I wanna get to sleep!!!

YES! I wanna sleep! I'm so tired!! I'm so sleepy... I just freaking hell wanna get to sleep early for once! But I can't get to sleep!!

No matter how long I close my eyes, I'm still very wary of my surroundings... I know that my lights are still on... I know that the freaking lizard, which has been in my room for days, is somewhere behind the computer table...

When everything is off except for the lights... The room is in total silence... I could hear myself breathing hardly... my sister snoring... and the voice within me trying hard to ask me to sleep and stop thinking... But it lost the battle to a "silent killer"... the things in my mind...

The quietness is killing me... it's making me not able to get my beauty sleep... My mind is still working hard... It's bringing me back... Bringing me back to a place where it might not even allow me to step foot on...

At this time, I'm supposed to be studying FMKT... But I can't get started, once I start reading... I know there's no space in my mind for all the bond market and stuff...

It's cold in the room and I wanna hide under my blanket... And fell asleep... With no dreams...

But now I even have problem falling asleep... don't talk about dreams... If that's the case, I rather dream!

I hate the nights when I have to try hard to make myself sleep... Is it only if it's a rainy day here then I will be able to get to sleep? Must it really rain? If that's the case then... PLEASE RAIN!

I'm sitting here right in front of the computer with the song "Cry me a river" playing on my winamp... with eyes that are closing soon... But I know that I won't be able to get to sleep once I lay on the bed...

with a freaking slow song, sounding so lazy... I'm having a picture in my head... just like those lazy afternoons or evenings, sitting by the river with a cup of tea or wine... A piece of cheese cake... a interesting book that I'm not able to put down once I start... Or probably just enjoying the scenery or the beautiful nature that God gave... reflecting the things that has happen in my life...

Ok I'm carried away... But it's a nice picture in my head though... It feels so real that I so want to do that now...