Summer but it felt like winter

Security as define means freedom from danger, care, anxiety. Whether in relationship or financial areas, security meant protection. Reassurance. All of us need that 'cause we're humans. We constantly need assurance from family, friends, colleagues and our bosses. We know we do not have to ask for reassurance from our family and close friends 'cause there's love and we can work in getting assurance at work. But what about relationship?

How would you define being secure in a relationship? It probably varies with different people due to expectations. But despite that, there's one thing in common. That is... You lose it(sense of security), you lose it all. Insecurity feels like winter and sometimes it gets too lonely during winter 'cause of the coldness. But it gets too warm inside with the many layers. It makes you lose your sanity and you start to doubt.

I once told my bf... If you ever cheat on me, please tell me. I can forgive you but we can't continue to be together. Sounds ridiculous? My hairstylist heard this and turn to my bf asking him how did he manage to find a "guy" to date? Not sure if this is a man's thinking but it certainly the way I feel. Once there's betrayal, I can't trust you any longer. You can't treat me like a fool by cheating behind my back but I hate myself for doubting and questioning you if I found out and forgive you like it had never happen before. I can't. Yes I'm full of ego.

I told one of my friend that if a man can't make you feel secure, he's not the right man for you. I don't know to what extent you'll agree with me. But if there's love and trust, there's no need for constant reassurance 'cause sometimes it might get a little tiring. Things might just change.

Fortunately, I must say bf and I have come thus far. Almost 4 yrs of relationship but there's never one moment we doubted each other 'cause of another person. I like that when either of us spot a handsome guy or pretty girl on the streets, we would give each other a nudge to check them out. No jealousy 'cause our love is strong. A pity if we missed it.

I'm happy to have him and still counting many happy moments together. I hope you've found the same.