Insanity

It's been hell of a week for me.

And my emotions sets in to make things worse and on top of that work has to join in the fun. I find it quite hard to deal with my emotions nowadays especially with him around me. And he always has to face with my different emotions. And it's anger and impatience most of the time. He tried hard to cheer me up. I appreciate it.

Just finished a test on tues and it was the week of our individual simulation game. It's terror seriously. Am so tired running my last lap and I'm giving every last bit of my strength for this sem. Retail test is next sat. It's no time for resting. The run has to continue on. And after that it continues on with presentation and project submission. 2 more months... the race will end.

The study race is ending soon but when will work race end? When will my race in this place end, I'm thinking. 21 july would be my 3rd year here. I look back and wonder... how many times did I thought of leaving this place so badly? Countless... And now it's back again... Quite determine this time round. Even more determine to realise my dream. But I need money.

But I can't wait and I hate it here! I drag everyday again. What can I do?

Quite after studies? I need to think it through.

But I need to breathe....

Have you ever notice yourself scratching when you feel stressed up? And probably just feel better after it?

Well I was in the lift this morning up to the office on the 26 floor. In our building, every lift has a mini tv that broadcast news from Reuters. And I happen to chance upon this depsite having so many heads in front of me, I thought it was rather interesting and true to a certain extent. Here it goes.

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Oh, it brings such blessed relief and now scientists can tell you why -- scratching an itch temporarily shuts off areas in the brain linked with unpleasant feelings and memories.

I recalled the times when I did scratch my head when there isn't an actual itch. The chances of it is... 8 out of 10. so the next time round... scratch! :0)

My colleague forward an email about Zodiac sign yesterday and I went to checked it out. And it's pretty accurate about libra woman.

LIBRA WOMAN
Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look younger than her age.

She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman. She looks nice in either Jean or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far behind. She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated in any games she plays with you even she is winning.

She is a little flirt even she has no idea what she wants. She can not decide what to do, and what not to do, so she can not set her schedule very well in all cases. She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.

In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she can tell which party will win the election.

She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself. She can not decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people ,or what you feel as much as her own feeling.

She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.

Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for you.

She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks and may loose you (let you win) in a few poker games.

If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!

Free day

It's a free day. I would said it is 'cause I had time for myself. I've been so caught with all the busyness in my life that I've already forgotten that I need time for myself. To stop and reflect. Sundays would be tuition. The little time that I can squeeze out is occupied as well.

But it's different today. After spending some time in church, preparing for good friday, I headed to orchard. I was still early and buying time. I walked from city hall to PS. A short walk but probably enjoyable. And i realized I've missed out so much. Letting the things around me just passed? How the traffic lights are being placed for pedestrians to cross. It sounds lame and not necessary to mention that, but I really never take notice how the traffic lights were despite walking past that area so many times when my school was still there.

With my cup of green tea frappucino, I chilled out alone @ PS starbucks waiting for time to pass. Was there to catch Arvin's gig with SMU. I would said it's 1 hour well spent, least I got some notes into my head for portfolio mgmt. An hour plus of waiting for just a 10mins gig. But oh well it's not too bad.

And right after his performace, we decided to give weiloong a 'visit'. More like surpirse. T'was the changing of guard parade at Istana. It's rather interesting. Hmm... maybe it's fun. I remember how I always drag it when I see them parade, 'cause their nothing but hazards on the road causing traffic jams. Delaying my time home. But today I finally understand why. It's fun to just walk down with the soldiers marching and the band. And watch a mini show outside the Istana. Many people were just walking down with them, taking photos and videos of them.

Anyways good job weiloong! :0)

Joined him @ Clementi for dinner with his family and relatives. I just love being with them. It's so much fun. And easy to communicate. oh yea... It's really sweet of his aunt to get me a ring on her holiday trip. Lovely ring. Love it. Gonna wear it tml.

That's it for today. Doesn't seem much but I felt that I had time for myself. It's 1.37am. Weekends always pass so fast. Luckily it's a 4 day work week.

Alright! Bed is calling!

Ciaoz!

it has been madness since I came back from Sabah. Everything didn't seem to work well at all.

Results was out on the day when I flew to Sabah. And I checked it at the airport free internet services provided. Didn't do well and I had to take a supp. paper for corporate finance. So guess how much I enjoyed my trip. It's probably just that little bit.

Things were just horrible when I came back. I had allergy spots on my feet and hands. Apparently I was bitten by some sea organisms and allergic to it. And then 2 days later I was down with urine infection.

And the best part of everything, he left for Ipoh with his family and I was left alone at his place to look after 3 guinea pigs, 2 hamsters,fishes and plants. Since when I became a gardener or farmer. It was really bad. Practically devasted. Crying was my only way of releasing out my stressed up mood. And I didn't understand why he could just leave me here alone.

I just wanted to quit school. It's really draining. Work and study. But it's my last sem. I can't just give up.

And I thought that I would feel so much better after he's back. I did feel slightly better but I didn't exactly feel better. I still had many issues to deal with. The problem lies with me. I realised that I had to let it go. I had to look at things positively. Feelings goes with thoughts. That's true.

If I didn't had to take supp. paper this time round, I don't think I'll be that motivated this sem. It's really a wake up call. I screwed up one sem. Not this last sem anymore.

Things are getting better. And I'm standing strong again.

Nothing is gonna beat me down!