Blessed are the meek

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Just reached home not long ago... Just finished bathing... Feel so refreshed now...

It's the big day for SP concert band just now... The IBM concert had ended 7 hours ago... well, can see all of us enjoyed ourselves... We all went super high... Alan, Venassa, Rebecce, Joanne and I came out to dance for "American Graffiti"... I guess this is the first time... We broke the rule again... We always break rules... But it all leads to good results!!! The audience enjoyed "Kabe".... and the whole convention hall was filled with laughter... And we were simply enjoying ourselves on stage... Sufen said that we seems to be enjoying more than performing... But well, if we ourselves don't enjoy... how are we going to lead the audience to enjoy... right?!

My sisters and Lina bought pink roses for me!! So sweet!! My favourite colour!! Thanx peeps!

Apparently, I didn't manage to play the running notes for "Merry Widow"... Coz i came in too early and was lost after that... But well, I'm ok... I didn't dwell over it... I guess I learn how to take things lightly now... It's no use bothering over it... I can stop the band... the conert has to go on... So all I can do is... To enjoy this concert... And to focus on my other pieces for the concert... "RiverDance" went well... Even though I screwed up the starting when Yong xiang was playing... But we got together then after that he screwed up abit but got back again...

So glad he didn't rush... I think we did a great job... I'm happy for River Dance... hehe...

After the concert, went to Holland V with Muru, Alan, Venasaa, Raf, Chee Guan and Jermaine... Had our dinner at a coffee shop... The eupho and tuba section was there too... All of us wanted to go Breko... But they had no sits for 16 people so ended up at Coffee Bean... Not too bad... Enjoyed ourselves... Took lots of photos...

Supposed to reach home at 2+... But both jermaine and I had a long talk... After alighting from the cab... we sat down at a place and started talking... We talked till 4+... We talked about lots of things... At first it was about my problems... Some sensitive feelings I have with the section... then talked abouot her problems... Just contiune talking non-stop... our grandmothers, some eerie stuff but that was like for few mins... then about relationship....

Never had a good talk with her for a long time... Both of us have been busying with band, projects, tests and personal stuff... bought a drink from 7-11 then sat outside and talk again... My mum called a few times to ask where am I... I know she's just worried... Not angry with me...

Kind of weird... Jermaine's father only trust her with me and ting hui... same for my mum... When she knows I'm with Jermaine or Sufen... She doesn't say anything...

Even though the concert is over, I'm not the least happy... In fact, I'm sad... But glad that I talked to Jermaine... It's not because of my playing or becoz everything is over... I'm glad that everything is over... I can have a break! Finally! Becoz of this concert... There's some unhappiness between me and some people... And I'm very sad about it... probably the section need a break from me... I'm too hard on everybody... I'm sorry if I'm too hard on you guys... Probably i'm being too sensitive but I believe there are people who are unhappy...

I think recently many things happen in my life... it has change my life... I've changed abit... I've learn not to put my heart and soul into everything now... I just do what I have to do that's all... I've not been my usual self... Coz I can't anymore... everything has change my life and I'm really very sad... I can't even used words to express how I feel... All I know is that... the feeling is making cry...

I think I know what I should do already... Sorry Jermaine... After all those advices, I still stick with my initial decision...

Backstage preparation before the percussion individual performance...