YOU SEE THAT!!

Relief Teacher Online Checking of Status

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ok i'm dying from insomia!! I have not been sleeping well for the past two nights! andI bloody hell don't know why!

I can't say it's stress from exams but I just can't sleep! And the funny thing is that I'm studying cause I can't sleep.

I slept at 6am on friday and on sat morning I woke up like every hour and finally I've gotta wake up at 12+... Think of the hours I 've slept!

I slept at 4+ on sat and woke up at 8+ this morning!!

Crap man!

ok stress is coming... I'm on the phone with my bd mates... PM, FM and BD!! totally stres!!

it's 4.32am and i'm still up... =)

Well all because of studying for pm... PM (Portfolio management) and FMRP are just like 2 days away man!! How am i going to study... PM has seven chapters!! but not forgetting the fact that it's rather heavy!! AND FMRP has 13 CHAPTERS!!!! No joke!! The one with the stupid 100 mcq!! Oh anyways I passed that test!! I've got 57...

Ok ya... anyways, I'm still quite wide awake! brain still working on fine! I think I can go on for an hour or so...

And I bloody hell have to start FMRP or else I'm just dead meat!

I simply can't wait for exams to be over. It's just so so horrible.

And I think i have to work out a expense budget...

I feel the pain in my heart, the unwillingness to treat you like that... The tears that came running down my cheeks with a guilty feeling.

But I'm still seeing red but I can't bring myself to quarrel with you or answer you back... With the door slightly open, you asked me to take dinner...

The scene and the feeling at that moment just makes me heart-broken... I can't bring myself to treat you like that but I'm still angry... I just don't understand why...

I've not spoken much to you since you came back, I really don't know what to do...

But I just wanna let you know...

I really love you. Mum.

Just who the hell am i...

sometimes I just wanna stop being the nice jocelyn and scream at those people that i don't like. Tell people that I don't like them for who they are. I hate the way they handle things! Overall I just wanna be straightforward to them!!

Why is it that I have to be nice to people?! By keeping quiet I think I've lost lots of things! People never notice the nice things that are done. And I often console myself by saying " it's ok. you don't need everybody to know that you have done something good". Sacrificing is good cause it makes people happy!

ugh. holy crap! Life's just a bitch!

It doesn't pays to be good! But what do you get to be evil?! Life is just a whole lot of contradicting stuff!! There's never being able to have both of the worlds!

I think I've kept quiet for so many issues already! But I think it takes a little initiative for the other party to do something! And stop sticking his/ her god damn arse on the chair thinking there's nothing wrong!

I just wanna yell at all these people right this instant!!! Shoot them down with my scream, shouts and scoldings!!! who the hell they think they are!! don't they have the word "shame" in their dictionary!! why are they born such an arse! ugh.

why do they have the right to play people out! ain't everyone human made of blood and flesh with feelings just like them?! yet they have the heart to play people out like a fool!! and change the whole damn story the other way round.

I just still don't get it!

and there are people who forced you to go do something you don't like and try to be nice and coax you!! Bloody bitch!! and the more persistent you are, they think you are heartless! Making people begging you! hey!! People have a choice!! own rights!!! I just don't understand!! The thought of it makes me feel like slapping that bitch!

ok if i'm gonna continue, it's never gonna end.

if you think i'm talking about you, you are thinking too much but well at least you have the word "shame" in your dictionary cause when I blog about this. it's definitely gotta do with people around me. but maybe thinking too much might be a good thing.

It's my blog! Jocelyn speaks!

*yAwNz*

Was practising my maths just now... Paper is on thursday! But i'm a sleepy head now! I'm not really concentrating but differentiation is still going easy on my brain. Just that I don't know whether to sleep or not?! I know I know I'm a weird person. Person that doze off while studying in front of the table, and wide awake while studying on her bed.

you must be thinking just go sleep la! the paper is on thursday! But you understand the GUILTY feeling! I bet all of you know it!!

Ok! My eyes are already signaling to me! my eyes are already so small! It's even smaller now! How terrible can I look!

I'm totally shut!

this is weird

I had a stomache so I had to go to the toilet.. Did my usual thing by bringing a mag in...

So I was reading through this section: Fantasy VS Fetish. thought it was quite interesting.

An I've learned names for unusual fetishes! And I really meant unusual!

Axillism : Fetish for using armpit for sex.
Androminetophilia : A woman who's sexually aroused by umpersonating a man.
Dasyproctic : Fetish for hairy buttocks.
Idrophrodisia : Arousal from perspiration.
Mysophilia : Sexual arousal by dirt and filth
Nanophilia : Fetish for kissing, sucking, touching or looking at another's nose.
Zelophilia : Arousal from jealousy.

Thought this is abit ridiculous already! wait till you hear this!!

Coprophilia : Arousal by Faeces!!!
can you imagine this!! Why the hell would you get arouse by faeces!! this is just weird!

cherish

how many times did you ever felt that you have made the wrong choice? And actually regret? and felt that you should have listen to the older generation advise and not go against?

when they tell you to go left, you just had to go right. and sometimes end up with bruises and tears.

still we reprimand them for not warning us? Or find them too naggy.

But how many 10 years do they have left?

Probably when they are gone, we would just miss all these. Miss the nags,scoldings or rather care, concern and love.

you might have the taste of it already or maybe not.

Just like me, I miss my grandma. Everything about her. Her nags, scoldings, beatings... it's just simply everything. And thinking that I might have took her existence for granted. and the worse thing was that she left without saying a word. do you know how that feels? she never woke up to speak to me again, I could only see her breathing everyday. And I never got to see her pair of gorgeous eyes anymore except in the photo.

if you have not taste it, don't try to. the feeling is just terrible cause the person is never gonna come back, so cherish what you have now. It's worth much more than gold or silver. and it's even better than shopping.

what you have now are blessings from God! Only once in a lifetime!

Watch this!!

I've shared this with a couple of people already! but i still think I shld share it wiht more! this guy is great! Beyond words!

Happy belated Valentine's day peeps!! Certainly hope you guys enjoy your time with your loved ones! Well I did! Though not with my dream guy but it was still wonderful!!

Love is in the air! well your valentine yesterday need not be with your gf/bf! it can be with friends or family! ya it's love... Not just towards gf/bf. but also love for family and friends!!

I had a whole lot of fun with darling cia though with sulian & bf disturbing our wonderful time!! but thought it was rather cute to see the both of them talk... we had dinner at yoshi at taka...

Then we went WINDOW SHOPPING!! These people are taking my life man!!! ugh! I'm dying from this whole shopping therapy!! I regret making those promises! i saw so many things I like!! But well I shall be determine!! It's just 15 MORE DAYS!! It's gonna be fast! just buried my arse at home will do the job! =)

Well TO test is on friday... so sad! I rather have more trading lessons to make up for the test!!

Okies... It's a darn hot weather!! Gonna take shower!!

Ciaoz!

ok I think I eat a little too much! I had a stomach upset!! =)

Oh man! I'm totally tired and drained after filling in those non-stop application forms for uni...

So many stuff to fill in! Totally irritating!!

ugh. I just hope I can get into the education course. Or else I'm gonna die cause I have NO back-up plan! Seesh.

Oh I called ntu to get my reference no. I just think those people are just so rude!! Screw them man! What kind of attitude is that! And can't they speak properly! stupid people.

Anyways had CSB test today, was ok.

ok. I'm blank now!

Relief Teacher Online Checking of Status

You have been given the provisional approval for your application to register as a relief teacher. Schools will be allowed to employ you during this interim period. Please bring along all your original education certificates, transcripts and necessary identification document to your first employing school for the purpose of verification. Schools will not be allowed to employ you if your particulars are not verified. For the final status of your application, you may access this option in one month's time to check. Thank you.

It's not finalised yet!

After a month, not bad! just in time.

Now what am I left with. Oh! the English Proficiency Test! Have that to apply! Gesh! Can I stop man! It's just so much hassle.

Ok I shall stop right here... A little rest before tuition starts!

Yes! ugh.

And oh ya! I've been eating like some hungry cow nowadays!! I get hungru easily! Talk about that I'm hungry now! I had breakfast at 10.30am. When CSB was over that was about 1+, I was already hungry! And I ate lots of lunch! A plate of honeydew, salad and long john silver! Then I shitted! Now I'm hungry!

The rate I'm eating scares people! ha...

Ok I forgot to blog about this god-damn-cool place i went the other day when I was out with Cia, sulian and Tramy.

Cia brought us to this really nice, quiet bar cum restaurant with spolit cd played and after that played music that is in a language that is totally stranger to us... But the ambience is good! Good place to slack and for lovers to cuddle together...

I can't remember what's the name of that bar but I thought of working there.

oh and I applied for relief teaching already and also uni... i just hope I'm able to get into uni and i have to register with MOE and also take EPT(English Proficiency test! And only people that score B3 and above are exempted from it! And I got a bloody B4!! Damn!! So the whole oral and language thing is coming again!

Ok so I'm graduating in like 3 weeks time! If I can get the relief teaching... That would be fantastic! And Tutoring plus the bar job! Oh my!! haha... should I go apply for that bar job waitress thingy?!

I know it would be hell tiring. But i don't know but I think I need the money... well not really... Not hard up for money!

Ugh. I don't know! I know it just sounds absurd and total madness! I'll consider but i'm serious!

new blogskin

ok I'm settling with this blogskin now...

Anyways I wanted to study but I'm dead tired. and I just realise I have not photo blog for a long long time! i'm just lazy la... that's why. Now... I've also forgot my username and password for photobucket... ha...

Password and username are never a thing for me... I keep forgetting them. STM.

For now...


I saw an old friend of ours today,
She asked about you,
I didn't quite know what to say;
Heard you've been makin' the rounds 'round here
While I've been tryin' to make tears disappear.

CHORUS:
Now I'm almost over you,
I've almost shook these blues;
So when you come back around
After paintin' the town
You'll see I'm almost over you.

You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart,
Maybe leavin' came easy but it tore me apart;
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know
'Cause it seems like forever but I'm lettin' you go.

CHORUS:
Now I'm almost over you,
I've almost shook these blues;
So when you come back around
After paintin' the town
You'll see I'm almost over you.

I can forgive you and soon I'll forget
All my shattered dreams;
Although you left me with nothing to show
All of misery.

CHORUS:
Now I'm almost over you,
I've almost shook these blues;
So when you come back around
After paintin' the town
You'll see I'm almost over you.

When you come back around
After paintin' the town
You'll see I'm almost over you

finally it's the last day of school! Wohoho!! this is soso good! haha...

Went for PM tutorial! Surprisingly! But well I feel good!

Anyways went shopping yesterday, saw this black formal top from Espirit! I love it! ok! BUT!! I didn't buy it! I said I won't buy it would really mean I won't buy!!

So audrey! U will not get your treat! And it seems like you don't know me well! =)

Exams are coming and I saved the fastest and most during this period! So forget about the treat and be my witness to see how I succeed!

ok I'm tired! ciaoz...

ATTENTION!! GOOD NEWS!!

ATTENTION PEEPS!I've good news for u guys!!

Here's a chance for you to win a free lunch! Just simply do your job well! ;)

I need you guys to be my witness for my SELF-CONTROL CAMPAIGN!!! I've been shopping like mad and I'm running low on vitamin M!! This is sooooo bad!! It's so embrassing! won't talk about it!! Things are just getting outrageous!

BUT! I, Jocelynlee shang ying, promised that I won't shop from tomorrow the 9/2/2006 TO 2/3/2006!! And if I break my promise, I'll treat you peeps! And I'll promise to tell the truth! I won't lie! I'm the last person! So don't worry! Jocelyn is a honest and good girl!!

All you peeps should be my witness and help me out with this therapy!! So DON'T LURE ME INTO TRAP!! I'll SMACK YOUR HEAD!!

THANK YOU!!!

Oh god! I'm losing my patience studying for FM test tml! It's way lots of stuff and I'm not really getting it into my head but reading thru!

100mcq 100 mins! Ugh. It totally just drag man!

And I can't study till it's like late night! So i'm still thinking If I should go for CSB tml! It's just hell lots of crap la! Ridiculous man!

Wrong course!? I'm beginning to wonder! well! I've know it! That's the reason for not taking business when I enter uni! It just sucks! ugh.

I need a break!

well I had to settle with this blogskin... I can't find anything nicer! I like the bllack background! I found one but it screwed up so I'll just used this!

But I don't feel abandoned Or any of the kind of feeling like tat! I'm still going on fine!

Anyways sunday was rather ok the only bad thing was that I couldn't shit the whole day! but now it's alright already cause I just shitted!!

After churh, headed to cityhall for lunch! had a good lunch at magic wok! And so I was standing opposite Robinsons! And it says! "FINAL REDUCTION! 70%! ENDING SOON!"

so I guess you guys know being the usual me, what I did!

I walked in and was looking at bags! I saw this bag that I liked! And I walked around and went back! I didn't no whether to buy or not? Since when in doubt, just buy! That's my logic!

So the smart me came out with something.

I shall asked for a new piece, if there is I will buy! So I asked!

And I shamelessly took the new piece, paid for it at the counter and walked out of robinsons to take a bus home!

Why shamelessly!? cause i'm saving money for laptop! And I have to save $512 by thursday or the order would be cancelled automatically! Till date I have only $414!

Oh man! Wat a bitch!

That's no school tml!! Hurray! Tat means I can sleep more!! But I would need to start studying for PM! 100 mcqs, 100mins! how good can tat be!

we were good! simple as this line is but it sends people up to heaven! brighten up your day! and leave you smiling non-stop! =)

today was out final presentation for BD! Major one!! There were lots people in SB to assess us! and we told the wrong timing and ended up reaching 2 hours before our presenation! But well it gave us sufficient time to prepare! Rehearse through!

Nervousness was not with me at all! =)

And after the presentation, one of them said " I like this group!"

heard that! oh my! ok! i'm sorry! we are just happy!

I thought I was doing well! I was great! Yes I was confident! so? BC low was impressed cause I was always so quiet in his class!

And we won't bombarded with lots of questions! And it just ended in less than an hour! haha... can u imagine a year of work it ended just within an hour!

To think berbard was so worried for our group! well we were the slackest group! always taking our own sweet time! ha... good grave!

anyways! It's just a happy day today!

Ciaoz peeps!

ok so SB night was yesterday! how was it?

well there were more people at the food court as compared to the audience! =D

ya so all of us basically treat it as a rehearsal! Was rather nervous when the curtains open but after that it was ok... Sang "zombie" and "speedy gonzales"!! wasn't confident for love song! so I had to have last minute changes! =)

and guess what we had an encore!! but only one member represented EarLobe!!! haha... they played "That thing you do"! Jo and I was like screaming below the stage!!

"EARLOBE! EARLOBE!!!" WHOOO!!!! haha...

who cares who plays! So long as people remember EarLobe!! haha.. =D

I'm smelling something good!

Oh! oh!! There was this other cute guy from another band! He's quite fat! with the charisma! haha... And he plays the DRUMS!! Drummers are devoted pple! haha...

yaya... I'm going crazy over a guy I see for only 5 mins! He's only an eye candy! I won't get to see him much in SB la!

And moreover! My new year resolution is not just bullshitting! It's for real! haha...

Well! It's already feb! fast! So far Jan has been a good month for me! good start! and feb is gonna smell good too! cause GRADUATION is NEARING!!! =D

A new start soon! new adventure!

and ya! Valentine's day is COMING!! Hope all you peeps has already found your valentine!! ;D

Supposed to be preparing a speech for my FINAL presentation tml! But! I've been looking for blogskins and can't find nice ones! Wanna start soon but I'm a little sleepy now! So think I'll just go take a nap first!!

ugh! Holy crap! I'm sick again! down with flu!!! I have not fall sick so many times within less than 1/2 a year!! What's wrong man!!

And it started happening after I exercise!! Probably I must keep exercising and not stop! Once I stop I will fall sick! Crap!

Projects, tests and performance are just taking up my time!

I seriously need a god damn swim!