I don't wanna try so hard. but it seems like I don't even have to put in much effort to try hard at all. it's effortless. people just proves me right over and over again, so what else do you want me to believe in?

cut the crap and save those encouragement and advise! it's never gonna work for me anymore! Don't say too much to me! you are just wasting your time!

I would only once again believe if I see it! Prove me wrong! and I would believe! If not just save the time for other things! if not I would just be that disappointed biatch!

sometimes I really hate you! But sometimes I'm not sure if I should! what the hell la!

anyways happy chinese new year peeps! probably not very happy... but hope you guys got lots of ang baos!

Well since it's chinese new year... it's chinese new year entry...

New year eve was not that good. well save the bad! It's not very good! after reunion dinner mailina and we 3 sisters headed to chinatown to SQUEEZE with pple! Though it was crowded, it was fun! better than last year! I bought lots of stuff! Food! accessories! UGH! Crap! We were like darn tired man! Squeezing for 2-3 hrs! But fulfilling! So who cares!

First day of new year was a sunday so headed to church first before going to my uncle's place! Now here's the best part!! ANG BAOS!! That's what we look forward to!!
Kind of good to catch up with my aunts, uncles and cousins! Man! We have all grown up!! To think we were still kids that time playing games like hide-and-seek,catching and power rangers! haha... memories! my youngest cousin is already primary 3 or 4 i think! We crap lots and took pictures!

There was this really cute boy there... Called sean! I will upload his pic when I can cause my com has no service pack so nokia PC suite can't be install! Darn! He eats non-stop! peanuts! Kids are just cute! And I would even be more sure that I want to be a primary school teacher! =)

After my uncle's place we headed to my grandma's place! Which all of us drag ourselves there! I only get to see them like once a year?! that's cool! I mean I'm not even close to them and some things happen between my mum and grandma. So we went cause we had to la. Stayed there for only like 45 mins? and we are off to orchard! =)

Orchard was dead! for once! Real dead! No shops were open! I mean PS! Quiet!? It just didn't have the connection there! we headed mailina, my 2 sisters and I went to Swenses for dinner before catching "I not stupid too" and while waiting for my cousins to come! =)

and we had this whole conversation of guys, past experience and expectations of a guy! And they say I have high expectations! They said so! Well I think my expectation of a guy is just realistic.

He has to give me a very stable look with his outer appreance. Decent and smart looking, good sense of dressing, tall and good looking! I mean comfortable to my eyes! Now now... people has different definition of good looking and comfortable to eyes. So I can't explain how exactly good looking can be. For a matter of fact, he has to have a good career. And very financially stable! But I will have my own career to spend my own money and not his. Being financially stable gives me security and I know I can depend on him. He will have to know how to save cause I save fast but spend faster. Saves lots but not stingy! Knowing how to give is just beautiful.

Very motivated and devoted to things he does. He doesn't necessarily need to have a car but preferably. But sometimes mrt, bus and walk would be romantic too! He would have to know how to do household chores so he can share the load with me, able to cook so we can do it together.

And ya... I have finger fettish! I like only manly fingers. =) I know it sounds absurd but ya it's one of the expectation. I don't mind fat guys but you need to look good to be fat! get the idea? you need to be charming and have the charisma. There are fat guys with just that.

He has gotta be a devoted christian cause I'm not that holy after all. And now comes the necessary things. He has to be caring, loving and dote on me. He has got to like kids too. And be able to spend time with me despite his busy schedule. And he has gotta let me work! cause LADIES!! Don't live off your husband's money! Have your own money! I mean who knows what he will do to me one day!? But I hope not! And he better NOT!

And ya! He has to work out!! EXERCISE!! So i'll be motivated to do so!

Ok for now I think that's all. I can't think of anything else for now.

so first day of chinese new year was that. I not stupid too was quite ok. typically singaporeans. Everything about it is just so true! I'm not gonna be a parent like that. =)

Suposed to head home but well it's chinese new year! So headed to "Rive Hongbao" with my cousins, aunts and uncles! It was unplanned! But it was dead boring there! nth much! Probably everybody was tired.

And that was day one! Spent just like that.

We were all dead beat once we reached home! I slept through the night! It was good sleep man! I just slept and slept! So deeply and sound! it's been so long! So day two I woke up real late! Slack at home till 4+ before heading to town with the intention to shop but well all shops were closed! so mailina, meichan n I went to galilee & friends to chill! Superb place!! Since valentine's day is coming! Bring your date there! Good ambience! food not bad! Price is reasonabe too! Portion big! And we ended ktv-ing!

And now that was day two!! Fast huh! And it means! holidays is coming to an end soon! And soon exams! then graduate!! Woohoo!!!

anyways it's the third day of new year! and I'm staying home to do project!!

So i'm done with blogging everything I wanna say! And that's it for today!

ciaoz peeps!

4 years... time past just like that...

It's my grandma death anniversary today... Well paid my respect last week... I missed her badly... her presence seems to be still around! Ok not meant to be ghostly...

It might be my last year to be able to pay respect cause after that my uncle might decide to throw her ushes in the sea... and I don't want that!! It's so sad!! I wanna buy flowers! Different kind of flowers for her every year!

Nobody can go tell him what to do... I guess he has the final say...

finally after 5 hours of packing! Or rather spring cleaning!! The room is neat and tidy!! Dust-free!! The sense of satisfaction is cool! hehe...

Well my stuffs are packed just left with the clothes part! I need to wash all my new clothes! 3 bas full! shit man! I'm just gonna die!!

And i've got new bedsheet!! My bed is too colourful now!

hehe... but well it brightens my day up!!

Okies! I need to slp now!!

Ok this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO irritating!! I've been trying to sleep the whole morning and I've been receiving calls! non-stop!! You know how much i loathe that!!

I dislike people disturbing my sleep man! And they just keep coming since morning 7+!! Oh drag! Why can't they just let me sleep peacefully?! Since u called my sister just confirm with them la!! Why must it always be me?! BASKET!!

And now I'm not having enough sleep! Damn it!!!

There are so many things to do today! Well at least for me cause it's so not organised!! UGH!! I hate my days to be not organised!!

The concert is tml already!! GOSH!!!

Thought that I would be free after tml?! Nah I doubt so! I thought so too! I had it planned out alr actually to start studying next week! But now EarLobe is performing for SB night!! COOL! haha... There are too many crappy bands! So they need good band!! Haha... WE ARE A GOOD BAND!! haha...

Ok!! Pardon me!

You know something... I think this whole bandedge thing has totally changed my life!It's a good change I would say! Interesting January for me! I think feb is gonna be as great too!! with EarLobe! =)

I know I'm supposed to be in school now... but well I couldn't wake up this morning plus the fact that I do not have an alarm clock to wait myself up! so ya... I slept through till my mum came back at 2.30pm... It's the time of the month so I'm just totally exhausted!

I'm still dead tired now but I've got band later! It's the last practice today!! OH MY GOD!! CAN U IMAGINE!!! SUNDAY IS MY LAST CONCERT ALREADY!! I have this feeling that it's gonna rain that night k! Oh shit!

it's always this kind of weather, this time of the month whereby I'm getting to feel emotional! And I'm missing the time whereby EarLobe stayed back in school till late nights to rehearse! though it was tired but the fun was there... I simply enjoyed myself! Not sure about the others but definitely for me!

Anyways went out with mum to buy new bed sheet for chinese new year!! haha... We decided like darn fast man! For the first time I decided so fast!! whaha... =)

I just love my new bedsheet just that the other set has no quilt cover! I'm gonna get a BRIGHT ORANGE quilt cover at Ikea! and that's if they have! I just think bedsheet sets should be in bright colours~!! it just brightens my day up!! hehe...

And I so like going out with my mum!! I've got myself a new bag!! wahha... Paid by mum!! haha... Should have stayed out a little longer ytd but! It rained so yeah.. we had to go home!

Finally bandedge is over!! The showcase was today and we were the first band to perform! Was rather or no! very nervous! I've never sang in front of so many people before! It's a big step for me man! But well I did it! I'm happy for myself! My 2006 resolution is fulfilled! I mean one of it! hehe...

We played "why can't I" by Liz phair, "Love song for a love song" by parking lot pimp, "zombie" by the cranberries and "speedy gonzales"!!

Good or bad?! we enjoyed! and I've got good comment from jo's friend that I was powerful! haha... "blushing"

You can never imagine the amount of time we spent just for today's showcase! We have been staying in the band room to rehearse almost to 11.40pm since monday... And I've not seen my parents for a couple of days! though it's like darn usual for that to happen! =)

SHUNLI, MEI and CIA!! Thanx for coming to support the bitch here!! haha... thank you so much! hope you guys enjoyed! and meimei! Thanx for the tag! hehe...

And also some band members who came! ya, thanx alot!

though I fumble at the front till zombie! haha...

But well it's a good experience! And EarLobe are not gonna disband! that's great! That means I have more opportunity of performing! And to say trufully I LOVE TO PERFORM! ;)

And I have fulfilled one of my resolution in 2006! To sing in front of others!

Just to look back for the past few days what I did...

Sat we stayed in school to prepare for river raft on sunday but we didn't sleep cause we jam through the night to sort out the chords for the songs! And guess what river raft was a bore! Not much of a fun this year though I screwed up my drumset big time!

Went for Ntu talk with cindy regarding the ntu teaching degree course! Rather cool! looking forward!

and it was shopping with my aunt at chinatown! but i hate it! cause there were too many pple there! irritating! Hate crowds man!

And next it was home and a hot bath! And I slept from 6+ to the next moring 12+... Bet that was a wonderful good sleep!

Monday skipped lecture and went for BD, and practice till 11+! Tues? after band prac it was still rehearsing for today!

That's why I'm so happy! And we performed twice!! haha.. that's cool!

Well overall I'm happy now!

and oh ya! I lost my phone! I'm not sad! ya y? I don't know! I'm just not sad! the only thing that I'm sad about is that my memory card is gone=all memories all gone!, my sally's head and my hp strap from hong kong!! Oh man! the thought of my sally's head being thrown into the dustbin PAINS MY HEART!!! *oUch*

Stab that person man!

But! I'm enjoying my phoneless days! CAUSE no phone = NO RESPONSIBILITIES!!

but my mum is darn eager to get a phone for me! And I'm not sure what phone to get! I wanna get W900i!! But it's damn ex la!! Probably I'll just get nokia 7370... it's nice too! then wait for w900i to drop then I'll trade in!!

probably I'll do just that! I'm just lazy to get a phone!

Now that bandedge is over! MD is coming!! Just 4 MORE DAYS!! OH MY GOD!! ISN'T THAT HORRIFYING!!! Esp! Ticket sales!!

hmm... well that's all for the moment i think! I waiting for my show!

Remember about the audition for the bandedge?

U bet we guys were like darn nervous! There were like so many PROS there! We were totally freak out but Thank God we were the second band! It was a nce exprience for all of us! Good exposure! Though we are buysing preparing for coming wednesday performance OUTSIDE THE SPORTS HALL!! YES WE ARE IN!!! HAHAHHA...

It was darn cool! We were totally shocked by the news! cause! ya! you know! First timer! pros?! it just didn't sounded right! Comments was we were tight, good sound, dynamics(duh! we are people from band! haha...) erm... can't rmb the last one! Oh but something we didn't have was showmanship! haha... we were too laid back! well! We though oh well just treat it as an experience cause too many good people there already! But well! we are gonna do our best for coming wednesday performance! We have to prepare a 20mins performance! and I'll be singing all the songs! man am i gonna die! I WANNS PLAY THE BASS!!! but well i can just sing alone... it's ok..

It's outside the sports hall!! Peeps! if you are my friend COME DOWN AND SUPPORT ME!! But if u deny so!! U STILL HAVE TO GO!! CAUSE YOU ARE READING THIS!! =P

finally it's thursday and tml is the audition... Nervous?! I don't know... probably tml! But hope not...

Well not been blogging... And I've been shopping! Bought too many stuff so I'll just keep it short! Shopping is my soul food!

And how time flies! There's only 4 more practices to concert!!

And thanx to all who are coming!! I think it will make your money wotrth! cause we are working very hard!!

ok finally decided on the song for the friday audition... Why can't I?

Just hope nervous breakdown doesn't rule me anymore....

I still can't believe this man! I can't believe I just want to the table pick up that piece of paper and without hesitation I wrote my name!

I can't god damn believe that I took part in SP band edge!! Oh god!!

Am I dreaming?

Okies I'm still looking for a second song! And I'm running out of songs!! Ya someone like me who sings alot have no songs in mind!

It's always the case! When you don't need to look for one, it just comes to your head! but when you need it, all of a sudden your mind is empty! blank!

Ok! peeps! I need suggestion!! Just tag!! I would appreciate it! Though no treats! NO REWARDS!! But BY HELPING YOU ARE DOING A GOOD DEED FOR THE DAY! I'M SURE GOD WILL KNOW!!

THANK YOU!!

This is totally insane...

I hurt my foot! And damn u bet it's swollen now!! The glock drop onto my feet and it turn blue-black INSTANTLY!! DAMN IT!! you bet it's darn god pain!! And I've been limping home! Shit man!

And I've yet to rub it cause I'm afraid of pain! AH! Just leave it!

Anyways first day of school yesterday was fantastic! 8am class I woke up at 840am... If not for mei's call I think I'll just sleep till noon and missed the whole day of class! =D

Typically me...

Just 7 more practices we are off to esplande for my LAST MD concert!! Oh yeah! baby!

Can't wait! and most of my friends are going this year! Especially my 2 darlings from the rojak gang! with their BF!! =D

haha... it's so gd to have friends that are attached! Ok! Not making use!!

I just love you guys man! I miss u guys! I wanna meet up with you guys!! ARGH! Seesh! I've lots to tell u peeps! But think I don't know hw to start... ah nvm abt tat part... just keep it to myself...

ok i'm really very scared and I feel like crying now...

I don't wanna say what is it about cause that's the thing I'm afraid of... Ugh! Shit man! what am I to do?!

Can't it just bloody hell leave me alone for a long time! I'm struggling so hard! And I really don't know who to talk to... I don't dare!

Ugh man! who do I turn to? Who can I talk to?

The first day of the year and the first group of friends I met are not my rojak gang! I met up with ruben, halim, kar heng and rasidah! To celebrate ruben's birthday! Well I'm just gonna save the effort of describing the process of waiting for them! But I waited for them for 2 hours plus!!

OMG!! Never in my whole life I waited for people for that long! that's like almost impossible!!! But thank God I had shopping!! haha...

Well, I bought a pair of white pumps!! =) never even fail to!

Headed to Siam Kitchen at Suntec for dinner! It was good! Not bad! If you love spicy food, here's the place to go! Dinner was fun! Had lots of fun and crap! And we dedicated a song to ruben at the fountain!! You bet he was touched!! That's what halim said so cause he never had that kind of look on his face before!! Just trying to hide! Oh come on! Just be touched! Cry if you want!! haha... nah i'm joking...

Anyways! I just came back from Mustafa centre!! haha... My dream came true!! nah... Just wanted to take a look there! It's just so good to have a friend who drives! But sad we could not stay out late cause ruben has to go home and study!

I bought a cap there and an addidas deodarant spray... and one for my sister!

Well that's it for the day! i'm tired! But thinking should I finished my CSB or leave it for tml!

Ok it's 18 mins past 2006!! Happy new year peeps!!

So what's your new year's resolution?

I have a couple!

First of all, I wanna remember all my friends' birthday! I'll try!

And I wanna do something that I never had the courage to do my whole entire life!! And I'm gonna do it! And since I have the confidence now! I'll just do it!

Well for the rest!I just want a smooth sailing 2006! Interesting and abit exciting! I don't mind! But I don't want anymore similar incidents in 2005 again!