Finally!!

I finally found the sentence to describe what I've blog yesterday!!!

What's life?! Life is just a BITCH!!!

You can't but have to admit that I'm right... haha... ok probably not... It depends on you...

Band prac was rather ok today... Not too bad!! Oh!! Aunty Rose, my auntie's boss, bought durian cake for me!! Just for me!!! My auntie didn't get it!! haha... She just loves me!!! ;)

Lessons start at 8 tml... Darn! I'm not able to wake up man!! Wanted to do my CF tutorial but I'm too tired.... And It's simply too comfortable at home to do anything!!

SO!! I'm just gonna watch TV and lie on my bed!!

what did they say about fun and exciting poly life, it's the funniest period of your student life... IT'S JUST PURE SHIT!! CRAP!!! NONSENSE!!!

My poly life isn't fun at all!! I think it sucks... to the core! It's like one of the worse period of time in my life... And it never seems to get better... The amount of tears I shed since I enter SP was more than those I shed since the day I was sensible...

Everything just totally sucks... I'm beginning to hate my poly life and I really want it to end... Ok! Except for percussion! I seemed to be going to school for that reason, not for lesson... I drag going to school for lesson... If it won't for the attendance and money that I paid, I seriously won't be bothered to go back there...

Things and people are changing so fast and it's really scary... I know that people always change but!! It's far too much!! Why has it become like tat... I'm rather upset about the changes... But there's nothing much I can't do coz it's beyond my ability to change anything... So I'll just live my own life...

Anyways it's monday... So yup monday blues... I'm feelin abit unstable today... happy, angry, high, sad... Whatever it is... So long as my day ended happy!! Which it did!! Had rehearsal for the performance on Sunday... Hmm... It's at Zouk... Weird eh! It's in the afternoon... But I enjoy big time!! :)

It was a even better day yesterday... SHOPPING SPREE!!! YEAH!!! haha... Bought a number of stuff!! man! A pair of sandals($16), a skirt ($15) and a green t-shirt ($10)... Oh ya Giordano was having sales too... Bought a pair of 3/4 pants at $30 when it cost $43 at first... And a top for 1$13.10 which cost $19.00 at first... Hmm!! Satisfied!! :D

And now the problem is! I've 3 bags of new clothes that are yet to be washed!! I've a big laundry problem and I can never get enough of shopping!! I've a habit to not wash my new clothes once I reach home... I'll just leave them on my table and leaving it to tml... But the tml never seems to come!! I can leave them for days, weeks or even months!!! There was this once that I left my new skirts for abt 6 mths in the cupboard before washing them to wear it... :)

And this habit never seems to be able to leave me... And I'll also end up with lots of clothes to wash...

Hmm... Can't wait for the next shopping day!! I wanna buy more accessories and bags!!! haha... Though I have about 65 bags and more than 100 over accessories!!

Ok till then!! It's another school day tml!! BUT!! there's band tml!! haha...

OK! I woke up late today! As usual or not surprising at all like what Jerm says... School starts at 9 and I woke up at 9!! :D

Yes how wonderful... And I missed my first lecture... God! When am I gonna change this bad habit of mine... Lazing on my bed when it's time for school!!!

And the first lesson of the day was FO (Futures & Options)!! Right!! What a lesson to start the day with!! If you are freaking sleepy or bored!! This is the lesson to attend!!! It will wake you up instant... Coz lots of attention is needed and you really have to be fast!! And I mean real fast!!

For the first half we had some self practice among ouselves... like bid, offer, buy and sell... Buy low, sell high... Argh!! Really confusing! But thank God! I manage to learn it quite fast but it still takes time...

Then we had the whole class standing at the trading pit... Each of us was given a piece of paper to record down our buy and sell so at the end when the "market" closed... We'll see how much profit or loss we made...

And missing the first lesson! I felt so lost... holding on to the paper and didn't know what to do... when some of my classmates started shouting "1 at 90" or "85 on 1".... I'm still like 0_0

Thank God! Cia was standing beside me to guide me!! Thanx Cia!! Appreciate it!

I was standing there still trying to figure out what's going and realising that my paper is still empty... I started to worry! I didn't want my paper to be empty!! So I just started offering! And there you go! My first trade was with Hanyong, then Sir, Xiao hui and so on... And I made a profit of 62 blurly!!! I just kept buying and only sold once... Didn't really know what's going on but who cares! So long as I made a profit!! But gotta get it clear!!

Rather interesting lesson... But almost got a heart attack becoz of my lecturer!! Besides good views and judgement, be quick and fast!! You need to have a loud voice!!! You have to be a lion!! NOT A MOUSE!!! Imagine the real trading pit?! Who the hell will trade like how we did today... But well when we graduate from SP, there's no more open outcry... sad! :(

Had lessons from 11-3 straight... Kind of tired... But still it didn't stop me from going to band!! haha...

Band prac was ok... Did "Carmen Fantasy" and some other pieces... Didn't play much coz of my hand... I have to had it bandage up so that I can't feel the pain... and at the same time to remind myself that my hand is injured...

There are still lots of things that I've yet to settle... So it's time for reflection.... Till then!

Finally done with my new blogskin... put some photos up... More to come but I'm just lazy to do it now...

Me & My first love...

Photos for DAP2

Performers & Helpers together with Mr Tan & Ms Hope!!

Sharon & I

Me & My babe, Venassa!!

Me & My baby girl, Joanne!

The Percussion Ladies!! Ain't we just lovely!

Cindy Cai & I!! :P

Hugging like we've known each other for a long long time... (only know her that night of the concert) :)

So who says it takes a long long time to be close?!

Me & Faezah

Me and My sister, Ivan!

Me + my honey bee, PRISCA!!!

Ivy & I

Me & My les partner, Alicia!! I still love you as much as before!!

Thanx for coming peeps!!

I'm feeling emotional... that's all... about what? If you know me well, I appear transparent before you when you are reading this... If you don't, I won't even come into your mind cause it's filled with question marks...

the days are passing by qucikly... so fast that I can't catch up... things that happen yesterday has become part of my memory today...

And today I just realise that I'm still where I used to be... I thought I was following the days up ahead but I'm proven wrong... I'm proven wrong by what is going on my mind!! I prove myself wrong! I lost to myself!!! Darn!

So I have been running away... Or rather I don't wanna face it yet... Sometimes I really hope that my schedule would be like the past few weeks... Where I really get myself exhausted... Really tired out that I can think of no shit...

Ok! I forgot that it was father's day... Seriously! Not till vivian told me... And I'm feeling guilty... though in my family we don't usually celebrate... But I'm here to change it!

So I intend to make it up to my dad tml by giving him a treat and my mum too... So not tuition tml yet...

Just finished packing up the clothes that have been piling up for the past few weeks... But still my room is still messy but I'm just too tired to pack...

I'm tired... Not just physically... Mentally too... I need URBAN ESCAPE!!! I seriously need to get away from this place...

you never knew how I felt and till now I guess you don't know what's the feeling like... maybe you have not experience it but it's more than what I can bear... Each time I'm through a tiring period, I think of you... And the person I want to see the most is you... When I'm happy I wanna share with you... When I'm sad I wanna go to you... But I'm only left to imagine...

Finally! DAP2 has come to an end... It was a successful concert... Everything went smoothly! Nothing went wrong between the concert... From the video to the lightings... Everything went on just fine... And it was the greatest comfort for me after the past few weeks of planning and organising...

I Thank God for the wisdom and strength that He had given me... Or else things would not have go on well... It was tough handling both work and practices... And it caused my acne to got worse coz of insufficent rest... And now I've missed the first week of school... Lots of catching up to do as I'm really behind my classmates...

Alan, muru, Charlton and Venassa... Hope you guys like the photo frame that we did for you... We came down really early on friday just to do that... And hope you like the surprise video which we had a hard time getting all four of us together to do it...

All our efforts paid off yesterday night... Though there were mistakes here and there... but overall it's good... Had really good feedbacks from the floor... Especially from Ms Hope, Mr & Mrs Goh and Mrs Vera... They really enjoyed themselves! And for once they wasn't any bad comments back from Ms Hope... :D

Thanx everybody for making the concert a successful one... You guys were great!!

My camermans - Weiliang & Poh wah, My lightsmen - Zai, Kyle, Bernard and Xiao bai, My MCs - Xiao Bih & Daniel, my ticketing booth girls - Stella & Rebecca, My ushers - Jiawei, Yimei, Ivy & Kay Miang and my backstage crew - Christopher, Candice, Edmund, Denis, Shirley and Doreen.

THANX PEOPLE!! you guys were wonderful helpers!!

And also not forgetting Xiao Bih, Ayub and Cindy Cai!! helping us out in this concert...

Hope I didn't miss out anyone.. If I did, I'm sorry.. Scold me for all you want!

"Concert is over, Jocelyn. It's time to take a rest for your hand."

Yup, that's the first sentence to me when the concert was over... And I really need one... The pain is coming back and I can hardly bend my hands! So I have to stop playing for a month plus... Sianz...

Went to see Dr Eu just now regarding my acne... It's not really getting better...It's still red and inflame... And I finally know what is my problem! I'm too busy!! Too busy that I'm not resting well...

Though the concert is over, my busy schedule doesn't just stop here... It's time that I go back to my tutor position... Had to stop all tuition for 3 weeks becoz of this concert... So lots of catching up to do for them... All 3 of them are having their PSLE this year... And on top of that it's my final year and there's FYP... And I still have to catch up for all my modules... I really don't know if I can handle this... From Mon to Sat it's all taken up... No rest and coming home early...

And here's where stress takes over... I'm still high on drugs... So guess it's gonna take some time...

I've only attended 5 hours of lessons this week... And I'm not sure if I'm ready for this week which I'm gonna spend more hours attending lessons... Whether I'm ready or not? Has been the question today... I'm not sure either... Lots of thoughts running though my mind and I still feel the same as before...

Prentence? I'm sick of it already....

De Avanganda Percussians 2!!!

As the clock is ticking... The big moment is approaching...

Just 19 more hours!! The SP percussion group would shake the whole SP!!! hahaha... Just kidding! De Avanganda Percussians 2 is going make the SP auditorium happening!!!

All our hardwork will be seen tml... And I'm sort of happy that it's coming to an end soon... It's been taking up most of my time... It's the first week of school for me but it seems like school hasn't really start for me yet... From mon to thurs... I have only attended like 5 hours of lessons? Yes... this whole week... And tml I'm gonna miss lessons again... well, a price have to be paid... After this, it's time to be a hardworking student again...

Whether my efforts are wasted or not, depends on the success of tml's concert...

And I really hope everything would go on just fine... And smooth...

Gotta finished packing my stuff and turn in early... It's a long day tml!

Honesty...

Ok the week was totally sucky... Serious! I was looking forward for ITP to be over... Yes now it's over... But my heart still feels heavy...

I'm really bothered by alot of things and I really don't know who to turn to... Or get the right answer from... Or the comfort... I'm really stressed up...

I really wanna give up the position as the SL... I used to look forward to it but it seems that I'm proven that I'm not capable of anything... I just screw things up...

And as close friends, ain't we suppose to be honest with each other? Then why is it like that?

Venassa I know that entry is for me... I knew that you will pissed with me once I saw your msn nick... I didn't knew about that entry till I found out from someone... It doesn't matters who... But why can't you just come to me and tell me... When I read that entry I was pissed and even more upset... And that proves to me further that I'm incapable of being the SL... and why is it that you didn't bother to find out from me and assume?

you won't the only one that didn't turn up that day... And the overnight practice was only decided on the night when I msg you guys... Yes it was vocied out few months ago but we had MD to deal with... we had exams... And we did increase the number of practices after that didn't we?


I send that msg out coz I was really worried about ticket sales and putting up a good performance... isn't that what as a section leader I'm suppose to do? Even as a member...

I don't know why you will think in that way... But it seems like you don't even give me a chance to explain anything.... when it's not the truth...

And it seems like I'm the bitch to everybody... I don't wanna carry on... That entry really demoralise me alot... I'm pissed when I read it but the pain that is given is much more than that...

I don't want things to turn out the way it did with your other friends... when we had just started to builg a closer relationship...

Last day of ITP

Well! ITP IS OFFICIALLY OVER!! FINALLY!!! A long wait! Just can't bear to leave coz of the people there... Gonna miss them!

Took photos with some of them and I've got pressies from my colleagues too! hehe... it adds on to my accessories collection! :D

Ohya!! Andrew!! I totally agree with you!! And I really do! He's crap... I talk to him today... He's just crap... I'm so glad it's the last day... It's just terrible! AH!

I'm so freaking tired... I wanted to take a break during the weekend before school starts but here's comes the camp that screws everything up! DARNZ!

It's just so tight up inside me and I feel like breaking down...

Right! I'm just wanna hide myself at one corner now...

my last time?

RIGHT!!! It's 10 more days to the concert and now SHIT HAPPENS!!! YES!! NOW! Right at this crucial time!!! Darnz...

My ligament is swollen and so are my tissues ( I think that's what the doc said)... Overall, it's joint sprain! And I told him I'm in percussion and he said he will give me medicine which will take a week to recover... He told me to rest too!! probably A MONTH!!! YES A MONTH!!! When my concert is just NEXT WEEK!!! Which I can't!!!

Why does it have to happen at this time?! What am I to do? Take a break then what am I to do about my parts... If I don't it might get worse...

Well I've decided to play for the concert and only take a rest after the concert... Just hope that it's not my last concert....

For now till next week, I'll just pray hard that everything will go just fine... And that God will watch over me... I realise how vulnerable humans are...

why is it when things are just getting better for me... Shit has to happen... It's always like that... Always the case... I'll Just try to pull through this period first...

Doubt

Since morning, I had this not so good feeling...I was feeling restless and it's as if I've got up from the wrong side of the bed...

I don't know what's with me... And I'm beginning to doubt myself... Shit just happens sometimes...

Things just won't going on well... I don't know how to say how I feel and I didn't feel like telling anyone what's bothering me... I'm sorry peeps! Esp Shunli and Andrew... Sorry for the gangster face in the office... Didn't mean it... But thanx for asking... :D

Anyways collected my wallet at Raffles city Esprit which I reserved yesterday... Finally bought it after considering for like 6 months... That's me! Hmm... Since like there's lots of things which I wanted to do since last year and fulfil them because of ITP... :D

Finally got my second ear hole! Which I thought for more than a year.... Coz I'm scared of pain... it was a sudden decision that shocked quite a number of people... And with some of their "Finally"! The reason given is because I was so stressed over work... And at that moment I really wanted to pierce them... But all thanx to the stress, if not I won't have my second ear hole.. :D

okie dokie... My bed it calling me! Need some rest... And there's sectionals tml...

Let's not talk about work... coz it's just the same everyday... talk about what I did after work today!! I did something different!! Finally... Not sectionals, not band and definitely not tuition!

I went shopping!! haha... After work, headed to "Golden Shoe" with Shunli for dinner... and headed to Bugis to get a gift... It's my last time seeing Asiah tml coz she's going on leave before my last week of ITP... Man! I'm gonna miss her! Wrote her a card and after walking around finally got her a pressie! :D

Hope i won't cry tml after passing it to her... Finally bought a wallet! From Espirit... Well I had it reserved at Raffles City coz it's the last piece at Bugis... Finally bought it! After looking around for about a year!

Anyways took a train home from Bugis and I was observing people on the train and realise that what people can do to just get a seat... I boarded the train at Bugis and got a seat for myself... I first saw a seat that was dirty and so I sat next to it... It's a normal reaction... As I was sitting there, I notice that lots of people headed to that empty seat but once they see that it was dirty... They just looked away...

then came this lady... She walked towards and when she saw it was dirty... As usual normal people reaction... thought that she would just remain standing... But she took out a tissue clean that thing away... But it was kind of sticky and it's difficult to remove... And guess what she did... she open up her tissue and cover that part and got her seat... :) smart eh!

The next stop the seat beside her was empty... So! Of coz she moved! And took her tissue up... Then came a guy with formal wear... He saw it too... Hesitate for awhile and he sat down... but he only had 1/4 of his butt on it... And he continue reading his newspaper... And his next action, just couldn't make me stop laughing... He was reading Business times... And after finishing the first page... He took it out... fold it into four and put it under his butt... And there you go he got his seat...

Haha... really can't imagine the different kinds of ideas people come up with... It's rather interesting... Don't know why I just can't stop smiling when I see them doing this...

And you know what! The next smart step is... When the person next to you alights, you move to the seat and see what smart ideas can the next person come up with... If I had not alight at Tiong Bahru... I might see even more different kinds of ideas...

Probably you guys can try that... Provided the seat is dirty... And see how interesting humans are...

For now! It's bedtime!!

a wonderful but yet not so wonderful day...

I manage to rest well today... Slept till abt 12... Headed to see a doc, then went to school for sectionals...

Ok... Things didn't go well as I thought it would... Shit happens! But well I'm just gonna pray hard... And hope everything goes on just fine...

I'm a mouse...

I'm so freaking tired!! I wanna sleep! But i just took my dinner! Darnz! Am gonna put on weight like tat and it's bad for health!

Ok... It's the first band prac today and we have four year ones with us... 3 guys and a girl... Hmm... shan't comment here about them... Just keep my views to myself... And it's the first day that I'm officially the SL but I'm not ready... I felt kind of confused and in a whirl... I realise that I have lots more to learn as a SL... And I'm thinking once again... I'm tying hard to take that thinking away but it's hard...

Well it's only the first day! I believe I can do it... Hopefully!

Band prac was... HORRIBLE! The worst I ever heard I guess... It was terrible... well it's the first prac and we are side reading some pieces... So don't expect much...

And ya I'm a mouse... Just like it, I walk away quietly and disappear... I don't have the guts to face it! I'm still not brave enough or strong enough... All I did was to hide... My heart is longing for it... But I don't know what to do... If I had went up, what will happen? Will we say hi? Or even exchange a smile?

This is stupid man... It's not an issue, never was it... Probably it's just me...