Blessed are the meek

I need a shoulder... I really need a shoulder to lean on... Was talking to Cia and I cried...

Cia and Ivan gave me different comments... when they knew about it...

Cia told me to find the right 'remedy' and to 'rectify' the situation... she told me not to give up... She told me to work double hard to help her... Teach her... I know it's hard to been the eldest... getting blame for not setting a good example... It's the sisterly bond that keeps everything going...

Ivan told me.... That they just have to learn their lesson... God has a plan for them...

I've cried for them too many times... Too many... I scolded and yelled at them before... I even cried before them and begged them but they don't appreciate... After awhile they are back to the same old self again... They pretend that nothing happen... Why!

I guess when I decided to gave up on them this year... I didn't really meant give up... I still care but I had to pretend that I don't... Not exactly pretend... I had to control... Nei was right... Not to put all my heart and soul... but if I'm going to step in again... The same old thing will happen again...

I felt so much better not putting in so much... But now?

Haiz.... face all this after my exams... just got to concentrate on my last 2 papers...

I have to be strong to face the pressure coming from everywhere... But I'm not sure if I'm strong enough...