Nei wanted to give Andy and I a treat... Coz both of our birthday fall on this month... His is tml and mine is in 2 weeks time... Since Andy is the birthday boy I let him decide where we should makan... But that guy took such a long time to think... He went from head to tail then back to head again... So fickle minded... One moment Thai food, the other moment indo-food... Thai Express, he said he had a bad impression... Swenses don't like... Can't stand him... So in the end I decided for him... Swenses...
Reached PS then... Still couldn't make up his mind when he saw the menu for Thai Express... Feel like bashing him up!!! ARGH!!! End up! Decided to have lunch at Thai Express then Ice-cream at Swenses... hehe...
I had "Fire Noodle".... Super spicy... For once I eat till I cried... Guess I did the wrong thing by eating spicy food with cold water... No wonder it makes it worse... So full!! Straight after that we went over to Swenses to have Ice-cream... Shared "Earthquake" with Nei, Pastor Lee and Andy... Then after that we discuss about the Sunday church outing... Everything's out now... So glad....
Simply couldn't walk after that... Went to Carrefour to get some tidbits.... Ohya... Met Jackson and Bee Cheng... Hmm... Wonder why they are together? Well... Nvm...
HURRAY!!! PS is having some bra sales!! haha... Saw a few which I like... Going to get them on Wednesday... Intended to go with my sis, Mei Chan... But I guess can forget abt it... After what had happen...
Head down to Orchard point OG... Bought 2 skirts... hehe... at $32... Well, quite cheap.... took a long time to try and walk around somemore...
Separated with Nei and pastor lee after we came out from OG... Decided to go home... But both of us had the sudden crave for "Mango Tango"... SO headed down to Bugis just to drink... hehe... Stupid right... But well... Who cares! I had my cup of drink! Then from Bugis took a cab home...
Everything seriously went well... But everything was screwed up when we reached home....
I'm so upset... why is my closet people only seems to be close to me physically but not mentally and emotionally... Ain't we supposed to share everything since we are a family...
Mei Chan came home with a big present... And I asked her who gave her that... she said her fren... I asked her if the guy likes her she said she don't know... But I think God had it all planned... To let me the fool to get out from darkness... A card dropped out from the bed, I picked it up and I told her the card dropped... I opened up the card and see... Guess what I saw... They've been together for a month... Why is is that she had to lie to me? I bet Meiying knew about this coz the guy is her friend...
I really feel like a fool... why?! I was angry at first but I was sad after that... Ain't we supposed to be close?! Don't tell me all this while, it's just pretending... I told them everything in my life... I share with them everything... Ain't they supposed to tell me their life? I thought we should share... Probably I'm too naive... I really so cheated... I think they don't treat me as an elder sister... Probably i'm not their biological sister...
I wanted to change the Jocelyn I am now... I want to change into a sacaristic, snob, hack care, irritating bitch.... Whoever talk to me... I won't bother about them... I won't give any advice or do what i do now... I want the good part of me to vanish and the bad in front of everybody... But God knew what I was thinking... Nei called and told me somethings about the skirt... Then she asked whether is Meiying home or not? She told me to give her a call and I told her I don't want and that I can't be bothered about them... before I couldn't finished my sentence I cried...
I told her everything and she consoled me... Her words really make those hatred go away... She said that sometimes what I do to people... They may not do the same thing... My sisters may feel that It's their privacy or probably she's afraid that we may scold them... If we know that these people are like that... Don't put all your heart and soul into this matter coz what I could get back is disappointment... She knock some sense into me...
I put all my heart and soul into them, even though I said I wouldn't care... But all I get was the pierce in my heart...
I think I shouldn't put all my heart and soul into other people's matters anymore... Except for my own work, interest and church... Coz I will end up hurting myself....
Nei called Meichan to lecture her... Think instead of feeling gulity (coz she didn't bother to apologize), she hates me to the core now... She's now downstairs with her friends... She's crying to her friends telling them what I did to make my aunt scold her and how she cried... And I become the bad guy in front of all her friends... But well, be it...
I'm going to try to guide them when they need to... But no longer with all my heart and soul anymore...
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