Blessed are the meek

I'm feeling kind of sucky,down and irritated. About what I don't know. Probably it's just coming back.

My mood just took a 360 degree turn when I came back.

It was calm and peaceful at first.

Out out out. I need to get out of this place.

Been thinking about my future. My studies.

The thought of studying overseas was one of the options in my list but money has always got to get into the picture and spoil everything. And so from studying overseas,I changed my mind to working overseas. At least I'm going over for a source of income.

Question: Can I survive all alone out there?

yes I can. It's a challenge.

The other thing is to move out and stay. why? Cause I wanna be independent.

Ok bullshit. I don't wanna stay with my sisters that's the reason. Partially. Probably if I move out and see them once in awhile, I'll learn how to appreciate them for who they are. It takes a person to realise how important someone else is when you lose it. I'm doing it that way and I think it's better. Probably our relationship would improve slightly.

I've always tell my friends don't be so mean to your siblings but I don't practice what I preach. It's true. Cause I'm like that to them and I don't want it to happen to my friends.

I hate to poke my nose into my sisters' affairs and try to tell myself that what they do has got nothing to do with me. Egoistic as it may seems. Selfish I may appear to people. But I'm leaving it the way it is cause life would be so much simplier and easier.