The floodgates

Have I reached the limit?

Seriously I don't know. It's been tough going by each day this week. Since monday I was feeling down. Ain't I supposed to be happy after birthday celebration. But what's wrong? What's bringing me down. Down to the bottom of the valley. Suddenly I seemed to have dropped into a cave. So dark with no exit or a ray of light.

I just need to let it out but there's no way out. My job has become more than a burden to me.

Finally today I couldn't help it, the floodgates open. Everything is just not right from the time I woke up to shower. Work was not good. Made a mistake. AGAIN. That's it. I wanted so much to break down at that moment. Go to the toilet to cry. Pick up the phone to give the bf a ring. But I couldn't 'cause he was in camp. And I didn't allow myself to get off my seat to hide in the toilet to cry. 'Cause that's not the person I wanna be. I sat there and controlled the tears that was about to roll down. I fought it. To the end of the day.

now i'm feeling so restless. Am on leave tml. Need it. I need some time alone. Just wanna be all alone. Not sure of the plans tml. Either head out shopping alone or just hide under the blankie.

Tired. Ciaoz peeps!