Here's a toast to all the lovely mothers in the world!

*cling*

But of cause. Mother's day is not only today! Only today is the day, that's what makes it special.

And no matter how big or small the gift is, they always appreciate it.

For us, mother's day celebration was yesterday. Headed to the crystal jade restuarant at Ngee Ann City. The total bill was abt 500+ and mum paid for it!! haha...

Ok pls don't start cursing and swearing for being such an unfillial daughter.

This mother's day my mum had the biggest present ever. Her wish came true.

I rmb having a conversation with her. She said mother's day is round the corner and I asked what does she wants.

She smiled to me saying,"I only have one wish."

I said, "OK! I'll get it for you."

I always knew what her wish was. So without hesitation I agreed. Cause I knew that even if she had the money to do so, she won't ever do it. The money will eventually be spent on us. Seriously there wasn't any pain to talk about when I paid for it. In fact, it was a sense of satisfaction. Finally it's my turn to be able to make her wish come true. However that's not gonna be able to repaid for what she has done for us. Never!!!

At least, she's happy.

It was sweet of my sisters to contribute a little(lots to them) despite that they are not working.

Now this was the thing that we bought for her.



yes. A 2.3K LV lastest and limited edition bag.

^-^

But if i'm gonna get it for myself!!! Saw the blood?!

It's over.

If you had met me by chance for the past 2 weeks, tell me something and i'll just forget it almost immediately. It was a hectic week for me. The previous week on friday, I gave tuition to near 12 after work. And since that day, you won't see me home before the clock strikes 12.

On monday, the eve of labour day, I worked till 8+ and headed to Nini's house for tuition. Left at 2+. Reached home.Showered. But it wasn't bedtime for me. Had to do some science papers for the answers. Didn't sleep till 5 in the morning. Before I could really rest, it was time to wake up and continue marking and searching the web for answers to questions I didn't know. And it was time for tuition again.

The worse? I taught till 2.30 on wed and had to wake up at 7+ for work.

Most amazing thing of all? I never thought that talking too much would EVER be one of the reason why I lose my voice. Was wrong. I just kept teaching and teaching. Talking and Talking non-stop for hours and hours. yea... by now you wld have thought drink more water. WHICH I DID!! more than 2 litres a day! It wasn't a sore throat. wasn't any pain to talk abt.

My voice was husky. My boss thought I was sick. For a week plus. I never imagine I could go to such an extent. The strength and determination from God was amazing.

And of all time, I made a terrible mistake at work. My boss had to clear my shit. It wasn't the best time for this to happen. I was feeling terrible. Wanted to quit out of guilt, cause I just felt I was incompetent. Perfectionist u can call me. Humans all make mistakes but I just can't allow myself to have that. I felt condemn. Condemn by my authoriser and boss.

Hannah woke me up with this.

"U're condemning yourself! No one is. God's people will NEVER be condemn!"

For a fact, it was right. All along I was condemning myself, cause now everything is back to normal. They're talking to me. casually just like the past.

That was the past 2 weeks. Hectic. Balancing between work and tuition. Kept busy every single minute,gives me no time or room for my mind to think about other things. The numbness of work. Overworking. I like it. Love it. Wished it could be like tat most of the time. Ain't nuts. I just want it.

Besides this 2 major things, I can't really remember what happen for the week. I think I've overworked so much that for the 2 weeks while I was working my memory span was less than 1 min. Was doing sth and had to divert my attention to something else. But when I'm done, I can't rmb what I have to do. Not just once. Probably a couple of times in a day. =D

Well thank God it's break time now!!

Anyways my mum bought me my 21st birthday pressie already! When i'm only turning 21 in SEPT!! End of SEPT! She said she was anxious. =.=

About what? No idea man.... But what I know is that. She's a super traditional mum when it comes to things like that. By now you might know what she bought for me. A necklace.... with a key pendant. It's white gold. It's really nice and I love it.

I asked why didn't you buy a DIAMOND necklace instead?!!! hahah...

Now that was a joke. Diamond ain't really my thing. Branded goods are never my thing too. It's definitely my mum's! Cause this mother's day, her wish is gonna come true but burn a big hole in my pocket! She's getting a LV for mother's day gift!! Can't believe it?

In fact, I was the one that say I'll buy it for you!! ^-^

Nothing wrong with that. She never bear to buy it for herself. Every single cent she earned, she spent it on us. And how is that 1,000 over bucks bag ever gonna repay her love for us. Something I ought to do.

Was having a casual conversation with my mum that day while I was taking a shower, while she was sitting in the kitchen. I asked her why don't she moved us. After all, we have al grown up and the space is getting smaller! and yea! with all my stuff.

"I can sell this house. Buy a new one and since I have not buy any new house before i'll get some blah blah... but i'm so old already. If I do so now, it's like putting a whole new burden on my shoulder."

She has got a point,I thought to myself.

"Anyways you guys are already so big and getting married in a couple of years. That time we'll just move in with you guys."

I laughed and told her. What if I'm still single at the age of 35!!!

"You won't." That sounded kind of worried from her tone.

I insisted. What if. And she finally said if that's the case, that time u'll buy a new house and we'll stay with you! Not a bad idea eh.

You can't rule out this possibility. The number of single women at the age of 35 is increasing rapidly in Singapore. I told her.

"Mami. Women in your era and my era are so different. And your daughter,me,belongs to the women of MY era."

That means it's the career mindset.

Men and women have equal work opportunities now. Over the years, everything have changed. Education was no longer just for the men but for women too. That was the time when they started to plant the seedling. A society with career-minded women.

In the beginning, men were supposed to lead and women to follow. Asked any women now, out of 10, 7 would laugh at that thinking. Yours truly is one of them.

Question.

Are men getting weaker or are women becoming tougher?

I would say. Men ain't getting weaker but in fact the women are getting tougher. More independent. Men were born to be masculine,tough and strong. Providing the kind of support for women. They still are now. Just that the difference now is that women are catching up.

I wanted to get married at the age of 22. Laugh if you want cause even I,myself, can't help laughing at my sillyness and stupidity. That thought was before I came out to work or rather before some incidents that had happen that made a major change in life.

It didn't took long for me to have the career woman mindset. about a month plus. The early marriage was out of the picture. It was all about supporting myself and my parents. Buy a house myself. Depend on myself,instead of waiting for someone to support me. Not a single tear for anyone or even any stress that come my way.

To me that's a weak woman. Not someone I would want myself to become. Not even a chance!

After so much had happen, it has become clear to me. The exact things that I have to focus and give my all at this point of time.

Enough said. Bedtime!

Ciaoz!

Fear. A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Or it can be explain as concern or anxiety; solicitude.

Stress. The importance or significance attached to a thing; emphasis: to lay stress upon good manners. Which in this case, it's not what I'm talking about. It's more of a physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.

Stress level is slowly building up. And at this time, I'm losing all the sleep that I'm suppose to have. Energy is using up but not replenished for me to go further. I could be so tired when I reached home,almost drained and dead. But as I lie low on my bed, I can't sleep. Finally when I'm into dreamland, I found myself awake checking the time on my hp. And that was only an hour or so of sleep. To fall asleep again, it would be 3-4 hours later and waking up at intervals of 1-2 hours.

As usual, sleep was the way it was. Despite that had to wake up at 8 in the morning for service. Still it was a long day ahead. No matter how sleepy, I had to get it going. Student's exams are round the corner. To be exact. 2 more weeks. At this point of time, I really hope that God could give me more than 24 hours a day. Maybe 48 hours? yea. 2 days in one day. I could do tons of things. I could go through as much as I want.

Responsibility is the thing that makes the word "STRESS" look even bigger than ever. Time is running out. I know. The tiring thing is that I have to run after it. The cruel fact? Time waits for no man. I don't mind skipping dinner or losing sleep, or even teach till the wee hours, so long as they do well.

Feeling stressful is already a big burden. At the same time, I'm fearful. I have so many things running through my head. I was holding to it so firmly and I thought I have gotten over it. In fact,convinced myself. And I have come close to losing it, something that I struggled so hard to hold on to. Now. I would gripped on to it real tight. So tight that no one can take it away from me.

My fear?

Everything just happen all at a time. I've to face it alone and try to do it alone. There's no one who can help me or go through it with me. No one. I'm not even sure if I can get it right yet I have to get it right.

A week has finally past. It wasn't the kind of week that I thought it would be like. It seem so long on monday that saturday is coming. And now it's already saturday. Finally a day for just myself to sort out my thoughts.

So much things had happen this week. Bitter,sweet,sour and spicy. I had it all. One after another. Have not been sleeping well. Turn in early, divert my calls to my voicemail. But still I just could not sleep through. I woke up every intervals of 3-4 hours.

Went to bed at 9 on monday. But was haunted by worst nightmare that one could ever had. Work. 888......3414.... 888.....8697....5,000,000.... Figures. yes it keep flashing in my head,before my eye. Something that I do everyday,suddenly I seem stuck. I could not even get a simple payment done.

I open my eyes in fear and tried forgetting abt it. But once I shut my eyes. There it goes again.

It wasn't the same for the next couple of days but getting into a deep and proper sleep was impossible. Wish I could take one large sleeping pill and just knock out. Wanted to get it from Hannah ytd but I had an appt which was cancelled this morning.

Work was boring ytd. I finished early at 6.30. Was tired but I wanted to go for a shopping spree. From a shopping spree to waiting for an hour plus at the salon for Hannah to get her hair cut and highlight. Boy!! Never knew I had so much patience! Thankfully I had the company of my MP3 player that I would die without it.

Pretty stylist haircut! The reason she took so long was because!!! Her hairstylist said! Your friend is so stylist! You can't lose to her!! haha... MAN! He's so cute!! Made me happy cause this! was coming from a hairstylist, that knew how to appreciate it!

Headed to Bugis for a SHORT shopping, manage to bought a dress at a steall of 22 bucks! And met up with Wei Shan. Spent sometime at Breko. Had salad for dinner, well it's still better than nothing. Talk and had a good laugh!

As usual. Hannah was rushing me to talk to my mum and asked if I could move out and stay! OH!!! I just love the idea of it!! The smell of freedom... oh no! not freedom . I have that already! it's INDEPENDENCE!!! The whole idea of it just excites me!! I've always wanted to move out and learn how to be independent.

It would be even better that I could leave this place. Study overseas. Due to restrictions! uh huh... like money! I was thinking maybe I could finished up my studies here and get a job overseas!! Perfect plan!

While reading, I'm not sure if you can feel how I feel or the kind of feeling that I'm giving. The desperateness of leaving this place. The desire for a whole new environment and experience. There are so much more out there to see.

Thought of joining world vision to third world countries to help, perharps from there I'm able to learn that my problems are far incomparable to what they are going through. We worried about what to eat for lunch,what we should wear to work to look good,what brand of shampoo is good. But there's only one thing on these people's mind. I survived through today but what about tml?

A question that would never be asked by most of us here.

oh well... all these are the plans I have in mind. I still have to complete my studies and get my degree.

Talking about degree! I went for my interview at UniSim! I got accepted! for the JUL 08 intake! Cause I met NONE of their criteria!! I had to be 21 and above and 2 years working experience!!! What a joke!! But the lady was kind enough to tell me what I could do. I didn't know what to do after she said that. Are you trying to tell me that I can get in and have to try next yr?! But fortunately she accepted me. So I'll have to wait till Jan 08 to take some certificate programmes which are modules in the course and when I start in Jul I could be exempted. At least time is saved! =)

Funny huh!! When you applied for it, they didn't call and tell me. Instead asked me to go for an interview. But if i'm not wrong, I think the place is secured. Gotta wait for their call. So now I don't have to save so much! At least I can spend a tiny bit! Not too much of cause!

Caught "300" on thursday! oh boy!!!THE SPARTANS!!! I could pay for another time to see their SIZZLING SEXY hot bodies!!! Each and every one of them!!! Of cause the main point isn't that. Lazy to type more. So just read up or watch it for those we have not!!

Time to PACK!

I've always believe that everyone around me,people i know and don't know, are all pure and innocent. At least that's the way I chose to look at people. Everyone is good.

But as the truth are uncovered before my eyes. I realise I was wrong. The world is not made up of only the good ones. Balance is the word. The bad ones balance it.

Everyone of us,when born into this world, we brought nothing with us. We don't even know what lying is. And if the world wasn't that complicated and if humans was not that vulnerable, till today we won't know what lie is. People lie to get what they want. People lie so that they can run away from responsibilities.

That incident. Has taught me the greatest lesson in my life. Don't trust men.

Each time I look back , I feel so ashame of myself. For not being able to be strong and breakdowning in front of so many people. And this kind of feeling makes me feel pathetic of myself. Pride and dignity. I've lost it that time. And I vow that I won't breakdown in front of anyone else! Not for anything. Especially for some stupid issue.

You may think I'm silly and stupid. You may feel that I'm just a pathetic girl trying too hard. But that's the only way I can protect myself from having another wound which would heal but leave a scar forever.

I have to be tough and strong. Even if i'm not. I have to act tough. To not get hurt.

The world is changing. In fact too fast. People are having different concepts now. So different that sometimes I wonder am I too outdated and conservative or people are just too open-minded.

Sometimes the relationship between some girls and guys are just so complicated. Some could bring themselves to toy with people's feelings. Not anyone in specifically.

Question. How could they ever bear to do it?

I did ever thought of not being serious,have some flings and play with people's feelings. But I realise I can't. I can't bring myself to be so cruel to people. The thought of vulnerable ones going through that process.

Don't we all belong to the same species? How could one wonderful creation be so cruel to another. Leaving ugly scars on their hearts, that no matter how much he/she trys to conceal. You could see it in her eyes when she's deep in thoughts.

It's the state I'm in now. Scars that gives me the fear of trusting anyone,not even my closest one.

I remember Aud once said that I'm too independent. Independent? I never thought this word would be used on me. Never ever did I think I was.

This was what she replied.

"Sometimes I still wanna depend on my mother on some things."

I think otherwise. I didn't wanna depend on my mum ever since I came out to work. Though she still gives me pocket money. If i'm accepted for Uni. I'm gonna support myself through the years of uni. Working full-time and studying part-time is not gonna be easy. But I'll do it. I would rather suffer for a few years than to depend on my parents or my relatives. That is. Another stage to go through to be even stronger,since i'm the eldest in the family.

However tough it is, I will not give up. I'm not gonna let anyone see the weak me.

Enough said till here. Too much to digest.

Anyways caught 2 movies recently.


Watched "The number 23" last night. Pretty ok show. Abit of twist and turns. But!!

"Freedom writers" is highly recommended. =)

This scence was really touching. What this kids had gone through are things that were not happen when it was 1992 in Singapore. And also the part that they realise some adult is listening to them like they never before.

The debate session. Totally no idea what they were arguing about. Probably the battle between the 2 sexes.Respect.

Lastly! Ain't he Charming!!

I'm giving way. My body is. My mind is.

I'm stressed up and tired. One week five days I worked almost 10-12 hours. Probably longer for some people. But for me. It's tiring. And weekends I'll have to run around for tuition. And stress is building up on my shoulder that I can no longer lift it up.

My students' exams are round the corner. Probably in 3 weeks time. And I've so much things to do. I'm worried about their results. Worried for them. To me,their bad results is my failure.

Time is just running out. And because of work. Having tuition on weekdays are always so difficult. By the time I finish, it would be too late to go over. And I can't just throw my work to my authoriser. It makes me feel irresponsible.

Told Eanna and Lydia that I'll have to leave early during late aprils and may. I feel guilty.

Am I too responsible or what? I hate leaving my work to someone else to do just cause I need to rush off. It pisses me off. Though my bosses don't mind. They knew from the very first day that I was giving tuition.

And I've never thought of giving up anyone of the 3. They are my students but the kind of close relationship it's more than a student-tutor kind of relationship. I'm not sure how they feel, but that's how I feel.

At times they do pissed me off for not doing their work. But when worries sets in, anger is just nothing at all.

Well just gonna hang in there for one more day. After which it's a long weekend. From thursday to monday and back to work on tuesday.

Pretty packed for all the days. In fact all packed up!

Gotta head to bed. The pain in my head is making me insane!

Deception. The world is full of it.

I've learnt. Not to trust.

My Drunkards experience.

I'm not sure how many of us have had experience with drunkards before and how their small little actions could trigger the laughter in you. I've always thought that getting yourself drunk was the most unglam state to get into. All the puking,shouting and blabbering that doesn't make any cow sense at all.

Till date. I've seen 3 man. erm... 1 man and 2 guys, drunk.

The first person and the most unexpected one was my dad. That was a hilarious one. I remember studying in the room with my sisters and my parents came home with my auntie. And they told us our dad was drunk. No one actually believed till we saw it with our own eyes.

For the first time I saw my dad drunk and being carried into the house. He just sat on the kitchen floor totally knock out but still blabbering... Vulgarities in hainanese! I'll never forget that.

Come on!! It's my dad!! The father that was so stern and strict to us when we were younger. The one that look like a monster when he holds the cane up. Is now seated on the kitchen floor half-dead and blabbering vulgarities.

We could do nothing except for standing there,stare at him and laughing.

The second experience was one of my classmate. Which I think most prob we would just give it a miss cause it was nothing much as compared to the first and third experience, which was yesterday.

And I've learnt a lesson. "How to babysit a drunkard".

Drunkard babysitted yesterday-swee wah.

T'was his 21st birthday! I've already wished him so not another time. For the first time in my whole damn 6 years, I saw him PISSED DRUNK. No need for more description of how a drunkard would behave. =) It's his 21st!

Conclusion?

I resent drunkards. For some reason.

3 hours of sleep was what I had. And I'm starving now and my eyelids are getting heavier. Pizza is taking it's own sweet time. HUNGER WAITS FOR NO FOOD!

ok. Probably that didn't make a single sense. But it's FOOD and SLEEP that I can think of now.


I wanna get this!

The one and only issue that has been weighing me down is now a burden off.

Submitted my application for Uni after thinking and considering for a long time.

It wasn't easy but it wasn't that tough either.

Decision making always makes me feel like a bitch. I hate myself for being indecisive and at those moments. I would hope for someone to make a decision for me. But too bad. Sometimes adults,i mean family and relatives,tell you to make your own decision. And when you finally made up your mind and tell them watcha wanna do. They would start giving comments and say it's not good. There's no future. And they would like to end the sentence with.

"I'm just telling you. Giving you comments. But ultimately,it's you to decide. It's your life, you don't live under my shawdows."

AND! They would give that face.

So what am I suppose to do?

That's how it's like in my family. They like to do that.

But hell no am I gonna do what I'm doing in poly. No more finance! NO no no!

That was my first big thing in my life at the moment. For now it's just waiting.

Work was fine this work. I knock off before 7.30pm almost everyday! What more can I ask for? More pay rise?!

Certainly hope so.

Sick sick sick... I'm feeling sick.

Anyways after thinking for so long and searching. Getting lost and confused in between. I've finally made up my mind.

Watched "The pursuit of Happyness" yesterday night. Well not a bad show. An inspiration show.

"Don't ever let anyone stop you from doing what you dream. Not even me."

That was what Will Smith said to his son in the show.

The cutest dude in the whole show!

Next thing.

Barclays and ABN Amro intend to merge.

Barclays, ABN Amro in talks to create banking giant
Posted: 20 March 2007 0444 hrs

ONDON : Dutch bank ABN Amro and British banking group Barclays on Monday confirmed they were in "early and exploratory" talks over a possible merger to create the world's fifth-largest bank.

Shares in ABN Amro had soared 9.6 percent earlier on press reports that Barclays wanted to make an offer to buy the Dutch group.

"Barclays PLC confirms that it is in exclusive preliminary discussions with ABN Amro Holding NV concerning a potential combination of the two organisations which will create value for both sets of shareholders," Barclays, the third-biggest British bank, said in a statement.

"These discussions are the result of careful consideration to create a highly complementary partnership. The talks are at an early and exploratory stage and there can be no certainty that they will lead to a transaction."

A takeover by Barclays of ABN Amro would create a group with a market capitalisation of more than US$160 billion (120 billion euros), making it the world's fifth-biggest behind Citigroup, Bank of America, both of the United States, China's ICBC and British rival HSBC.

The combined enterprise would have 47 million clients and employ 220,000 people in 50 countries.

Analysts viewed a tie-up as being positive for ABN Amro which is under pressure from some of its shareholders who want to break it up.

"After recent activist investors pushing ABN to break-up, a merger with a highly respected bank as Barclays may not be something they could refuse," Dresdner Kleinwort analysts James Eden and Ian Gordon said in a research note before the announcement.

The Dutch bank, which has big interests in emerging economies, is facing break-up demands from hedge fund investors The Children's Investment Fund (TCI) and Toscafund, which want management to sell assets separately to make profits for shareholders.

Meanwhile, analysts said that Barclays could also face competition for ABN Amro from other banks, including BNP Paribas or Societe Generale in France, US-based Wachovia and Spain's Banco Santander Central Hispano. They are all thought to be interested in acquiring parts of the ABN Amro empire.

Barclays's stock dropped 0.8 percent to 677 pence on Monday.

"The value of ABN broken up is more than the whole. Royal Bank of Scotland or Wachovia could buy ABN's US and Treasury businesses, while Santander could buy its Brazilian and European retail banking businesses," said Magnus
Mathewson, banks analyst at stockbroker Hitchens Harrison.

A deal between Barclays and ABN Amro was first mooted two years ago but was torpedoed by the chief executive of the Dutch bank, Rijkman Groenink.

Groenink had insisted then that cultural, legislative and governance differences meant that ABN Amro would be the "junior" partner in the deal and would be "absorbed" by Barclays.

The market capitalisation of Barclays is currently 44.3 billion pounds while ABN Amro is 39.1 billion pounds, so the difference in size persists.

Barclays said last month that its net profit surged to a record 4.571 billion pounds last year, while ABN Amro announced a rise in profit of 7.6 percent to 4.78 billion euros for 2006. - AFP/de.

Question,question,question.

I'm sick of it and am tired of it for the day. All my energy are drained thinking and thinking.

Thinking about my future. Thinking what I should do.

I'm trying so hard to relax now and stop thinking at least for today.

So vexed over it.

I'm feeling kind of sucky,down and irritated. About what I don't know. Probably it's just coming back.

My mood just took a 360 degree turn when I came back.

It was calm and peaceful at first.

Out out out. I need to get out of this place.

Been thinking about my future. My studies.

The thought of studying overseas was one of the options in my list but money has always got to get into the picture and spoil everything. And so from studying overseas,I changed my mind to working overseas. At least I'm going over for a source of income.

Question: Can I survive all alone out there?

yes I can. It's a challenge.

The other thing is to move out and stay. why? Cause I wanna be independent.

Ok bullshit. I don't wanna stay with my sisters that's the reason. Partially. Probably if I move out and see them once in awhile, I'll learn how to appreciate them for who they are. It takes a person to realise how important someone else is when you lose it. I'm doing it that way and I think it's better. Probably our relationship would improve slightly.

I've always tell my friends don't be so mean to your siblings but I don't practice what I preach. It's true. Cause I'm like that to them and I don't want it to happen to my friends.

I hate to poke my nose into my sisters' affairs and try to tell myself that what they do has got nothing to do with me. Egoistic as it may seems. Selfish I may appear to people. But I'm leaving it the way it is cause life would be so much simplier and easier.

Work was good today. Left early and headed back to SP band to made payment for the Japan trip.
Yup am going Japan with SP band in June.

Going back just brought back so many memories and they will playing "Highlights from Chess".

Oh boy how I miss those players when we're in year 1. Had so much fun!

Caught up with some peeps, had a really short talk but t'was good enough.

Dinner was settled at Holland V with aud and weiloong. As usual Jo was missing. So we've gotta plan another outing.

Took time off tml from work to give tuition in the morning. Feeling so guilty but it makes me even more guilty that my student is not really doing well. Anyways it's an hour only and work only comes in after 10. So it would be just in time when i'm in.

Gonna catch the a movie with Swee wah tml. =)



All set to see some hot dudes!!! =)

The sound of my alarm intruded into my precious sleep and gave me the worse feeling I could ever wake up with.

I dragged myself out of my bed and walk sleepily to the bathroom to take my bath while thinking what would be the attire for the day. And so I decided to go for a lazy choice. One that I could just take from the cupboard and not iron.

Put it on but didn't exactly felt great.

Just when you know that monday blues are terrible enough, work has always gotta poke it's "nose" into it.

The HK system that I was using to process my transactions were super duper slow!! How slow? Slow enough that if it was a living thing, I would strangle him to death with all my patience already ran out. For 11 freaking hours, I had to bear with the system. Everybody was frustated.
And I had a high volume today, definitely more than 100, and processing alone. I stayed till 1015pm.

Am so tired and worn out now. Gonna have a good sleep. It's yet another day tml.

Okies before going to bed. Some photos to share when I went to bintan for team building.

View from our room

The swimming pool.

And yes!!! Our room!!!

Despite that,I still went ahead to take a photo there. =)

My best roomie for 2 nights!

The nice and soothing "Killing me softly" from my windows media player is getting me so relax. And getting tipsy and lay back with the Susan wong's voice.

Jazz,Jazz. The wonderful relaxing effect it has on such a quiet night with just me and my lappie.

Time now is 11.58pm. Been wanting to update about what was going on in my life since 9? or maybe earlier. ha... but chatting and "Ugly Betty" has took it away. =)

So I'm back here trying to update this blog of mine.

Pretty good week. Work was ok. Knocking off slightly earlier as compared to the other times. 9pm. Not much of early I can talk about but still hoping for a better change.

Mid-march is coming and I've yet to do something so important. That is to sign up for Uni. I've everything planned. No. It was changing and changing. But now that I've decided, I'm afraid of taking a step forward.

The initial plan was to sign up and do full-time in marketing and leave ABN in july.Now it's to take part-time in marketing and continue to work full-time in ABN. But the problem is that I'm not sure to go for a course that goes along with my interest or a course that would guarantee a bright career prospect.

Probably interest would be a better choice. Anyways anyhow, we'll see. Gotta get it done real soon.

Anyways went to watch a concert at Esplande with Arvin yesterday. Performance by "Tower of Power". Really good band. Good vocalist,drummer. Every one were good. The crowd was good too. Everybody was dancing. "Young at heart" was what I could see yesterday.

The kind of music from dreamgirls. Found better choice of music. Thanks to Arvin's recommendation. Wouldn't have had such a good time. Made my 60 bucks worth it all.


And yeah some pics from "Dreamgirls".

Boy oh boy!! I love Keith Robinson!! They should just change the roles of Jamie Foxx(Jimmy) and Keith Robinson (C.C). But well come to think of it. I think I just had a change of mind! Cause in the show Jimmy was some big time arse! So C.C is too nice. We'll jsut leave it that way. He being the nice,charming and talented songwrite who produce music with da'soul! =)

Oh man. I love Blacks! Auds love whites.

Love this scence. Jennifer Hudson(played Effie white) was so passionate. Really touching scence. Being abandon and helpless with a lose of direction. Love the character,Effie.

Okies tat's all folks!

Ciaoz! =D

Don't say I didn't try... I did k. =)

Anyways, dad bought dinner back for mum and I. And since I rarely see them and have dinner with them. Thought it would be good to have dinner with them in the kitchen since I'm home early.
I'm not the kind who can sit and just eat in the kitchen. I need TV!! I need to watch and eat at the same time.

I know it's bad for stomach. Indigestion. But sorry! It's a habit already. Hard to kick off. Never want to anyways.

So hard for trying. When they finished their food, I'm not even a 1/4 done. =)

In the end I still ended up in front of the tv...

I just SNAPPED my long hair! =)

yup your eyes are not playing tricks on you.

I snapped it real short. How short?

It's just really short. =D

A MAJOR BIG change.

Finally march has come. Have been in abn for 7 mths plus and how time flies.

Thinking back... I didn't know how I could survive those times when I was so stressed up and doing near 200 transactions alone. Staying to 10+ 11 almost everyday. Any healthy human would just fall sick. And I was almost on the verge of collapsing and giving up.

But well things are back in order now. Going back at 7 or 8 is more possible.

Probably God knew that I could not claim OT anymore from this month onwards. And have upgraded from giving one month notice to 3 months notice if I ever wanna quit.

No more OT claims and joining the 3 months notice for resignation club doesn't sound good at all huh.

But it would look good on my resume in future. Something that I can be proud of.

So I'm not sure if this promotion is good or not.

Well... will see how it goes. Guess it won't be that bad with God around.

Haven been updating for quite awhile. Busy with work and everything. Leave was well spent doing things that I should.

Had a good break... a long weekends last week. Took half day on friday and full day on monday. Monday was well spent with Jess. She's been here for almost a month and I haven got much time to spend with her since she came back from Perth.

Took the day off. And just like the good o'days, we went shopping like crazy. I spent like 200 over bucks buying.... a pair of jeans,a skirt, a wallet, 2 tops, 2 bags and 3 watches. if I didn't miss out anything it should be all. There was supposed to be a dinner gathering with her brother,my sisters and a couple of our friends. But thing just went the other way and in the end it was cancelled. And we went separate ways to meet our friends.

Wat else did I do.

Watched "Dreamgirls". DAMN! Hell of a good show! I wanna watch it again! well tat's if I have the time to. But I'm so gonna get the sound track. Best show ever.

Okies... gonna zionk out.

I'm not sure to be happy or not.

If happiness was water... Then there isn't a single drop of it in me.

Somehow I'm just not happy. Not satisfied. It's not worth the amount of work I'm doing.

Now I just have to be double efficient.

Work,yes to my amazement,it ended at 7.30pm sharp.

And the bus came at exactly 7.35pm. Headed home for a bath before I went out to catch a moive. Watched "Ghost Rider" with Swee Wah. Not a bad show. But I simply could take the volume. It was way too loud for me and we were sitting to near.

But overall it's still ok. Tired but come on! I finished early like once in a blue moon! I had to go have some life.

Okies. Tired.Seeing stars already.

Ciaoz!

Was expecting a massive traffic jam down at Keppel Road this morning since it's the first day of work after chinese new year. And people might still be in the holiday mood. Well at least for me it is. But it turn out otherwise,the traffic for smooth sailing and there wasn't even a slightest jam to talk about.

And I suddenly thought to myself. Oh shit. Am I supposed to start work today. Was it tomorrow? I didn't want to dress up and reach the office just to realise that I've made a mistake in coming in to work today.

I was hoping I was right but too bad. It ain't that good.

Despite staying home to rest for the past 2 days, I am still very sleepy now. Reason?
I slept at 2+ last night.

And now. Even the fax machine which has rested for so many days is down. Probably everybody and everything needs abit of warming up. I missed the bus in the morning and had to take a cab or I may just reach miserably at 9.45am. 9.30am is already bad enough. So I took a cab and guess what. The cabbie needs warming up too. T'was a lady cabbie. From the look and the smell of her cab, I reckon she was new. Plus the fact that she didn't know her way from my house to ORQ. Given that it was only a short distance and most cabbie would have know how to reach here.

I was thinking of catching some sleep while on the way to work. I mean that's what all of us would do after a late night sleep. But sad to say. I could not. She could not even read the signboards or road boards clearly.

Was rather annoyed but tried to be patient. After all, everybody has their first time. =)

I'm starting to think the break was to get prepared for the battle today. I have not done anything for today. I did but it was from last week. I have a bad feeling and I'm quite sure about it. Emails are coming in. Incoming logs has reached 34 and given the time now., it's way too early for this figure.

What's more can I expect.

My leave on friday!

The break that I finally long for is gonna be over soon, that is in less than 24 hours time.

But this break just came right on time.

Before that, Happy Chinese New Year Peeps!! Hope you guys had a great one! I did. Lots of sleeping and resting at home. Just lazing around.

It's the 3rd day of chinese new year and I've finished all my house visiting on the first day! =D
Didn't collect much of hong baos since I've only been to my uncle's house. And the thing I was looking forward to for this cny wasn't the hong baos, it was more of the rest and sleep I could get.

Work has totally took all my time that I didn't not had time to spring clean and given the mess in my room, I knew I need the time badly.

And so friday I finished work at 9.30pm, I definitely could not do it cause I was dead beat. I came back feeling so tired and really wanting to give this job up. But a good sleep does it all.

And thank God, I didn't have to go back to work on saturday. Boy! It was new year's eve! So it was spent packing the room. Phew. Lucky me. I had my cousins to help me. So it wasn't that bad.More hands, twice the speed. Did all the vaccum,mopping and cleaning. Didn't really do a thorough one. But good enough as compared to before. And I realised I have so many new clothes that I have not washed!!! Some have been there for almost a year!!! And it's still there!! oh God!!! I need to really do something to it. That is! Washed them soon!!!

I could almost fall asleep while packing. All of us were tired and sleepy! Started packing from 1pm and just in time for our reunion dinner, without taking a bath yet! =D

We had steamboat this year... again... But we never got sick of it. It's fun. And another thing that never change every year is... We would never fail to quarrel with each other. But I would say it's kind of tame this year. It lasted for awhile. But not as bad as the previous year.

And without fail, our programme after the dinner would be to join the crowd after dinner. But sadly, this year i was too tired and had the only intention to zonk out at home. No matter how my sisters persuaded me to go, I just rejected them. That they just got to bed. Cause they knew they failed.

Did I ever tell you I have a soft spot for friends?

If I didn't, now you know.

Jerm called me at exactly 15 mins before the clock strikes 12! To ask me to go chinatown!!! I told her I was tired and I really need rest... blah blah... but like I said. I can't reject a friend. So we went instead. Was supposed to wait for my cousins and his friend to come home for a game of monopoly. So in the end change of plan. My sisters,cousins, Jerm and I, a total of 7 of us went to chinatown. But it was quite a bore this year, probably we went too late. It wasn't as squeezy and I didn't manage to get anything at all. ok except for 3 pair of earrings. That's all. It was so bored.

We stayed there for only 1-2 hours, went to look for my cousin's friend whose working at party world ktv. Talked to him for awhile and headed to look for swee wah.

We met, we talked and look at each other. Guess what?! We didn't know where to go or what to do! We stood by the road thinking and thinking and thinking.

Final decision?! To head to my house for monopoly! Imagine 7 people in the middle of the night! No not middle! It was already 3.30am! At that time, we were still laughing and shouting loudly!! For your info,my house isn't that big. But we... no they! had fun. I was practically too tired to play the game. Paired up with swee wah. But thanks to him! Before we even start the game, he said he had a feeling we would lose. And thanks thanks! We did. So I left him battling alone. Was kind of worried that he wasn't comfortable at my house. But turn out otherwise. He had so much fun, that I left him there to go to bed. Luckily he knew Jerm and my sisters.

So yup... that was my new year. I slept at 5 in the morning and woke up at 8.30 am!! It was a sunday had to head to church before the visiting starts! =)

Headed to uncle's place for lunch and saw my baby niece!! Oh my!! She's so cute!! And so FAT! haha... but it's ok. And I fed her... boy she's so heavy that my arms was getting numb... and it was quite a big bottle of milk. My uncle said I'm qualified to be a mother already. Passed the test! ;)

But seriously, I'm not sure if i'm up to it when I really have one. It's different.

Headed to my grandma's after that... stayed there till I met my mother's side uncles,aunts and cousins to catch a movie. "Follow the law" was what we watched. Funny. Very typical Jack neo's movie, very Singaporean.

Finished the show at 11 plus. And that's it. I could not take it any longer already. With the work and amount of sleep for the past few weeks. I was really getting giddy already. So my uncle drove me home while the rest of them headed to Marina to walk and spent their time at starbucks.

I came home,bathed and just fell asleep on my bed.

And for yesterday. Nothing much. Cause I just stayed home to sleep and rest.

Nothing interesting.

Okies.. I just woke up 2 hours ago... now I'm sleepy so I'm gonna take a short nap. =)

And ya... Will photo blog in a couple of days time!

It's been a long and torturous week. Work was like fighting a battle. A race. A race against time that victory is seldom on the same side as human.

For 2 weeks. 2 freaking weeks! Out of 5 days, I would go home at 10+ for 4 days. I'm barely hanging on anymore. Mentally and physically, every single energy inside me is taken away. Sucked dry by ABN.

My health is giving way soon. And I know that. I get giddy and my gastric is acting up more often recently. I couldn't go to sleep until 3am last night, cause the pain was unbearable.

I'm barely hanging on anymore. Trying hard to brace myself up!

Before my morning has really started, I already had so many things to do and so many problems... and the meaning behind this?

That is... I can't knock off early today... which is quite a high possibility.. since we are having a meetin now! to 1pm... thanks! 2 hours gone!

The bad thing of finishing work early the day before is that you're never able to go home early the very next day!

So I did enjoy the once-in-a-blue-moon privileage to knock off yesterday and I headed to bought my bedsheets cause I don't think I'm gonna have time this weekend. And definitely not next week during days cause of work and plus the fact it's gonna be near CNY, we are expecting lots of payments. And CNY is next weekends!

Red packets! Red packets!!! Bonus!! Oops... =x

I didn't just say that!! I didn't!!

Yes I did!! haha...can't wait!

Anyways yup... I finally bought my bedsheet with a kind companion, Mr Swee wah! Actually maybe not... probably he just wanted to take a breather from studying that's why he was willing to accompany me... haha... =D

I spent like 95 bucks at Aussino for my bedsheets. But am satisfied, can't wait to change it and sleep on it...

Now I forgot the purpose of this entry already. haiz.. see what work can do to someone.

Ciaoz peeps!

Just came back from lunch and am so lazy to start work but just sleep.

My jaws are feeling so tired after the 2 days of chewing gums to keep myself awake during working hours. To keep those eyes of mine wide open so that I won't missed out any single instructions.

It's only a wednesday but I have been working till 10+ for the past 2 days. With such a start,I'm not sure how is it gonna go for the next few days. I'm supposed to meet up with swee wah but have been going back on my words. Now for that I really have to apologise pal!

And CNY is not gonna make things go any better.

I'm tired and really need a break.

Somehow I feel that my health is deteriorating. I'm getting giddy spells all the while. And on monday I could almost faint from the gastric pain that was overbearing since lunchtime. Maybe fainting/collapsing won't be a good idea. At least I get a longer MC to stay home for a peaceful rest. hmm... sounds like I'm dying soon.

Anyways it's wednesday, hope it's a better day!

GO OFF EARLY!!!

The weekends are finally here. Phew what a week at work, it's always like going for a battle. So much to follow up since Eanna has gone on leave. A week of leave in fact. Hope things settle in a little and go on smoothly as we're short of the manpower if anyone goes on leave.

As usual, I'm working my arse off. Being the only pathetic soul doing the HK box, while 3 others are doing SG box. And i'm starting to feel tired and irritated, and starting to complain more often. It's not the work i'm complaining about, it's my colleague. His hissing and noise are getting on my nerves. It startes from when I step into the office at 930 till he finished everything. And now I can't the least be bothered to talk to him anymore.

He likes to not pick up his calls and it would be route to me. Like yesterday, there was this poor lady waiting for him to fax something to him! The lady sounded so pathetic! It's a friday! Ya we have work to do but she doesn't! Why can't he just get it done and over and let the lady go home. That was the first call. Half an hour later!! Imagine the girl waited and waited! I would just bloody come up and look for him! He refused to pick up and it was routed to me. The worse thing he had the cheek to tell me.

"Jocelyn, if the call is route to you( HELLO! Isn't it obvious it will EVENTUALLY route to me), say KC left!"

Damn! You bet I was so pissed off! I didn't even answer or picked up that stupid call!

I mean how much time can faxing take up?! And he was almost done with his work and I'm NOT!

He's just the typical kind of person who show favourtism. Thank God he's not my boss. Sometimes I really pity those people he shouted at. Like yesterday.

I better stop talking about him or else I'll just list out all the bad comments I have about him. Not that nice.

Like a flash, the first month of Jan 2007 has ended. Chinese new year is just round the corner. hmm... new clothes?! maybe not... we'll see about that. Oh and it's definitely the month of love.

About that I've something to say. But not now... cause i'm running late!

Bathing time!

mood: happy =)

Yes I'm happy but I don't know why. Probably a bad day would follow up with a good day. =)

I was supposely to knock off early today but I still went off at about 845. half an hour earlier than the usual time. But work was still rather smooth today.

And I had a great dinner of xiao long bao to satisfy my cravings for the night. After a hard day's work,soul food for the body! =)

Let's see what else... oh! the honeydew ice blended from coffee bean is nice and refreshing,just as how they advertised it. Should give it a shot but no promise that all of you would like it. It's still personal preference.

hmm... Have u guys had the experience of see-ing your crush once again after many years later? Not talking about the kind of crush with your classmates which you still see now. I really meant those who just disappear in your life with a snap of your fingers.

I have always wondered how these crushes of mine has turned out to be. Whether they have change for the better or worse. Physically and ya still physically cause I don't really know them well.

Like I say I was wondering how they looked like. And guess what... I saw one of them while I was on the bus just now. I could not imagine cause I've always wanted to see how he turn out to be. Plus the fact that he stays just 2 blocks away from me and I've not seen him round the neighbourhood for years. But I'm just glad I didn't see him all this while. =x

oops... just pretend I didn't say that.

oh my god! I think i'm gonna die of retribution one day. I've been "discussing" about how people looked! Oh god! All thanks to swee wah!! haha... if he read this, he's gonna feel so innocent and framed! haha... but who cares!=p

After 4mths plus, yes pals! I need to change my phone again. I've dropped my phone too many times. Now my LCD screen is giving me so much problems! So I'm deciding to get a new phone! Sony Ericsson is on the list that I'm gonna try. =)

okies... ciaoz peeps!

Finally this torturous week has come to an end and I'm just so drained from work. I know it's late and I should be in bed. Despite being drained, the reason why am still awake it's cause I was happily chatting away.

Reminisce of the good old days. And how Auds think that I'm rather stern.

But seriously, those will the days. Though I still have my serious times but I enjoyed almost every moment spent with them. And you know what! I'm just gonna make it happen again! This time round. It's gonna last for as long as we live. =)

I'm in the process of making it... to complete this delicious dessert! Nice on the outside. Tasty on the inside!

T'was wen min's last day at ABN today. I'm happy for her but sad that she's leaving cause one khaki is gone. And soon wei shan would be gone too. And I'll be left alone again. No one to bitch with or laugh with. Though I've know them for like 2 mths plus. But it seems like a life time. They're the kind of friends that I would wanna cherish forever and catch hold of in my life.

Anyways was sitting at my desk in the office and was thinking what do i really wanna do. This job just came to my mind.

"Wedding planner."

Helping couples to prepare for their first greatest moment of their lives. And see-ing the smiles on their faces when everything just falls in place. Helping them to look for the best gowns and suits for the dinner. And places to capture their blissful happiness reflecteds in their smiles and eyes.

Bringing a smile to people face.

Nice.

Let's end this with a nice good dream. =)

Did I ever mention to you guys about this colleague who sits besides me that hits the table and always scolding vulgarities?

I think I did. Cause everyday he does that.

And now? He's getting on my nerves.

"fuck.shit.si bei jia lat."

These are the words he always used and suddenly for no reason hit the table real hard. ugh. Imagine life sitting next to him. Sometimes I start to doubt if I'm 20 or he is. He's like in his late 30s but it doesn't seem so.

Ok I really have an issue with him. I better stop or else retribution will be upon me. =x

Now I'm back to my waiting-for-work-to-do state. Relaxing a little bit cause I've been working none stop since I step in for work during the past few weeks and esp. when we came back from bintan.

I had so much work to clear for the past 3 days. Fortunately for me, yesterday was a rather low volume day so ya... manage to finish evrything that was pending. even the forward value ones. =D

Lunch time is approaching... Gonna have Japanese Ramen. =D

Adecco

Haha... this whole adecco thingy is making everybody laughing their heads off! And creating a joke out of my boring and live-less life!

But for the last and Zillion time i'm saying! Auds and turtle! listen hard!!

Adecco is a JOB AGENCY!!!

Not a name in spanish,german,french or whatever langauage you think it is. =D

Oh well I've been home for 2h 30mins already. Yup.... everything went smoothly at work today except that I was feeling rather giddy and trying hard to really keep it still and not move my head too much or too hard.

*yawnx*

I reached my workplace at 9.30am today.... yes as usual I'm late! I'm never early for anything!

Sat down and before I could warm my seat.

"Jocelyn! Today got one SI and get ready for meeting."

Eanna ( my authoriser) said this and I was shocked cause I thought everybody else was waiting for me. But apparently not. Cause in the end the meeting started at 10+. Oh god you bet the meeting was so long, it lasted for an hour or so and I was trying hard to control myself from wanting to shit.

Karen,head of department,intended to start a operating manual for newbies. And she said this... "you can ask Jocelyn".

Karen: "Jocelyn. When she first came in, she didnt know anything and was thrown into the deep sea. She was so blur that she wanted to quit and be a teacher."

=.= thanks for telling the whole wide world.

But ok if not for this meeting I won't know that Karen didn't know what I was doing. She wanted to know why the P & R section are competing with the Securities side in going home late.

Eanna spoke up.

Eanna: "For Jocelyn is understandable. Cause she has to finish the outgoing first,then do the incoming funds,then the internal transfer through email."

Karen:"Huh. Jocelyn do so many things ar!" (in teochew)

She was shocked! I can't believe she don't know anything!! oh god. But here came the nice part.

Lydia:"Jocelyn is very good!"

Then came the applause! haha...

I was blushing with happiness. I don't know how that came along but that's exactly how i felt. When your capability is recognise, you're just on cloud nine.

Now that she knows, I hope they were be more bonus and high increment for me!! hiak hiak.... =D

Seriously, for the first time I pay so much attention to a business meeting. I learn alot. How all this mgmt actually go manage the section and department.

It comes in handy! =o)

Adecco.... to audrey!

Dear ladies and gentlemen! Remember! If you're not sure of anything, don't ever say anything! Or you might as well end up like audrey! Pls read the tagboard and u'll know why.

But thanks to her! She made me de-stress! And made Jo laugh her heads off!!

Auds! Auds! My dear auds! Now you know you better learn!!

haha.... I could not stop laughing even when I read my tagboard again! haha...

Nevertheless, Thanks for the good laugh! =p

And Auds is pretty proud of it cause she even blog about it!! =D

Wanted to photo blog but guess i'll give it a miss. I'm so tired and sleepy now.

The price to pay after a trip with the company? Long hours back at work!

Oh yeah... I just came back from my bintan trip with the company. The room was fab!! Fantastic! Peeps! You guys should check it out!!

You bet I start my bintan trip with a BANG!!

A loud bang in fact! I fell flat on the floor when i was in the company!! Yes yes... so flat that i got a carpet burn! I tripped due to the friction between my sneakers and the carpet! yes how stupid! And the worse thing. There was a guy behind and at the side and my boss was there too! Imagine that! how embarassing man!

Somehow... everyone knew after i came back from the toilet!

Audrey can you imagine? ARe you laughing?

All thanks to the new banking compliance rule, I have so much paper work to do. Piles and piles of papers on my table. The sight of papers now just scares me away.

And thanks to those banks which doesn't comply with the rule, I have to chase them by sending messages! Work load just ain't getting any lighter huh!

When things ain't getting any better, my boss told me my back-up is NOT coming in anymore! She's not coming in! My plans to go on leave and tution arrangement are all gone! gone! gone! GONE!!

How am I suppose to take a break like that. Just hope that Adecco quickly find someone! And I'll be all fine. I'm starting to lose all my patience in this job.

If I had not talk to Jo and Aud yesterday, I wouldn't have know that people actually do read my blog and IN FACT count the number of days I have not blog! My apologies.

That's why despite being so tired and having a bad headache, I still make an effort to blog today.

Anyways work was the norm. I mean what else can I say. That's the problem why I have not been blogging for so long.

There are so many things that happen every single day and I wanna blog it. But once I start work and everything. Those things and words just goes away and I'm only left with the word "WORK".

And I doubt anybody would wanna hear about it,cause it's just the same each day. Unless I make a grieve mistake. And I don't wanna belong to the group that once you're in the workin society, all you talk about is work. It's just like when boys are in NS, they talk about NS all the while.

who says that doesn't happen? It happen sub-consciously! Like when I went out with Kar heng, Halim, Ruben and his gf. The 3 guys just can't stop talking about NS! But the worse thing was I felt like it was like an outing with 4 guys and 1 girl! =)

Oh well that's me. Laugh out loud. I behave the way I am with people i'm comfortable with. If I ever were to try to control and try to impress someone, I think i'll just forget it. It's so uncomfortable not being able to be myself!

Anyways as I was always taught,my upbringing and religion, smoking is bad for health and it's a sin. I always hated the smoke, I still do now. Especially when some stupid idiotic fellow smoke right into my face! It sets me on fire and seeing red!

Working at ABN has become so stressful and I'm grasping for breath every single minute. It's so diffcult to find time to de-stress. Not even when i'm home resting. Somehow I still think about work. But guess what the thing that came to my mind,was the least possible option that would have even come to my mind.

I was sitting at my desk and suddenly this words came to my mind.

"I need to de-stress! I wanna smoke."

Yes... those were the words that came to my mind. I hate smokers but I don't know why it just came to me that smoking might actually help me solve the problem for at least for a couple of minutes.

It's the least possible option but it's also the least possible thing that could happen to me. I dislike the smell and hate the smoke. And I detest the side effects that can happen even more.

Therefore I'm still smoke-free now, though once in a while I would still think of it but nah it's such a expensive "exercise". I spend my money else where. ",)

That's all for it today. Gonna sleep soon I guess.

Will try to update more often! Ciaoz peeps!

Before the clock strikes 12 and end the first day of 2007! Here's wishing all you peeps out there Happy new year!!! Have a great and blessed year ahead!

Anyways 2006 have been kind of smooth for me. Very blessed in every single way! Even the tiniest thing in my life. And my new year resolution came through and that is to remain single in 2006. It would still be the same for 2007! No relationship! Definitely not.

But you bet that I started 2007 with a bang man! I headed to wala wala with zai,ven and zai's 2 other friends. And for my god-gracious life! I drank the most yesterday. Enough to make me high and laugh. For the first I drank so much. Was laughing loudly while walking through holland v. yes imagine that. But wasn't drunk. I could still walk in straight line.

And I always thought that girls puking after too much was obscene. And yes for the first time I puked outside the mac at beauty world. I basically puked out all the friies! For the first time, I reached home bathed and washed up in less then 10 mins!

So much for the start of 2007. But luckily I didn't have any hangover or headache. =)

Just woke up feeling that I won't wanna drink for probably as long as I can. Cause I'm still having that funny feeling in my stomach.

Anyways just watched "Stranger than fiction". T'was a ok show. quite funny too.

Sad thing is that holidays gotta end soon. It's back to work tml.

so it's just sigh....

TIRED!!

Was a stressful and hectic day at work. And ever since I started doing HK box. I've been setting the records for the most number of TTs done per day! And once again without fail I set the highest number of outgoing payment today! 110! All by myself! It's a record!

Ok fine I'm proud of myself! But it's kind of stress.

Trying to rush for cut-off time but eventually we couldn't meet the cut-off time at 6.30pm cause there were just too much to do. And something you should know, hongkongers go back on the DOT over at HK! Not even a minute later! So many payments hit visa... oh well... why am I sharing this with you guys when you guys know nuts!

But just know it's a record. and I didn't leave office till 10+. I mean since I have work till 9+ might as well stay awhile more to claim taxi! Wanted to book the london cab cause it's 8 bucks for booking fee! Am I crazy?

NO! Why bother to help the company to save money??!!! But eventually there wasn't any london cab... sad... got me excited for awhile.

And finally I was home... Bath and had my dinner.

Oh! Ever since I started work at ABN, milo,biscuits and cakes had became my best friends. I had milo,biscuits and cakes for the past 3-4 nights?

Is it enough? oh well.... Just enough to stop me from feeling hungry since the appetite is not there.

hmm.... Life made simple by milo,cakes and biscuits.

How does it sound?

Not pathetic... but seriously simple.

But I need a god damn fun life!! Crazy one!!!

Working at Abn has change my life. Not exactly life, it's my perspective towards life. I wanted to get married at the age of 22. Yes it's not a typo error, it's true. There's a reason for it. I wanted to draw the gap between my children and me closer. give birth early. But now?

Finish my degree,get a job I like. Be a career woman and work my way up within the shortest period showing full potential! Earn good money,buy a car of my own and buy a house. But! I can't get a house myself until the age of 35!! oh my god single at the age of 35?! What a old hag!
So maybe i'll just rent a place... Just move out of this place! A place without my sisters is the best thing in the whole wide world!

But imagine... me... Single career woman. Strong and living alone?!

Can you imagine that?

Pls think harder.

hoo... I just realise how long I have not been blogging. it's seems like forever. Tiredness and laziness would be the excuse.

And finally I have the slightest time to do so today.

Oh! Before I forgot. Happy Christmas peeps!

And well heard of the song "Let it snow",it's "Let it rain" now.

A nice and quiet Christmas. Everybody has gone out except for my folks. And I'm glad they don't come bothering me. Leaving me to enjoy this very precious day that was hard to come by. I woke up at 12+! Oh man. I can't even remember when was the last time I woke up at this time and had a good rest. With the rain outside, it makes me feels like going back to sleep and probably have a good dream of some good-looking hunk! Which I don't know who it might be since I never get to see the face of the people i never knew in my dreams.

Anyways life have been the same, besides work! I have been shopping, that now I've gotta ground myself from going out. Mango sales,zara sales. Seriously, I didn't even try to squeeze myself in, except for the first day of mango sales,which I bought a jacket.

I won't wanna miss such a good day spending at home. With just music,book or more pathetically still making my christmas presents. Yes,making.

Talking about presents, I have spend a bomb on gifts this year. But I did receive mine too. So it ain't that bad. And it always happen every year, people don't know what to get for me. Since I have everything. For a matter of fact, I like surprises. I mean that's the purpose of gift right. Giving it to someone,whereby the person would receive it unexpectedly.

And I have a couple of books in mind at the moment and I don't know which one to get. I just feel like getting every one of them.

But for now, I've gotta finish the book i'm reading and the pressie I've gotta give tml!!

Things were supposed to get better,especially when I'm on leave today. But reality seems to be playing a trick on me.

As usual I reached office at 9.15am yesterday morning. But I didn't start work till 11.30am. My pc was down. I couldn't log in to my intranet, my shared files are gone, my daily processing system was impossible to access too. Basically over the weekend, my pc network was gone, for some reason.

And unwilling I called up the "helpless" desk. And thanks to ABN fantastic idea of outsourcing. They called but no one came to help. So I could only ask for help from the IT outside the room. And oh well, though it took long. He did after all save half of my day back for me.

Work was piling up and up. And nothing was done. And I had to skip lunch. So all I had ytd was pancake,chicken sandwich,one small chocolate muffin heavenly made by auntie jenny and a hot cup of chocolate.

I didn't stop working from 1130 to 830pm. Boy. That was work for ytd. Every thing just gotta turn out bad.

Anyways I met up with swee wah ytd and we watched "Step up".

Seriously, in my opinion, on a range of 1-5 stars if I could give 6 I will. It has this power of telling you to. "Hey! Get up from your seat and start moving peeps!"

But well that's my opinion.

Okies I've gotta bath. It's Thailand in a couple hours of time!

I hope I'll be able to come back in a piece despite some political unrest there!!!

Ciaoz peeps!!

14/11/06

I have lots to blog, lots to share but here I am now sitted in front of my laptop. Not knowing what to say or type. The last time I blog was probably 3 weeks ago.

And wow it's seems like a long week. Work has totally drain every single of my energy. What's left of the little energy is used for tuition and meeting up with friends during the weekends.

Work has seem to turn to the better side nowadays. I'm back to going home at 8+. And leaving time for tuition during the weekends instead of squeezing it all in the weekends.

It just seems that my life has become so routine.

Oh well not exactly. A whole set of meal always end with a nice and sweet,delicious dessert. Making it interesting and colourful. Though it might cause some weight-gaining situation but we all deserve to indulge in sinful treats. ",)

Looking at the cheese cake in the fridge is good enough. Tasting it might turn out otherwise.

Anyways being in Abn for almost 4 months, I've seen almost like 7-8 people leaving. It gives low morale to the people. And just when things ain't getting anywhere better, Payments & Receipts and Treasury merged. My nice lady supervisor was swapped over to Treasury and I'm gonna have the most not gentleman supervisor. But so far I've not gotta report to him so life's good till date.

That's not the point. I saw lydia and teck seng talking to Jack and another girl in the meeting room today. I reckon that both of them wanted to quit since Jack ever mention to me that he wanted to tender but was told to thought it over just last week. So I guess everybody is up to their neck already.

When I tell them,anyone, that I ever tender and withdraw after that. All of them would give me one kind of look. The "why" look.

But the funny thing is that I never knew how resolve or take away the "why" from them. I could not give an answer. It's something that I can't express out myself. I just knew that I felt un-safe when I made that decision. If you ever have such feeling, you'll understand what I mean. Though I'm tired and working late, but somehow I'm happy.

And I've learn something. People may come and go due to the work stress, the working time. But that doesn't means you'll have to follow. It's how versatile you are. How adaptive you are and how you look at every single situation.

Friends asked me why don't you get another job. It's too tiring. But where am I gonna find a job is willing to pay 1.7k diploma holder with grades that sucks but a merit in cca?

It's not gonna be long term cause no matter how. Stuides come first. Degree come first. I'll complete it before I really step into the next stage of my life.

But the first most important lesson for me to learn is to stop spending like there's no tml!

I'm going thailand next week! =.="

Oh man! It was the most embarrassing moment of my life today! I've never blush like that before! Rmb there was this cute guy I mention like few mths back at SB night?

Yes I've got his number,his msn and friendster. Crap man! I can't believe this is happening. Went to watch their band perform, it was fab. Just that the others can't stop teasing us! And shit! I was trying so hard to deny that I was blushing! And the worse thing was he was sitting opp me while having dinner at mac.

Ok it doesn't mean anything. Though I do find that he's cute.

But well I'm still happy. Happy to know a new friend. or rather friends!

It's KTV session tml!!!

Oh anyways I've been very happy recently cause two of my students did well for exams. Nini was promoted from NA to Express! Imagine as a tutor the sense of satisfaction! My efforts of teaching till 12 mid-night paid off. Qiao Ting maths improved from a C to A1!

What more can I ask for? Oh maybe I can't . For Yolanda to improve more, to get more than border line pass.

23/10/06

Hello folks! It's time for some updates. But we'll just skip mon to thurs. And jump to every weekend. I can't really rmb what I've done for the past few weekends. Oh well, one thing I can rmb is spending almost 100 over bucks every weekends.

And from mon to thurs I get stuck in that stupid place! Ever since we've moved to the new place. I've been staying later and later. The whole of last week I finish work at 9+... What's new. Like today I left at 10plus.

Somethings need to be done. Oh well! Karen! Heard that. She just can't be bothered.

Anyways let's skip work! What's so nice about it.

But I do love my weekends! Meeting up with friends. Shopping like some rich tai-tai. How I wish I was.

Met up with ruben and halim one of the weekends. Went for dinner and mustafa. I don't know everytime we meet, we would go there. We just simply enjoy it I guess. But t'was nice. Bitching, laughing... haha...

And last friday I met up with jo,audrey, weiloong and afiq... We went to makansutra. Oh the food was fab! Or maybe probably cause I needed some console after a hard day's work. The meeting was fantastic and nice. Updated them on my small little office "romance"! haha... And audrey just can't stop asking me to get the courier guy's number! HEY! I want to k!! But how!!! He's like gone. And it's gonna be the silmmest chance ever to bump into him again! I just know he's at Great Eastern!

Right. Now i'm thinking about him and those short little walks "together". This sounds so silly. And they just kept pushing me, pscycho-ing me. Disturbing. And Miss andrey said that she thinks it's right. That's why she's asking me to do so.

OKIES! If I have the chance I will!!

And sunday was waking up day! I bought a puma bag for 99 bucks! A top and a bottom that added up to 159.90 bucks! Yes shits! So dead!! I'm gonna control! And I'm dead serious!! Control! Control!!!

I guess that's all. Probably more. But I'm slpy!

Well, it's a public holiday tml!! not sure how you guys gonna spend it! But listen to my good plan!

I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK!!

My fellow ladies and gentlemen! It gives me great honour to annouce to you that I'm officially an auntie!

My cousin gave birth to a baby girl yesterday at 5.36a.m! She's so adorable! So small! And she just slept quietly and peacefully when I was carrying her!

Babies are the most precious gift from God!

Her name is Jemmima. Probably I would upload a photo soon. e\Everybody in the family is so happy about her birth! But sadly I didn't get to see her open her eyes. She kept sleeping throughout the time I was there.

Well that's the only good news I could share now. Besides that, nothing good to share.

Finally secondary school exams are over soon. It would mean that I'm gonna take a break for 2 months! Not rushing here and there. Could you imagine that I actually taught to 12 midnight last week. Boy! I was so tired.

And Ive yet to get enough sleep from all that I've lost.

But shopping was never better! I spent like shit every week man! 100+ every week! Seriously is too much! But I need to vent it out somewhere!

Okies! Self-control!

Now that I've got more time... Hopefully! If work doesn't requires much from me! Which is almost impossible!

Okies that's all for updates!

Ciaoz peeps!

Rest

Finally I'm home resting. Had to cause I was too sick to go to work.

Was sick since monday night, but still went to work ytd. And boy it was horrible man! The headache was killing me and I had so much pressure on me as I was doing the HK side.

The pressure really made it worse and I had to work OT till 9+. Tell me about not wanting to go and rest.

Anyways not much of a rest today, I'll still have to give tuition. So get well soon jocelyn.