! I'm never gonna buy from that stall anymore! That's one of my favourite stall! Don't laugh peopl! Wait till it happen to you all!!

My mum thought that there was a cockroach flying around, she quickly came out of the room to help us catch! But when she found out that it was in my bowl of noodle! She can't stop laughing!! GOD~! She tookthe bowl of noodle down to complain while I was in the toilet trying to vomit everything out!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The thought of it makes my hair stand!!! GESH!

My worst night mare man! hope next time i won't find a lizard in it! Better stop or else i will start having nightmare!

Today was a tired day... School starts at 9 and end at 4, then I've got sectionals after that.... Went for tuition just now! Saw qiao ting's maths paper... She could have score 81 rather than 53!! Look at the marks such a big difference! She could have score a high 'B'....

Ohya!! Poor Nat! Her student is like some "prevert"? My god! It's just the first lesson and she wants to quit! That kid must be super terrible! Just don't understand some kids... Simple maths problems sums also can't do! Used to have such a student... Really can die man! I'm quite glad that the mum stop tuition...

Well, Nat if you really can't teach her then nvm... you can look for better one... why waste your time... can go home and sleep or watch tv! But I think you go for a few more lessons better... I don't think the mum would sack you. I think all her previous 8 tuition teachers all sack themselves! haha... But if you wanna teach, I'll support and try to help think of ways to deal with her k!! See I'm such a good friend! Don't need money somemore!

So sleepy now... yawnz...

Off to sleep! Got to do project tomorrow! And my message of the day is.........

Watch out for what is inside your bowl of food... You never know what you will find!! WATCH OUT!!

PACC Test...

Got back my pacc test... It was horrible.... Ok this is what happen... My teacher give me 16 marks lesser and that's is 3 grades difference! I've got only 41%, I was so sad and demoralised! I put in effort to study this time round and this is the kind of results I got... Ok maybe not hard enough... I couldn't help it I almost broke down!

But all thanx to Nat, my great pal! She help me recalculate the marks again! She realize that Ms Han actually calculate the marks wrongly! I passed I've got 57%! So much different.... Well is not that good! But I'll try harder next time and put in more effort... I'm gonna practice my acc at least 3times a week... I hope I will....

I'm gonna do better in my next test.... No, should be final-year exam already!

Lastly, THANX NAT!!

Patience!

Itab lessons... So bored! Most of my classmates are slacking around... not really paying attention to what she say... Everybody is so tired... Faezah is sleeping and Wanling is busy playing "Bounce"... And me? I ain't no better...

Today is SB day! Why must she have lesson? While I was coming to school, I can't help but feel that it seems so wrong today... Something seems wrong! So wrong! I was thinking if I come to class and see no one... I'll be like a fool... But thank god nothing went wrong... After the lessons, everything seems back to normal again....

After Itab, I accompany Nat to Espirit at Borders to buy her $9 cosmetics which she went mad over it....

When she bought it she was super happy... and the salesgirl even gave her a $10 off voucher... everybody will have it if you purchase something there... not becoz you are a beauty k! haha.... But!!! You must spend a minimum of $40 or $60 to use that voucher.... and the worse thing is that! Today is the last day the voucher is used! So too bad...

Later we intended to take the free shuttle bus from orchard to great world... But we went to C.K Tang to shop for awhile to kill time... And I bought a necklace at $6 only.... so worth it! We had our lunch at great world, then shop for awhile and we head home... it was raining so heavily! Came I slept and went for band... I took a cab again! this is the 4th time I'm taking a camp within a week! Imagine how much money I could save... I overslept! Woke up at 6 while band starts at 6.30! haiz....

But band was fun today! I can say we played better than the previous practice... We could go through all the pieces played... And I could do my cowbells part in "Cartoon" and my Xylophone part in "Divertimento for Band".... Hahaha.... I'm so happy.... But scared at the same time coz the concert is in 25 days time.... I'm so nervous.... It's at Esplande!!! I have not even perform at Victoria concert hall before and I'm already performing at Esplande! Been there a few times to watch concerts but now it's different! People are there to hear us play! Can't wait!

I've been reading this book recently, so please be patient to read my entry if it's too long... Coz I wanna share with you guys... This book is entitled "I kiss dating goodbye." It really enlightens me alot... ok this book is written for Christians... But I think non-believers can read it to... coz what is written inside applies to most of us... commitments, feeling hurt when facing breakups... In our society today, there are not many people saving sex for marriage... There are so many abortion rates and it is continuing to increase... underage mothers, etc. But what if you break-up with your other partner? What do you get in the end? Happiness? or is it hurt and regrets when you think of the past? If we are not ready to commit then i think we are just in love with love!

Ever heard of the story "The Magic Thread" by William J. Bennett? It's a French tale.
Peter, a boy who is strong and able yet sadly flawed by an attitude of impatience. Always dissatisfied with his present condition, Peter spends his life daydreaming about the future.
So one day whilewandering in the forest, Peter meets a strange, old woman who gives him a most tantalizing opportunity- the chance to skip the dull, mundane moments of life. She hands Peter a silver ball from which a tiny, gold thread protrudes. "This is your life thread," she explains. "Do not it and time will pass normally. But if you wish time to pass more quickly, you have only to pull the thread a little way and an hour will pass like a second. I know some of us up to here... will feel like having your own life thread.. it would be so wonderful if you can control it right? But wait.... there is more to come... The old woman warn him, once the thread has been pulled out, it cannot be pushed back again.

This magical thread seems the answer to all of Peter's problems. It is just what he had always wanted. He takes the ball and runs home...

His first opportunity to pull the thread was the following day in school. The lesson is dragging, and the teacher scolds Peter for not concentrating. Peter fingers the silver ball and gives the thread a slight tug. Suddenly the teacher dismisses the class, and Peter is free to leave school. He is over-joyed! How easy his life will now be. GOOD right? From this moment, Peter begins to pull the thread a little everyday.

But soon Peter begins to use the magic thread to rush through larger portions of life. Why waste time pulling the thread just a little every day when he can pull it hard and complete school altogether? How we wish right? He does so and finds himself out of school and apprenticed in a trade. Peter uses the same techniqur to rush through his enagement to his sweetheart. He cannot bear to wait months to marry her, so he uses the gold thread to hasten the arrival of his wedding day.

Peter continues this pattern throughout his life. when hard, trying yimes come, he escapes them with his magic thread. When the baby cries at night, when he faces financial struggles, when he wishes his own children to be lauched in careers of their own, Peter pulls the magic thread and bypasses the discomfort of the moment.
If you realize all of them is becoz Peter is impatient...

But sadly, when he comes to the end os his life, Peter realizes the emptiness of such an existence. By allowing impatience and discontentment to rule him, Peter has robbed himselfof life's richest moments and memories. With only the grave to look forward to, he deeply regrets ever having using used the magic thread. But what can he do now?

I believe all of us want to rush over the hard times... If we could be like Peter that would be how nice? But have you ever thought that if you will like him... You will not be able to enjoy life to the fullest! In the end, Peter himself regrets too.... Whose life is always so smooth? There are ups and downs in everybody's life... Butwe just have to faced it... If your life is so smooth everyday, won't you get bored? I don't know about you guys but for me I think it would be... Think! Don't be quick to say no!

Too often, people want what they want (or what they think they want, which is usually "happiness" in one form or another) right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by a willingness to accept the bad with the good, do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile.
The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing....

The last few sentences are my message of the day...

What a tired day!

Today is the last day of volunteerer work at SSVH.... I'm happy & sad at the same time.... Happy becoz I don't have to sweep the leaves anymore! I really hate it man! It so tiring... ok i admit i don't even sweep the floor at home... unless my mom ask me to. Well, sad becoz i can't get to see Stephaine anymore! Btw she is the kid whom I took care of during the 5 weeks of community service... Really gonna miss her... When i told her that today is my last day... She kept asking me when I'll go back again.... I promised her i will visit her but i don't know when I'll be free....

But today we didn't sweep, all of us help in designing the notice board.... Val came out with the design and we draw,cut and paste... Hmm.... I think it looks very nice! We ended quite late today... 2hrs later than the usual time.... After that Alvin, Nat and me went to United Square to eat... As usual I'm always the last one to finish my food... And Nat was comparing me wth her 95 years old grandfather... She said he can eat faster than me! I just can't eat fast! I don't know why! It's me! JOCELYN! Then after that I left over the minced meat and mushroom! And both of them was scolding me for not eating them coz it's delicacies... Sorry to me VEGETABLES THEN IS DELICACIES!! So Nat ended up finishing the minced meat!:p

Then we went to the arcade with Alvin... And there were people filming there... I saw Rui-en... And Alvin was like,"What! RUI_EN!!" Well,I don't really like her so I think I better don't comment about her... in cause I offend people...

We took a cab home! Cab again! I shared it with Nat.... Once i reach home, i just changed and I "drop dead" on the bed! I slept from 2+ to 6.30! WHOA!!! Super Shioked! Again got to wake up coz i need to give tuition!

Talking about tuition... Qiao Ting, my student, got back her results already... Her mother sms me... She did really bad! English-53, Maths-64... I was really disappointed when i saw it... I didn't expect her to do so badly... I think the worse nightmare of a tuition teacher is seeing their own student getting bad results.... Haiz... Now trying my best to help the both of them...

Tomorrow is SB day! Supposingly we have no school but the stupid Ms Hor says since they didn't inform me then we will have lesson! DAMN! Can't we just have a break from Itab! Really hate computer stuff especially when there is test!

Got my pay recently, actually intended to go shopping... But just now Lj msg me," Pls bring $200 for deposit for the trip".... I was like....

There goes my plan.... haiz... Think I'll come home to sleep first then go back to school for band....

Message of the day:

He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses ALL!

Therefore, Have Faith!

My chest still hurts...

Reach home rather late today... about 10... Went to give Nini tuition.... it was 3hrs plus... super long! I was very tired and angry with her... Another day with worries! Seems like this time i will not expect good results from her... Can't she just co-operate with me?! I know she don't like chinese and she is not a chinese, it would be rather difficult for her to study chinese... But can't she just spare a thought for me?! haiz....

Till today, my chest still hurts... it's so painful! As if I'm being stab! So painful... Till i can't even breathe or eat properly...Some of my friends advise me to see a doctor, but i don't have the time...ok or rather i don't feel like? Ouch! Just swallow a piece of watermelon! It really hurts... Think it's time for me to see a doctor, but i think i wait for a few more days...

Recently(actually not recently), been thinking for 2 months already... feel like changing a phone... But i don't know what to get... i have too many phones in mind and too many opinions from people... I want to get GD88 but alot of people have it... too common... some say it's not good... E700A... Too EXPENSIVE!

But i sort of have a phone in mind now... not too bad... maybe some people will not like it... but i think it's cool... Motorola V690... guys pls help me take a look and give opinion....

Something funny happen just now.... I went down to get supper with my sisters. When we were on our way back.... a small rat suddenly dashed out! We will screaming like nobody business... everybody was looking at us... and it was 12+ already... felt so embarassed! But it was a good laugh after all... we all felt silly...

Have not been sleeping well this few days... I'm so tired but i just don't wanna sleep... Don't know why... I want to be so exhausted that once I lay on the bed... I'll fall asleep immediately... I get so tired when i go to school for lessons...

Ohya... Jermaine passed me the VCD today... the show is called "Drumline". It's about this guy who is very talented but he doesn't know how to read scores... How talented he is.... Lets say someone play the rhythm and it's his first time hearing it... It can played it immediately... this is how talented he is... He's the best natural drummer the college has ever had but struggles in his new world becoz of his streetwise attitude... But he soon realizes the hard way that it takes more than talent to reach the top...

It's very true... So what you have the talent & qualification... who will ever want you if you have a bad attitude... Attitude is the most important factor one must have when doing anything.... Attitude tells a person... who will want that?

Anyway, this show is super nice... It's funny,sexy and rousing! hehe....

Ok... my eyes are closing soon... and I've got to wake at 6.15 tml... need to go to the blinds' home.... Gd Nitez PALS!!

Message of the day:
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your head.

Itab Quiz!!

I just finish taking my Itab Quiz!! I passed! I've got 75 out of 145!! HAHA.... It was difficult man! Computer stuff are not for me! But all thanx to Nat or else i will not even get 75/145... I think i will get lower than that... Thanx Pal! This quiz is only 5%... and i tried to study yesterday... But i can't! Once i started reading the notes, it was sleeping time! They are like ailen to me! But for my previous 2 ICA... I've got 90 for my powerpoint project, 80% for my frontpage! First time i did so well in computer stuff... I think this sememster Itab is funnier....

Think we are gonna start on a new program today... called Microsoft Acces! Don't really know what is it about... But by looking at the notes, it does not look fun at all....

I'm super tired and hungry now.... I woke up late again today, but not too late for a cab. I think I better stop taking cab... I took cab yesterday too! I've got to sleep early! Or else i will end up taking cab the whole week!!! NO! It's a waste of money! I've got to save!!

I think now most of us are slacking around... Coz some of my classmates are still doing the quiz... Ohya... Nat is so worried about her tuition coz she heard that the kid is a spoilt brat! She would keep turning her head and ask how.... Come on! Nat! She can't be that bad! Just go for the first lesson, then we will see how... Don't worry the expert is here!! haha...

Rainy day and monday....

Rainy day and monday.... One of the song by Carpenters. Ever heard of it...

Talking to myself and feeling old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothing is really wrong
Feeling like I don't belong
Walking around some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
It's nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
To run and find the one who loves me

(*) What I feel is come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me

Repeat (*)

Hangin around, nothing do to but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

This is the lyrics... Rainy days and mondays always get me down... that is emphasis and the saxophone solo is nice. It has been raining all day, everywhere was so cold and foggy. Everywhere you can see people with umbrella and jackets. But I was wondering.......WHY CAN'T IT RAIN DURING THE HOLIDAYS!! It's such a nice weather to sleep and today all of us got to drag ourselves to school. I was late for school coz i overslept! When i took a cab this morning, that driver was dumb enough to stop quite far away from the bus-stop. What is the use of me staying at the bus-stop to hail a cab?! I got abit wet... Today was a short day in school 12-5, a break from 2 to 3. I had a terrible lunch today! I had a difficult time eating... my chest ache with our mouth of food I eat. I just feel so terrible... Whether will I die?

Just finish doing my blog... change the skin already! Think this is nicer! Of coz! It's my taste!! Hehe.... At the same time waiting for my younger sister to finish her work... so we can go to sleep together... Seems like she still got lots of homework to do! Must be always never pass up her work... do last minute work...

I had a four hour tuition with Nini on maths today!!! Coz tomorrow is her Maths CA... She really makes me very worried for her... Simple things she can't even do or rather I should say she forgot! The questions that i ask her to do, I have gone through with her before! But she simply forgot! ALL HER WORK!! Haiz... Hope she won't be so lazy to think later...

I feel so sick now.... my neck is so tight and my head is spinning... Think I'm falling sick! But hope i will not fall sick this 2 days coz it's Nini's CA... can't afford to miss anything with her... she is so dependent on me....BAD SIGN!!

Actually I wanted to write this in my blog a few days ago or rather last week... But i didn't know how to phrase what i want to say... I always wonder how does people stay committed when they keep changing gf/bf? I have a friend... Recently, his gf broke up with him. He felt so sad and demoralised. But 1 week later, he told me he has a new gf. What are all this people thinking. And he is those kind of committed person. Would you say a person is committed if he changes his gf so quickly or get over it quickly? I mean is the current person you dating now just a substitue? Have you ever ask yourself this question? Is it going to be fair to the person? Or is it that you can't stand loneliness? I always wonder how this people can change so fast... You need time to get over a person but it's too fast right...

"Why shop if you're not gonna buy?" Exactly. Why date if you can't marry yet? I'm 18, and I have dated once only. But that's not the real one, it's just a game. I know i may sound bad here but wait.... This game is no fun at all. It looks agonizing and painful. In our society, today I know people may laugh at what i say cause go ask around they are so many people in a relationship. They feel that it is an experience. But you only have one heart, in every short-term relationship you gave part of your heart to each of them, what's left for your future spouse?

I wanna share a story with you guys, it may be long but i hope u guys read it. This girl Anna and David was getting married, as the minister began to lead them through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of 6 girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna. Anna felt her lip beginning to quiver as tears welled up in her ears. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David.

"I'm...I'm sorry,Anna,"he said.

When she ask him who are these girls he answered her they're girls from his past. "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now... but I've given part of my hear to each of them."

"I thought your heart was mine," she said.

"It is, it is," he pleaded. " Everything that's left is yours."

A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up. It was just a dream but when she woke up she felt so betrayed.

There may be girls or boys from your past. Have you ever thought that what if one day the other party's girls or boys from their past showed up at your wedding day? Or rather the girls or boys from your past? What could they say in the receiving line?

"Hello. Those were some pretty lofty promises you made at the altar today. Hope you're better at keeping promises now than you were when i knew you."

Don't be quick to say no.... Just think! Won't you feel betrayed if that happens to you.... The people may have forgiven you but do you feel the ache of having given away your heart to too many girls in your past... Can you forgive yourself?

I regretted. I have made the person so sad... And I only wanted the one and only one... don't laugh at least i still have a big portion of my heart to my spouse...

Won't you feel betrayed when someone you love so much tells you that "Everything that's left is yours." And what's left is only 10% of his/her heart? I would be so heart-broken... I would not want to have all this people appearing on my wedding day... I know they won't... But how about your mind and heart?

So if you are still single now... It's ok! There is nothing wrong that you have not been in a relationship! It's a bonus instead...

Message of the day:

To truly love someone with smart love, we need to use our heads as well as our hearts. Love abounds in knowledge and insight. To "know" something is to understand or grasp it clearly and with certainty. "Insight" is an instance of understanding the true nature of something, the ability to see the motivation behind thoughts and actions.

argh.... My computer is so lag!!! Simply hate it! Think it's time to change one soon...hm... better start to save up abit so that i can fork out some of the money instaed of having my mum to pay all.... I have to save for so many things! My Perth trip in May, my cousin's wedding present.... even though my mum say she will help me pay all the $1400 but i feel so bad... I don't want her to pay all... Think I've got to control abit now...

Oh yes!! I'll be getting my pay tomorrow so happy! Can go shopping!Oops.... Ok I'll try! Come on Jocelyn!!

Think recently i put on abit of weight! I better start to lose weight man! I was losing previously now it's back!! ARGH..... No way! I'll go jogging tomorrow night!! Well, Nothing much today... Everything went fine! just tired... feel so sleepy

Off to sleep already... Gotta wake up early tomorrow!

Message of the day:

Rainbows are visions and only illusions..... Rainbows have nothing to hide....

TIRED!!!

I'm so tired!!! I slept at 7+ in the morning...Alicia they allwent home around 6+ but we went down to have breakfast.... It was fun last night.. finally played mahjong after so long!! Hehe... maybe not very long... Till now I'm still so sleepy.... I slept from 7+ till 6 in the evening!! But I'm still so sleepy, I've not been sleeping the past 2 nights bcoz of camp!! Imagine the number of hours of sleep i lost!! Can never replenish man!

I woke up at 6 is not bcoz i want to... is bcoz i have to!! I've got to give tuition! I'm so irritated by Nini just now, i was waiting for her to finish her dinner so i can teach her!! But she just can't stop talking... Imagine what I went through. It's a torture man~! I can never to get her stop talking!! But lucky when i ask her to do her work...Surprisingly she didn't really talk! Hmm... whether why. But hope is not just today... Really pray hard~

After tuition, i meet my sisters and we went to the pasar malam at Tiong Bahru... I bought 3 t-shirts and it cost $5 each.... and it's all PINK!! Ohya... then i saw Clement, he is still so appealing! whether when he will lose his charm? Oops.....

I have been eating alot just now, I'm trying to force my medicine down! It is stuck in between somewhere... i feel so horrible! Someone save me!! Does anyone have a way?! Can you tell me?! No rewards! Come on! We are friends...

Message of the day:
Women are like tea...
You don't know how strong they are
Until you add water...

Back from camp............

ALRIGHT HOME SWEET HOME!!!!!!! Finally back from camp.... actually i was back at 2 i fell alseep on the bed and i just woke up!! SUPER SHOIK AND COMFORTABLE!! I have not been sleeping well for the last 2 nights.... I miss my bed man! Now I'm home, so happy!!! HAHHA....... of coz I don't have the strength to jump like that now......

Anyway camp was alright but it is only just for the sleeping part it was the best so far as compared to the previous 2 camp experience.... But for the rehearsal part it was really shitty... I still can't do my "Cartoon" cowbells part! I have been practice the whole day on wednesday, since morning. I'm stuck at the tempo 138 but when i get anyone to see whether i played correctly... I can never get it right! I really can't take it, when Lj Told me another way to play i couldn't not hold back my tears anymore.... I ran to the toilet to cry... At that moment, I felt so helpless and useless.... I have been trying and trying so hard! " I want to quit band!", i couldn;t help thinking of this... but all my efforts will go into the drain if i quit now... I have been training for about 6 months plus already... from nuts to able to hold the drumstick and play properly and abit faster then the beginning... Should I quit?! Am I really not cut-out to be a percussionist?! I was so stressed up... I don't know what to do... I ask myself what should i do, should I quit?!

My mind was a yes but not my heart.... I love what I'm doing, i enjoy it. I can't bear to leave.... The thing about quitting always come whenever i get stress by band but thanx to my section people, they are really caring.... If not for them i think i would have gave up this dream... Anyway it's over.... remember walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow! I believe i can do it, just practice... And I'm gonna get it right even before the comcert at Esplande!

HAHAHA.... I can play mahjong later!! Alicia, Ivan, Alvin and maybe Jeslyn is coming to my house later.... supposed to go for class outing but woke up at six... hehe.... I was super tired!! Anyway, can;t wait for them to come, have not play for a long time.... okie off to bath already! I think i STINK MAN!!! see even he says that... hehe....

Message of the day:
Follow what your heart wants... Coz if you are going to miss it, you don't know when you are getting it back again. But don't regret after following your heart, or else you will never trust your heart anymore...

Finally, the cable is backed to normal! The cable was screwed up, i've waited since 11+...now then it is back...Anyway today is the first day of my term break, slept till 2 then i wake up... Didn't do anything much but just packed my table... Then i was supposed to go give tuition... guess what!when i reach my student's house, she's not at home!! Then i called her mum, no choice i have to come another day....... that means i get my pay later! haiz..... So i went to meet sufen, since i have to meet her so might as well meet early....

We went to the Macdonald's at Commonwealth... She wanted to study and i accopmany her there, even though i don't have to study for test coz i don't have one.... SEE! I'm such a good friend! Sufen! you should be happy k! And not complaining about my notes! well, i basically spend my time there copying there all my tuitorial into a exercise book so that i will not lose the answers.... while i was copying i overheard 2 persons conversation... i didn't want to be nosy... but the man was too loud that i just can't help listening to it.... but anyway his conversation reminds me of myself....

Their conversation ( if I'm not wrong) was about the other guy's problem... that guy is about 15-16 yrs old and he thinks that his mother controls him too much... and nagging at him for playing games and neglecting his studies...."just bcoz she never sees me studying, it does not mean that i did not put in effort in my studies", that was what he said.... the man was counselling him.. telling him that she is your mother after all, you have to tell her where you go and all that stuff.....

Well, it reminds me of myself when i was in sec 4... i felt that my auntie controls me too much and my family didn't care about... but that was not true... every action that they did was a way to show me concern but i didn't understand them.... just bcoz it was not the way i want it.... the point is that family members are the most important people... Learn to cherish them, don't wait till you lose them... Sufen was asking will i regret about something bcoz of my lateness... something like tat... actually i had regretted once... actually i could go down earlier to the hospital to visit my grandma but instead i drag the time and when i reach there she's gone.... sufen say,"then... why are still always late." i told her,"it's bcoz if i rush there early means i want my friend dead." she was laughing... actually i find it quite contradicting... but well i know when i have to be late, when i can't be late.... so.... i think i'll have no regrets... i'm so sorry guys! hehe....

HAIZ... I've got camp in about 12 hours time! and i have not pack my things yet.... I'm so lazy! Can't get started, thinking of alot of things.... while i was walking home from the bus-stop just now... i was looking at my surrounding and i took out my ear piece.... i felt that everywhere was so dead the quiet.... even though there were people sitting at the market and coffee shop... At that moment how i wish there was music playing all the while... everywhere i go there were be music.... i guess that's the existence of discman... without music the world seems so dull and dead... i felt so small... the moment i had my ear piece back... i felt so different... i can't survive without my discman!! my world is so colourless without it....

but sometimes music can be a headache... why coz you can experience it in the bandroom.... talking about that band! Mr Tan is gonna test me tml... I'm so scared and nervous... i don't have the confidence there.... Just hope it can turn out ok! GOD BLESS ME...

Suddenly remember Sufen telling me that she wants to go back to church... really happy to hear that.. didn't expect that.... But hope is soon.... Don't keep me waiting! you know i don't like to wait....

Message of the day:
Rainbow in the dark.... So long as you persist and not give up!Even in the dark, rainbow will appear. Just continue to breathe hardly you will get to see it... Don't give up! the rainbow colours will truimph over the darkness....

Easy & Difficult...

As i was checking my mail, i came across this mail that my friend send me... Easy & Difficult.... it's just 2 simple words but describing all the things that are not easy to do... And some of us may have stuggles when they meet some of the problems faced as mention in the messages.... Just find it meaningful, so wanna share with you guys....

EASY ....... DIFFICULT

Easy is to get a place is someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...

Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...

Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

guess this sets you thinking...

Criticism or praises?

Just now before I went to take a bath, my sis was reading my bloc and she commented on it... then while I was bathing I suddenly thought of this question.... Am I a person who need people to praise me or criticise me so that I can be motivated? Can I take others criticism?

I remember Jermaine asking me this question... I told her that I can't take criticism, I need people to praise me... but come to think of it. I'm actually both. When someone criticise me I would want to do better to show that person that I can do it... I don't want them to look down on me! And praises keeps me motivated too, when I'm good I want to be even better...

Actually all of us need both! Who will want to be criticise everyday?! you will be so demoralised! no one can only be one kind of person... Able to take others criticism is good but don't forget praises are just a reward at the end of the day after all the hard work... Just like you work in a company, you are very diligent worker. Of coz you want to be given increment right! who would want to stay at the same spot forever... everybody wants to move on... But something is needed to keep people motivated... that is rewards!

So if you can only take praises, learn how to take criticism and do not boast around when you are being praised! Don't get demoralised if there is no praises for you... who knows that at the end of all your hard work... you are recognised...

Instead of living in the shadow of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow! I always have this in my organiser... it is just to remind me to move on with hope everyday!